


the Tactician

by ToyBoxOfSuz



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Birthday, Blood, Brotherhood: Final Fantasy XV, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Secrets, Fever, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Gladnis, Growing Old, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Kid Fic, Loneliness, Loyalty, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Molestation, Murder, Origin Story, Panic Attacks, Secrets, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tattoos, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Teenage Rebellion, Underage Drinking, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2020-10-01 19:14:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 137,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToyBoxOfSuz/pseuds/ToyBoxOfSuz
Summary: While the Amicitias are the Shield of the people, the Scientias are the daggers of the king. Daggers meant to fight, to sneak around, to end up in one's back.An Ignis Scientia origin story, introducing him as a retainer, and eventually a spymaster to Noctis. How did he grow up and how was his life as a beginner advisor? How did he meet Gladio? And Prompto?Eventual Gladnis.More tags will be added once the story progresses.





	1. Prologue

The storm that night was bigger than they had ever experienced before. It was maybe the gods’ way to show their displease over the war. Or it truly was the end of the world like all those strange books would describe it. Though they wouldn’t talk about a storm, but eternal darkness. Matrona closed the windows, she also boarded a few so the wind wouldn’t break them. The sound of the wind and rain was so loud neither of the house’s habitats could sleep at all. Instead they huddled together with all the other women in the main room, trying to remember when was the last time a storm like this hit. Thankfully no windows broke, but that old, sick tree in the backyard gave up fighting the storms with a loud crack. Matrona thought they will plant a new one when she heard that. It was a dark, stormy and loud night. They could barely hear each other all night.The rain eased up sometime during the early morning hours, right before dawn, but the wind continued howling. Most of the others returned to their rooms to try and catch a few hours of sleep. Matrona assured them she will prepare a good breakfast after such a scare.

They were living far from the city, well beyond the wall, in a part of Lucis where the war wouldn’t rage that violent. Where the hunters could still protect them when it was necessary. But the Empire wasn’t interested in their territories so far. They went for places much more hurting for the Lucis Kingdom, like Galahd. But what Matrona heard about Galahdans they put up a good fight, and apparently the Empire liked that.

They also saw many refugees pass their village toward the Crown city, in the hope of a better, safer life. If Matrona was younger she would maybe do the same, but then she let the future for the others; she had no place in it anymore. She was content to stay in the village and tending for other elder people in peace as she had done for years now. In the village they called her house a Passing House. Because old people had visited only once. And never left. She didn’t mind called that; taken her family was serving the royal family, the Lucis Caelums, who respected death. Death was never something she was afraid of, but something she always respected. So why not help others see that, despite their obvious fears? Most of the inhabitants however, were bitter, sad and usually tended for themselves. Matrona didn’t blame them; with the war feeling more threatening, with people fleeing from the outskirts, with everything being just a little overwhelming besides the obvious threat of death, they could only handle so much. But that’s why she was here: to help them spend their last days in peace and quiet. She didn’t mind the title the villagers stick on her, the Passing Lady. As long as no one bothered her and her guests everything was fine.

After she checked on all her guests she went to assess the state of the yard, if she will have to call a gardener to help tidying it up. The backyard seemed fine aside from the tree, though as she was walking toward the main gates, seeing the messy garden, checking that the koi pond will have to be cleaned, he heard a noise. A strange kind of noise that was rare around the house, or even the village.

People usually wouldn’t raise a kid this far beyond the wall. And what Matrona heard was a weak cry of an infant. She looked around, trying to find the source of the crying. It was weak, choking and hoarse, as if the little thing was crying  _ all night _ . Matrona was ready to find a baby, but she wasn’t ready for the state it was in; it was put by the huge gates in a basket purely not for a baby to be carried in. It was wrapped in soaked rags and its fine skin was bearing small scratches. The poor thing must have been out in the storm all night, without anyone hearing its cries.

“You poor thing,” Matrona sighed, crouching down to the basket, and reaching inside to take the child into her arms. She never wanted children, but it wasn’t that fact that made her sad, but that this was a life still at its tiny beginning and someone left it to the gods’ will if the child would see the light of day at all. Life, no matter how hopeless the times were, was always precious.

The baby seemed only just a few weeks old, tiny and weak from crying all night. Wrapped in clothes that looked like a jacket of a man’s, useless for anything else than wrapping a baby inside them. In one of the pockets Matrona found a soaked letter in a language foreign on Lucis, or Niflheim. She could make out a few words, but not because she wasn’t speaking that language, the letter was just too soaked to see anything of it. Matrona sighed at the state of it; someone surely tried to write something about not being able to take care of a baby. Or something. Probably. She could make out a word, which she wasn’t sure what could mean, so she figured she will give that name to her new guest.

“Well then, welcome to the Passing House, Ignis,” she sighed looking at the exhausted little baby in her arms.

Taking a baby into a home which sheltered people who were prepared to die was a strange thing. It stirred some emotions of the inhabitants, mostly bitter ones. Matrona herself wasn’t too interested in raising a child for the sake of having a child, more like the duty of trying to save a life she could. She had done that many years in the past, for Lucis, for her family, until one day she had enough and retired to help people in a different way. She was always detached of people, she had to be, until the day she wasn’t really seeking human contact more than necessary. She knew that this wasn’t the best home for a child, but where she could put him? She decided to try and raise him for a few years then decide what to do with him. It wasn’t like she had no time, she was just lacking something they called empathy. And the guests weren’t entirely equipped with child raising skills either.

The first few years weren’t exactly a disaster, but Matrona admitted she and the others could have done better. Could pay more attention to an orphan whose first contact with the world was through their eyes. Which, fairly, wasn’t the prettiest sight. Seeing the world through bitter, dying glasses wasn’t something a child should see.

Ignis was raised with the utmost care for his well being, he was tended to in every way possible. While he was being a loud infant at the beginning, barely sleeping and it felt like everything scared him, he grew to be a quiet child, barely talking. Not even when he should have. Matrona remembered one night, when the wind was loud and the rain was pouring that he spotted just three years old Ignis stand by the door of her room late into the night. She sent him back to his room, telling him that no storm ever hurt a man out here. Ignis was reluctant to go, but he said nothing. He was silent. But in the end he left. Only later Matrona realized that maybe she should have taken him, at least to her room, to stay the night. But her screams would have scared him more than any storm. The morning when Ignis came to have his breakfast he looked like he didn’t sleep at all and Matrona felt maybe just a bit of guilt over his state. That was the first time she thought of calling to the city for the sake of this child; she wasn’t cut for raising a child anymore, she had more luck with people dying. She always had.

For some, sentimental reason Matrona decided to keep Ignis around for a little more. Even if she knew this wasn’t a good place for him. Maybe she was getting old, maybe she was already forgetting the horrors of her life, maybe by the end of it she wanted children. Probably not, she wondered, it was mostly similar to being attached to a pet.

But the more Ignis grew, the more it was clear he is bright and talented. There were some aspects Matrona saw herself in him, and then her heart broke. She wondered if it wasn’t just a refugee not being able to take care of their child who left him there, but the gods granted him to her, as a kind of joke to still offer something to the family, despite her not wanting children for that exact reason.

Ignis was smart. After an old lady recited the alphabet to him, because that was the only ‘song’ she knew by her old age, Ignis taught himself to read. Then to write. And when one day, as Ignis was practicing to write Matrona’s name by the breakfast table, she knew he would have to go. She can’t keep him at the Passing House, with the Passing Lady, for one more reason now.

Matrona didn’t even ask Ignis if he wanted to leave. She just called the only person in the family she could still trust, mostly because he was the most simple man she knew. The most dedicated too. One who didn’t break under the pressure of the family, because he stopped in time, being content with only being a servant. She wondered if things were different if she chose that path too. If she stayed as a maid. But people told her she was too bright, too talented to be a maid. And she knew they will tell the same thing to this smart boy, too.

She didn’t tell Ignis until the day before she would expect the man to come. They were setting the table for dinner. Ignis was just four years old, quiet, reserved, a bit like a ghost. Matrona felt guilt ping at her when she looked at him placing the plates on the table. They sat down with a few of the guests who would come to eat, as usual. Matrona didn’t mind discussing personal matters in such a way, it wasn’t like Ignis leaving was that personal.

She told him that someone will come tomorrow morning and take him away to the Crown City. Ignis seemed like he contemplated those words. Matrona thought he will accept them as he accepted everything that was said to him, in silence, in obedience… But then Ignis looked at her, with those strangely green eyes that were unfamiliar in this part of Lucis and asked why. Matrona just told him the truth, that he will have a better life there. Ignis didn’t ask more than that. But somehow he felt more silent than usual. He didn’t practice writing that night either.

The next morning, Matrona packed up the child’s things; aside just a few set of clothes, he had nothing. None of the people here needed much so she thought a child wouldn’t need many things either. Ignis had no toys growing up, and his room was empty, clean and fairly a bit sad. Though there was one book he kept around, by his futon. A children’s alphabet book from Matrona’s collection. He found it on his own after he learned to recite the alphabet. Matrona had to admit it was a pretty book, maybe that attracted Ignis to it, aside from the fact that he learned to read and write from it. She considered it for a moment, but she left the book by Ignis’ bag. It wasn’t like she could give much to him.

It was a quiet day. With a cool, spring morning. This is why Matrona chose this part of the world to hide in, for the spring mornings. They were sitting on the wooden porch by the main entrance. Ignis’ tiny legs too short to reach the stone step, his eyes squinting toward the gates. Matrona sighed as she was looking at the boy; light brown hair, green eyes, truly going to be a pretty one when he gets older. A bit scrawny. Terribly smart. Alone. Matrona figured she should feel guilty over it; over not providing the kind of love a child would need, but she was selfish. In the last years of her life, she apparently became selfish. She had nothing to give, yet she just wanted to see how it was to have a child maybe. She wasn’t sure and if she wanted to be honest, she didn’t want to look too deep into it. It would just mess everything up.

Casamus, the person she called, arrived a little later in a fancy, royal car, with a few Crownsguard accompanying him. Matrona couldn’t help but feel a little unsettled upon seeing that car. It brought back memories she wanted to keep dormant. She stood from the porch and walked ahead to greet the man getting out of the car, only halfway remembering to urge Ignis to follow her. He followed either way. They met Casamus halfway on the path leading up to the front gates.

“Good morning, Matrona,” Casamus called on his soft voice, smiling politely.

“‘Morning, this is the child I was talking about,” she started, never being a fan for useless courtesies. They both knew Casamus wasn’t here to visit, nor to enquire of her well being. She didn’t want to and he didn’t press. That’s why sometimes she still called him. He just smiled, maybe a little sad, but his eyes turned toward Ignis.

“I see. Why did you call me now, and not sooner?” he asked. Matrona sighed, refusing the urge to look at Ignis.

“To be honest, I didn’t want to. If he were anyone else, he’d have had a decent time here. But he’s… he’s bright, you see,” she said, her hand clenching and unclenching by her side for some reason. “It’d be cruel to keep him with me here.”

There was just a moment of tense silence, which she thought will be interrupted with him questioning her. But instead he just smiled, with that too knowing smile of his and slowly crouched down on one knee addressing the child this time.

“Hello, Ignis, my name is Casamus Scientia,” he said. “I’ll be your Uncle from now on. I came to bring you to a new home.”

A new home, Matrona wondered. She would barely call this place a home. It was a Passing Home; not a place people would call home at all. So with all things considered, Ignis will be taken to ‘a home’ rather than a ‘new’ one.

Ignis was quiet as usual. Matrona eyed the cherry tree not far from them, wondering if she should trim it.

“Would you like to say goodbye to your Auntie?” Casamus spoke and something stirred in Matrona. Something ugly, something that won’t let her sleep anytime soon.

“Please just take him, he has no place here,” she said, looking down at Ignis. Casamus just smiled and reached for Ignis’ hand. But Ignis pulled back, taking a step back. He was holding his book tight to his chest, his tiny lips pursed in a way Matrona was just too familiar with. And when Ignis raised his huge, green and tear filled eyes at her, she sighed.

“Can I come back?” Ignis asked. Quietly and trembling, like a storm in the distance. And once again he reminded her too much of herself.

“You’ll do better in the city,” she said. Tears overflowed in green eyes, rolling down pink cheeks then. Ignis cried a few times, but always in silence, always in a way he wouldn’t alarm others. And Matrona wondered if it was her fault, that a child won’t call out when they are in pain. She watched as Casamus put his hand on Ignis’ tiny shoulder and stirred him away, toward the car. “Please take care of him,” Matrona heard herself say. “Don’t let him become… don’t let him make bad decisions, don’t let the family swallow him alive,” she was aware she was rambling. But she couldn’t help it. Something happened. Something snapped in her as she was watching Ignis being taken away. “He may need glasses and he can already read, get him a teacher as soon as you can...” 

Casamus stopped then, looking over his shoulder at her. She didn’t want to imagine what he saw when he looked at her. She knew it must have been ugly. Just like how she felt for a long time now. Did she do the right thing? Was she right giving Ignis to the family? It’s not too late to call him back, to try and raise him. But then she remembered the nights she spent screaming. The way she would never be able to connect with him, with that deep storm that was brewing inside that child. She had already gave up her life, and she didn’t want to take anyone else’s.

“Please take care of him.” She couldn’t say goodbye to Ignis. This was the closest she could do. Ignis watched her too, with wide, glinting eyes. She must have looked pathetic to him.

But Casamus didn’t try to comfort her, didn’t try to put bandaid to an amputation, he just smiled with that all too knowing smile of his and nodded. He assured her quietly and helped Ignis into the car, and handed his bag to one of the Crownsguard to put in the trunk. Just as unceremoniously as they arrived, they already drove away. Matrona stood there for a while, just looking at the main gate where the car was parked only a few minutes ago. She wondered how this was different from any of those times a guest passed away. This was the same. They passed to have a different, a better life. Ignis too, he went to have a better life, a life he deserved after he cried all night when no one would come to his rescue, after living with an adoptive aunt who couldn’t comfort him, not even on the scariest night, after only having people as company who were about to die.


	2. Chapter 01

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignis is brought to the Citadel and he hates it.

When Ignis was brought to the City, his Uncle decided to keep him close by applying him to be housed in the Citadel, in the live-in servant quarters. There were a few people who stayed in the building during the week, if they were living further away, or were still applying for an apartment. Most of the rooms were occupied, but Ignis could still be housed until he was eighteen. Though of course in exchange for this he was about to serve the Citadel’s royals. It didn’t particularly meant the royal family per se, but mostly them. Casamus didn’t mind, because he planned on raising a servant out of the boy, as per the strange wish of Matrona. She looked crushed when Ignis was taken, but Casamus knew this was the right choice. That place was no home for a child, and if they had the opportunity to give him a better upbringing and more options for a better life, then why wouldn’t they take it?

Ignis was quiet, he basically didn’t speak for the first few days and Casamus started to worry about him. He was sure Matrona told the truth when she said the child was gifted, but in what way exactly? The older she’d gotten the less talkative she was, the less he could understand what she was trying to say. But he knew that she was holding this child precious, no matter what happened to her. So Casamus was patient, waiting for Ignis to loosen up, to get used to the new environment. He saw the way the kid was looking out the window with huge eyes once they were in the city. He was living in the country, in a house surrounded by a lush, but messy garden, with animals and birds waking them up the mornings. This was probably the first time he’d seen buildings like in Insomnia, or this many people, or a car, for that matter. Matrona was a good woman, but she was no way qualified to raise a child anymore. Ignis was dressed in old clothes that were too big for him, too dirty for anyone to wear. His hair was probably occasionally cut, if ever. And the glasses thing. Casamus knew they had a lot of work before they could even start teaching him at all.

The strangest thing was, however, Ignis didn’t know what it meant when Casamus was holding his hand out for him. Matrona probably never held his hand and it was showing. Casamus couldn’t help but wonder what else the child was lacking due to her being there in the first years of his life? Will he be able to be taught like this? But Matrona wouldn’t have called him if she wasn’t sure Ignis still had hope.

The first couple of weeks were spent with lots of paperwork, and introductions. Casamus made sure to officially take the boy to the Scientia family, giving him the name Ignis Scientia. He was also taken into records as a proper citizen of Lucis, as all this was failed to be done by Matrona. He was introduced to the rest of the Citadel staff, and to the teachers who will be handling his studies until he was ready to go to school. It must have been a heavy few days for an adult too, let alone a four years old child. But Ignis didn’t look like he was tired. He didn’t cry. But he didn’t speak either. When prompted, he occasionally greeted people and answered their questions courtly, but that was it. He didn’t have questions, he just accepted everything that was said to him.

Though a few days later when Casamus went to wake him up, he found him already awake, holding the only book he took from Matrona’s place. Casamus sighed and sat down on Ignis' bed, just looking at him. His glasses were placed neatly on the bedside table, his freshly cut hair all tangled up, and his eyes looking at something on the opposite wall.

“Good morning, Ignis,” Casamus tried. “You couldn’t sleep?” 

There was no answer again. Which was troublesome. Kids his age should talk all the time. Just like the little Prince Noctis when sometimes Casamus had the honor to see him. Oh, that boy. He was such a chatterbox and King Regis was the proudest of him. Even if he was only two years old. And then there was Ignis. But Casamus had patience, and he knew that’s why Matrona called him.

“Would you like to rest today?” he asked again. Ignis looked at him at that. “Just stay in your room, and read? Would you like that?”

The lack of reaction was worrisome to say the least, so Casamus decided to keep Ignis by his side that day. He dressed him and told him they will be working together and took him with him to tend to his duties. He also decided to start teaching him about royal etiquette. They actually had the dining room for themselves that day, so Casamus figured maybe table etiquette would be good to busy the kid with. He led him to the huge dining table in one of the royal dining rooms and started to explain the utensils to him, where to place them on the table and how would a table for a royal dinner look like. Ignis was sitting on one of the chairs as Casamus sat by him, teaching him. But in the middle of all that, when they moved to the glasses, Ignis looked distracted.

“Is something the matter?” Casamus asked, when Ignis kept looking around. No answer, as he expected. So he picked up a knife and gently hit it to a crystal glass to catch Ignis’ attention. The kid gasped, wincing and covered his ears. He looked at the glass as if it was the first time he’d seen it.

“I don’t like that sound,” he said suddenly. Which, truly, made Casamus happier than it should. So he smiled and put the knife down.

“I apologize, I was just trying to have your attention,” he said, reaching out to the child to calm him down. “Is everything alright, Ignis?”

The kid looked at him then, slowly moving his hands away from his ears. He looked shocked, still trying to get back together, apparently. Casamus wondered if it was from the sound of glass hitting metal, or something else.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” Ignis said. “I wanna go back.” His voice shivered as he said those words.

“This is your new home now, son, you can’t go back,” Casamus told him gently. Ignis pressed his lips together, his legs started swaying as he was sitting in his chair. The poor kid was clearly upset, but he was trying everything not to cry. It was heartbreaking, to be honest. A kid shouldn’t have such restraints, they should go and yell and scream and cry. Casamus sighed, wondering what he should do here. He didn’t have kids on his own, but he helped to raise a lot for the family, most of them taken from their parents. Some of them more difficult to handle, but most of them were talking at least.

Casamus sighed, trying to think about how to assure the kid when the door of the dining room opened. He expected one of the maids or someone from the staff to enter, but for his greatest surprise it was His Majesty and Sir Amicitia, seemingly having an argument.

“Regis, you do realize that-” Sir Amicitia was in the middle of something, when he spotted the servants by the table. Casamus immediately got to his feet and urged Ignis to do the same, then bowed to the two royals.

“Good Morning, Your Highness,” he said. Ignis stayed silent. 

“Oh, good morning, Mr. Scientia, it’s looking out to be a breezy day today,” the king smiled at them immediately, seemingly relieved that he could get out of another argument with his shield. Casamus refused the urge to smile, the quarrels of the two were infamous among the staff after all.

“Just so we can prepare for the more busy ones,” he remarked with a polite smile.

“And who’s this young man?” King Regis enquired as he walked toward them. Casamus didn’t mind, he always welcomed the king and his small talks any time of the day after all. Even if Sir Amicitia usually looked pretty agitated behind him, due to the king ‘neglecting’ his duties.

“Introduce yourself to His Majesty, Ignis,” Casamus nudged the boy. Ignis, still seeming upset, bowed again.

“My name is Ignis Scientia, Your Highness,” he said.

“Oh, so serious,” the king chucked fondly. “Another Scientia, huh? What happened to his parents?” he asked Casamus.

“I’m not entirely sure, Your Highness, the boy was left with Lady Matrona when he was just an infant. He’d only came to the Citadel a few weeks ago,” Casamus answered. The king fell silent, even Sir Amicitia sighed a little at the mention of that name.

“How is she doing?” Sir Amicitia asked into the heavy silence.

“She’s doing well, Sir,” Casamus answered curtly. Regis smiled again, turning his gaze at the boy. Then slowly knelt down to be on one level with him.

“How do you like the Citadel so far, my boy?” he asked gently. Casamus sighed a little, looking down at Ignis and he was ready to excuse him if he wouldn’t answer.

“I don’t like the sound of it,” Ignis said suddenly, his voice shaking.

“The sound?” the king frowned, looking up at Casamus for help, but the attendant was just as lost as he was. Regis hummed, turning his gaze back to the boy. “And is there anything you like so far?”

Ignis pressed his lips together again, but this time he couldn’t stop the tears.

“No,” he cried.

“Oh my, that won’t do,” Regis spoke quietly and slowly reached out to the child, then pulled him gently into a hug. Ignis burst into full crying then, not reaching for Regis however, so the king pulled him closer to his chest. “My boy, you’ll find something you like here, I promise.”

“Your Highness,” Casamus smiled, a little grateful for the attention the kid has gotten from the king. King Regis always liked kids, but ever since Prince Noctis has been born, he was just softer when it came to children.

“I promise you, there will be something that will bring your smile back, Ignis,” Regis pulled away and took the kid’s hands in his. “And if you can’t find it, I’ll help you. Deal?”

Ignis sniffed, looking at his hands in the king’s. Casamus was sure he won’t answer, but in the end, Ignis nodded and his tiny fingers were seeing grip on the king’s larger ones. The first time he would reach for anything Casamus noted. Of course only someone like King Regis could do that to a child who was shut-in. 

“Hang in there, little one,” Regis squeezed those tiny hands before he would stand up again. Ignis followed him with his gaze, his tears freely rolling down his messy cheeks. His dark green eyes were unlike anyone Casamus had seen in Lucis, and he sometimes wondered just where did his parents come from. From how far away at all?

“Thank you for your kind words, Your Majesty,” Casamus smiled.

“We really shouldn’t let out children be unhappy now, am I right?” Regis nodded with that bit of a sad sparkle in his eyes.

“Regis, we need to go,” Sir Amicitia dared to interrupt this time.

“Right, we have something very important to do,” the king sighed, rubbing at his beard, and taking one last look at Ignis, who was still looking at him. “Goodbye, Ignis, Casamus,” the king greeted them and turned to follow his shield out of the dining room, but not where they were coming from. There was a hidden door on the opposite wall, that came open the moment they rached it and closed once they walked out.

Casamus sighed, watching the wall for a moment too long before turning back to Ignis.

“You didn’t say goodbye to His Majesty,” he scolded him softly as he dipped his fingers into his pocket to hand the kid a handkerchief.

“I forgot,” Ignis muttered as he sniffed. His uncle just sighed, being grateful that the boy was at least talking.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked. Ignis frowned up at him, though then he shook his head. He then looked at the place the king and Sir Amicitia left.

“Does His Majesty keep his promises?” he asked. Casamus was surprised at the question. Somehow it was… unnerving to say the least. It was such a loaded question.

“Yes,” he answered in the end, honestly. Ignis eyed him at that, as if he wanted to know if he was telling the truth? But whatever the kid decided he just handed the handkerchief back to him and sat back to the table without a word.

Apparently, the meeting with the king was the push that Ignis needed to come out of his shell a little more. He got more used to wearing his glasses too and not taking them off when he grew tired of them, or ‘forgetting’ them somewhere. It was also uncanny how the boy seemingly heard and understood everything that was told to him. In no time, he had learned to dress himself appropriately, tend to his room and do smaller tasks for the staff when he was asked. Casamus was trying to keep the boy on his toes; giving him books on various subjects, trying to see which would interest Ignis the most. But the thing was, Ignis read everything that was handed to him. He didn’t seem like he had much interest in most things, yet he was learning fast. Other kids at this age were already showing interest in certain things, but with Ignis he seemed like he was the most interested in tending to his duties. The older he grew the more worried Casamus was for him. Ignis was brilliant, he showed potential, and every time Casamus was thinking about offering the boy piano lessons, he remembered what Matrona told him: don’t let the family swallow him alive. The more Ignis grew, the more it was clear that his potential will attract the attention of the family and Casamus will have to answer them one day. He truly wanted to keep his promise Matrona, to keep Ignis safe. But if Matrona truly wanted that, she would have kept him by his side, in a village where people only go to die.

Yet, apparently the Gods had other plans with the boy, as one day King Regis called Casamus to his office and told him that he appointed Ignis to be Prince Noctis’ retainer.


	3. Chapter 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignis meets Noctis.

If anyone asked Ignis what would be his first memory, he would lie. Telling he can’t exactly recall. But his first memory would be of a night when he was thirsty. He was standing on the porch of the house he was first taken in and looked at a woman in the garden of the house. An older woman, with dark, messy, long hair and dirty, old clothes holding daggers in her cut up, bleeding hands, screaming and fighting without her slippers on. Back then Ignis had no concept of what would be frightening, so he wasn’t afraid at all. He was curious; why was she crying, why was she screaming, what was she doing? Ignis had learned the answers to those questions too many years later.

But whenever they asked him, what was his first memory, he would tell that the sight of King Regis in the Citadel. Closely followed by a talk they had when he was just four years old. That memory was more vivid than the woman. Yet, they both felt very precious.

Ignis was only six years old, having a break from his duties for that day. He got sandwiches from the kitchen and they sent him to the inner garden to enjoy his break. He wasn’t sure why that garden of all places would make his dinner more enjoyable, but at this point Ignis did what he was told as a good servant. His uncle had told him that a good servant does that. Listening to people. Doing what they are told. And that was that. So he was sitting in the inner garden of the Citadel, eating his sandwiches. He watched people walk by, either hurrying or not at all. Servants, royals, Council members. He could name most of them, a few of them even greeted him. Ignis didn’t like it; sitting in the garden and eating his sandwiches. It reminded him that he still had nothing he liked about the Citadel. There was nothing here other than duties to spend the day. The nights were still the same too.

As he was thinking about it, he saw Prince Noctis dash through the open corridor. Laughing. Ignis perked up, because Prince Noctis was usually accompanied by someone; a teacher, or a handler or his father. But there was no one with him this time. The prince disappeared behind the corner for a moment, just to dash back around laughing still. Ignis watched him with the curiosity of a bored spectator in a zoo. Noctis acted like he was running from something. Or someone. When he was about to run to the other direction, Noctis spotted him. Looked right at him and smiled. Ignis frowned. But he immediately remembered that when people smile at him, he should smile back; a thing his Uncle was saying all the time. So he was trying to pull his lips into a smile too. Without even missing a beat, Noctis ran to him with full speed, almost falling flat on his face as he was trying to hit the breaks before he would crash into Ignis.

“What are you doing?” Prince Noctis asked out of breath as he was leaning way into his personal space. Ignis noted how strange he smelled; like some kind of flowers and expensive shampoo. He never met him like this close, Ignis had only saw the prince from a distance and usually for only a few seconds before he had to be escorted somewhere. But this time he didn’t seem like he had anywhere to go.

“I’m having lunch,” Ignis answered, looking down at the sandwiches on his lap. Noctis followed his gaze with his huge, blue eyes, eying the food too.

“Eww they have cucumber in them!” he exclaimed, his face scrunching up into a grimace. “You like cucumber?” Ignis blinked. Did he? He frowned, thinking.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “You don’t?”

“I  _ hate  _ them!” Nocts stomped his feet, as if the vegetable in Ignis’ egg salad sandwich just told him he was a poophead. Ignis just frowned, looking at the food again, then back at Noctis. Then he picked up the sandwich he didn’t start on yet, took it apart and picked out all the cucumber, placing the slices down on the napkin next to himself.

“This is better?” he asked, holding it up for the prince. Noctis narrowed his eyes at him and took the sandwich, checking just one more time to see if there really wasn’t any cucumber in it. When it happened it was only the egg salad that remained he happily exclaimed and started munching on it. Ignis felt his lips pull into a smile without him telling them to. He watched Noctis devour his sandwich in just a few big bites, making a mess of his face and black shirt. It was… it was funny, in a way. It made Ignis chuckle.

Though Noctis quickly fled when someone was calling his name. He threw himself into the bushes next to them, leaving Ignis and cucumbers on the marble bench. Just a few seconds later His Majesty turned up on the corridor, seemingly looking for something. Ignis followed him with his gaze, feeling his chest tighten. It usually happened whenever he saw His Majesty. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but it always happened, and it always made his throat tight too. Ignis didn’t like that either. Though as he was watching King Regis, the man suddenly looked at him, as if he could sense he was being watched. But the smile that pulled at his lips made Ignis frown. 

His Majesty then turned to walk up to Ignis. The boy blinked, his hands holding his food dropped to his lap as he was watching the man step to him.

“Ignis Scientia,” the king chuckled at him. “Alone?”

Ignis for a moment forgot everything about etiquette and greetings and how the king should be handled. He held onto his food a bit tighter. He also wondered if he should tell that Noctis was there too. But in the end he just nodded.

“May I sit with you a little?” Regis asked and already moved to sit next to Ignis on the marble bench. He sighed, and Ignis saw he noticed the cucumber on the napkin next to him. Then he looked around the garden too. He was too close, somehow. Ignis could feel his presence in a strange way, in a way he wouldn’t feel anyone else’s. He wondered if it was because of the King’s magic he had to learn about. Or because Noctis was hiding in the garden too. “Tell me Ignis, have you found anything you like in the Citadel yet?” King Regis spoke suddenly.

Ignis blinked at him. He remembered the king asking him that a long time ago. Back then Ignis said he didn’t like anything. This time, he almost wanted to answer the same. But he hesitated.

“I don’t know,” he muttered at last, looking down at the cucumbers for some reason.

“I see,” Regis smiled at him. “I didn’t forget my promise to you, Ignis,” he added, lightly patting Ignis’ shoulder. With that he stood up and walked where Noctis ran into the bushes. “Noctis, time’s up, it’s time to go back to your studies,” he told him gently.

Ignis listened as Noctis groaned, not happy either about being found or going back to study.

“Good day, Ignis,” Regis greeted him, while Noctis just looked at him for a moment, holding his father’s hand as he was being led away. Ignis, once again, forgot to say goodbye. He already heard his Uncle scolding him for not being polite to His Majesty. But he wasn’t there, was he? He took a bite out of his sandwich, his eyes finding the picked out cucumbers again. He slowly reached for a slice, to eat it. It was cool and had a light taste, which Ignis wondered if he liked it or not. Though, in the end he decided he liked cucumbers.

\--

In a few days Ignis was called by King Regis to the throne room for something very official, very important. His Uncle was escorting him until the doors of the room, but he had to go alone from then on. His Uncle just smiled at him, in a strange way Ignis hadn’t seen him before. He noticed that people usually smiled in very different ways; though he couldn’t exactly see why yet. But he figured he will learn, one day.

So Ignis stepped inside the huge throne room, looking up at the throne with King Regis and Prince Noctis standing there. The king motioned him toward the stairs. Ignis walked up to them.

And the rest was history.

King Regis asked him to be Noctis’ guide, his friend, his brother. It was the strangest sensation, because the moment he said that Ignis felt that tension in his chest amplify in the most painful, yet best ways possible. He remembered the rush, the feeling of offering his hand to Noctis, and receiving the warmest touch in exchange. Brothers, Ignis thought then and once again he felt like he was actually smiling.

Being appointed as Noctis’ retainer wasn’t one of Ignis’ first memories, but one that formed his future decisions, his way of life from then on. King Regis has been true to his promise and gave Ignis something he liked in the Citadel: a purpose. Ignis couldn’t exactly understood back then, but having someone to take care of eased some of that thick loneliness he had to carry himself ever since he was put down in a basket at a stranger’s door.

His Uncle also gratulated him on his new ‘job’ and assured him that Ignis will now spend time with Prince Noctis when it will be needed and when he seems fit. During one of these talks with his Uncle, Ignis asked him what does it mean to be a brother. What does a brother do? His Uncle just smiled at him, having a strange expression of sadness on him.

"Well, a brother is a very important task to bear," he started. "It's even more important than being an advisor, or a bodyguard, it means you're family now." 

"Like the Scientias?" Ignis asked.

"Similar, yes, but inevitably different," Casamus assured Ignis, with a touch on his shoulder. Ignis didn’t notice, but when he was thinking back about this conversation, he remembered that his Uncle had gotten sad, for sure. His gaze turned distant, his smile faltering just a bit. Not something a child would notice, not in a way an adult would.

“Where can I read about brothers?” Ignis enquired again. Casamus almost laughed, but he just smiled.

“You can ask me, or people too, Ignis. They can tell you all about how it is to have a sibling,” he explained.

“You have a sibling?” Ignis frowned, trying to search his memories about his Uncle’s relations.

“I had,” Casamus nodded. “I may tell you about him when you’re older,” he said.

Ignis pressed his lips together. Lately, he had heard this phrase a lot; ‘I’ll tell you about it when you’re older’. It wasn’t fair, he wanted to know it now. Sometimes he felt like people didn’t really want to tell him anything, and used that stupid saying as an excuse. But Ignis remembered to ask again, he will ask again.

“For the time being, you must know that Prince Noctis may also be unfamiliar with having a brother,” Casamus spoke softly. “As his friend, and guide, you can help him in that, too.”

Ignis blinked. Really. Noctis had no siblings either, he wondered. And for some reason, that made him sad. And determined. He wondered if sometimes Noctis felt that strange tension in his chest, the one that would almost make him burst out in tears? But no, Ignis shook his head, a brother’s task to make the other happy. It must be.

In the end, Casamus had handed him some picture books to bring to Noctis for reading. There really weren’t many to read there, but Casamus said that Noctis may like the colorful pictures in them.

That’s how Ignis ended up by Prince Noctis’ bed that stormy night, reading a story to him about some kind of ugly chocobo. But the prince was more interested in the pictures, just like Casamus said.

“It’s not ugly!” Noctis pouted as he was frowning at the picture of the black chocobo on the page. “‘S just has a different color!”

Ignis eyed the picture too.

“Maybe, different means ugly to some chocobos?” he tried.

“No, chocobos are nice,” Noctis pouted more, crossing his arms. Ignis frowned more. Were chocobos nice? He had no idea, he hadn't met one yet. Better check up on that, just in case. “Let’s read something else!” Noctis said. Ignis nodded, making sure to never bring up the ugly chocobo again, Noctis didn’t like it. He looked over the pile of books on the nightstand, wondering which one he should read next. He eyed the books, wondering if princes would like to read about princes, or princesses, or not ugly animals. In the end, he reached for one about a bunch of different animals deciding to take a journey through a frozen lake with the help of a spirit. It had pictures of animals, and Ignis liked the pictures of the winter mountains too. So he took that book and opened it. In that moment, lightning illuminated the room for a moment, brighter than the lamp on the bedside table. Both Noctis and Ignis looked toward the huge windows of the room.

Ignis wasn’t sure why, but he felt cold creep into his limbs at the sight of the rain and wind outside those windows. He wasn’t afraid, no. He was never afraid of anything. But storms made him feel cold and more tense than he usually felt. But after a moment of confusion he remembered that maybe Noctis was afraid of storms; with their loud noises and flashes of thunder and the loud roar of the wind. Ignis turned his gaze at the prince sitting next to him on the bed. But what he saw slightly shocked him. Not because Noctis was afraid, but because he wasn’t. He was eying the storm outside their window like it was just another book he wanted to read; curious, but not scared at all. Noctis was a shy kid, but Ignis had read about courage enough to see it when it presented. He wished he’d be just as brave as Noctis sometimes was.

“Are you ok, Iggy?” Noctis spoke then. Ignis blinked, just realizing that those blue eyes aren’t looking at the windows anymore, but at him.

“Yes,” he answered quietly.

“Are you afraid of storms?” the prince asked.

“No,” Ignis said, because he wasn’t afraid. It wasn’t fear he felt. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but it wasn’t fear. Not fear of a monster, or fear from the dark. It wasn’t fear.

“You wanna stay with me tonight?” came the question.

Ignis tilted his head a little as he was watching Noctis; with his huge blue eyes and messy black hair. So small and so strange. Something about him Ignis can’t quite grasp yet, not like with all the other people in the Citadel. Something similar to King Regis, but yet, not entirely the same sensation.

“Hm? Iggy?” Noctis asked, holding out his hand for him. Ignis frowned at the gesture, listening to the loud rumble of the storm. “Iggy…?” the voice was unsure as Ignis was still not saying or doing anything. Mostly, because he had no idea what to do. But in the end he reached for Noctis’ hand and grabbed his tiny fingers with his, just realizing he was shivering. “Are you cold?”

“No,” Ignis said. He wasn’t afraid. And he wasn’t cold. It was different. It was like not having enough air to breathe, as if something was squeezing his chest.

“I don’t wanna read anymore, let’s sleep,” Noctis said, not letting go of his hand and pulled him closer. Ignis closed the book on his lap with one hand and pushed it away as he went with Noctis. He laid down next to him, tense and unsure what to do, but Noctis didn’t let go of him. And Ignis didn’t want to either. It was strange to lay next to someone.

“We sleep now?” Ignis asked, still unsure.

“Yeah,” Noctis nodded, rolling on his side, toward Ignis, his hand still in his. If you can’t sleep I can stay up with you,” he said.

“I can sleep,” Ignis insisted. Noctis just chuckled, sleepy and cute, making Ignis’ chest loosen just a bit. But it was enough; it was enough for a deep breath, and to feel his own eyelids heavy just a bit. He smiled too, squeezing Noctis’ hand just a bit, his fingers not shivering anymore. Noctis fell asleep way before Ignis, but it was fine. Listening to his breathing, and smelling the scent of his hair, still holding onto his tiny hand all night while the storm was whistling outside, it was fine. It made Ignis wonder if this is what being a brother was; holding on and being there in the storm. Ignis decided it was. It was the night when he truly took King Regis’ request to heart; not because it was an order, or a request from the king, but it turned into something Ignis wanted to dedicate his life to. To Noctis.

\--

Ever since Ignis started to spend more time with Noctis he had learned a lot about him too. He had learned about himself too in the process. For example Noctis was the reason he actually got interested in a birthday. Which he didn’t know people supposed to have, but apparently the day people were born were special to them. And when Noctis asked him when was his birthday and what kind of cake Ignis likes he couldn’t answer. Neither to which cake, and neither if he had a birthday. Noctis insisted that if Ignis was alive, he must have a birthday, and if he doesn’t it means he wasn’t alive. For some reason that bothered Ignis to no end, because how does he know he was alive then?

It was once again an issue he brought up to his Uncle one day during table etiquette practice.

“Uncle, when’s my birthday?” Ignis asked, his legs swaying as he was sitting on a chair by the table.

“Oh, unfortunately we don’t know that,” Casamus replied, looking at the boy with a raised eyebrow. “But we registered your official birthday on February 7th, the day you were found.”

Ignis frowned unsure. But that wasn’t his real birthday then? Oh no, that still didn’t prove he was alive.

“Prince Noctis said people have birthdays to prove they are alive,” he said. “Am I not alive then?”

Casamus stopped in his tracks, looking at the kid by his side at the table. He sighed a deep one, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ignis, you’re very much alive. A birthday is just a date to mark the passage of a year in your life, you see?” he said gently. “Does it bother you? That you don’t know your real birthday?” he asked. The kid frowned that concerned frown of his, again. Lately, ever since he had been talking more with Noctis, he looked more worried than some adults, Casamus noted. But he figured it was just the new situation, and Prince Noctis was indeed a handful to handle.

“I just want to be sure I’m alive,” Ignis said then. “Because if I’m not I can’t be with Prince Noctis,” he added, looking up at his Uncle. “I want to be with him,” he said.

Casamus nodded, understanding.

“You don’t need to worry, my boy. As long as you have that heart in your chest, you’re alive,” he smiled, reaching out for him, to tousle his hair a little. But Ignis was too occupied by his words to react much. Casamus sighed, watching the little one. Only five years old, but already worried about being alive. He could see that Prince Noctis’ influence was definitely there with Ignis and it did more than Casamus could ever, to try and shape Ignis into the person he will one day become. Into a person he wouldn’t have been if he stayed in the countryside. But there were still worrisome aspects of the boy; taken that he wasn’t like the other kids. He wasn’t playing, and his sense of duty was exceptional, even better than some adults’. Casamus had seen prodigy children grow up like this, just to either fail miserable in their teens, or become unhappy and bothered adults. There were a few sitting in the Council even. And somehow, he didn’t want either of those fates to happen to Ignis. Once again, Casamus was thinking about asking for piano lessons for Ignis and once again Matrona’s words echoed inside him. Even if he knew the family was more than eager to teach piano to Ignis, ever since he was an appointed retainer to Prince Noctis.

The Scientia children were asked three times in their early lives if they wanted to learn piano. According to tradition, it should be asked at three years old, five years old, and then at last, seven years old. If they answer yes to all three times, they were taken up to their wish and started their lessons in piano.

Casamus was asked many times to due to Ignis’ exceptional talents, he should bring him to the Piano Masters and ask for lessons for him. Ignis was five already, he should have already asked the second time if he wanted to take piano lessons and yes, Casamus was still hesitating due to his promise to Matrona.

This time too, Casamus tried to get rid of that nagging thought out of his head by asking Ignis if all this birthday talk had come up because of Noctis’ upcoming birthday, which was all the talk in Citadel lately, indeed. Either the king’s or the prince’s birthday was a huge deal, taken it was a great event celebrated by the whole of Insomnia, a little breather from the looming war, a day where people can celebrate.

“So it’s not about Prince Noctis’ birthday?” Ignis asked confused as they were tidying up the table they practiced on.

“When you get older, you’ll understand,” Casamus said and once again Ignis grew annoyed. Why couldn’t they tell him. Why did adults think that keeping secrets was a good thing when he wanted to know everything, especially when it came to Noctis? This wasn’t fair. “But in the meantime, you can help making the cake for prince Noctis. I heard it was going to be a great fruit cake, with lots of cream and strawberries.”

Ignis frowned more.

“But Noctis said he likes chocolate cake,” he said. Casamus sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Ignis squinted his eyes at him. “Why can’t he have a chocolate cake?”

“It wasn’t up to him to decide,” Casamus said a little weakly. He wondered too, that why it was settled that it will be a fruit cake, but he figured it was just most people thought will make Noctis happy. Without asking him, probably.

“Is this yet another adult thing?” Ignis asked and Casamus actually could hear some anger in his voice. He almost laughed out loud, wondering since when a five year old could make him sweat like this. “Why can’t it be chocolate cake too? Who do I have to ask to make it chocolate cake?”

“You want them to change the cake?” Casamus asked, in slight disbelief.

“Yes,” Ignis nodded, stomping. “Because Noctis likes chocolate cake and not fruit cake.”

Casamus sighed, seizing the little, determined boy up. Maybe the first time he saw the passion in him, which he had no idea would develop into such a fire that would annihilate anyone in its way by the time Ignis grew older.

“Come on, let’s see what we can do about it,” Casamus nodded then, reaching for Ignis’ hand. At his greatest relief, the boy took it.

Apparently, the type of cake couldn’t be changed just because a ‘servant kid’ would request it and Casamus had no time anymore to go through the official channels of changing the plans of Prince Noctis’ birthday celebration. It ended up being a fruit cake to the dismay of Ignis. 

Ignis was so upset about Noctis not having a chocolate cake, that in the morning of the party, his first way went to the kitchen. He demanded that he wanted to make a chocolate cake. He had a recipe he found in a cookbook the night before and he has to make it before the party. Casamus wasn’t with him, so they welcomed him with confusion and questions about where his Uncle was. Ignis just told them that he was Prince Noctis retainer and he will have to make a cake  _ immediately _ . In the end Casamus was called to confirm if what Ignis said was true. It was true. So the boy actually started on a chocolate cake to the greatest amusement of the kitchen staff. Unfortunately, everyone was too busy to help him, so the boy had to do everything alone. He asked for help finding things, but he was trying to tackle the actual baking part.

The result of Ignis trying to make a cake for the first time in his life brought expected results. The kitchen staff was trying to tell that everyone fails at their first try, and that the chocolate filling actually ended up good, and if he cuts off the burned parts… All the while Ignis was staring at the horrid chocolate cake as if it was the most insulting thing he’d ever seen. It didn’t look nothing like the picture in the book he found. Though he wasn’t sure how it has to taste, but the staff told him it was fine. Was ‘fine’ good? It was sweet. It tasted like chocolate and smoke. It smelled burnt. He wondered what he should do with it, but he had other duties to attend to that day due to the party. So he did what they advised him: he cut the burnt parts and tried to make it proper shaped. When he finished, the cake ended up much smaller and with too much filling, though the shape was perfect. It kinda looked like the picture. Ignis asked the staff if they could bring it to the party for Prince Noctis. Seeing his determination, the staff assured him that the cake will be placed right at Prince Noctis’ table for him to taste.

With that handled, Ignis went on to change his clothes and tend to his lessons and servant duties, until he had to join Noctis to attend his birthday party.

“Is everything alright, Noctis?” Ignis asked as they were walking down the hallway that lead to the ballroom where the party was. Noctis was holding his hand, looking pouty. His hair was tamed, and his clothes looked terribly fancy and while they were exactly his size, they still looked big on him. He just nodded at Ignis’ question, though it was clear he was tense. When they entered the ballroom all the attention has turned toward them and Noctis gave a weak, barely audible sound from the back of his throat. Ah, so he didn’t like being in the center of attention as such.

Ignis squeezed his hand then, softly urging him on to continue walking toward his father who was waiting for them at the royal table. He was beaming and later Ignis got to know that that expression on him was pride and love. King Regis greeted them halfway and took over Noctis from Ignis. He lead him toward the royal table to give the birthday speech. Ignis was moved to the side to blend in with the other staff, as much as a five year old could do that. Though he checked if the cakes were already served. They weren’t.

King Regis had held a speech about a bright future and how fast Noctis was growing up and all the such these speeches contain. It wasn’t exactly for Noctis, but for the people around them. Ignis wondered if this is yet another adult thing. In the end Noctis was lead to his seat at the royal table, with Ignis by his side and his father on the other. Only then the cakes were served. There was one huge cake, the fruit one, and a few smaller cakes too. And somewhere amongst them were supposed to be the chocolate cake Ignis has made for Noctis.

King Regis was leaning closer to Noctis then, talking to him in a hushed voice, so quietly Ignis couldn’t hear. But in the end, Noctis giggled and he sounded more relieved. Ignis looked over them, seeing the king smile the same way Noctis did. It made him smile too. At that moment the huge, layered fruit cake was presented to their table, placed right in front of Noctis and the king. Ignis grew a little worried, because he couldn’t see the chocolate cake, but after a few minutes it was also brought over and placed next to the huge cake. Slightly out of sight from the guests, with a little card that wrote ‘for Prince Noctis only’. Ignis frowned, he didn’t write that card, why would they do that?

King Regis raised an eyebrow at the presented dessert, but Casamus hurried over quickly to fill him in. Regis smiled playfully and turned to Noctis again.

“Since it’s your birthday, shall we start with dessert then?” he asked.

“Yes!” Noctis grinned, clapping his hands excitedly and already stretched to reach for the chocolate cake. Casamus and Ignis already moved to help him. They prepared a slice and Ignis placed it in front of him with a dessert fork. For some reason, he was nervous. He knew the cake didn’t taste like it supposed to. It was sweet, but Ignis wasn’t sure if Noctis liked it at all. He watched as the little prince grabbed the fork and with the grace of a four year old, took his first bite of it. Ignis’ heart almost stopped as he saw that young face scrunching up in a grimace, but then he went for another bite even if he barely swallowed the first one. Ignis watched mesmerized as Noctis gulped down the cake as if it were made of clouds. “It tasted funny,” Noctis said and reached for the cake again. Regis chuckled and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Let your stomach to rest a little, Noctis, you can have it all, it’s all yours, no one’s going to eat it before you,” he said quietly.

Noctis huffed, but sat back on his seat, and wiped his mouth in his sleeve before Ignis could offer him a napkin. The movement, however, made the prince look at his retainer.

“You’re not gonna eat cake?” he asked.

“Ah,” Ignis started, looking around. “Yes, I will,” he nodded and moved to get a slice of the fruit cake that was put on their table. He wondered if Noctis liked the cake as he took a slice on his plate and started on it too.

“You like fruit cake?” Noctis asked. Ignis hummed, eying the creamy, strawberry topped dessert. He took a bite after a moment. It wasn’t as sweet as his chocolate cake, and it tasted like strawberries. Ignis supposed he liked it. Maybe.

“It’s tasty,” he started. “I don’t like the cream, though,” he added.

“Want some of my cake?” Noctis asked.

“No, it’s for you,” Ignis said.

“Mmm, but you can have a tiny slice if you wanna. No one else!” he pouted as if there were people crowding their table for the chocolate cake. Ignis couldn’t help his smile, shaking his head.

“It’s yours,” he repeated.

“Why’s it so small, though?” Noctis pouted, his legs swaying as he was sitting in his chair, distracted like only a four year old could be distracted.

“Next time it’ll be bigger,” his retainer promised to him.

In the end Noctis finished the cake before the party was over and fell asleep right at his seat. His Majesty insisted he carried him back to his room and kiss him goodnight. He asked Ignis to accompany him on the way back.

“I heard you made that chocolate cake, is that right?” King Regis asked as they were walking down the hallway to Noctis’ room.

“Yes, Your Highness,” Ignis nodded, looking up at the man. “They didn’t want to make it, so I did,” he added. He heard the king hum in thought.

“Thank you, Ignis,” he said quietly with a smile. “You made me and Noctis very happy with your cake.”

Ignis frowned, because the king didn’t even eat from the cake, why would he be happy for it? Though Ignis wondered once again, if that was an adult thing too?


	4. Chapter 03

Ever since Noctis’ fifth birthday, with his retainer demanding the chocolate cake made for him, and then making it himself, Ignis had become a bit infamous amongst the Citadel staff. Before that, people barely heard of him. They knew that he was that weird kid brought from the country and adopted by the Scientias, but that was all. Because it was Casamus who was taking care of him, people didn’t actually expect the boy to act up, or to be anything special. Though there were rumours already, that if he had started his piano lessons or not. Casamus was always private on this matter, not giving a clear answer, which was expected. No Scientia ever talked about the piano lessons..

Ignis has continued to surprise everyone in the Citadel. He picked up issues that were too big for a kid his age, as other people would tell him. They were issues connected to Noctis, or his well-being. There were times Ignis personally checked the prince’s weekly menu, making corrections here and there; people joked if he was going to make another cake, but Ignis was famous for not joking at all. Though this one time someone said they heard him mutter a sarcastic remark? Was that possible? No, the kid was polite, pushy, but polite. He started to be polite in a way that was almost rude, in a way where people apologized to him for things that weren’t meant to be apologized for. If the subject of Ignis was brought up with either Casamus or with the King himself, they would have just told people that Ignis apparently loved to take care of Noctis.

Ignis tried his best to take care of Noctis and this also meant that they spent a lot of time together. They started to grow up together, becoming brothers. Ignis had also aimed to be an advisor to Noctis, to aid and help him in a way King Regis wanted him to. 

Ignis also started to notice that the king has started to withdraw from the public eye more, also he had become busier through the years. It became clear when King Regis couldn’t come to see Noctis one night. On that day, Ignis had seen Noctis sad in a way that was strangely familiar, yet he had no idea why exactly. All he could do was to read Noctis’ favorite story instead of his father, until the prince had fallen asleep. 

Ignis tried to be there for Noctis, as if wanting to take on the duty of an absent father too, but of course he couldn’t. He still had work and studies on his own, so there were times he couldn’t go to Noctis. Or escort him on trips outside the Crown City. Those trips were usually done for Noctis’ education, some even suggested by Ignis himself. Noctis usually came back from those trips excited, telling Ignis what he had seen and how cool it was. That day too, Ignis was looking forward to Noctis’ stories about the fireflies they went to see. He only had seen some in the gardens, and read about them in books. But Noctis supposedly saw a whole bunch of them, so much that the whole night may have lit up.

It was a calm day, taken the king was also busy with meetings and other royal duties, the staff had a few hours of calm. Ignis still had classes during this time, but he didn’t mind. He liked to keep busy, because if he didn’t, he felt tense. And they just started on the political studies of Eos, which interested him to no end. It was already evening when he finished, and was sent back to his room. He was just crossing the main entrance hall toward the elevators, when King Regis had exited one with a few people around him, all talking in tense, hushed voices. Ignis heard Noctis’ name and it made him stop, staring at the king.

His Highness had Sir Amicitia by his side, along with the Marshal Cor Leonis, and a few Crownsguards. They were both reciting reports to him, which Regis wasn’t exactly listening to.

“I’ll go there myself, you can choose if you want to follow or not!” he snapped suddenly it made Ignis jump. His voice was scared, tense and angry. Ignis caught his gaze for a second, but the group of people didn’t stop. They exit the building and got into the cars waiting for them. Ignis stood there, in the empty entrance hall, eying the heavy door that the king disappeared behind.

What happened?

Something with Noctis? Something that made the king go there personally? Ignis quickly went through the people he knew who could help him update on what was going on. In a way that wasn’t a rumour, something that was reliable. So Ignis could ask the staff of what they overheard, but he had no patience to weed through their ‘what ifs’ right now. That’s how he ended up calling the Captain of the Kingsglaives, Titus Drautos.

“Good evening, Captain, my name’s Ignis Scientia,” he started.

“Kid, to the Six, how did you get this number?” Ignis was actually used to people react to him with surprise and annoyance. It wasn’t different in Captain Drautos’ case either.

“Tell me what happened to Prince Noctis,” Ignis demanded.

“Look I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The Captain was lying and Ignis knew that. And he had no time for lies right now.

“I saw His Majesty and his retinue drive away, they were talking about Prince Noctis who was supposed to be on a field trip with his nanny. Why would His Highness look so worried and take Sir Amicitia and Marshal Leonis with him for the only reason to take the prince back? I am Prince Noctis’ retainer, I _ need _to know if anything happened, Captain.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, one Ignis was also familiar with, where people would be unsure to indulge him or not. And he was ready to argue if they refused.

“The first intel came about fifteen minutes ago about an attack on the convoy that was escorting His Highness the Prince. Daemons have been spotted, half the convoy has been wiped out. There are no exact news on the prince’s state.”

Ignis froze on the spot, feeling like something icy and sharp stabbing at his chest. He looked down, but he wasn’t bleeding. No. It was worse.

“King Regis has insisted to go personally, taking his most trusted with him,” Drautos continued as if he would report to someone higher than Ignis’ level. “We are still waiting for further information.”

Noctis was attacked, and they didn’t know if he was alive at all? Ignis noticed how hard he was holding onto his phone when his hands started to shake.

“Thank you, Captain,” he said in a voice that was only barely trembling.

“Scientia,” Drautos spoke then, and there was something in his tone that made Ignis listen. “Have you started your piano lessons yet?”

“Piano lessons?” Ignis frowned. He actually taken up violin lessons, but not piano. What was Drautos getting at? “I don’t understand, Captain.”

“Ask your Uncle. With your potential, you may want to consider start taking the lessons as soon as possible. For the sake of Prince Noctis, too. I’ll be updating you if further news come in,” the Captain spoke then hung up. Ignis dropped his hand too, as if it was too heavy for him to hold. He's got to know what he wanted, but he wished he wouldn’t. Noctis was in danger and he wasn’t with him…

The next few hours were excruciating. Ignis kept checking his phone for any news, because he knew the Captain will indeed inform him if anything came up. So far it was confirmed that Prince Noctis has been found and he was bearing heavy injuries. The daemon attacking them were defeated, but no one of the prince’s escorts survived the attack. Ignis couldn’t help thinking about it. A daemon? Inside the Wall? That was impossible. It couldn’t just wonder inside, it was _ impossible _. But the two most possible options sounded terrifying: either the wall was too weak to keep out strong daemons, which meant King Regis is losing strength, or it was an inside job. Someone brought that demon inside.

Ignis was waiting in his room, gripping his phone all the way, waiting for news. And then, the last one came. ‘Prince Noctis has been brought back by King Regis.’ It only took Ignis a moment to think through where they could take him: the hospital wing. So he hurried out of his room too, the same time as a few maids also left their own quarters. Yes, they must have been called to assist. Ignis followed them, and they noticed, but said nothing. The staff gave up questioning Ignis’ motives long ago after all. Ignis walked with them, and took the elevator to the hospital wing. When the doors opened there was a smaller crowd standing around on the hallways, crowding around a room. Ignis knew why, and the two maids too. They hurried ahead, Ignis behind them, his heart beating fast and hard in his chest, in a way it never did before.

“Please stay outside,” one of the maids turned when they entered the room. “No one’s allowed inside for now,” she added, almost apologetic as she closed the door behind her. Ignis, for the first time in a long time, was speechless. He tried to look behind her as she closed the door, and spotted King Regis crouching over the bed placed in the room; over the bed where Noctis was lying. And there was blood.

Ignis gasped sharply, stumbling back as the meaning of all that finally reached him. Noctis wasn’t doing well. Noctis was injured. To try and calm down he went through the details again. Noctis and his escort was attacked on their way back. The Crownsguard which escorted them were all dead, along with Noctis’ nanny. Noctis was also injured. The daemon was driven away. Noctis was back at the Citadel-

“There you are, I was looking for you,” Casamus hurried to Ignis who was still standing by the door, staring at it with wide, scared eyes as he was slowly realizing what was happening. “I was looking for you in your room to bring you here…” his Uncle started a little unsure. “You knew Prince Noctis was back already?”

“Captain Drautos told me,” Ignis said, looking up at his Uncle. He felt like he was floating. Like he had no weight at all, like all this was a dream and nothing more. He wanted it to end, he wanted to wake up.

“Ignis, you can’t just ask the Kingsglaive Captain such things…” Casamus frowned.

“But I did,” the boy whispered back. “Prince Noctis is injured,” he added.

“I know, come on, let’s not block the way,” Casamus said quietly and put his hand on Ignis’ shoulder to guide him further down the hallway. None of the rooms were occupied at the moment, only the one they brought Noctis in. There were a lot of people standing around, mostly staff, but Ignis could spot the Marshal, Sir Amicitia, and Crownsguards too. Everyone looking grim and tense and it felt like, despite the lights, the whole hallway was dark. “Captain Drautos told you everything?” Casamus asked quietly once they were a bit further away.

“Yes,” Ignis nodded, looking over the door of the room where the prince and king was.

Ignis realized, that before this, he couldn’t even imagine Noctis getting hurt. Of course he sometimes fell, or hit his elbow or knee and Ignis also had to clean a few bruises on him, but this was different. This was real. This was… heavy. Ignis hated to just stand around, he hated to just wait, he hated to not know _ exactly _what happened, and what will happen. He was scared. Maybe the first time in his life, for real, he was scared for Noctis.

He heard his Uncle say something to him, but he didn’t listen. He could only listen to his own heartbeat, the way his blood was pumping in his body. He could only see the door that hid Noctis and his father, that hid the future from Ignis. What would happen if Noctis died? He was the reason Ignis liked the Citadel at all, he was the reason King Regis offered to him as a promise. Noctis made Ignis happy, Noctis was his friend, his _ brother _. How could Ignis lose him? He should have been there for him…

It took another couple of hours until the door opened, and the King walked out, looking tired and older than Ignis remembered him looking. He looked over the people assembled there and he was silent for a few moments. Then, he said that Prince Noctis will survive, however, he was very weak and will need a long time to recover. He also added he will prepare an official statement shortly. Some of the staff hurried away at that, a few stepped to King Regis to ask things. Ignis also hurried over, though he didn’t stop at King Regis, he pushed past him to go inside the room. He needed to see Noctis, he needed to see with his own eyes that he was alive, and that he was breathing. He didn’t listen to the warning sounds and people trying to call him back, he had to see the prince.

The sight of Noctis laying on that bed, with the sheets still bloody, his bandages were already soaking through, was like a punch in the gut. Ignis froze as he was looking at him, at how pale he was, at how weak he appeared, how small. Fragile. Ignis felt his throat tighten up, his shoulders tensing. Noctis almost died, he realized. He felt like he was in a dream before and looking at Noctis on the messy bed, fighting for his life was like a wake up call. A harsh one. Ignis felt like all his life before was just a long, long dream, something that wasn’t to do anything with him, that someone else was the one living it. And just now he’d gotten control of his own body, of his own emotions… He felt his arm being grabbed, and looking up he saw his Uncle looking angry as he dragged him out of the room. Ignis only then realized his eyes were full of tears that were flowing down his cheeks.

“I want to stay with him!” Ignis tried to yell, but it came out weak. He reached for his Uncle’s hand to pry it off of his arm, but the man a surprisingly strong hold on him. “I want to stay with him, I want to stay with him!” Ignis yelled over and over again as he was being dragged down the hallway.

“Not in a state like this, Ignis!” his Uncle said as he pulled him with him into the elevator. “Noctis needs to rest, and His Majesty will stay by his side tonight. Family only.”

Ignis took a breath to yell again, but something made him unable to. His throat suddenly got so tight, he couldn’t yell anymore. All he could do is heave and cry and trying to breathe. He had never felt like this before, this useless, this helpless, this distant. He wasn’t family? No, he wasn’t. But then why did they told him to be a brother to Noctis? No, this was a misunderstanding, they couldn’t understand. Noctis _ needed _ him.

When he calmed down a little, he felt that hand on his arm loosen its grip and slide on his back.

“I’m sorry Ignis, but we couldn’t stay, not tonight. I’ll check with His Highness tomorrow about Noctis’ schedule from here, and how we can-” Casamus started.

The elevator then stopped on their floor and the man gently pushed Ignis to walk with him. Ignis wiped his messy face, still feeling like crying, but he was fighting the urge. He had to ask something from his Uncle, but he couldn’t if he was crying, or he wouldn’t be listened to. He shouldn’t show any weakness.

“I want to take piano lessons,” Ignis started when he felt like he could speak without his voice shaking. As the words left his mouth, his Uncle slowed in his steps and came to a complete halt. He stopped, looking down at him with an expression Ignis had never seen before. “For Prince Noctis’ sake,” Ignis added.

Casamus pressed his lips together and his brows slowly furrowed as he was eying Ignis.

“Where did you hear about that?” he asked.

“Captain Drautos told me,” Ignis said, swallowing to try and keep his voice steady. He tried to keep the tears away. He tried to keep it all inside, otherwise they won’t take him seriously.

“Do you know at all, what does that mean?” his Uncle asked.

Ignis had no idea what it would mean. But he knew it had nothing to do with piano. It was something different. A tool that would help him be there for Noctis. Something that could maybe protect him when needed.

“I want to know what it means,” he said at last, determined and final.

Ignis was thinking back about that moment many times in his life. He remembered the face of his Uncle, the expression he was wearing as Ignis was telling him these words. How sad he looked. How guilty he looked. Back then, Ignis knew that he had gotten what he wanted. Years later, Ignis realized that making the choice of not arguing was one of the hardest his Uncle had to make for him. And years later, Ignis was still the most thankful to him for it.

\--

After the attack, there were a few days when no one was allowed to see Noctis aside from his nurses and his father. They said he was barely awake anyway, and he needed to rest a lot, and visitors would tire him out. However, on late nights, Ignis practically begged the nurse to let him see Noctis for just a few seconds. He needed to see if he was doing well, if he was getting more color into his cheeks, if he was going to ever wake up. Every time, it was painful to see him, it seemed like Noctis wasn’t getting better at all. He looked more tired day by day for some reason and Ignis realized that what he felt must have been that infamous heartbreak some books were writing about. 

Then one day, they let him accompany Noctis for breakfast. Ignis was nervous for some reason as he was carrying a tray with all the things the little prince may want to eat that morning. When the nurse opened the door for him, Ignis immediately looked at Noctis. He was awake. He was sitting in bed, looking toward the windows. His hair was messy, and there were huge, dark circles under his eyes. Ignis had to stop in his tracks to take in the shock the sight gave him. His throat tightened up again.

“Noct, good morning,” Ignis spoke and continued toward the bed that looked too big for a small child like Noctis. He placed the bed tray on the bed, and sat down on the edge, his eyes not leaving the prince at all. He wanted to talk to him, wanted to hold his hand, wanted to see something. Maybe that Noctis that left on that day to see the fireflies and wanted him to tell all about it.

But this Noctis was tired, he was sad, he was like a shadow of himself.

“Are you hungry?” Ignis asked, his voice hollow. Noctis looked at him, as if he just saw him there the first time. His small mouth opening, but then closing. He eyed the tray with the fruit, and packages and orange juice, and in the end he shook his head.

“Now, Prince Noctis, that won’t do. You need to eat to get strong again,” the nurse softly spoke from the other side of the bed. Ignis nodded, his eyes were on the prince’s face.

“‘M not hungry,” Noctis spoke then. His voice weak and rough, hoarse too. The gentle huff coming from her indicated to Ignis that this may not be the first time Noct was refusing to eat. Maybe that’s why they were allowing him to come here, to try and get him to have a few bites at least?

“Just one bite,” Ignis said then. “Just one, please, Noct.” With that he moved to cut a small piece from the pancakes, drenched it in syrup then held it up for the prince. Noctis groaned, as if looking at it would already be a pain. He raised his blue eyes at Ignis, begging, but Ignis wasn’t having any of it. If Noctis won’t eat, he won’t get better. So Ignis just held the bite closer. The prince gave up after a few minutes of silence and parted his lips to take the food. He slowly munched on it, his eyes closed as if it was difficult to chew, then swallowed. Ignis smiled at him then. “Good work, Noct,” he praised him. He wanted to dictate another bite into him, but he told Noctis that he only has to take one bite. It was something. So he put the fork down on the plate.

“Can I have another bite?” Noctis asked suddenly. Ignis blinked.

“You can have as many as you want,” he told him quietly, smiling a little. Then moved to cut another one, feeding it to Noctis.

“Another one,” the boy said, before he even swallowed the one he had in his mouth. Ignis could hear his voice shaking, and saw his eyes tear up for some reason.

“Noctis?” Ignis asked. “Is something wrong, does it hurt somewhere?” Because why else would Noctis cry so suddenly? The nurse walked closer too. Noctis just shook his head, wiping his tears with impatient movements.

“I wan’ another bite!” he said.

Ignis looked at the nurse, who seemed just as lost as he was. But in the end, he moved to feed Noctis more.

Noctis was crying all the way while he was eating, but at least he was eating. Ignis wished he could ask what was wrong, but he somehow wondered that maybe Noctis wasn’t sure about that either.

“Will you come back?” the prince asked when Ignis tidied up the tray before he was leaving.

“I’ll always come back,” Ignis told him without missing a beat. “I’ll always be with you.”

Ignis didn’t expect his words to hit Noctis as much as they did. He froze, and stared at him with wide, wide eyes, almost scared. The expression was so heartbreaking that Ignis stopped what he was doing and sat back again, waiting for Noctis to say something.

“Always?” Noctis asked.

“Always,” Ignis repeated.

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

It was the easiest oath to make in his life, Ignis wondered. The heaviest to take, but the one he would always make, the one he had never had any doubts about. And watching Noctis’ tears stop at it for even just a moment worth it all.

From then on Ignis was allowed back with Noctis, as much as he was able to. He accompanied him to breakfast and dinner mostly, and he visited him during the day as much as he could. But with his new studies he started to have less time than he had before. 

Ignis asked his Uncle to let him take piano lessons, and in just a few days after that, Ignis was taken to one of the music classrooms of the Citadel. The one that was always closed. It wrote ‘Piano room’ on the door. Entering it, it looked like any other music classroom, with two pianos occupying most of the space, with cabinets filled with sheet music and other instruments. There were three people there, all dressed as servants, and Ignis knew he had seen them around the Citadel, but couldn’t exactly recall who they were. They were standing in the room, waiting for them. Ignis was trying to ask his Uncle more about the piano lessons, but he had not gotten any answers, saying that it wasn’t his place to tell anything about them.

Ignis hurried ahead to meet those people, with many questions on his own, many demands on his own.

“Welcome, Ignis,” one of the maids greeted him with the warmest of smiles. Yet, Ignis felt like he just cut his finger. He stopped in his tracks, looking over the three people again. Two were maids, and the man appeared to be the same kind of servant as his Uncle. They all had too average features, dark hair and a pleasant expressions on their faces. Ignis had to force himself not to take a step back. “We were waiting for you.”

“Waiting for me?” Ignis asked, looking over his Uncle for a second.

“The family had planned to offer you piano lessons a long time ago, but you were not taken to us to ask the questions,” the maid continued. “The first question should have been asked when you were three.”

Ignis frowned. When he was three he was still living with Matrona in the countryside.

“Your training should have started a year ago, but we’re ready to make an exception with you, taken that we have witnessed your potential,” the servant spoke this time. “We will ask you three questions, if you answer all of them as ‘yes’, your training will begin.”

“I’m ready,” Ignis nodded, bearing himself for any kind of questions. He heard his Uncle sigh next to him, but said nothing.

“Ignis Scientia,” the other maid with a long, dark hair spoke this time. “Do you want to take piano lessons?”

Ignis, licked his lips, eying her before nodding and saying ‘yes’: Then the servant spoke.

“Ignis Scientia, do you want to take piano lessons?” he asked.

“Yes.”

Lastly, the maid who spoke to him the first asked him.

“Ignis Scientia, are you ready to take piano lessons?”

“Yes.”

The smiles that spread on those faces appeared pleasant, and yet Ignis’ stomach dropped. He felt like he walked into a room which was overly air conditioned.

“Welcome to the family, Ignis Scientia,” they greeted him with a curt bow of their heads. Ignis just watched them, afraid, but standing his ground.

“Now it’s my turn to ask questions,” he stated. “With this, will I be able to protect Prince Noctis?”

The three looked at each other for a second.

“If that’s what you desire, but these skills you’re going to learn could be used for much more,” the maid with the short hair said.

“I don’t want anything more, all I want is to protect Prince Noctis,” Ignis insisted.

“Then the first principle of the Scientias is already with you,” the maid smiled. “Our family has been the support of the royal family for hundreds of years now. While the Amicitia family’s there to protect the king and bring upon the next Shield, we’re here to provide the Sword the king may need. Or the dagger,” she snickered looking at the other two. Casamus was heard huffing.

Somehow, Ignis was satisfied with that answer. Being a sword sounded just like what he wanted. Or a dagger. For a moment, a memory of a woman with long, messy hair in old clothes came to his mind. She was holding daggers too. It wasn’t scary, but confusing.

“When will I start?” he asked.

“You’ll know everything in time,” the maid said and looked at Casamus. “Until then, our part has been done, we’ll take care of the preparations from here. If you have further questions, Casamus here will be able to answer them.”

After that they left, leaving Ignis and his Uncle in the Piano room alone. Ignis watched the door, more and more questions emerging inside him as the seconds ticked away. Then he looked at his Uncle.

Casamus looked tense, maybe annoyed as he was also looking at the door. Ignis couldn’t help but ask.

“You don’t like them?” he tilted his head curiously.

“They are part of our family,” the man answered then walked to sit down on one of the piano benches. He sighed heavily and tired, rubbing the leather bench absently. Ignis had never seen him like this before. “What you’ll have to know from here is… you’re officially of legal age as from now on. You don’t need a guardian to attend with you if you need to do something. This is very important,” he spoke, straightening his back. “Your lessons will start here in this room, and they will let you know when. You can’t talk about anyone about the lessons and they will know if you do. The punishment doesn’t worth it, believe me.”

Ignis listened to his Uncle, tense and curious. But the way he was telling these things, that rough, deep ring to his voice bothered him.

“Did you take piano lessons, Uncle?” he asked.

“I chose not to,” Casamus answered, his gaze finally raised at Ignis. “I answered yes the first two times, but I couldn’t at the last one. I preferred to serve the royal family as a servant.”

“Why?”

Casamus didn’t answer. He sighed, and it was clear he was wondering what he should say.

“When you’re older…” he started, but hearing that Ignis stomped his leg.

“You just said I’m an adult from now on,” he insisted. Casamus looked at him surprised. “If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t. But don’t tell me that I’m not old enough.”

“I see, I apologize,” the man smiled a little, looking away. “I suppose, I could tell you now,” he mused, but didn’t speak after it. Ignis patiently waited for his Uncle to speak. He didn’t urge him and insisted on, he was just waiting. “The reason I said no the last time was because I was angry, Ignis.”

Casamus motioned next to him on the bench for Ignis to sit. The boy moved to find his seat next to him without a word.

“I was angry at them for letting my brother die,” Casamus continued. “You know, all Scientia children are asked the same three questions before they turn nine. Those who say yes all three times, they start their piano lessons, those who aren’t are continuing to serve the royal family in servitude. My brother was older than me so he was asked way before I even got my third question. He was young and inexperienced, and they sent him on a mission. I do not know what the mission was, or what happened. All I know that I received an official letter from the family, that he died during the mission. He was only seventeen, Ignis.”

It was shocking to hear such things from his always calm Uncle. Now that Ignis knew how it was to almost lose a brother, he didn’t want to imagine how it was to really lose one. It was as if Noctis would have left, and only a letter came at his place, saying that he’s no more. Ignis felt his whole body go cold at the thought, his eyes intense on Casamus next to him.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“The Scientias are powerful, Ignis, and I see why would you want to wield what they can offer,” his Uncle started. “I suppose you didn’t really have a choice here. Matrona knew that, I knew it too, we just didn’t want to believe it,” he mused, and Ignis had a feeling it was mostly to himself. “Think about the prince, you’re here for the prince and not for the family.”

_ Think about the prince and not the family _.

“They said the Scientias are serving the royal family,” Ignis tried quietly.

“Our code is that, yes. But many things can be done in the name of serving the royal family,” Casamus nodded. “You’ll learn, Ignis. You’ll learn everything and you’ll be able to make your own decisions, as you just did. Just don’t forget why you’re here.”

Ignis sighed, looking down at his lap. He could never. He could never forget why he chose these lessons, why he chose to step deeper into the family.

“I won’t,” he nodded, determined.

\--

“Regis, a word?” Clarus asked quietly when the Council meeting ended.

“You know I always have more than one word for you, my friend,” Regis smiled as he leaned back in his chair a bit tired, as if he had just finished a battle. And in a way, he did. He looked at his friend and Shield. “What is it that concerns you?”

“The Scientia kid,” Clarus started with a heavy sigh.

“Oh, yes. Him,” the king sighed too. “I heard he started his piano lessons after all.”

“That's exactly what I’m worried about, Regis,” Clarus said looking over the door of the meeting room, as if someone would listen. “He’s too much like... “ he started, but the cut himself off. “I’m worried, to be honest. The Scientias are cruel and that kid, he’s alone, no matter how talented he is.”

The King hummed in agreement.

“With him being this close to the Prince, it may be the best if he won’t end up off track, or like those Scientia monsters, Regis,” his friend continued. Regis then raised his eyebrow, looking at him.

“I suppose you already have a plan here,” he started.

“Not exactly a plan, but- let’s call it a counter measure,” the Shield sighed, smiling a little.

“What had Gladiolus done to deserve such punishment?” the king asked amused. Clarus huffed, shaking his head.

“So you were thinking about it already,” he muttered, looking up at his king.

“Of course I did. I saw both of those children grow up- they are so different. I admit I’m curious what would come out of pushing them together a bit more,” Regis smiled.

“It might be a bad idea,” Clarus warned.

“I always loved bad ideas,” the king smiled, but then his expression turned a bit more serious. “We’ll leave to Tenebrae in a few days, is there any news about the Empire?”

“I’m still saying it’s suicide,” Clarus said.

“Is there any news about the Empire?” Regis repeated quietly. His friend sighed, nodding and updated him about the latest movements of Niflheim.


	5. Chapter 04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignis and Gladio climb a tree, or not really.

The only person who could calm Ignis about not being allowed to escort Noctis and the King to Tenebrae was the king himself. He told him it will be safer with less people traveling and he is needed more in the Citadel. Ignis had no idea why His Highness would say that, because he was the most needed with Noctis and no one else. But he couldn’t go against the king, no matter how angry he felt about the decision. The royal trip to Tenebrae was for Noctis’ healing. He was still weak, he could barely walk, and the Nox Fleurets offered their help. Lady Lunafreya was an oracle who could heal people of the scourge too, and she also could offer aid in Noctis’ injuries. Ignis wondered if it’s not just physical help, but something more too.

Either way, it still left him a bit aimless once the family left, despite the fact that he had enough to fill his days. It felt a bit like when he had come to the Citadel, and the only thing that got him through the day was his duties, just to arrive by the night…

He was sitting outside the Citadel gardens, the big one, where trees could grow big and old, where one could feel they were walking in a proper forest, just to arrive to a fence when they would think about having an adventure. Though Ignis didn’t want to have an adventure, he was sitting on a clearing, with a few books on the table, taking notes for studying. He had a few hours to catch up on his studies after all and this was the quietest place to do it quickly. He wasn’t in his best moods, mostly because a day ago he had to say goodbye to Noctis just after he promised to him that he will be by his side always. Ignis hated that he had to let Noctis go ‘alone’. The look on the boy’s face was a picture he saw in his dreams. His current piano teacher told him to channel that anger into his studies and one day he can use this anger for good. What kind of… bullshit was that? Ignis started to get real angry about many things lately. Especially things that concerned Noctis.

So Ignis wasn’t in his best moods as he was scribbling down highlights into his notebook, but his mind was on Noctis; if he wasn’t afraid, if he wasn’t in pain, if he had everything he needed… Suddenly, the table moved for a moment, as if someone bumped into it. Ignis froze, because the first thing they taught him on his piano lessons is to always be aware of his surroundings, and the only surprises that could occur was by him. So he looked up to see what happened, just to watch as Sir Amicitia’s son pull out a chair opposite of his and sit down. Ignis narrowed his eyes.

They have met once or twice before, and Ignis had seen this brute in the Citadel a few times; loud and obnoxious and worse in throwing tantrums than Noctis. When Noctis turned six years old, Gladiolus Amicitia was introduced to him as his future bodyguard, similar to what Sir Amicitia was to King Regis. That has been four years ago and the more Ignis got to know the boy, the more he decided he didn’t like him. It also didn’t help that apparently the Scientia family wasn’t entirely too fond of the Shields either. What Ignis gathered in the short time he had been taking the lessons is that the Amicitias were too careful to really do any good work for His Majesty.

“Good morning,” Ignis greeted Gladiolus, because he was raised to be polite. Then turned back to his notes. They had met a few times, but there were always others around them, it was always mostly about Noctis, or some other event. This time too, Gladiolus must be waiting for someone.

“Before he left, dad told me to come play with you,” Gladiolus started then. Ignis raised his head at him, frowning. First of all, rude? Second of all, play? He never played, only with Noctis and that was different. In all his other time Ignis was usually studying or attending a class. He had no time to play, and he didn’t want to anyway.

He looked around, searching for Sir Amicitia, but he remembered that Sir Amicitia was with His Highness and Noctis. So Ignis raised his suspicious glare at Gladiolus. The boy sat on that chair as if he thought he owned it, and all the garden around him, all the world around him. It was a different kind of ego than Noctis was developing, the more reprehensible kind. He was wearing a black uniform of some kind, probably a school’s. Ignis made a mental note to look after which school exactly.

“I don’t play,” Ignis said simply then.

“Yeah, told him too, but he said I either come play with you, or I have to clean the entire house alone,” Gladiolus grumbled. Ignis couldn’t help but feel annoyance over this. What was Sir Amicitia thinking, was he trying to patronize him or what?

“Tell your father we played and leave me alone,” he muttered.

The silence was satisfying and Ignis thought he could stop any kind of further interaction with the kid.

“I’m not gonna lie to my dad because of a nerd like you,” Gladiolus snapped suddenly. Ignis looked up at him, mirroring his angry glare.

Apparently neither of them was going to budge, it was clear from the way Ignis held onto his pen tighter and from the way Gladiolus crossed his arms in front of his chest. They looked at each other, eying and measuring the other. Ignis could see a few of his father’s features in the boy, but most probably resembled more of his mother who Ignis had never seen. 

“Then go clean,” he hissed. He remained motionless as Gladiolus jumped from his seat, mostly with the idea to intimidate him with his size. That was how he worked, as Ignis noticed. He wasn’t exactly doing it purposefully, but it was something Gladiolus felt it could work with others. Not with Ignis, who was intimidating adults way before he met this whiny kid with a temper. So he remained seated, watching the guy puff himself up in anger.

“Or I could kick your ass!” Gladiolus yelled when he saw his little presentation of size didn’t phase Ignis.

“I’ll see you try,” Ignis straightened his back. Though if he had to be completely honest with himself Gladiolus could indeed kick his ass. He could beat him into a pulp, that was for sure and that fact pissed Ignis off more than the annoyance he felt over this idiot.

Gladiolus leaned in, glaring and playing the waiting game. Which was good, because Ignis at least could beat him in that, and he was sure of it.

“Whatcha readin’?” Gladiolus grumbled as he reached for a random book in the pile on the table. Ignis watched as he took the only book he would read for fun if he ever had time for it. It sounded interesting, and Ignis always carried it with himself that one day he could read it, but he never had time to go further than the first few chapters.

“It’s called a book,” Ignis snarked. Gladiolus pursed his lips probably in pure anger again as he opened the book and read a few lines. “I bet you couldn’t read it even if you tried.”

Ignis had no idea why he was poking the beast here, but he did. He did without thinking about the consequences. He was sure that Gladiolus would throw the book away just to use his fists to mess him up, but instead the guy shut the book close, looking at Ignis.

“I bet you couldn’t climb that tree if you tried,” he said, pointing at the tree nearby them, one of the oldest in the garden, covered by ivy. Ignis huffed, looking at it.

“Why would I want to climb it at all?” he snorted.

“I’ll read this shit if you climb that tree, that’s why,” Gladiolus smirked. Ignis blinked at him, offended. Did he think he can’t climb a tree?! How hard could that be?! “Or are you afraid?”

“I’m not,” Ignis said slamming his pen down and standing from his seat. He had never climbed a tree in his life, but he knew how to do that. As if it could compare to reading a book. He walked to the old tree, and looked up at it; it was huge and tall.

“You have to climb to the top!” Gladiolus snickered. Ignis sent him a glare, because he knew he had to climb to the top! He looked at the tree again then walked around it, checking the best possible way to do it. It was a tall oak, its lowest branches were already too far to reach even for an adult person. But the ivy could be used to climb up to grab a branch. Ignis came up with a plan to get to the branch he wanted, and from then on, he would have a way up to the top. So without any further ado, he went for it. He grabbed at the ivy and tried to pull himself up on it. But the plant was prying off the trunk and it made him stumble back. Ignis heard Gladiolus chuckle from behind him. He looked at the part of the ivy that was still in his hand, dirtying his palm and the sleeves of his dress shirt. So Ignis threw it away, unbuttoned his sleeves to roll them up. Then he tried again.

Ignis yanked at the ivy whenever he tried to climb it, checking if the plant was strong enough to hold him until the time he could grab onto another one. He was aware that all this time Gladiolus was laughing at him like he was some kind of idiot. But he will show him. After a few unsuccessful attempts, Ignis could find a part of the ivy that was more securely crawling on the trunk, he used it to climb up to the branch he could reach. With shaking arms he pulled himself up on the branch, ignoring the cracking sounds as he put his weight on it. Ignis knelt up on the branch, looking for the next one to reach. The ivy was scarce at this height so he could only rely on branches from here.

As he grabbed the trunk again, and attempted to stand up, he looked down and realized how high he climbed. His knees where shivering, along with his arms. But he told Gladiolus he will climb this tree, so he will. Ignis swallowed to wet his dry throat he got from breathing hard and turned his head up. He reached for a branch and pulled himself up, but it took him some time. He knew he was in good condition, but apparently his arms weren’t strong enough to pull his own weight up, but he tried. Ignis grit his teeth and put all his strength into climbing. It started to hurt a lot, and his body didn’t want to stop shaking and he still kept going.

Ignis kept going, toward the top but it seemed like it was getting further away somehow. He groaned in frustration and reached for a branch, but it slipped from his grip, or more like, his hand had no strength to hold on anymore. He slipped. His shoes weren’t exactly the best to climb a tree either so he started falling. Leaves and smaller branches slapped at him, he felt his glasses slip and multiple branches hit him as he was falling, and no matter how much he was trying to grab onto anything, everything was slipping from his grip. Then he heard Gladiolus shout something, but he couldn’t make it out because of the ringing in his ear.

When he reached the ground, Ignis thought that he fell onto branches again. But the pained groan next to him indicated otherwise.

“What kind of a stupid idiot are ya?!” Gladiolus roared next to him as he pushed him out of his arms. Ignis crawled away a little, all his body hurting, and full of scratches and forming bruises. He quickly assessed if he didn’t break anything, then turned his head toward Gladiolus, squinting his eyes at him. It was difficult to see him without his glasses which must have landed somewhere around them too.

“You’re the idiot for trying to catch me,” Ignis panted.

“You were falling!” Gladiolus retorted. “Are you- what the fuck are you doing!?” he yelled when Ignis stumbled on his feet again and went back to the tree.

“I’ll climb it,” Ignis insisted stubbornly and grabbed at the ivy again, but Gladiolus yanked him back.

“You won’t!” he shouted as he pushed Ignis away from the tree. “I’ll read the stupid book, arright?”

“But I haven’t-” Ignis started a bit confused.

“Fuck that!” Gladiolus grumbled, kicking at the ground as if he was embarrassed or something. Then he looked at Ignis again, eying his clothes and probably the scratches he’d gotten from his fall. “You didn’t scream.”

“What?” Ignis asked, as he was assessing the tears in his shirt and shorts. He was bleeding at several places too. 

“You didn’t scream,” Gladiolus repeated as he was rubbing his forearm. “If there was no one here, no one could’ve heard you.”

“So?”

“So if you fall and can’t get up you die!” 

“I could get up.”

“That’s not my point- Augh, you’re such a weirdo!” Gladiolus shook his head in frustration and stomped to Ignis. He grabbed at his arm. “Come on, let’s go to the nurse room!” Ignis stepped back, pulling his arm away.

“I lost my glasses,” he said before he looked around a little lost.

“Don’t you have a spare?” Gladiolus asked. “Use that to come back for this one, now come on!” he grabbed at Ignis’ wrist again as he pulled him after himself. Ignis tried to shake his arm out of Gladiolus’ grip, but he had no strength left in his limbs, and that was terribly annoying. He huffed at the books and notes he was leaving behind on the table as Gladiolus was dragging him.

“We’ll have to come back for my books!” Ignis warned.

“We will, there’s the book I need to read anyway!” the other barked back. “Now come on!”

Gladiolus brought Ignis to the nurse’s room, who wasn’t in. There was a phone number on the table that in case of emergency they should call that. But Both Gladiolus and Ignis seemed to be familiar with the room’s contents. Ignis was because he had to due to Noctis, and Gladiolus because… well, he probably had his reasons, Ignis thought. As he was looking for the antiseptic he glanced at Gladiolus too who was rubbing his forearm.

“Does it hurt?” Ignis asked. The boy looked at him and shook his head. “Why are you lying?”

“I’m not lying it doesn’t hurt!” Gladiolus snapped and went to randomly open a cabinet to see through its contents.

“You were trying to catch me as I fell, it must have felt like running into a wall,” Ignis insisted.

“I’m strong, I can handle running into a wall! And you’re scrawny, you weight like a feather, nerd,” Gladiolus ranted as he slammed the cabinet shut. Ignis huffed and stepped to the stupid boy and held out his hand for him.

“Show me!” he demanded.

“Fuck you,” Gladiolus retorted.

“Show me!” Ignis stomped. The other glared at him and stuck his arm out to him, wincing a little. Ignis took the limb and pushed up the sleeves of Gladiolus’ hoodie to touch his forearm. Nothing was visible on the the skin so Ignis held it and examined it as he learned before. “It’s not broken, but I think you should rest it a few days.”

“It’ll be fine!” Gladiolus huffed pulling, back, but it was clear that he was relieved. “What about you, are you okay?”

Ignis looked over himself again, noting his scratches and bruises and the state of his shirt. He sighed, nodding. Though his knees were shivering and his arms felt too weak for his liking. He wasn’t sure he could hold a pen at this rate.

“You should stretch,” Gladiolus said then. “So it’ll hurt you less later.”

“Stretch?” Ignis frowned.

“Yeah, like…” the boy started and held his arm that wasn’t hurt above the elbow and pulled it toward his chest, with his arm straight. “This gonna stretch your shoulders.”

Ignis repeated the movement on both arms, frowning a bit at the pain, but at the release it bought. Gladiolus then showed him how to stretch more his arms and legs, and it surely was hard, but it relaxed his muscles, which felt good. But after it, Ignis was overcome this kind of fatigue, that he didn’t feel before. He rubbed his eyes and sat down on the bed, with a tired sigh. He wasn’t shaking anymore, but he felt heavy. He only just realized he was kind of shocked from the fall. 

“Are you okay?” Gladiolus asked, and Ignis could just nod. “Do you wanna rest?”

“I have to study,” Ignis said.

“You’re smart, you can study later. You lay down there I get your books,” the other said and he was already out of the room, leaving Ignis alone.

It was a strange feeling. Suddenly everything went too quiet. Ignis sighed heavily again, feeling his body ache from the hits of the branches, and his heart felt heavy from something too. He didn’t know what happened. Why did he suddenly feel this way? The fall hurt, yes, but it wasn’t that bad. He looked over to the door if Gladiolus was back already, but he just left, of course he wasn’t back. Ignis didn’t even get why he wanted the guy back anyway, he was big and loud and he didn’t like him.

In the end, Ignis laid down on the bed to just rest a little while he was waiting for Gladiolus to come back. What he didn’t expect, however, is to fall asleep right when his head hit the pillow. It felt like a moment, a deep moment, when he jerked awake, gasping for air. His body felt heavy, and he felt a headache coming. He opened his eyes, just to spot Gladiolus sitting by the bed on a chair, reading the book. There were books stacked on the nurse’s desk too, probably all of his textbooks. On the bedside table, Ignis spotted something shiny that could be his glasses. He pushed himself up on one elbow and reached for it, but as he grabbed it the thing basically fell apart.

“Yeah it… broke,” Gladiolus spoke quietly. Ignis closed his eyes for a second, wondering how to explain this to his Uncle. With a soft groan, he sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. He felt hungry, thirsty, cranky. Stupid Gladiolus and that stupid tree. He needed more strength on him, it was sure now.

“Thank you,” Ignis started as he put his feet down the floor, testing it. Alright, he could walk, even if he felt a little faint. Gladiolus just frowned at him, but said nothing as Ignis was going to collect his books and attempted to leave.

“Hey, you don’t need this?” he started when Ignis was almost out of the door. Ignis looked over his shoulder, squinting at him. Ah, the book.

“You read it, I most probably won’t have time for it for a while,” he said at last.

“But it’s interesting, this dude’s a weapon master, he’s like can hold heavy weapons in both of his hands,” Gladiolus started. Ignis pursed his lips. Yes, he knew the protagonist was cool, and the excerpt of the story seemed interesting too. But he won’t have time to read it.

“I know,” he said and turned to leave without any further word. Somehow he didn’t want to be alone before, but now he did. Then he heard heavy steps behind him, catching up to him.

“Are ya busy tomorrow too?”

“I don’t play, Gladiolus.”

“I just wanna tell you what was in the book!” Gladiolus snapped. “Or I dunno I could read it to you, whatever.”

Ignis grumbled as he sent a look at the boy.

“I’ll be in the garden tomorrow the same time too,” he offered. It was only a few days until His Majesty returns with Sir Amicitia and Noctis, so until then Ignis could spend time with the younger Amicitia for both of their sakes he guessed.

When Ignis told his Uncle that he was trying to climb a tree and that’s when he messed up his clothes and broke his glasses the reaction was kind of unexpected. Instead of scolding, his Uncle chuckled at him, asking him how high he could get. Ignis grudgingly told him that he could only get to the lower branches. Casamus said that maybe next time he’ll be able to reach higher. Ignis told him that he’ll climb to the top one day.

The next day, they met up with Gladiolus again the same time. While Ignis was trying to make some notes, Gladiolus told a part of the story he had read the night before. It was impressive how fast he was going with the book. In the few days that His Majesty and the rest were away Gladiolus had finished the book and demanded more from Ignis. Who sent him to the Citadel’s library, a little bit grudgingly. Because he wanted to read too, he just had no time. Especially now that he asked his current piano teacher to arrange more workout sessions for him, or he himself will.

When Noctis had returned from Tenebrae shocked, but much more healthy, Ignis even had less time for Gladiolus.


	6. Chapter 05

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noctis escapes.

At their breakfast table, Ignis watched Noctis as he refuses to look up from the notebook he had brought back from Tenebrae, instead of eating. His little face was wearing a different kind of frown than he had before he left. Now he also had more color in his cheeks, more light in his eyes, more life in him, and a kind of determination. But that also meant that he was also suffering more. Ignis had heard him ask many times if it was his fault, that Tenebrae was attacked, and if Luna was taken? Was it his fault? Is it because he’s going to be the King of Light? Ignis has had to read the reports on what happened that day, and he hated he couldn’t be there. It sounded very dangerous and Noctis almost died for the second time. King Regis’ strength was what could save them then…

But Ignis couldn’t help feeling glad. Noctis had more strength in his body, he could walk and the scarring on his body faded, even if just a little, it still did. Ignis wondered when will the memories fade with it. As he was wondering about that, Noctis grabbed a coloring pen from the pile and started doodling on the empty page of the notebook. He first wrote ‘Things I miss’ and attempted a list. He wrote ‘Luna’ at the first row, drawing a flower next to it. Then he took a different colored pen and doodled something. Ignis frowned at the picture, not being able to decide what it could be.

“We ate this cake…” Noctis started then, looking up at Ignis. “Luna didn’t know what it was called either, but it was tasty.”

“Cake?” Ignis asked.

“Yeah, it looked like this,” the prince pointed at the doodle he made, and Ignis sighed. He loved Noctis with all his heart, but he had no talent in drawing at all. Ignis had a hard time imagining how that cake must have looked like. “It tasted sweet.”

“Was there… anything else to it? Was it fruity?”

“Mmm, I guess…” Noctis frowned. Ignis sighed, looking at the lump of lines on the page. “I wanna eat it again,” he said.

“I’ll ask the kitchen if they could make it,” Ignis assured, patting Noctis’ shoulder.

“Today?” the prince looked up at him, hopeful. His advisor blinked a little lost. The kitchen had let him down before, and he wasn’t sure if they could whip up this cake just by telling them it looked like this and it was sweet. But maybe they had some ideas? So Ignis nodded, and felt warmth spread in his chest as he watched Noctis smile.

“I’ll bring it to you after dinner,” Ignis said.

“Will you stay the night?” Noctis asked then, coloring some of his doodles.

“Yes,” his retainer said without hesitation. Ever since Noctis had come back, he demanded Ignis to stay with him during the nights. Most of the time, Noctis would just clung to him until he fell asleep. But sometimes he would wake up crying and calling for his dad who, of course, wasn’t there. It made Noctis cry harder. Sometimes so much that Ignis asked the guard on duty to try and get His Majesty awake. His Highness could always come, and he could always calm Noctis in a way Ignis could never. His words were the same Ignis would tell Noctis, and yet, the prince heard them more. One time Ignis brought this issue up with his Uncle, who told him that sometimes it’s not about the words, but the people who say them.

“Everyone has someone they call for help when they wake from a nightmare, Ignis,” Casamus mentioned. Ignis looked at him, a bit unsure. Everyone? He wondered.

This was one of those things. Those things that ‘everyone’ had. Like a birthday. A real one and not a made up one. Everyone had someone to call in the middle of the night? Ignis remembered his nightmares. He slept little, because he always had something to study. But when he had a nightmare, or if there was a storm outside he woke up too, yes. But his throat was always tight, there was no shouting, no words, no tears. Just silence and the voices inside his head, or the raging storm outside. There was no one called. No one alerted, but himself. He knew he could call for his uncle or the guard on duty, but he never did, for some reason. When it came to it, it never really occurred to him. So he was just waiting until he could go back to sleep, or until he had to get up to busy his mind with something. Though, it never happened while with Noctis. Ignis slept the most peaceful when he could be near him.

That day, when Ignis had a little time he went by the kitchen and asked them if anyone knew a cake from Tenebrae that looked like… that. Ignis held up the scribble he made off Noctis’ drawing. The kitchen staff frowned at it a little helpless. Someone suggested it could look like a custard tart? Some agreed. Ignis pursed his lips, wondering if it was that. He asked if they could make a few for Noctis with his dinner. They agreed to change out the dessert then.

Though, when Noctis was presented with the pastry that evening he frowned at it. Ignis accompanied him to dinner this time, because his father couldn’t make it once again.

“Where’s the cake?” Noctis asked. Ignis so knew this will happen.

“This should be it,” he offered one of the tarts. Noctis pursed his lips and took the pastry biting into it.

“It was sweeter.”

“Sweeter,” Ignis repeated.

“It was softer, too,” Noctis swallowed the bite then went to eat it all. Ignis watched him leave the remaining vegetables on his plate and swallow down two more of the pastries.

“Sweeter and softer. Did it look like this at all?” he asked, eying the one remaining tart on the plate.

“Something like this,” Noctis shrugged. His retainer just sighed, looking at the pastry.

Noctis said he liked this too, but this wasn’t like the one he had eaten in Tenebrae. Ignis made a mental note to research sweets from Tenebrae, maybe he’ll find the right one Noctis was eating.

From then on Ignis was more frequent in the kitchen, and insisted on making the pastries whenever he would have time. He hadn’t found the exact recipe, but he had a few ideas to present for Noctis when he had the time. Ignis also tried to time these desserts when the prince had a bad day, or if his health seemed to be relapsing. The doctors said Noctis will have a bad back, but the pain could be handled if he strengthens it. Ignis also found that massage could ease the pain when it would occur. There were times when he would spend hours kneading away at Noctis’ muscles, even in the middle of the night. But he was scheduled for training from then on.

Ignis thought that there will be a trainer assigned to Noctis and he actually had a few names on his list to present for the Council who would decide about the physical training of the prince. But when the meeting ended and Ignis got the news who will be with Noctis he was utterly surprised. He did his research, in depth and he knew that the names he proposed would have been perfect for Noctis. And yet, the Council chose to appoint the younger Amicitia as a training guide. It was unheard of; he was only a few years older than him, how could he know what a child with a bad back need? Ignis almost barged into that Council meeting room and demanded he himself would train Noctis if necessary.

Though, after the first rush of anger, Ignis actually went and did his research on Gladiolus Amicitia. Yes, they had met, and it was very memorable in a way, but Ignis didn’t know him as well as he wanted to.

Gladiolus was only a year older than him, but apparently he started his training when he was six. He went to kindergarten, due to his mother has not been around to care for him. He had a little sister, who was only four. All the information was somehow very normal. Though Ignis had a lot of respect for Sir Amicitia, and mostly due to that, he had faith in Gladiolus’ skills to train Noctis. He was also often thought about their stupid bet from the time Noctis was in Tenebrae. Gladiolus had read the book, but Ignis couldn’t climb that tree. Not yet. And that thought had eating at him from time to time.

The day when Noctis’ training would start, he didn’t have a good sleep. Ignis was called into his room during the middle of the night, because the child was hurting again. And His Majesty was away on official business. No one could calm him and Ignis took hours to at least get him to sleep. It was an understatement that Noctis was cranky that morning. He was holding Ignis’ hand, walking like a living corpse next to him as his retainer was leading him toward the training room, wondering how it will go at all.

“You’re late!” Gladiolus shouted as they entered the room. Noctis stumbled to a halt, holding onto Ignis’ hand tighter as he looked up at the boy shouting at them. They knew each other from before, but never really talked much. Apparently that was about to change, but Ignis was afraid what kind of start this will be at all.

“Official business,” Ignis spoke then, trying to ease at least some of the tension that was radiating from the Amicitia. He just started to learn how to read people. He always had an eye noticing if something was off or wrong, but this time he could decode the signs he was receiving. And Gladiolus’ body language was speaking volumes. He was standing there, with his back straight, arms crossed over his chest, and his lips tight from tension. He was bigger than all the other kids the same age, dark and menacing in a way; lesser people would have been intimidated, but not Ignis. Though he wasn’t sure Noctis wasn’t either.

“Whatever, it’s disrespectful,” Gladiolus said as he was walking closer. Ignis felt Noctis move closer to him, and maybe a bit behind him.

“He had a long night,” Ignis started when Gladiolus reached them. “I believe it’d be best to start easy for today.”

“Oh yeah?” the other boy frowned, tilting his head as he was eying Ignis for a moment. Then he pointed toward Noctis with his chin. “Then why can’t he tell that to me himself, huh?”

Ignis had hopes for Gladiolus, he had something deep inside his guts telling him that he was a good person. Someone who would be good for Noctis, but the way he was speaking now buried all those hopes deep inside him, and remembered the anger he felt for this loud and obnoxious guy.

“Did you ask him at all?” Ignis asked. Gladiolus flickered his gaze at him.

“I had no chance, cuz his nanny was doing all the talking for him,” he spit back. Ignis never had an urge to hit someone more than in that moment. How could anyone think Gladiolus would be fit for this? He will have to talk to the Council at this rate.

“Don’t talk to Iggy like that!” Noctis yelled suddenly, his voice shaking. He took a step toward Gladiolus, but he was still holding onto Ignis’ hand.

“‘Iggy’?” Gladiolus snorted, frowning down at Noctis. He rubbed his face for a moment then put his hands on his hips as he leaned a bit down to Noctis’ level. “So what, you had a rough night just like ‘Iggy’ said?”

Ignis watched as Noctis pursed his lips, and glaring at Gladiolus, wondering at his answer. Then he just nodded.

“But it’s not night anymore, you still have it rough?”

“No,” Noctis muttered.

“Right, because you’re a prince, a bad night can’t stop you, can it?” Gladiolus asked.

“No,” the prince said and let go of Ignis’ hand.

“Right, now go and get changed.”

Noctis sighed and looked up at Ignis for a moment, before he would take his bag from him and hurry towards the changing room. Ignis watched him go, then looked at Gladiolus.

“You do know why he needs this training, right?” he asked. The other boy nodded, rubbing his neck as he turned back to Ignis too.

“Back injury, yeah. Don’t worry I did some research on it, it’ll be fine,” he said.

“I can also submit some of my own research to you, maybe you could use it,” Ignis started. Gladiolus, just shrugged nodding. Though Ignis had to admit he wouldn’t have taken Gladiolus for the researching type. “Thank you, then I’ll be going.”

“What? You’re not gonna stay?” Gladiolus asked then.

“I also have lessons at this time,” Ignis said.

“What lessons?”

“Piano lessons.”

“Ahh, they don’t teach you climb trees there,” Gladiolus snickered. Ignis just pressed his lips together to cut back any kind of retort he would have. He had nothing. He lost that bet. But he knew that one day, he’ll climb that damn tree. “So playing the piano would help Prince Noctis? Like, now you can play him lullabies and shit?”

Ignis didn’t answer to the teasing, just looked over the changing rooms for a moment. He hoped Noctis will be fine with Gladiolus.

“See you tomorrow, same time,” he told Gladiolus then and left.

They didn’t teach Ignis how to climb trees. But they taught him how to ask if anyone else is a Scientia. How to ask if someone also had piano lessons. They taught him the history of the Scientia family, from the time they first started to serve the Lucis Caelums. Ignis was taught hidden history, names that would never be out in the light; deeds that no one knew happened, yet they stirred the course of history; he was learning about spies and assassins, who would do all kinds of things for their kings and queens. The Amicitias were always there with the Lucis Caelums, longer than the Scientias, but Ignis recognized a kind of arrogance his teachers were talking about them. The noble Amicitias, the ones who would be stubborn as a Behemoth, but too stupid. Every time the Amicitias were mentioned, Ignis was thinking about Sir Clarus Amicitia and his son, Gladiolus. They didn’t seem blind at all, not in the way his teachers would talk about that family. Though he had to admit he saw some of the flaws mentioned in Gladiolus. 

His lessons taught Ignis to look out, don’t trust anyone, especially not in an Amicitia. They are too kind and kindness may become a luxury if the war picks up again. Ignis always felt a bit strange about these opinions, especially that his Uncle didn’t seem to share them. He would always say that King Regis would have a hard time without Sir Amicitia by his side, and that he shouldn’t listen to everything the piano teachers are telling him.

It was a strange feeling; having people tell Ignis not to trust the others. Pointing at each other. What was he supposed to believe then? Who he was to trust? He decided that the best way to maneuver is to only count on himself, especially when it comes to Noctis. People tended to only look at their own needs, ignoring the rest. Which was fine, because Ignis will make sure that everyone in the Citadel first think about what Noctis would want before they would try anything.

\--

Noctis and Gladiolus didn’t start out well, but Ignis actually didn’t expect them to get worse. It was due to Noctis being pretty reluctant about his training and Gladiolus not having the patience for him. There were times Noctis would tell Ignis he doesn’t want to go, and Ignis sometimes could tell him to skip practice, but not always. Ignis knew that the training was useful for Noctis, and it was a good preparation for his later classes in sword wielding and warping. He needed to get stronger and more agile for that.

He also wished in a way that Noctis would get at least friendly with Gladiolus, but their clashing nature truly prevented that. It was one thing what Ignis would think about the younger Amicitia, but he also wished for Noctis to have more friends. And there was something in Gladiolus, something that Noctis may need.

That day wasn’t different from any other day. Ignis woke up early to get some work done before he would fetch Noctis from his room. He always went a bit earlier than he should, because Noctis needed a lot of time to be convinced to get up. Ignis knocked then entered the room, looking around. It usually was messy and the better Noctis has gotten the messier it was. Which was good and bad at the same time.

Ignis walked to the bed, but when he saw that there was no one there he frowned.

“Noct?” he asked, looking around the room. He went to check the bathroom, just in case, but there was no one there either. Ignis wondered if Noctis had something scheduled for that morning, but that was impossible, because he knew Noctis’s schedule and there was only his training that morning. Maybe he went ahead? Ignis didn’t think so, but still he hurried to the training room to maybe find Noctis there.

“Are you guys doing this on purpose or what?” Gladiolus hollered the moment Ignis opened the door. The retainer stopped, looking at him.

“Noctis is here?” He asked quietly, hoping with all his being, that Noctis was there. But judging by the look on Gladiolus’ face he wasn’t.

“So I guess he’s not with you,” he said looking around as if he could spot Noctis there somewhere. Ignis felt a familiar scare crawl up the back of his neck, something he didn’t feel for a long time. He pressed his lips together, looking at Gladiolus. “When did he disappear, did anyone else see him?”

Ignis went through the people who could see Noctis. If the night guard didn’t report him missing, or leaving then he was still there around 5 in the morning. It would mean he wasn’t gone too long. An hour and a half tops, depending on when he left his bed. But how could he sneak out without anyone noticing him? No, someone must have seen him. The guards on his floor definitely saw him.

Without a word, Ignis turned to hurry back to Noctis’ room to talk to the guard.

“Hey, wait, wait!” Gladiolus yelled as he leaped after him, falling in pace with him. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to ask the guards first if they saw anything,” Ignis told him.

“Why didn’t they say something then?” the other asked.

“Good question.”

Finding the guard on the floor, it happened they indeed saw Noctis leave their room early in the morning. Ignis demanded them why didn’t they report it to someone, to which the answer was that Prince Noctis didn’t seem like he was in trouble. Ignis demanded they call the supervision center and check the camera footage as in where could Prince Noctis go.

Their investigation showed that Prince Noctis woke up early and then went to the greenhouse. Ignis and Gladiolus hurried there, since it was the last scene Prince Noctis was seen at.

“Noct!” Ignis yelled as they arrived, looking around. There was no one around, not even the gardener has come around yet.

“I check this part, you go that way,” Gladiolus said as he leaped to check toward the far left side of the greenhouse. Ignis moved to the opposite side. It was a fairly big greenhouse with countless places for a small child to hide. If he was there at all. Ignis checked in all bushes, in every little corner on his part, but found nothing. Though when Gladiolus called for him, his heart skipped a beat as he ran toward his voice.

“Have you found him?” Ignis asked confused when he got to the other, but not seeing Noctis anywhere.

“Yeah no, but there’s something,” Gladiolus said and pointed toward the glass wall of the greenhouse. “There’s a window there, it’s open. If Noctis was last seen here, and he’s not here then-” He couldn’t even finish it, because Ignis already inspected the window, finding that a small child could easily squeeze through it without a problem. He didn’t even say anything as he attempted the same. “Hey, wait!” Gladiolus cursed as Ignis stumbled outside, looking around. He found himself outside on a wider edge of the Citadel building, with a set of stairs leading down. Ignis didn’t wait for Gladiolus who was also in the middle of trying to squeeze himself through the window, but hurried down the stairs.

“Noct!” Ignis was yelling as he was following hidden paths down to the ground level, finding himself out in the storage room of the Citadel’s garden. He looked around, looked at the trees and the morning sunshine which felt like it was laughing at him for losing a prince overnight. Had Noctis come this way at all? What if he was still in the garden somewhere? What if he wasn’t? What if something happened?

Ignis felt his heartbeat picking up as he was going through all the possible cases as in why would Noctis be missing. His throat was tight, his limbs got cold.

“Have you found him?” Gladiolus stumbled next to him a little out of breath. Ignis didn’t answer just set off with the determination to find Noctis. He heard Gladiolus curse behind him as he hurried after him. Ignis was ready to search the whole garden, look around each tree once again to find Noctis. But thankfully, he didn’t have to. Wading just a bit deeper, he spotted something from the corner of his eye. Something by a tree nearby.

It was Noctis.

It was Noctis who was curling around a pillow, sleeping.

The relief Ignis felt was so huge his knees almost buckled. He headed toward the sleeping prince, suddenly aware of Gladiolus’ presence once again.

“What the hell are ya doing?!” Gladiolus yelled, though not at Ignis this time. But Noctis. The prince opened his eyes and looked up at the two of them. Ignis saw the fear that clouded his sleepy expression as he was struggling to sit up. “Were you trying to run away or what?!”

“No…” Noctis muttered, pressing his back against the trunk of the tree, holding the pillow against him as a kind of shield. Ignis slowly knelt by him. He could feel something was up, Noctis hadn’t done anything like this before.

“You scared the crap out of your nanny!” Gladiolus yelled. Ignis looked up at him for a moment, glaring, because… Because was it that obvious? But he had no time to muse about the for now, Noctis was more important.

“Noctis, why did you sneak out?” Ignis asked. Noctis rubbed his eyes, not really keen on answering. “Noct?” Ignis gently tried again.

“I wanted to be alone,” Noctis said with a sigh. “I didn’t want to wake up, but I knew you’re gonna come to wake me up. So I was tryin’ to find a place to sleep.” He looked up at Gladiolus then. “I don’t wanna train today,” he said.

“What? You’re gonna chicken out?” Gladiolus snorted.

“It’s just for today,” Ignis said, before Noctis could retort anything. “He’ll be in class the next time,” he added, then turned to Noctis again. “Would you like to stay in bed this morning?”

Noctis pursed his lips together, and looked up at Gladiolus for a moment. Then back to Ignis as he nodded.

“Alright, but only today,” Ignis warned and stood back up, holding his hand out for Noctis. The prince eyed it, hesitating, and for a moment Ignis thought he won’t take it. But in the end Noctis grabbed his hand and stood up. “Let’s go, we’ll go back to the front entrance,” Ignis said.

“You’re too soft on him, he’s just being lazy!” Gladiolus huffed from next to Ignis as they started walking. Ignis just sent him a look.

“It’s just for today,” he said, glancing at Noctis.

“Uh-huh,” Gladiolus snorted, pocketing his hands in his hoodie. “Hear that you little midget?” Gladiolus said, leaning forward a little to yell at Noctis. “It’s just for this once!”

“Don’t yell at him,” Ignis scolded him.

“I do what I want, this is my lesson we’re skipping here,” Gladiolus huffed, but didn’t shout at Noctis again.

They brought Noctis back to his room, and Ignis tucked him back in bed, asking him if everything was alright. Noctis didn’t look like he was in pain, but he didn't look like he would be fine that day. Ignis was looking forward to a busy day, but he made a mental not to check in with Noctis as many times as he could.

“You know you could’ve asked me to help you,” Gladiolus started when Ignis left Noctis’ room.

“I didn’t need your help,” Ignis said, checking his phone for the time.

“I know that, but still. You looked scared,” Gladiolus huffed. Ignis just pressed his lips tightly together, thinking. He was scared, yes, he had never lost sight of Noctis before… It was a new thing. A scary thing. “I know I’d go crazy if my little sister went missing.”

Ignis looked up at that. Gladiolus sighed, pocketing his hands in his hoodie.

“She’s the cutest thing, you should meet her some time. She’d like you, cuz she likes nerds and weird things,” Gladiolus chuckled. “Maybe next time I read for you she could come too,” he mused.

“I… don’t know if I have time,” Ignis admitted. It’s been a long time since they could meet up for other than a few words before and after Noctis’ training.

“Yeah figured, you never have time,” Gladiolus sighed. “Piano lessons?”

“Yes, I’m already late,” Ignis admitted. Somehow, he had a bad feeling in his stomach about Noctis. About him trying to sneak away to be alone because he wanted to sleep. Ignis didn’t like that.

“Hey, everything’s cool?” Gladiolus asked suddenly.

“Yes, I’m- I have to go,” Ignis said and found that his feet didn’t want to move from where he was standing by Noctis’ door.

“Then go, I’ll be here until you’re back,” the other said suddenly. Ignis glanced at him, frowning a bit. “I’m supposed to train him, don’t I? So it’s not like I have anywhere else to be. I’ll make sure he stays until you’re back.”

Ignis swallowed, feeling his shoulders release just a bit. Right, it was just an hour. And Gladiolus was going to be Noctis’ Shield. Just like Sir Amicitia was for King Regis. He can stay here for just a little.

“I’ll be going then,” Ignis nodded and finally moved to hurry to the piano classroom.

When he was back Gladiolus was indeed waiting by Noctis’ door, just like he promised.

Ignis thought that Noctis sneaking out that time was just a one time thing. But when it happened again. And again… he had to reconsider. Noctis started to be out of that room more than he was in it, sometimes throwing the whole staff into a hectic search for the Prince. If Ignis was the one noticing, he usually did the search himself. They never told anyone about the window on the greenhouse leading outside the building from where a small prince could easily escape from prying eyes. It was dangerous, Ignis knew well, but Noctis wasn’t about to stop, apparently. He kept telling Ignis that he just wanted to get away. He just wanted to have a space where he could be alone. Where no one would bother him. Ignis tried to understand, but as Noctis was getting older, he was also having to take on some responsibilities. Though, as he was thinking about it, that may have been the cause of his escapes. Still, whenever Noctis was caught, Ignis was always there to make up an excuse for him, going as far to say that he was the one taking the prince for a walk.

Gladiolus didn’t approve of it either, yet Ignis sometimes asked for his help in searching Noctis too, whenever he knew Gladiolus was in the Citadel.


	7. Chapter 06

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.

His current assignment was to check on the Glaives. They have been in commission for a few years now, and Ignis’ task was to check their ranks and if any of their aspects needed improvement. It was supposed to be a longer assignment, one that would require a long time if he wanted to do it right. So that was the reason Ignis was standing on the platform where usually the Council members would when their King welcomed a guest that needed their presence. There were no Council members present this time, only Sir Amicitia. Ignis watched as the new recruits came through the huge doors to the throne room, led by the Glaive Captain. Ignis has read the reports on Glaives and he knew about most of them by this point. He was also aware how the ceremony during which they would receive their magic from the king would go down too, but this was the first time he had seen it. He was standing by the railing with a notebook and pen in hand to make some notes. He was looking over the men Captain Drautos has brought, noting how they all looked refugees. Ignis had read about the other parts ofLucis, the ones that were currently belonged to the empire. He sometimes even wondered if he was coming from one of those parts of Lucis too. But his uncle always warned him that wondering about it is not productive.

Ignis looked over the people again and saw as King Regis takes the stairs to meet them, one by one. He had a few reassuring words for all of them as he shook their hands and inflicted his magic on them. Ignis watched him with the same warm feeling he felt when they first talked, when the king promised him he will find something he likes in the Citadel. It was ten years ago, it felt like a lifetime for some reason.

But all those things fled from Ignis’ thoughts the moment the last recruit had stepped to King Regis. Ignis’ eyes widened and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

The man was tall, with a definite jawline and stubble, wearing braids and beads in his hair. His shoulders were wide, his figure showed that fighting was not alien from him, that he had been a soldier before coming to Insomnia. He was young, but he looked tired and serious. Ignis felt his mouth go dry as he was watching the man, his body growing hot. His heart was beating hard, but he thought he would straight out die when the man looked up at him, and smirked. Ignis had no idea why, but his slacks suddenly grew tighter and he had to hold his notebook in front of himself as to not embarrass himself.

The experience was intense. Something he knew had to do with him growing older, hitting puberty what people kept talking about. Especially his piano teachers. If anyone asked Ignis, it was terribly embarrassing.

“Oh, it certainly is embarrassing at the beginning, and these urges could cause a lot of complications. Some kingdoms fall because someone had a hard on for someone they had no right to,” his teacher told him when he presented him his findings on Glaives, and of course, on his own reaction to one of them. His teachers always told him to mention things he find important after all. And yes, it was embarrassing, but Ignis somehow felt it was important to mention.

Ignis frowned, his fingers not stopping over the keys of the piano as he was playing a slow melody. His current teacher sitting uncomfortably close, talking to him. It has been a piano lesson practice. Whenever they were teaching him theory, they always had to play a song too. So Ignis actually learned to play the piano too, but these lessons had a completely different reason.

“I felt it was powerful,” he muttered. “But  _ that  _ powerful?” he asked, looking up at his teacher for a moment.The old man was watching him with a glance that made Ignis the most uncomfortable since the moment he was assigned as his teacher. It has been only a few weeks, and Ignis thought they just had to get used to each other.

“Oh my boy, the urges of the body are the most powerful motivation a man can have,” the teacher said. He was older than Ignis’ teachers before. His grey hair was running past his shoulders, that he tied up in a ponytail. His clothes were also old and looked like they would tear just by wearing them, yet he had a kind of majestic aura to him. An aura of someone old, and heavy, like a rock on a misty mountain Ignis sometimes read about. Cold and huge and fearful in a way. If Ignis was thinking about it, he didn’t like the feel of this man at all. But he was his teacher so he had to bear with him for a while. Apparently, he wasn’t a Scientia, but he was serving the family due to a reason he had not disclosed to Ignis. He said he was from Niflheim, so Ignis was sure that his lessons will include information on the Empire and he didn’t have to be disappointed.

Yet, there were some things that his teacher would say that slightly disturbed him. Just like the talk about bodily urges.

“It is also a great skill to know how to manipulate such urges,” Sir Foedus said. Ignis didn’t stop playing, but said nothing. “Many of the Scientias had rather used a person’s thirst to get what they needed. If you do it right, it could be rather pleasurable too.”

Pleasure. Yes, Ignis had heard about it before. But he had no idea how something terribly uncomfortable and embarrassing could be pleasurable.

“Some Lucis Caelums also demanded such services from the Scientias, too.” Sir Foedus continued, reaching out to tap at Ignis’ pinky finger when he didn’t press a key down hard enough.

Ignis suddenly felt sick for some reason. He didn’t want to listen to this lecture. If it was a lecture at all. It was difficult to know with Sir Foedus.

“Now that you seem to be awaken these urges, I’d advise you to keep them in check. I’ll also discuss the rest with the Masters about the relevant training.”

Relevant training? What does his ‘urges’ have to do with relevant training? Ignis still didn’t like this at all. Though lately, he had many things he was uncomfortable with. Thankfully Sir Foedus continued their lesson on Niflheim politics so he could put his mind off of things.

\--

Due to his assignment, Ignis also had to be frequent in Titus Drautos’ office. Thankfully, he had clearance and a key to enter anytime he would need as long as he also informed the Captain when he will be there. That was how Ignis was working away at some reports in the Glaive Captain’s office when someone knocked on the door. Ignis blinked and looked up from his notes at the door. It was actually pretty late at night, so he didn’t answer, thinking whoever it was would leave. But then the doorknob moved and the door opened. Ignis huffed annoyed, ready to send away whoever it would be there, but all those plans came to a halt when he realized who dared to barge in.

It was Nyx Ulric, one of the new recruits Ignis had watched being infused in His Highness’ throne room. He was wearing a Glaive uniform, and looked pretty ruffled. Also appeared like he had aged a bit since Ignis had seen him a couple weeks ago.

“Uuuh…” the Glaive started, looking around a bit unsure as he spotted Ignis sitting by the Captain’s desk. “I’m looking for the Captain.”

“He’s not available right now, he’ll be back in the morning,” Ignis said, wondering when his voice became so weak. He had no problem interacting with strangers, and Ulric wasn’t a stranger either, he was… Well, Ignis truly had no idea who he was. But he kind of hoped he would leave and stay at the same time.

“Annnnd you are…?” Ulric started, his eyes narrowing as he was eying Ignis and slowly walked in. Ignis felt his heartbeat pick up as the Glaive advanced toward him. It wasn’t fear, probably, but something similar. Ignis licked his lips and stood from his seat.

“I’m Ignis Scientia,” he bowed a little. “I’m doing an assignment and needed some of the reports kept here,” he explained, because he knew that look on Ulric. The suspicion. Which was good. It meant that the Glaive was smart, and picked up on things.

“Nyx Ulric,” the Glaive started, still eying Ignis a bit suspiciously and yet the only thing Ignis could think about was how gorgeous his eyes were. “Alright, I’m just a refugee here I know nothing, but I’m pretty sure that no kid has the right to look at those papers kept in that cabinet especially. Aren’t those classified or something?”

Nyx Ulric had been a Glaive only just two weeks and he already knew his duties and when to call out suspicious people entering his Captain’s office. Ignis felt something like… excitement over this, for some reason. He set his glasses, nodding.

“True, no kid has the right to look at them. But I do. I have clearance,” he said. Nyx looked at him like he needed something more to believe him. And Ignis didn’t blame him, but he luckily had the means to disarm him. “I can call the Captain who can explain the situation.”

“Right, then do. I’m waiting.” Ignis could almost hear the ‘if you lie to me I’ll beat you to death’ part of that call-out. Yet again something that made his fingers shiver as he took his phone and dialed Captain Drautos’ number. Obviously, the Captain wasn’t too happy about taking a call that late night, but when Ignis explained the situation and that it needed amends he became a bit calmer.

“He wants to talk to you,” Ignis said then, when Drautos demanded to speak a few words to the new Glaive. Nyx eyed the phone in Ignis’ hand then reached for it. As he took it, his fingers brushed against Ignis’ hand. They were rough and warm and Ignis had to try his best not to reach for them and pull on them. Such a strange urge. So powerful, he wondered as he was watching Nyx take the phone and put it to his ear. Ignis didn’t really listen to what he was saying, but only how his voice sounded, how his lips moved and how his eyes watched something on the floor as he was talking. Ignis had met many people in the Citadel, he had read about many others in books, but somehow Nyx was different from anyone he had gotten to know. He was a stranger in a land that wasn’t his home and it showed. The braids in his hair, the strange tattoos on his face and neck and hands.

But it wasn’t exactly Nyx’s exotic nature that got Ignis’ attention. It was his eyes. His hands. And he only noticed he was staring when the Glaive tried to hand his phone back and Ignis was hesitating.

“Damn kid, I have no idea what the hell you’re on about, but I was told to mind my own damn business here,” Nyx chuckled amused. Ignis finally reached for the phone, and he caught himself deliberately touching Nyx’ hand as he took it. “You’re training to be a Glaive or something?” Nyx asked.

Ignis parted his lips a little unsure. Not because of the question, but due to the fact that Nyx was still there and still talked to him.

“Not exactly, no,” he said.

“Huh,” Nyx blinked, frowning at him. “I just thought, since you seem like a refugee too, you know.”

“I’m…” Ignis started, but he honestly couldn’t answer properly to that accusation. Because he probably was a refugee. People kept telling him, that his features, the color of his eyes, the color of his hair, are all alien to Lucis’ people. “I was raised in the Citadel,” he said at last, because that wasn’t a lie.

Nyx hummed a little surprised. But then his features turned softer, almost sad as Ignis was looking at him.

“Yeah, sorry for bothering, I’ll talk to the Captain the morning then,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. Ignis sighed, slowly sitting back down his chair, his eyes still on Nyx. “But you shouldn’t stay out here too late. Don’t you need sleep?”

“I still have work to do,” Ignis said.

“Is there anyone to take you home?” the Glaive asked. While Ignis was in the middle of taking driving lessons, he knew he could always ask someone from the Citadel to come and drive him back. So he just nodded. But for some reason, Nyx didn’t look too convinced. “I’ll be outside,” he said, then turned to walk out, closing the door behind him. Ignis blinked a little confused. What did Nyx mean by that? Why would he be outside? All that did was confuse and excite Ignis to the point it was difficult to concentrate. It was late at night anyway, he was tired and having to deal with Nyx probably being on the other side of that door was slightly frustrating.

Thankfully, Ignis could finish his work in an hour. He quickly packed up and tidied the office, hurrying to the door. Would Nyx really be there, he wondered. For some reason he didn’t think the Glaive was still around. But when he opened the door, he spotted a dark figure sitting by the wall next to it. It was Nyx. Ignis stumbled to a halt to look at him.

“Hm? Done? Pee break?” Nyx asked as he looked up at him. Ignis once again felt his whole body going warm.

“I’m done. I’m going back to the Citadel,” he answered, setting his glasses.

“Oh, right, you live there?” Nyx asked. Ignis nodded. “Fine, let’s go then.” The Glaive sighed and stood up, dusting his trousers. Ignis knew what he meant by that. He knew that Nyx probably wanted to escort him back to the Citadel?

“You don’t have to come with me,” Ignis said. But why did he say that, he found he wanted Nyx to walk with him.

“I don’t, but I will. I can’t just let you walk around late at night in the city. Or you have a ride?” Nyx asked, eying him. Ignis suddenly felt self conscious. He could call a ride, yes. But he didn’t want to, he wanted to walk with Nyx. Is this what his teacher was talking about? Powerful motivation?

“Let’s go,” he said at last, his throat dry. Nyx then smiled at him and Ignis thought he would stop breathing forever. He swallowed and hurried ahead, but thankfully Nyx fell into pace with him. Suddenly, Ignis was aware how close Nyx was, how he had a warm body to him, how tall he was. All those things that were obvious with other people before, they were significant in Nyx’s case. “Why did you want to talk to the Captain this late?” Ignis wondered out loud suddenly.

“It was a bit personal,” Nyx said with an amused huff. Ignis turned his head to look at him for a moment, trying to read his expression. But he had that sad, tired expression he showed Ignis a bit earlier. “I couldn’t sleep, so I came to train. Saw the lights on and well, hoped he’s still in for a talk.”

“Ah,” Ignis muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t be. If anyone has to be sorry it’s the Nilfs.” Nyx grinned, reaching out to bump his fist against Ignis’ shoulder. It didn’t hurt at all, it wasn’t to hurt him, yet it almost stopped Ignis’ heart. All these small touches made him want for more. He wanted to reach for Nyx’ hand too. He wanted to move closer to him, he wanted to pull his warmth over him like a blanket…

The walk to the Citadel’s gates weren’t as long as Ignis wanted it, but somehow he still wanted it to end. He was more tired than he thought, his limbs were shivering and every time Nyx was talking his heart was about to burst from his chest. It was tiring. Nyx said goodbye to him when he was sure that Ignis will be safe with all those Crownsguards around. Ignis watched him as he warped away in a low chuckle.

Ignis hoped for a few hours of sleep that night, because he truly felt exhausted, but he kept waking up from strange dreams involving Nyx and his hands and his lips and his warmth. To a point where he had to change his sheets.

From that day on, he rarely had a night where he could sleep properly and it was slowly getting to him. He had to concentrate during the day, and having only just a few hours of proper sleep with him really didn’t help with that. One of those nights when he was waking up parched and uncomfortable, he went to get a glass of water. He didn’t expect anyone to be there, but walking into the kitchen, he found someone sitting by the small table there. Ignis stopped, hesitating, because if anyone would want to spend their night alone here, they would really want to be alone. But in the end he walked in, because he needed that glass of water. Upon walking in, he found his Uncle sitting by the table, looking tired and pensive.

“Ah, Ignis, it’s late…” he stuttered when he saw Ignis by the sink as he was filling his glass.

“I just came for water,” Ignis said quietly. He looked over his shoulder at the man, though as he watched him his heart sank. There was something in his Uncle’s expression, something that made him appear older, something that was heavy and… hopeless? If Ignis had to be honest, it scared him. Not many things scared him lately, and they were all connected to Noctis mostly, but that expression on his Uncle was also something that alarmed him. Maybe that’s why he didn’t just leave as he planned but stood by the sink with his glass in his hand, unable to decide what to do. “Is everything alright?” he asked in the end.

Casamus blinked, slowly raising his tired eyes at him. His hair was much greyer than Ignis had first came to the Citadel ten years ago. The lines on his face deeper, yet his kind eyes never changed. It was just there was something more in them, something that he could not hide anymore. Ignis slightly wondered how all people had that; eyes that hid things. Everyone had. He could see it. But watching someone also has it who he cared for was painful. Maybe that’s why he was so scared.

“It’s just an old thing, Ignis,” Casamus said at last, with a sigh. Ignis once again prepared for being told it was an adult thing. People still gave him that crap, even if next year he was legitimate to attend some Council meetings too. “Just an anniversary only I keep,” his Uncle whispered, looking at his hands.

Ignis swallowed.

“Is it your brother?” he asked quietly. Casamus closed his eyes, nodding.

“I don’t know for sure if it was today he was… gone. But it was this day I got the letter of his death,” he spoke softly, quietly. “They didn’t even let me keep a picture of him.”

Ignis didn’t say anything. One of the first rules of the Scientias was that if you died, you never existed in the first place. If you mess up, you’re gone, you have no help. No Lucis Caelum would help you, no Shield would ever associate with you, no one would ever reach for you if you fell. It was for the sake of safety of the Scientia secrets. They could serve the royal family successfully because of these rules for centuries.

“I’m sorry,” he said at last, knowing it wasn’t exactly comfort for his Uncle. But it was how things were. It was the order of things. “What was his name?” he asked.

“Germanus,” Casamus said after a bit of hesitation. But it was clear he doesn’t want to talk much about him. Then he looked up at Ignis again, still sad. As if he wanted to say, or ask something, but in the end he didn’t.

“I’m not supposed to ask about your lessons,” he spoke. Ignis nodded. Someone who wasn’t taking piano lessons had no right to know anything about that, even if they were family. Though, Ignis wondered, the Scientia family wasn’t exactly tied by blood. Most of them were adopted into the family, picked or scouted when they were small. Either because they had no one, or they were talented enough so someone from the Scientias would pay attention to them. Ignis read some of those reports about talented kids. He had access to the archives, unlike his Uncle. He could bring no one there without permission, and he doubted they would grant permission to his Uncle. Once again, Ignis felt it was more the question of pride than anything else. Why couldn’t the man at least read the details of his brother’s death? Somehow, it bothered him that the only thing he could say to his Uncle about his brother was ‘I’m sorry’.

Weren’t the Scientias there to help people in the first place?

“The lessons are going well, I suppose,” Ignis spoke then, walking to the table the man was sitting at. He put down his glass and hesitated for a moment before he sat down on a chair too. “I’m learning a lot.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Casamus smiled, warmly and tired, entwining his fingers. “And I hope you’re doing well, also.”

Ignis hummed in thought, feeling his cheeks blush as he was thinking about what he was currently dealing with. Glaives and bodily urges. How annoying.

“You should go back to bed, Ignis,” Casamus sighed after a few minutes of silence. Ignis looked up at him, wondering what else he could do for him. But he figured even he couldn’t bring people back from the dead. So he said good night, and left his Uncle to remember in peace. Ignis also noted the date.

\--

Days went on as they should; without meeting Nyx again. Ignis hated how it was always at the back of his mind where Nyx should be. It was a vicious cycle; he dreamed about Nyx then thought about him. And when something made him think of the Glaive then he dreamed again. Ignis found it pretty annoying, yet he had to live like this, he figured. Maybe one day it will stop…

In the meantime, his other worries consisted of Noctis and his frequent disappearances.

That night, Ignis checked on Noctis again finding his bed empty along with his room. He sighed and went for his usual rounds to find him, but Noctis was nowhere to be found. Ignis never told this to Noctis, but every time it took him a longer time to find him, his heart started to race along with his thoughts. Was he alright? Did he just sneak away? He wasn’t taken… right? And every time Noctis was found Ignis scolded himself for such silly thoughts. Yet, it kept happening again and again. Just like this time.

Noctis was nowhere to be found. And Ignis started to grow worried. He wasn’t anywhere his usual hiding spots and no one seemed to meet him. Noctis also learned to trick the surveillance cameras which was kind of admirable in a way, but not when he was missing.

Ignis swallowed, trying to calm down. Noctis was most probably just hiding somewhere again… So he got his phone and he was about to call Gladiolus, when an unknown number was calling him. Ignis frowned, his heart jumping from fear, and picked up.

“Hey, is this Ignis Scientia’s number?” The voice on the other end of the line was too familiar. And hearing it so close to his ear shouldn’t make Ignis feel as jittery as he suddenly did. Especially not a situation like this.

“Nyx Ulric?” he asked in disbelief, because, why would the Glaive call him in the first place? How did he get his number? Wait, why did he get his number?

“That’s me, yes. I think I have something of yours, or more like, someone.”

Ignis gripped the phone tighter. Every question he would have could wait. Nyx had Noctis.

“Where--”

“The Citadel’s roof. Guy’s laying down, looking at the sky. Didn’t talk to him, but keeping an eye on him from a distance. Figured you’d wanna know.”

“I’ll be there immediately!”

Ignis then hung up, so he could get to the roof faster. Noctis had never been there, so it was strange why would he go there. And why was Nyx there too? What was going on? Ignis took the elevator to the top floor and found the stairs led up to the actual roof of the citadel’s private wing. He quickly opened the door which didn’t need a key. Even if it was supposed to be locked. Ignis looked around, trying to find Noctis or Nyx. In a moment he spotted Noctis laying on the ground and Ignis felt his whole body go cold at the sight. It was just too disturbing.

“Noctis?” he called him, his eyes looking around for Nyx. Where was he?

Noctis turned his head toward him, frowning. But he didn’t move. Ignis hurried over and crouched down to him, feeling worried.

“Is everything alright, Noct?” Ignis asked. The prince just sighed, turning his eyes back on the sky.

“Just wanted to be alone,” he said. His retainer just sighed, not saying anything. Noctis wanted to be alone a lot, and when he was either with his father or teachers, or even with Ignis, he started to have this distance look on him. Someone straight out called it boredom and Ignis had a suspicion it was indeed that. Noctis slept more and more, and had no friends outside the Citadel either. People kept asking him if he made friends at school and he would just shrug. Somehow, it was painful to watch.

“You still shouldn’t just wander off alone like this, people could get worried,” Ignis scolded him softly and sat down next to him. Then he followed Noctis’ gaze up to the sky full of stars. There was a distortion visible sometimes from the Wall His Highness cast, but the sky was still clear and sparkly. Ignis just wondered that he had never stopped and looked up at it like this before. He was too busy for it.

“We learned about stars today,” Noctis muttered. “Just wanted to see them a bit more,” he added.

“I see,” Ignis sighed, pulling up his knees to put his arms over them. “Then, I’ll stay with you until you’re ready to go to bed,” he told Noctis. The prince just hummed something in answer, and that was fine. There was no point in forcing him to go back yet. Noctis was safe now and he needed to be alone. Well, fairly alone. Ignis sighed a bit relieved, and took his phone to text the number that called him.

_ Thank you Ulric. _

_ No problem. I like to watch the stars too when I can  _ _   
_ _ You can call me Nyx btw _

Ignis read the text and his heart raced. This was so strange. So uncomfortable and awkward and yet it filled him up with silly glee.  _ Nyx _ . He just sent back a confirmation and that was it. He stayed with Noctis, not talking at all as he was just laying there watching the stars. But when Noctis appeared to be falling asleep, Ignis gently shook him awake and suggested he goes to bed. He escorted the little sleepy prince back to his bed, but he didn’t stay in his room for the night this time. Ignis could tell when Noctis really wanted to be alone after all and this night was like that.

The next day Ignis had received a few texts from Nyx, actually. Asking if he and the little prince were alright. Ignis answered and also thanked the Glaive his help. It actually really helped in case of Noctis. And just when Ignis was eating his breakfast and wondered about asking Nyx if next time he sees Noctis… the Glaive called him.

“Oh good, you’re already up,” Nyx spoke into the phone and Ignis almost dropped his fork.

“I’m usually up at this time,” he answered. Like an  _ idiot _ . Nyx just chuckled.

“Listen, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to ask you something that may not be my business,” he said. Ignis frowned heavily, his whole body tensing up. What does Nyx want to ask? Of him? “So, there’s gonna be a small street festival in Little Galahd and I thought maybe the little prince wants to check it out?”

“What?” Ignis asked back again, like. an. idiot. He got back his wits soon, but he wasn’t less confused. Nyx was asking the prince to check out a street festival? “I don’t think that would be possible, these things first have to go through the council then security and-”

“Yeah I wasn’t asking it like that. I was just, you know, bring him as a kid and not a prince? You get what I’m saying?”

Ignis froze again, but from something different this time. Did Nyx ask Noctis to go to the city just like that? He got what he was saying, but was this safe? Could he trust Nyx like this?

“I don’t know… Nyx, I don’t know,” he said honestly.

“Yes, I figured, but you can think about it. It may be a good thing for the prince too, maybe he would smile a little. You can call me when you figured it out,” Nyx was smiling, Ignis could tell. It was strange. He hung up then, but Ignis still held the phone to his ear. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Nyx just said: maybe he would smile more. Even a Glaive like Nyx noticed how Noctis was getting sadder?

It was conflicting, because for the first time, Ignis had no one to discuss this. It was a choice he had to make alone. He wondered if he should bring it up with his Piano teacher, but in the end he decided against it. He didn’t want to involve anyone else, bring trouble to anyone else. But if he messes this up and trusts the wrong person he could put Noctis in danger. Would he be able to protect him? He must.

Ignis knew the logical choice would be to decline Nyx’s offer, but there was something that made him consider again. It was a day he went to pick Noctis up from school. He got out of the car and opened the door for him, noticing that Noctis had a strange more distant look on his face. He was waiting by the gate of the school, but he kept looking back into the schoolyard. Even when the car’s door was open for him.

Ignis eyed him a little, then called for him to catch his attention, basically also to ask if he’s fine? In the end Noctis reluctantly turned back and got into the car. He was quiet in a strange way. Ignis grew more bothered by it as they were nearing the Citadel.

“Did something happen Noct?”

“No,” he said and Ignis knew he would say that. Lately Noctis grew more distant from him too and Ignis had no idea how to help him. For the first time he had no help. “Iggy…” Noctis started then suddenly, picking at something on the seat. “How do you talk to people?”

Ignis blinked. It was such a weird question, he wasn’t sure how to answer it.

“I never really… wanted to talk to anybody…” Noctis continued like it would be difficult to speak.

“You have someone you want to talk to?” Ignis asked, tilting his head to look more into the other’s face. Noctis just looked at him a little embarrassed, then shrugged. That meant a yes.

“Wh-“

“I just don’t know if they wanna talk to me,” Noctis said suddenly.

“Of course they do,” Ignis retorted. “If you noticed them, that means they want to talk to you,” Ignis insisted then. Because if there was someone Noctis wanted to talk, then he should, he should get friends and maybe he would smile more. Maybe bearing some responsibilities wouldn’t be so heavy if he had someone there with him. That’s also made Ignis strengthen his opinion that Noctis needs to go to high school after middle school, and not tutored privately.

“They’re just… not, um, I don’t know…” 

“They could be just as shy as you, maybe they need time,” Ignis smiled. Noctis pouted at him.

“‘M not shy…” he said. Ignis smiled. He felt somehow relieved. Noctis was working on things on his own, and he noticed people. He wants to go out there, he’s maybe opening his eyes.

That was the moment when Ignis decided that he will take Nyx’s offer and take Noctis to the festival. Not Noctis the prince, but Noctis the kid.

  
  



	8. Chapter 07

It took some last minute arrangements, and sneaking around, but Noctis and Ignis was ready to attend the street festival in Little Galahd. Ignis told their chauffeur that Noctis will have to stay in school longer and he would be with him, and a Glaive too. It was amazing how easily people relaxed when it comes to the Glaives. Which was their luck in the Citadel.

The moment the car was out of sight, Nyx appeared by the school, telling them to follow him. Ignis reached for Noctis’ hand, but the prince didn’t want to take it this time. He said he can walk alone.

Nyx lead them away from the school, away from the business district, to the outer districts of the city, to the lower districts of the city. To places not even Ignis have been before. They took into small back alleys, they went down stairs, they elbowed through crowds heading Six knows where… It was like being travelled into another world and Ignis grew more and more worried. But Noctis didn’t. The further they got from the Citadel the braver Noctis got in his steps, going as far as walking next to Nyx. Ignis followed behind watching both of their backs, feeling the strange mix of fear and excitement. One moment he thought this was a good idea, the other he was utterly terrified. But he trusted Nyx, in a strange way, and he trusted his own instincts too. He will protect Noctis if anything happened, this is what he was trained for after all.

Then, the next moment they arrived on a huge, wide street being closed off from traffic, so the people could enjoy the countless booths and goods the festival offered. The banner told all newcomers that this is the ‘Beyond the Wall Festival’. It meant that all of those nations’ cultures that were trapped outside the wall, even maybe occupied by the empire could be represented here. The crowd was massive. Ignis had never seen so many people together, and so many different people indeed. It was clear that some of that had come from faraway lands, lands Ignis sometimes just read about. He caught himself thinking that maybe he will discover his roots too, but once again he rejected the idea. It was not productive to think about that. He turned to Noctis, just to check on him, and had to smile when he saw his expression. Noctis was appearing just as shocked as Ignis felt, with his dark eyes so wide that the lights of the festival could be seen in them. He looked beautiful. And too young.

“Ready to dive in?” Nyx grinned at them, making Ignis’ heart flutter in his chest. Noctis nodded eagerly already hurrying ahead asking ‘what’s that?’. Nyx was quick to follow him, with Ignis in their steps. Ignis should have watched the people, the booths, anything, but what he watched was how Nyx was handling Noctis. And he noticed; it wasn’t like just an ordinary person hanging out with a kid; it was a Glaive making sure the prince will be safe by not making him aware of it. Nyx was a professional, maybe not even on purpose, it seemed like it was in his blood. It made Ignis feels slightly more at ease.

It was also lucky that Noctis hasn’t been in the public too much yet, people had only a vague idea of what he looked like, and maybe the people here had none at all. So even if he ditched the baseball cap, he might have been alright to walk around. His clothes were ordinary, but still black, though Ignis figured if people picked up on that they wouldn’t think the Crown Prince was the one walking a festival like this.

Everything was so new, so different from what they were used in the Citadel, or even in school. Noctis was attending one of the elite schools after all, with the ‘best’ of Insomnia and Ignis was privately tutored due to his Piano lessons. Though he started to think about attending the Royal Academy, which usually was for people who intended to work for the royal family in the future. Ignis actually eyed their Crownsguard training, which he knew Gladiolus was also taking. All in all, this was something entirely new for both Ignis and Noctis. The people, the energy that engulfed them, even the smell of the food they were selling at some stands. But the best part of all this was, that Noctis was going around and didn’t even feel intimidated to ask if he had no clue about something. For example, they were listening to an old lady tell of a tale of her land, on which the game she was hosting worked. It was a simple game of holding a small fishing rod and trying to fish out the tiny toy fishes from the aquarium; if the number was your lucky number, you got a price: a handmade candy. Ignis and Nyx were terrible in this game, however Noctis walked away with a fistful of candies which Ignis had to confiscate half of in hope that the prince won’t upset his stomach too early on.

“Say, how about we have a breather and some good bites?” Nyx asked suddenly. “I know just the right stand for ya,” he grinned and lead them to a booth that sold skewers. Noctis gasped out delighted at the sight of that meat mountain that was rotating on the grill. Even Ignis made a mental note to look after this seasoning. “Pride of Galahd, this meat,” he chuckled and waved at the person tending to the booth.

“You have to stand in line like all of us mortals, Nyx!” someone barked from the tables set around for the guests. Nyx laughed out loud and raised his arm to wave at his friends. Ignis grew a bit alarmed. Do they know that Noctis is with them?

“Then I’ll be there when I can!” Nyx shouted back. Then he turned to Ignis and Noctis. “They probably won’t recognize you, they just started training. So it’ll be alright,” he added, looking at Ignis. “Everyone will pay more attention to these skewers anyway,” he added, pointing at the booth.

They had to stand in line for a bit to get served, and even then Nyx insisted that at this booth he will treat them, even if Ignis had all the money they would need. But Nyx said, that this is the food of this home and he will treat them. When they had skewers and dips to last for a lifetime they were heading to the table where Nyx’s friends were.

“You didn’t say you were babysitting!” a larger man with the same kind of braids in his hair as Nyx’s yelled. He already had his fair share of skewers and beer. Ignis looked over the half empty beer mugs all over the table. Though he noted Nyx wasn’t drinking. For now.

“Yeah, sometimes you have to do what you have to do,” Nyx answered all mysterious and smiled that one smile that Ignis wished he didn’t see, because damn his cheeks were burning. “Anyway, I want everyone to be as age appropriate as possible, got it? We don’t want to ruin innocent children after all.”

“Are you doing this for a hot lady or somethin’?” a woman chimed in, her mouth full of meat, chewing. Her face already messy from the dips.

“Let that be my secret, alright?” Nyx chuckled as they sat down. “Anyway these two have no idea of Galahdan food, so I figured I showed them.”

“They came to the best place then!” the one first yelling laughed out loud. At this point Noctis already inhaled half of his spicy skewers.

Ignis looked over the people as he sat down. He actually recognized most of them from the Kingsglaive, when he had to make that report. It was a strange feeling that they probably had no idea who he was. Though, they handled them as they were one of them, as they had known him and Noctis since the very beginning. Noctis was asking about the food, and when they started to talk about the rivers and the fish in those rivers, Noctis barely remembered to eat.

“I’m glad he’s having a good time, I was a little worried,” Ignis heard Nyx’s voice from next to him at the table. Nyx was back with another set of skewers and some soda, one he offered to Ignis.

“Thank you,” Ignis took the can, though he didn’t open it. He looked at the other end of the table for Noctis, who was sitting with the other Glaives listening one of them telling the story of his grandfather and that giant fish from that one lake. Ignis smiled a little. “Yes, he’s having a good time,” he confirmed to Nyx.

“You too?” the Glaive asked. Ignis blinked at him.

“I’m… yes,” he nodded at last. “Neither Noctis or me would’ve met these people if it wasn’t for you,” he looked down, feeling his cheeks burn.

“I suppose I just wanted the prince to see how the world is bigger than that palace there,” Nyx sighed, looking at Noctis too. “I was lucky he has such a responsible retainer,” he added with a smirk. Ignis cleared his throat, looking down.

“Nothing about this is responsible,” he said with a smile, yet a heavy sigh.

“Ah, I see, you can’t have fun, you’re still working,” Nyx smiled. Ignis didn’t answer, because that was it, wasn’t it? Until he was sure Noctis was safely back in bed, his work didn’t end. “But I’ll suggest for Noctis to learn more about the outskirts of the Kingdom.”

“That would be good,” Nyx smiled. “But I think he’s already learning a lot,” he looks up at Noctis. Ignis smiled, following his gaze. But just in that moment his eyes look over the crowd on the main street, spotting someone too familiar there.

It was Gladiolus with a girl on his arm. They were wearing the same Royal Academy uniforms. Ignis straightened his back, alarmed. For one long moment Ignis wondered if Gladiolus would spot them, but he just laughed at something his partner said and disappeared in the crowd again. Ignis let out a sigh. So far for not running into anyone familiar here. Though that it’s Gladiolus it may be their luck.

“Hm? What is it? You look like you saw a ghost,” Nyx waved his arm in front of him. Ignis cleared his throat, and set his glasses

“I thought I saw someone I know,” he said. Nyx hummed in response.

“Someone who’d recognize Noctis?” he asked. Ignis’ heart rushed, because that’s exactly why he was worried.

“Yes, but… it’ll be fine,” Ignis said.

“You trust them?”

Ignis frowned at the rawness of that question. He eyed some stain on the ground, thinking about the answer. Did he trust Gladiolus? All his training told him not to, yet his guts said otherwise, despite that Gladiolus didn’t give him much to work with. Though Ignis wondered if he wasn’t the one not giving him a chance. Gladiolus did change his attitude ever since that little adventure his sister and Noctis had. Iris was wondering away, and Noctis was the one found her, and took all the blame for her. Ignis’ uncle told him what happened when they told him Noctis was having a punishment. But ever since then their training sessions with Gladiolus were slightly easier to handle for Noctis. Ignis would almost go as far to call them friends. Noctis was a sensitive person, but he had a natural instinct to tell if someone was genuinely a good person; that’s why he had a hard time with the court and Council members. And maybe that’s why he befriended Gladiolus, because he was honest.

“I… suppose,” Ignis answered at last. He was conflicted. He felt like he could trust Gladiolus, but he was still unsure, because everything said the opposite. Except Noctis, and his guts.

“That’s not enough,” Nyx sighed. Ignis knew. “Having people to trust is essential, you know.” Ignis knew. But so far he was doing well on his own.

Ignis didn’t answer. Then they heard some yelling from the direction of the booth. The chef was yelling at someone by the trash cans. Everyone at the table looked over. It was an older man, holding a paper plate with a half eaten skewer on it he obviously took from the trash pile. Ignis felt his stomach sink for some reason. The chef motioned him over, and the man hesitated. But in the end he shuffled over. The plate was taken from his hand, just to be replaced with another one with two fresh skewers on it. Ignis didn’t hear what the cook said to him, but he just pat his shoulders and motioned over the tables.

“Yeah, here!” Libertus yelled waving at them. Ignis watched in awe as the Glaives were letting the man have a seat amongst them, right across from Noctis, who was looking at him as if he’d just seen a lost cat.

“Why did you want to eat from the trash?” Noctis asked without any tact here.

“I had no money for food,” the man answered simply. Noctis blinked, as if that answer was wilder than anything he was prepared for. Ignis sighed. He read the reports about refugees and how the city is less and less prepared for them, but seeing it in person was worse. He wondered what Noctis would think about it.

“I have bad health, I can’t work much, and no one would hire an old man like me? I try to take any work I can, but this time I just couldn’t make it.”

“That’s why we have to look out for each other,” Nyx chimed in. “You ever hungry again, you can come by his shop anytime, we’re gonna start a tab for whoever’s hungry.”

“Yeah, we don’t have much, but at least we can eat,” Crowe said smiling.

The man smiled, munching on a bite and wiped his eyes.

Ignis and Noctis didn’t stay long after that, they checked most of the festival, ate good food, so Ignis figured they should head back. Nyx offered to escort them, because they couldn’t exactly call a car to this part of town, so they would get caught. Calling a taxi was also out of the question, so that left them with public transport. Ignis knew the way back, knew which bus to take and where to transfer to the subway too. So it was all fine, but Nyx was still worried for obvious reasons.

“Just you know, knowing something is different than actually doing it,” Nyx started, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s just public transport,” Ignis sighed, looking over at Noctis.

“I’ll go with you,” Nyx offered still. Ignis would have retorted, but then someone yelled at them.

“I  _ knew  _ it!”

Ignis would recognize that voice out of a hundred. So before he even spotted Gladiolus he knew it was him. He turned to watch the boy stomping over to where they were standing, with his partner following him with a surprised expression. Noctis winced as he watched Gladiolus too, and Ignis didn’t blame him. He looked furious.

“I knew it was you I saw at the Galadhan skewers booth, I knew it!” Gladiolus started holding up his finger, and pointing at Ignis. Ignis just set his glasses, preparing for this fight.

“Why, who is he?” the girl asked, purely curious. Ignis turned his gaze at her and immediately saw that she wasn’t just ‘anyone’. Even without saying anything more, he knew that she was of a high class family; from the way she was wearing her clothes, her hair, from the way she was holding her hands and from the way her gaze was also sharp as a knife when it met his. Ignis immediately saw why Gladiolus would be attracted to her; she was a classic beauty if there was such a thing; with long black hair and fair skin, hand lean and long; she was also taller than the average girl.

“Ignis Scientia,” Ignis introduced himself, because first things first. And it also pissed Gladiolus off even more. Somehow that was funny.

After she also introduced himself, Gladiolus stepped between them, trying to be intimidating with his bare size once again. Which never really worked on Ignis. Especially since he started training on his own too. He was getting stronger, broader, though Gladiolus could still beat him if he wanted. But that never stopped Ignis to call every bluff Gladiolus presented to him.

“The fuck are you doing here?” he asked, and Ignis knew it wasn’t exactly his problem. It was that he was with Noctis.

“We were just leaving,” Ignis assured him calmly. No need for further-

“We came to see the festival,” Noctis started from next to Ignis. “We ate skewers and I met the Glaives,” he muttered. “Did you know that there’s a river in Galahd where the fish as big as a person!?”

Ignis pressed his lips together, sighing a little. Though Gladiolus actually didn’t retort to that, just watched Noctis with a kind of repressed rage that was only visible to Ignis.

“Both of them were fine,” Nyx chuckled, patting Noctis’ shoulder. Ignis watched as Gladiolus blinked at the Glaive as if he just realized he was there. Once again, he seemed like he was at a loss of words.

“So you were just leaving, right?” he asked of Noctis and Ignis. Ignis nodded. “Right, I’m coming with you.”

“What?” both Ignis and Gladiolus’ date asked.

“But, you said you’ll come home with me?” she frowned.

“Yeah, well, things changed,” Gladiolus sighed, rubbing his neck as he turned to her. “Sorry about that.”

She clearly didn’t look happy, but she also seemed to know that there was a good reason his boyfriend suddenly ditching her. She looked at Ignis first, then at Noctis who was not introduced to her for obvious reasons. Though Ignis had a suspicion she still could tell who he was. So she nodded in the end. She turned to Gladiolus and leaned in for a kiss. Noctis groaned in disgust, looking away.

“Will you be good?” Gladiolus asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’ll just call my driver,” she nodded, smiling a bit tight. “Call me later?”

“Then I’ll be leaving you to him,” Nyx said then with a smile. Ignis frowned at him. If he had to choose who would escort them to the Citadel he’d chose Nyx, but apparently he had no say in the matter. It also hurt his pride a little that these two people thought he would need help in escorting Noctis back home. He had to get stronger.

“Alright, let’s go,” Gladiolus started then and motioned them to follow. Noctis looked at Ignis, who just shrugged, then they followed. Though a bit later Ignis discussed the details with Gladiolus and they roughly had the same idea.

“I came with her by car and planned to leave with her, so I don’t have my bike with me,” Gladiolus muttered as they were waiting for the night bus. “But I thought you’re smarter than this, why did you think it was a good idea?!” he hissed at Ignis suddenly. He was still cooking apparently.

“I calculated the risk, and we had the Glaives with us, it wasn’t like Noctis was in danger,” Ignis said, hating that he had to bring up the Glaives. That his presence wasn’t enough to calm Gladiolus down.

“But-! Anything could’a happened!” Gladiolus yelled. It was lucky there wasn’t anyone else at the bus stop but them. It was already getting late after all. “What would I tell Iris then, huh? That the Crown Prince was stupid enough to get knifed in the lower parts of the city?”

“Nothing happened,” Ignis insisted, crossing his arms.

“We met a man,” Noctis started then from where he was sitting. Ignis and Gladiolus turned toward him. Noctis had a distant expression on as he was remembering the festival. “He was- he had nothing to eat, he said he had no money to eat,” he said, looking up at Gladiolus.

Gladiolus frowned, sending a look at Ignis.

“The Glaives helped him, they gave him food. Then he told us he had no place to sleep either,” Noctis continued. Ignis swallowed. He didn’t exactly want Noctis to witness that, but it still happened.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of them in the city. Homeless people,” Gladiolus nodded, walking over to Noctis.

“Gladiolus,” Ignis started worried.

“Hey, he has to know!” Gladiolus insisted. “There are many refugees Noct, and people all around are fearful of them, there’s not enough places to work them either. They can’t get money for food and shelter and even if the city’s trying its best to help them, there are still a lot that end up on the street.”

“But the Glaives-” Noctis started, frowning.

“Right, they helped that one guy, lucky him, but there are thousands out there in the city with less luck than that guy. They all flee from the war going on outside that wall, thinking it’ll be better here, but they just end up hungry and homeless.”

“My father-”

“Your father is trying the best he can, I know that. But he’s the king, he can’t see everything, he can’t be there everywhere. He has to look after a country, but sometimes that means he can’t see the tiny details that are the humans in it,” Gladiolus continued. Ignis frowned. Somehow, it was something Sir Amicitia would say. “So we have to look after them as much as we can. Just like those Glaives do.”

Noctis pursed his lips and Ignis saw him getting angry. He fisted his hands as he was staring at Gladiolus.

“It’s not your fault,” Gladiolus said then. “But you’ll be responsible for these people one day, so it’s good you know these things. For when it’ll matter.”

Noctis eyed the other, still angry, then looked at Ignis. As if he was seeking some kind of confirmation that if what Gladiolus said was true or not. But Ignis just sighed, not saying anything. Because everything Gladiolus just told was true. Noctis didn’t speak after that, and Ignis was afraid he will never again…

They got on the bus, which had only one or two other passengers than then. The moment Noctis found his seat and Ignis sat next to him, he leaned against him and fell asleep. Ignis just smiled a little, putting his arm around him to steady him.

They were riding in silence, with Gladiolus still fuming on the seats across from them, his chin perched by his hand on the side of the window, looking out at the night city as if it personally offended him.

“You scared him,” Ignis started quietly.

“And you put him in danger,” Gladiolus hissed back without missing a beat. Touché, Ignis thought.

“You should’ve stayed,” he said instead. Gladiolus sighed a little longing.

“But the moment I saw Noct, this became more important than a date,” he muttered into his palm. “There’s a kind of duty, you know,” he added a bit louder.

“I know,” Ignis whispered, frowning. He knew about that duty. But he wasn’t sure Gladiolus did. It was a small detail, a tiny one, yet Ignis couldn’t help to remember what Nyx asked him just earlier that evening: ‘do you trust them?’. Ignis looked at Gladiolus, with his crumpled school uniform, his face paler than it should be in the neon lights of the bus, his deep frown as he was staring outside the window. He was only a year older than him, in some circles they still counted as kids, yet they had a duty that only a rare few was granted with. Ignis was clear about that, and now he realized Gladiolus was too.

‘Do you trust them?’

Ignis had to realize that yes, yes he did. He trusted Gladiolus Amicitia with Noctis’ life, which was the most precious of all.

“I’m sorry, Gladiolus,” Ignis spoke up. “I knew I shouldn’t have taken Noctis to that festival, but lately, he’s getting a bit… worried? He’s smiling less, he’s sleeping more, he… feels more distant.”

Gladiolus turned to him again, his shoulders dropping a little tension. As if he was ready to listen to Ignis.

“He should man up,” he muttered, though Ignis was sure even Gladiolus didn’t say that seriously. No, if anyone Gladiolus knew the weight of responsibilities too. “You can call me Gladio, you know, everyone does.”

Ignis raised an eyebrow.

“Just so you can call me Iggy, is that right?” he asked, half-mocking.

“Maybe,” Gladio grinned.

In a short time they finally arrived to the Citadel, where Gladio said goodbye to them. Ignis had an arm around Noctis’ shoulder who was still half-asleep as they were walking. Ignis helped him get to his room.

“Hey, Iggy,” Noctis started as he stumbled to his bed. “Today was… today was fun,” he muttered. Ignis smiled at him as he walked to his closet to find clothes for him to sleep in. “And we didn’t get caught either.”

“It doesn’t mean we’ll repeat this again, you know,” he told the prince. Though, deep down, he knew that the moment Noctis wants out, he’d once again take him. And listen to Gladio’s yelling, listen to the Council scolding him, even listen to His Majesty’s speech about how he disappointed him. But as long as Noctis was happy, all was fine.

The silence that answered Ignis’ remark was a bit strange, so he turned to check on Noctis. Just to find him wiping his eyes. Ignis froze for a moment, then hurried over.

“Noct?” he asked worried.

“It’s just…” Noctis sniffed. “Today was fun,” he cried. Ignis sighed, watching as Noctis was so overwhelmed and happily tired that he started crying. It made his throat tight too. It wasn’t like today was fun. It was intense in a way. Maybe too intense on Noctis’ sensitive heart, but that was fine. As long as he could cry, everything was fine. So Ignis knelt down to hug him. Noctis hugged him back, clinging to him as he was crying silently.

Ignis stayed with him until he calmed down, then he put him to bed with a bit of a heavy heart. Noctis had become a bit more adult today, which was good and a little sad. Ignis somehow wanted to keep him happy and oblivious, yet Gladio showed him it’s not always the way. The day was also intense for him, and he felt utterly tired as he was heading toward his room. If he was thinking about it, he got two allies that day: Nyx and Gladio. And somehow, knowing that there are people out there, with the same sense of duty, calmed him so much that he had one of the best sleeps in a long time.


	9. Chapter 08

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the tags, pls.

Ignis was more and more sure that he wanted to attend the Royal Academy’s Crownsguard training. The exact same one Gladio was attending to. Since the skill sets were different for a Crownsguard than he was learning, he thought it would be a solid argument he can bring up to his Piano Masters. But apparently, they weren’t too keen about him attending the Academy. It annoyed him to no end, especially that the school year was about to start.

“So are you still a virgin, or have you got rid of that already?” he heard Sir Foedus’ voice suddenly. The question was so sudden and shocking that Ignis stopped playing the song.

“Excuse me?” he frowned staring down at the black and white keys his fingers were hovering over.

“You heard me damn right. Where’s your mind, boy?” his teacher asked annoyed, then tapped his feet for him to signal that he should continue. Ignis let out an annoyed sigh. “I heard that,” his teacher remarked.

Ignis felt a kind of anger rise in him, something that he started experiencing lately. So much anger. It was terribly distracting, almost as distracting as some kind of bodily urges that could find him at the worst times. 

“I’m just still not entirely satisfied with the Masters’ decision about my Crownsguard training,” he hissed through gritted teeth as he was basically beating up the keys of the piano in mid-melody.

“Oh come on, let that one go. They don’t need you to take that training, it would keep you from your real studies. You can learn much more in your piano lessons.” Sir Foedus said.

“So much more,” Ignis repeated in a mocking tone. He said yes to the questions, because he wanted to protect Noctis. But all they did so far is to stuff his head with data and how to behave and how to read people, how to be a  _ dagger _ . How to become a tool. They would tell him that there’s already a King’s Shield, they don’t need another one. They need a dagger, which the Scientias provided.

Though Ignis wondered if being a dagger meant writing detailed reports about people’s time schedules who seemingly had nothing to do with anything. But they would tell him he can’t be careful enough. One time they even asked him to steal a pair of earrings from a maid and put it to another one’s room. They said everything had a reason. And that reason was to help the Lucis Caelums. But why would firing a maid help the royal family? It suspiciously felt like someone had personal grudges...

“You’re not satisfied?” Sir Foedus asked.

“No,” Ignis admitted grudgingly.

“So ungrateful,” his teacher retorted. Ignis closed his eyes for a moment, because right, yes he was that. He got so much, so many skills and knowledge and he still wasn’t satisfied. He shouldn’t be disrespectful.

“I apologize,” he muttered.

“That’s better,” Sir Foedus patted his knee. “So now, answer the question.”

“What question?” Ignis pretended he didn’t know, mostly out of spite.

“Still a virgin?”

Ignis narrowed his eyes, finally raising his gaze at his teacher. He was used to invasive questions; they told him it was a part of his training that they had to know every dirty little thing of him so they could help him better. But this one still seemed off. Yet, he answered.

“Yes,” he answered, clearing his throat as he went on playing the piano. “Is that relevant to anything?”

“How’s your pleasure training going?” Sir Foedus asked without a beat.

“Well,” Ignis answered, not breaking rhythm.

“Then it shouldn’t be hard to find someone to-”

“I don’t think my sexual experiences are relevant to any of my training,” the boy insisted.

“They certainly are,” his teacher continued. “You’re a tool, my boy, all of your experiences are relevant. This too.”

Ignis didn’t agree. He didn’t want to serve the Lucis Caelums that way. It wasn’t relevant then.

“I understand,” he said at last. Thankfully that shut his teacher up so they could go on with that day’s lesson.

Though, even after the lesson ended, Ignis couldn’t stop think about that question. He knew his teacher only wanted to shock him to get his thoughts back in the present. Some of his teachers did that. At this point the only teacher who wouldn’t want to test him was the nurse who was training him in ‘pleasure’ so they said. But as Sir Foedus pointed out, it was indeed just in theory, nothing physical happened. It all was just like another thing Ignis had to learn and remember for when the time would come. As if there would be any time he used that skillset. He would be much more useful if he actually had the Crownsguard training. That he could use more efficiently than… other things.

Ignis had a strange feeling about his education lately. He wondered if it was the anger that tainted his days, or the sudden fatigue that sometimes got him. But, he also suspected that the reason they keep him more in the dark was to make him easier to control. It was a wild thought, because the Scientias should only do things that were serving the good of the Lucis Caelums, however… who decided what was good for them? Wasn’t it the royal family itself? Then why would he receive orders from the Piano masters and not the king?

“You seem upset, Ignis,” his Uncle spoke quietly one day, when they were cleaning the crystal glasses for a smaller event that was coming up. They were fine glasses only allowed to be cleaned by hand. His Uncle asked for his help in it, and Ignis couldn’t say no. He also had a feeling that it wasn’t only about the glasses, and when he heard the remark he was sure.

“I’m fine, Uncle,” he said, reaching for the next wine glass to start scrubbing.

“I didn’t say you aren’t,” Casamus smiled, placing his own finished glass on the table. “It’s just that you seem upset.”

Ignis sighed, gently rubbing at his crystal glass a bit preoccupied.

“I’m just…” he started quietly. He wasn’t supposed to talk about his training, but he only hit a wall when he tried to bring it up with his teachers. “I think I’m having doubts.”

“Ah,” Casamus sighed, as if he was expecting this answer. Ignis knew his Uncle probably could tell what he has doubts about. “You know, it’s… actually natural to question the status quo the older we get.”

“It is?” Ignis asked, frowning a little.

“It’s a way to evaluate where we are and what we want to do in our lives. I remember that a few years back you were entirely sure what you wanted to do and-”

“I still am!” Ignis snapped without even thinking about it. It made Casamus quiet for a few seconds.

“Then what’s the problem?” he asked.

“I have- I know what I want, I just, I don’t know if the road I’m on is the right one,” Ignis struggled a little to put that into words. “But they keep telling me that sometimes we all get confused. That we just have to go on and things will make sense.”

“Now, that is actually one way to do it,” his Uncle nodded. Ignis pursed his lips, looking at him. Wondering. “But you don’t want to do it like that.” Casamus summed with a smile.

“I just… I need to know if it’s the right thing to do,” Ignis whispered.

“Have you tried to ask anyone else about this?”

“Who else I could?”

“You should maybe give a call to Matrona,” Casamus said quietly, yet it echoed inside Ignis as if he just yelled it. Really, he didn’t think about her lately. Though, why would he call her? Ignis parted his lips to ask the question, but he realized the answer before that.

Matrona had piano lessons too.

“Can she answer?” Ignis asked unsure. It has been just a few rare times he could talk to her, and it was usually a one sided conversation. The older he got, the less they could talk, and Matrona wasn’t the chatty type either. Ignis wasn’t sure they connected at all, despite that she was the one raising him in his first four years.

“You’re going to have to try,” Casamus said.

Well, his Uncle was right about that, Ignis will have to try. It already felt good talking to someone who wouldn’t dismiss him or asking him about his virginity… His Uncle was always there when he needed direction and for a long time now he was someone solid in Ignis’ life. That’s why the night when he found him in the kitchen, looking lost and remembering about his brother struck Ignis. He kept remembering the way his Uncle appeared so lost and helpless, while the reports of his brother were probably dusting away just a few floors away from him, behind a closed door.

Ignis decided to take his advice and call Matrona the next occasion he had some free time. He wondered how come he still remembered the schedule of the Passing Home, and how come he still knew when Matrona would be near the phone. Since no one had a cellphone there, the whole house only had one landline phone in the living room, which rang only just a few times while Ignis was there. This time, it was Ignis who called it. He sat on his bed, holding his phone to his ear, wondering what he would even ask of Matrona if- But then the line clicked and a familiar voice spoke.

“Yes?”

She never introduced herself, or what line it was, or even greeted anyone. She was beyond those basic curtsies, as if they just took time from things that were really important. But what was important for a woman who was running a Passing Home even?

Ignis suddenly felt nervous, his throat suddenly got tight, suddenly he felt like he was younger than his age. Or maybe… he felt just right his age, just a fifteen year old kid.

“I’m Ignis,” he said simply. It’s not that he didn’t want to say hi, or say something about not calling for months, but he just couldn’t. Somehow, he knew that Matrona doesn’t care about any of those things.

“Boy,” she sounded as if she was smiling a little. Ignis tried to imagine her face, with her long black hair she kept in a loose bun, with her old, but clean clothes. With dark circles under her eyes, and a distant gaze even if she was paying attention. Her mind was always occupied by something other than the present, as if it couldn’t stop.

“I called you because…” Ignis started, but suddenly what he wanted to say sounded so silly in his head. Having doubts? Matrona never had them, or has she? “Do you um, do you have any regrets?”

There was silence on the other end of the line, and Ignis almost though he’ll never get an answer to a sudden question like that.

“Regrets, my boy, don’t matter in my age. They don’t matter after everything I’ve done,” she answered, her voice clear, sure, which was rare. Her mind still wasn’t in the present, but she was focused.

“For the family?” Ignis asked.

“For the family,” she repeated. “You are too young for regrets, boy.”

Ignis had no damn idea what that meant. Sometimes Matrona said things that made no sense only for her. This time it frustrated Ignis to no end. This wasn’t a good idea. Matrona couldn’t help him.

“I may not be able to tell you anything you wanna hear,” she continued. “But we have the written word. We fall into the hubris of writing down our own sins as if they were successes. We rate them, keep them hidden so others won’t see how we failed.”

“The mission reports?” Ignis asked, frowning.

“You read those,” Matrona said. “They aren’t gonna tell you what to do, but they will light up the way you’re on.”

Ignis frowned. Why didn’t he think about this before? He heard the line click, meaning that Matrona had her time talking to him. He couldn’t even thank her, not that she needed that. Ignis dropped his hand on his lap, frowning as he was thinking. The family never told him to read the files, only to add the reports of his own. And yes, he was sometimes curious, but for some reason, he never got into the older files.

Until that day.

Ignis took a deep breath, pocketed his phone and was already on his way. It was late at night so no one was on the dark hallways, and there was no one in the elevator as he put in the code for the forbidden floor. He had been there before, he had clearance as the member of the Scientia family. It looked like any other floor, with multiple rooms. But what made it different was what they kept in those rooms. If Ignis was right, the whole Scientia history was buried away in filing closets here. As he walked out of the elevator he wondered what he should look for specifically. The first thing that came to his mind was Matrona’s name, but the thought of reading her reports sent icy chill into his limbs for some reason. Ignis wasn’t ready for that yet. So he was thinking of another name: Germanus Scientia, his Uncle’s brother. He was only a few years older when he died after all, it may be a good start.

So Ignis went on to find the files on him. It took him awhile to find them, taking a few files with him along the way which seemed interesting, or heard the names before on his lectures. He ended up reading the file standing by the cabinet.

It was pretty familiar; a young boy asked the question three times in his life, until the last was answered with a yes. He was taken piano lessons, got the same training, similar lessons he did. He was also considered gifted, reading by the teachers’ reports. Then he was chosen to run a mission outside the wall of Insomnia. It was supposed to be standard information collecting. While Ignis was also asked for smaller missions inside the Citadel; he was just to check on people, but Germanus had to deal with something far more dangerous. They had confidence in him. He had two others to escort him for back up.

The report stopped on details at that point. On what happened during the mission, why they were discovered by Niflheim in the first place.

But it wrote about how Scientias are not made for teamwork. Not in those words, though, but anyone who has a brain can see it by reading the reports from the one survivor of the three man team. He left the other two to their skills, saying that they were taught the same ‘shit’ as he did, so they had the same chances of survival too. The reason they fell on enemy ground just proves that not everyone is worthy of being a Scientia, and that all that knowledge was wasted on them.

Ignis felt his knees tremble as he read those words. A man wrote them about a seventeen year old boy making a mistake on his first ever mission. Ignis heard his teachers in his head: you can’t make a mistake, you can’t rely on anyone but yourself, if you’re not reliable, you’ll make a mistake, and you die. That’s what they were teaching him, and he thought that was… that was how things should be. But the report was somehow ugly.

At one part, Ignis agreed with the report; anyone who makes mistakes, who can’t run, they deserve to fall, but on the other hand, a part of him, the part of him that was getting more and more angry, told him it wasn’t like that. He was thinking about Noctis, Gladio, his Uncle, His Majesty… Matrona. The report made him angry, angrier he’ve ever felt, yet he was just standing there, staring at the words of it.

Then, as if he was possessed, he took the file and hurried out of the room. He almost fell when he stumbled into someone as he was turning to head to the elevator. It was a maid he had seen around a few times. Taken that she was on this floor meant that she was a Scientia too.

“You’re up early, or just haven’t gone to bed?” she asked. Her voice was kind and warm, and her smile was entirely too soft for Ignis. At least he knew he had a good training, because he recognized the masterfully crafted facade on her. So Ignis just licked his lips, saying nothing, but stepping around her to run. If he recognized her intentions, she must have known his too. This wasn’t a battle of wits anymore, but speed and strength. Some that Ignis still lacked, but he will try his best to reach the elevator.

He heard her yell something after him, but when two other people appeared, as if they just came from thin air, Ignis realized she wasn’t yelling for him. He stumbled to a halt, holding the file to his chest with both arms, looking around as he was getting surrounded by three people.

One was the maid, and two were his Piano Masters. They all looked like servants of the Royal Palace, nothing special, but Ignis learned how to tell staff from Scientias. He wanted to look away and run, but he held their gazes.

“Is this an act of teenage rebellion, Ignis?” Master Sulla asked. And Ignis hated her patronizing voice, the clear attempt to belittle him and call him stupid by only just a question.

“I just don’t understand why we do things like this,” Ignis hissed.

“We’ve done things like this ever since we swore loyalty to the crown,” his other Master answered, holding his hand out for the file. Ignis took a step back, just to bump into the maid who greeted him when he came out of the room.

“Is everything we do for the crown?” Ignis asked.

“You have doubts about your family, Ignis?”

Ignis didn’t think it was necessary to answer that question.

“Is this because we won’t let you enroll in the Academy?”

That was part of it, so Ignis still didn’t think speaking was going to help his case.

His first mistake was to look away, because everything happened too fast then. He was doing close combat training, but not against three skilled spies. The file was taken from him, and he was escorted back to his room with a forming black eye and a ruined shirt. Blood would never come out of that material. His ears were ringing as he was made to sit on his bed and only then he knew that they went easy on him.

“You’ll receive your punishment tomorrow,” he heard someone say as they left his room. There were a few of the staff standing around, curious of what happened. But when they spotted who it was involved they quickly cleared out. Except Casamus. He was standing by the door, looking at the maid that had remained there. It was clear that Ignis will be supervised that night.

Ignis turned his head to look at his Uncle, at his confused expression, and he remembered his brother again. He could tell him what happened to him. That the family let him down and his Uncle had all the right to blame them for it. Maybe he’d get closure too. Ignis could also tell him what was in the file, but… that wouldn’t be the same. So he just looked away in shame.

“I think he needs some rest,” the maid told Casamus in her too kind, too soft, too friendly voice. Ignis wanted to vomit. He heard his Uncle say something back, but the ringing in his ear prevented him to make out the words. All he knew that the door of his room was closed on him, making everything quiet and dark and worse.

That night, Ignis couldn’t sleep; he had nightmares whenever he was trying to. He heard noises that weren’t there, he saw people that weren’t there. So when that knock came early in the morning, he wasn’t sure if it was real. He didn’t get out of bed when the door actually opened, but felt slightly bad about it when he recognized his Uncle. He was carrying a tray with breakfast food on it.

Ignis sighed a little and pushed himself to sit up, rubbing at his eyes, wincing as they hurt from the beating he took yesterday.

“How do you feel?” Casamus asked as he placed the tray in front of him. “Are you up for some early breakfast? I figured you may want to spend a little more time in bed this morning.”

Ignis hated to be reminded of his condition. Hated to feel so helpless and weak and beaten. Was he wrong for going against the family like this? Probably he was. He shouldn’t have acted out… He just reached for his glasses to put them on, but only out of habit. He didn’t want to see his Uncle’s face.

“Ignis?” his Uncle tried when he didn’t speak.

“I think…” Ignis started quietly, his voice hoarse for some reason. “I know what to do now,” he finished. He was eying the french toast on the elegant plate as he was listening to the sigh of his Uncle. A heavy one. A worried one. But that was fine; he’ll take his punishment, and then things will go back the way they were. To the way they always were. And his Uncle didn’t ask him if he was sure, didn’t tell him to look again. Even if Ignis knew the questions were there.

Was there ever anyone to go against the Scientias? To question their ways? Was there ever…? Maybe there were, Ignis wondered, thinking about his Uncle, and Matrona. There may have been others that were erased by the family itself. Was it worth it? Ignis didn’t want to be erased, he wanted to stay, for Noctis’ sake.

So he said nothing to his Uncle, he barely touched his breakfast, and dressed up nicely to prepare Prince Noctis for his morning training.

“What happened?!” Noctis gasped when he saw him enter the room.

“Just unlucky training, it’ll be gone in a few days. I apologize if it upsets you,” Ignis spoke as he was walking to the closet to find clothes for Noctis to wear.

“Huh?” Noctis asked loudly. Ignis just sent him a look before picking out his clothes and laid them on the bed.

“Please get dressed for breakfast.”

“Iggy,” Noctis muttered quietly. Worried. Ignis wanted to tell him again he shouldn’t worry; it’ll be fine, he won’t make a mistake like this again. He won’t worry Noctis again. But he just told him to get dressed.

Ignis escorted the prince to breakfast, then took him to his usual training with Gladio.

“To the Six who beat you up like that?” Gladio snorted as he spotted Ignis too. Somehow his reaction pissed off Ignis more than he expected.

“None of your business,” he said without missing a beat and pinning Gladio with a look that told him if he dared to ask him more about it, he’s going to have a black eye on his own. The silence after that was slightly awkward, but Ignis didn’t want to talk about this more than he had to. He had a punishment to look forward to and the closer he got to it the more nervous he got.

“I’ll join you before dinner,” Ignis told Noctis before he turned to leave. He heard the silent question in the air, but he had no answer for either Noctis or Gladio. He just wanted to get over this, so everything could go back to the way it was. So he can continue to serve Noctis and the family.

The Piano Masters didn’t tell him when he’ll receive his punishment, but Ignis was sure it will be completed during one of his piano lessons. When else? So his heart was heavy as he walked the hallway with the classrooms. His steps were stiff, his shoulders tense as he arrived to the door, opening it as if today was nothing special. Sir Foedus, his current teacher, sitting by the piano as usual, and he motioned to him to sit down too. As usual. Ignis tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he sat down. Aside greeting his teacher he said nothing, not told anything in return.

However as Ignis raised his hands to start on the song on the music sheet, Sir Foedus pulled out his phone and placed it down over the pages. The song which was scheduled for today was on the music player, and he pressed play. The song started coming from the phone instead of Ignis playing it. Ignis once again felt the uneasiness rise that was gripping him all day.

“I’m sure you’re aware that you had made a mistake last night,” Sir Foedus started. “I’ve been told the details and the nature of your punishment was put into my hands,” he spoke as he unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled up his sleeves. Ignis watched the movements, his hands still hovering over the keys. Was he going to be beaten again? “They told me to make sure you learn what obedience means, Ignis.”

“I know what that means,” Ignis said quietly. Sir Foedus stopped in his movements, looking at him.

“Did I tell you to talk?” he asked. Ignis parted his lips, then closed them. Then just shook his head. “Disobedience, disrespect, acting out on silly impulses, it’s not the way this family handles things, Ignis,” his teacher continued. “The earlier you realize that the happier you’ll be.”

The more the man was talking, the more Ignis felt that anger he did before. Was he acting on ‘silly impulses’? He admitted he wasn’t as obedient as he should have been, but the family did even worse things to its own members. He wanted to say that. But… he couldn’t. He swore he’ll go back to the way they were, so he can continue on this path, so it’ll make sense to him one day.

Ignis jumped a little when he felt a hand on his thigh.

“To tell you the truth,” Sir Foedus started, leaning closer as he was whispering. His hot breath on Ignis’ ear made him want to pull away. But he didn’t. “I didn’t want to punish you, my boy. I know you’re just young and confused. I understand. It happens.”

Ignis’ heartbeat picked up in fear. He felt like a deer in headlights. He was trying to focus on the music that was coming from the phone, and not on the hand that was creeping higher on his thigh, or how Sir Foedus was pressing closer to his side.

“You don’t have to be afraid,” his teacher said, moving that hand up to take Ignis’ glasses off of him and place them on top of the piano. Ignis followed the movement with his eyes, his limbs going cold. He had never been more scared in his life. He had never felt more helpless. And yet he was just sitting there, shaking with every word Sir Foedus would say. About how he’ll make it good, how they are both going to enjoy it, how he’ll learn his lesson not to disobey again.

“It’s still better than being starved, or denied other things, Ignis,” he spoke again, his hands sliding up on Ignis’ back to his nape. “This won’t hurt a bit, I’ll be gentle. And if you do as I say, you may want to have seconds.”

Ignis closed his eyes, feeling a bitter taste in his mouth. Is he going to let this happen? He asked himself, just the same time as he was pulled by his neck toward Sir Foedus. The movement scared him a lot, so he jumped from his seat stumbling as he felt his knees weak, and reaching out to hold himself up on the piano, pressing down on the keys which gave a loud noise, immediately being engulfed by the melody that came from the phone.

The chuckle Ignis heard by his poor attempt to get away was humiliating.

“Don’t run away,” Sir Foedus sighed,  _ smiling _ , as he grabbed Ignis’ shoulder and trapped him between the piano and himself. Ignis’ whole body was tensing up; he wanted to push away, he wanted to run, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t  _ allowed _ . This was his punishment and he will have to go through with it, no matter how difficult it would be. He just wished he wasn’t acting like this, if his fear wouldn’t be so visible. It really was better than a beating, or anything else they planned, and he was prepared for this, he was just a tool, he shouldn’t have a problem being used like this, he--

That moment someone  _ knocked _ on the door. Ignis heard it, because he heard every damn thing happening in that room; the music, the breathing of Sir Foedus, the way his clothes ruffled as he was moving, he keys being off as he tried to balance himself, still on the piano. But apparently, Sir Foedus either didn’t hear the knocking or ignored it, because he cupped the back of Ignis’ head, moving closer. And Ignis couldn’t muster up a word, nor a sound.

The door opened then, with the loudest creaking it ever did. Was that always so loud, Ignis wondered. As he turned his head to see what was happening he caught a glimpse of…

Gladio?

Sir Foedus also pulled away to look toward the door. Ignis saw as his lips parted to say something, but in the next moment a fist slammed into his jaw. It happened too fast and too slow at the same time. Ignis watched as Gladio delivered the biggest punch he had ever seen in his life, right at Sir Foedus’ face. The man stumbled and fell like a sack of flour, knocking everything off the piano; phone, glasses, sheet music.

Ignis had no time to actually realize what had happened or what was actually happening, because he heard Gladio call his name and grabbed his hand, pulling him after himself. Outside the room. Away from the melody. Away from the clothes smelling too dusty. Away from those poisonous words. And Ignis ran with Gladio, without question. It hurt where he was gripping his hand, but Ignis didn’t mind, he wanted to feel more of it.

He could barely breathe as Gladio pulled him into the elevator, pressing at random buttons as he pushed Ignis behind him, shielding him against the door. As if there was anyone on the hallway. Ignis felt like he was just pulled up from underwater. He was shaking, and struggling to breathe, he felt his eyes burn from unshed tears and he felt like if he would let go of Gladio’s hand he would fall. So he held on as tight as Gladio was holding on too. Until he couldn’t feel his fingers, but the warmth of Gladio’s grip.

“Ignis?” he heard the other boy’s voice. Ignis raised his eyes at him, making some of the tears fall. He was afraid of the expression he would find on Gladio, being afraid of him looking at him pathetic, or patronizing, as if he needed to be protected. But all he saw on Gladio’s face was fury. He was angry, worried too, but most of all, he was angry. Ignis saw the same kind of anger in him as he felt for a while now. That helpless anger he was dealing with too.

But Ignis couldn’t speak yet. He needed air, he needed to calm down, he just needed to get his thoughts together. So when the elevator door opened, as he realized they were on the floor with the greenhouse. The greenhouse, which had a backdoor leading down to the garden. So Ignis leaped out to the hallway, pulling Gladio with him this time. And Gladio followed without any word, without asking anything, falling in run with him, as if they were still escaping, and in a way they still were.

Ignis had no idea if any of the Scientias were following them, or the news were already out, but he didn’t care. Not yet. He needed to pull himself together. He needed to process what exactly happened. He lead Gladio to the greenhouse, to the window which was getting too small for them, down the stairs… and finally arriving down the garden. At this point, Gladio also seemed to know where they were going.

They got to the oldest, biggest tree in the garden and Gladio hurried ahead, letting Ignis’ hand go as he did. Ignis hated the jump in his heartbeat when that happened, and forced himself not to reach for Gladio’s hand again. But he got to touch him again soon enough. Gladio gave him a boost to get to the lowest branch of the tree, then jumped to grab it himself too. They climbed the tree as if it was a thing they did every day, Gladio helping Ignis whenever he needed. They climbed until they were high enough, and well hidden amongst the leaves and branches.

Slowly, Ignis found space in his lungs to breathe, finally he could swallow the lump in his throat and let his body release the tension it was holding since last night. He pressed his back against the trunk of the tree as he was sitting on a branch. Gladio did the same on the branch next to him, his shoulder touching Ignis’. It felt nice. Out in the fresh spring air, smelling the old tree and feeling that warm spot on his shoulder where Gladio silently assured him that he was safe.

“You finally climbed the tree, huh,” Gladio started then. He sounded out of breath and nervous. But still, relieved.

“Yeah,” Ignis smiled a little, letting his head fall back against the tree. “But you still won that bet.”

“That I did,” Gladio grinned.

There was a moment of silence, when both of them just breathed. Ignis almost felt like he could fall asleep like this. He could stay here forever, not bothered by the family, or anything else.

“Noct asked me to get you,” Gladio spoke suddenly. Ignis opened his eyes, looking at the blurry, green spots that were probably leaves. But then he realized what the other was saying. “He was so worried, man.”

Ignis didn’t need to look at Gladio to know it wasn’t just Noctis who was worried.

“I told him- I told him I can’t just go after you like that, like you have lessons. And those lessons are important and all. But Noct kept telling me to see if you’re okay, right?” The boy was rambling now. It was… It was cute in a way. Ignis was surprised by that train of thought too. He moved his hand to grab Gladio’s again, just holding it.

“Thank you, Gladio,” he whispered.

“Thank Noct, he told me-”

“I will,” Ignis said smiling. He was serious about it. He wanted to protect Noctis so bad that sometimes he wasn’t even paying attention to him. Sometimes he didn’t pay attention how Noctis was growing up, being more aware, more sensitive. And that he was his brother. Ignis was looking out for him yes, but Noctis did too, in his own way.

“You should yell, when you’re in trouble,” Gladio continued, his hand held Ignis’ tighter. “Just shout, like, really loud, and people will come to help.”

Ignis turned his head to look at him. He could see his features this close, especially those bright, autumn colored eyes.

“I just…” Ignis said quietly, his voice hoarse. “I think I wasn’t sure anyone would come,” he admitted.

“I would,” Gladio insisted. Ignis smiled. He knew that now. “What are you going to do from here?”

The question was simple, yet not at all. He could go back, apologize and let Sir Foedus do whatever he wanted with him. But none of that had anything to do with Noctis. The way the Scientias were handling things weren’t right and Ignis felt that deep in his heart. If he let this happen, he would submit to them and that was the last thing he wanted. He didn’t want to do such a thing anymore. But he was alone, he couldn’t possibly go against all of his family…

“I’m… going to yell,” Ignis whispered, narrowing his eyes as he was thinking about his plan. “I need to bring something from floor 44,” Ignis said. “And I need help.”

Gladio grinned at him.


	10. Chapter 09

The plan Ignis sketched out for Gladio was still rough, but the more he thought about it, the more he knew they will need more help. And they had to be fast about it. Ignis had no idea how long his family will let him roam free, especially after what they did to Sir Foedus. Which may not have been the bigger problem: he just escaped punishment, and he was also joining forces with an Amicitia which was probably the highest disgrace a Scientia could do.

But fuck the family, Ignis thought.

Though there was just one catch; he still respected some basic principles of the Scientias, mostly the privacy and secrecy. There were agents working all over the Citadel, the City and even outside the walls, they will need protecting and if there was only one person who would do that, it will be Ignis. So he couldn’t tell everything to Gladio, and he had to trust him to still stick by his side even with knowing much of the situation.

“Alright, so, let me get this straight,” Gladio frowned, rubbing his forehead. “You need to get a file, from that forbidden floor, and you need muscle to help you bust in and out?”

“Yes,” Ignis nodded, taking his phone from his pockets.

“Anything else you wanna tell me? What’s that file? What’s on that floor? Why you wanna steal something from the Citadel?”

“I don’t want to steal it, I want to bring it to someone, then put it back,” Ignis frowned. And that was the most he was going to give Gladio. He looked up at him, apologetic. “I understand if you don’t want to go on with this, to be honest I wouldn’t…”

“I will,” Gladio snapped. “Listen, you’re the most reliable person I know and if you- damn, if you wanna steal-

“Borrow.”

“If you wanna  _ borrow _ something from a highly protected archive then fuck it, there must be a good reason.”

Ignis had no idea why he was so surprised Gladio confirming that he would help him. But he felt relief upon it. Even if the hardest part was about to come.

“You may get in trouble,” he warned the other.

“Yeah I’m in trouble all the time,” Gladio snorted a bit bitter, looking away. It was strange, seeing someone so confident having a moment of… doubt? In himself? “So, yep, meet you at the place tonight?”

“Yes,” Ignis nodded. “If I’m not there, it means I failed.”

“You won’t,” Gladio said. “Or I’ll kick your butt.”

Ignis actually smiled at him, nodding. If he failed, he would deserve that, indeed. So he went and climbed down the tree, without falling this time. He told Gladio to wait until he’s gone before he would climb off, so they won’t take him with him. Ignis took a deep breath and looked at the garden, and toward the entrance of the Citadel. He had a feeling the moment he steps back inside, his family will greet him again, with yet another punishment. But Ignis was prepared this time.

Upon entering the entrance hall and heading toward the elevator, a Crownsguard approached him.

“Mr. Scientia, I’m afraid you’ll have to come with me,” he said. Ignis couldn’t make out his face without his glasses for his biggest annoyance. But it will be something he has to deal with for a while.

“Certainly,” Ignis nodded. “Can I at least go to my room to retrieve my glasses?” he asked.

“Unfortunately, no, from here on you’re at the disposal of the Piano Masters, under royal law,” the man said. Ignis raised an eyebrow. Royal law, right. So when it came to it the Lucis Caelums were indeed useful for the family. Though he wondered if King Regis knows anything about this at all. Well, he will, soon, Ignis thought to himself as he was escorted into the elevator and was taken to one of the upper levels.

It wasn’t exactly a prison, far from it. But as far as Ignis was concerned, it was. They didn’t tell him anything. They took his phone, and refused to bring him his glasses. Or food or water for that matter. It was all too civil, all too hypocrite. His masters didn’t even show, or anyone of the family except a few Crownsguards who were obviously just fulfilling their orders. No one from his family showed, leaving him alone in a room, without anything in it. But a barred window. Ignis wondered just how huge the Citadel was at all, with all its rooms and mysterious floors. Apparently there was space in it for prisoners. He looked around the small room, wondering just how many Scientias were brought here when they were misbehaving, just how many of them were broken in in rooms like this. He wondered if he’ll be one of them if he wasn’t careful.

Ignis knew that his rising anxiety was partly because of his body’s needs; that he didn’t eat or drink anything since that morning, and this was a torture technique. But telling himself that only helped a little as night finally fell and the only light in the room became the moonlight. He couldn’t even check the time, they took his watch too, but he knew that the time to meet up with Gladio was closing by. So he forced himself to get up from the ground where he was sitting and walked to the window, grabbing on the bars. He had no idea if Nyx has gotten his text, or if he wasn’t out in a mission, because if he was, then he failed. It was also possible Nyx wouldn’t want to risk his position in the Glaives for something like this…

But then, in a mist of blue sparkles a man appeared by the window outside.

It was Nyx.

“You owe me one, Scientia,” he said then, a bit out of breath with that stupid smirk of his. Ignis had never felt more relieved to see him.

“That’s fair,” he nodded.

“I can’t break these bars, I’m gonna have to come by the door, pretending to be civilized,” Nyx assured him, tapping his kukri against the glass.

“Please hurry, I believe we’re already running late,” Ignis told him before the Glaive warped away again. Ignis swallowed then, taking a deep breath. Right, his plan was put into motion. Now it was up to him and that small team he gathered if they can pull through. And they will.

In a few minutes he heard noises outside his door, before it was broken in. Ignis sighed, looking at Nyx and the two guards outside.

“Before you start, I know they probably had a key, but I wanted to break something in, okay?” Nyx started, raising his hand at Ignis. The boy just spread his arms at him a bit.

“As we all, Nyx,” he said, feeling his throat hoarse at how dry it was. He watched as Nyx took a look at him.

“You don’t seem well, kid,” he told him, worry tainting his voice. “Can you tell me what’s this about?”

“I can’t tell you more than I wrote in text,” Ignis said.

“Well, I already knocked two of these guys out I’m neck deep in shit, so let’s go all the way,” the Glaive groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose for a moment.

“It’ll get worse, come with me,” the boy assured him as he hurried out of the room. He lead Nyx to the elevator and pressed a button. “I appreciate you doing this for me, Nyx.”

“Hey, I’m also doing this for myself. I’m terribly curious what’s all this about,” the Glaive snorted.

“You may have to be disappointed.”

When they stopped, and the elevator doors opened to a dark corridor, Ignis’ heart sank for a moment. Gladio was supposed to--

“You’re late!” the boy appeared suddenly, scrambling to get into the elevator as the doors were starting to close. Ignis let out a long, relieved sigh.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized then pressed a code into the elevator panel, and brought them to floor 44.

“Huh, you again,” Gladio eyed Nyx as the elevator moved.

“In the flesh,” the Glaive motioned at himself with a smirk. Gladio didn’t say anything more, but Ignis could basically feel the heat of his glare as he was looking at the man.

“I’m sorry for dragging you two along with me,” he started suddenly.

“Ignis, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to,” the Glaive answered without missing a beat.

“I already told you, if you have to do this, there’s a good reason for it,” Gladio assured too. Ignis closed his eyes for a moment, praying to all the deities, all the Astrals, for this to be worth it. It must. It has to.

“Then, be prepared, just as planned,” he said as the elevator stopped.

They were met with three maids when the doors opened. All of them were familiar to Ignis and apparently, all of them served the family. He heard Gladio’s surprised noise, but Nyx was already on the move. He threw his kukri past the maids just so he could land a surprise attack from behind. Ignis took that moment to bolt out of the elevator too. Gladio behind him.

Ignis knew where he wanted to go and what he wanted to do. He just needed enough time to do it. And for that he needed Gladio and Nyx to cause a distraction and clear the way.

He ran past the maids who were too busy with Nyx, except for one. She ran after them, swift and quick, catching up almost immediately. Ignis was ready to take her on, but Gladio was already in front of him, delivering the same kind of punch he did just that morning. Ignis made a mental note that the Scientias’ could be quick and agile, but none of them could take a punch like that. In this case, it was good, but it was a good note for the future.

“Go!” Gladio yelled at him and Ignis turned to continue toward the room. He found it, still unlocked and unguarded, because the family didn’t think he’d get this far. They were wrong. He wondered how he felt about his own family misunderestimating him. Ignis found the file he was looking for and got back to the hallway again. Nyx and Gladio caught up to him then.

“All the maids are assassins here, or what?!” Nyx asked, out of breath as he was wiping his mouth from blood.

“What?!” Gladio gasped at him, then Ignis when he told them that yes, some of the maids are.

“We have to get this to the servant’s quarters,” Ignis held up the file then. “I need my Uncle to read it.”

“What’s in it?” Nyx asked, but Ignis didn’t answer. “Secret, huh?”

“Yes,” Ignis nodded, looking over to the elevator. He wondered if it was safe to take it.

“There must be a fire escape here too, with stairs” Nyx said. Ignis bit in his lips. The fire escape, yes that could work. But they could get cornered there. He was also sure there must have been secret corridors opening from one of these rooms, but they had no time to find them. If the family didn’t know he had help before, they must already know by now and they are quick to react. He had to make a decision here.

“We’ll take the elevator,” Ignis nodded, holding the file tighter in his hand. “Our backs are protected there at least,” he explained as they were heading back. “After the file is delivered you two are free to run.”

“Right, as if I don’t want to see the end of this show,” Nyx snorted as they all got back inside the elevator.

Ignis licked his lips as he was watching the lights on the panel blink. Then he took a breath to say something. He felt the other two’s eyes on him, and he wanted to tell them something. But in the end, he didn’t. It would just scare them. It was better not to speculate at this point, not to say things he would regret later. He held the file close to his chest, where he felt it the most safe. Then they got to the servant’s quarters’ floor. Ignis knew where his Uncle would be at this time, he would still be in the servant’s kitchen, revising tomorrow’s schedule.

“Just follow me, we need to get to the kitchen,” he said quickly, knowing full well that neither Gladio or Nyx knew the way there.

Ignis also knew that his family isn’t as quick to re-organize, so they may have time to get to his Uncle, but not to leave in peace. They hurried down the corridor for the servants’ quarters, toward the kitchen. Everything was dim and quiet, seemingly nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

“I don’t like this,” Nyx murmured quietly.

“It feels like an ambush,” Ignis said, looking over his shoulder at that. Then, as he looked ahead, he just noticed someone step in front of him from one of the rooms. It was one of his Piano Masters: Master Promus, the butler. The one who had the same kind of work as his Uncle. Ignis’ eyes widened, knowing full well that Nyx and Gladio are a bit behind and they would be late to attack this man. He had a dagger in his hand and Ignis knew that he must be skilled with it. He didn’t want either Nyx or Gladio to attack, because he didn’t know what to expect from him. So without thinking about it much, Ignis jumped the next moment, trying to kick at the hand with the dagger. It was frustrating not being able to see properly without his glasses, but he figured if he does it with enough strength, he could at least distract him as long as needed.

Expectantly, Ignis couldn’t knock the dagger out of his Master’s hand, but he could make him stagger. The next moment a kukri arrived by his side, and a second later Nyx was about to take on the servant.

“No!” Ignis yelled, as he ducked to avoid a swing from an arm that could either been Nyx’ or his Master’s. “Just come, come!” he told Nyx, and looked around for Gladio who was already hurrying ahead, hearing Ignis tell the Glaive to step down. “Just cover me, but don’t engage!” Ignis barked as he started running.

At the yelling many of the doors opened with the confused staff peeking out, only to see Ignis, the Amicitia kid and a Glaive rush past them. The more attention they attracted the more Ignis knew that his family will not tolerate this. This will blow up significantly. He checked quickly if Gladio and Nyx are following, just before they got to the kitchen. At the door, his Uncle was looking around for what the commotion was, just like the rest of the servants.

“Uncle!” Ignis yelled a little out of breath, squeezing the file again, just to make sure he still had it. He ran, grabbing the arm of the man and pulling him after him back inside the kitchen. “Gladio…” Ignis started, but the boy was already busy locking the door and pressing his back against it, just when Nyx ran past it.

“What’s going on?” Casamus asked, with a kind of surprise Ignis had never heard from him. “Sir Amicitia?” he blinked when he recognized him, though he was still unsure about Nyx who just waved at him in the most awkward way on his way toward the windows.

“I just- I just came to give you this!” Ignis said and held the file out to his Uncle, just to realize his hands are shaking. Casamus furrowed his brows at him then looked at the file, but Ignis saw his expression pale as he read the name on it. He put his notes down from his hand on the counter then took the folder, opening it with a quiet gasp.

“It’s…” he stuttered, looking at Ignis in disbelief. “But it’s forbidden to-”

“I don’t care!” Ignis stomped, breathing heavily. “You deserve to know what’s in that, you were his only family. Them out there- they weren’t!” he yelled, motioning at the door Gladio was holding.

There were yells from outside, and heavy banging at the door, but Ignis knew it was just a distraction. He quickly looked at Nyx to tell him to watch the windows, but the Glaive already moved to do that. Ignis then turned back to his Uncle.

“Read it, it belongs to you more than the family,” he said. “I take every and all responsibility for this!”

Casamus eyed him, and Ignis saw he wanted to argue. He looked around the room too for a second, but then he turned his attention to the file. Ignis watched him intently; he couldn’t see him properly without his glasses, but something deep inside him told him that whatever happened next, he still did the right thing. This was the right thing. Giving someone peace about their lost brother, what the family denied him.

“They’ve surrounded us,” Nyx reported worried, looking at Ignis.

“That’s fine,” Ignis said.

“What?!” Gladio and Nyx asked the same time.

“I said it’s fine,” Ignis repeated and took a deep breath. Now came the other half of the plan. “Let them in…” he asked Gladio.

“I won’t!” the boy insisted.

Ignis heard his Uncle utter his name in worry as he hurried to Gladio and grabbed his arm.

“Come on!” he told him and pulled him away from the door.

“They’ll hurt you, won’t they?!” Gladio hissed, fighting against Ignis’ grip.

“I don’t know,” the other lied. Gladio looked at him for a moment, and Ignis seriously considered using all his remaining strength to get him away from the door, but in the end Gladio went. Though he pushed Ignis behind him as several people swarmed into the room, the three Piano Masters among them.

“Take him!” Master Sulla ordered and a few servants were already hurrying to do so.

“I demand royal audiency!” Ignis yelled. The servants stopped, looking at the Masters. Because demanding that was indeed something that slightly overwrites everything. “I have witnesses, I have the Amicitia family as a witness and a Glaive. It’s not a family matter anymore.”

Ignis saw Gladio look at him over his shoulder, and for some reason he was glad he couldn’t see his face. It would have been distracting. Maybe heartbreaking too.

“So I demand royal audiency, with His Majesty,” Ignis repeated. “And according to our rules, you have to grant it to me.”

There was a long silence after that, but Ignis was ready to fight and argue. Even if he knew that they must give this to him. Royal audiency. And they will make it the worst.

Royal audiencies were usually initiated by the Masters when a member of the Scientia family had acted terribly out of line, or even on the depths of treason. It was easier to get rid of traitors and overly confident idiots like that and show the royal family that they are still on duty, still working, still doing what was best for the Kingdom. Ignis read a few cases where the people demanded this audiency themselves, in favor to have the king on their side, but it never worked out.

It was decided that until the King was ready to see them, they have to stay put in the kitchen. Ignis knew it would take a few hours, but that was fine. The servants left, leaving Gladio and Nyx there too with Ignis, taken that now they will have to be a part of the royal audience as witnesses. Casamus was offered to leave, but he refused. However, the file was taken from him.

After everyone left, and the door was locked behind them, it suddenly had gotten a bit too quiet. Ignis closed his eyes for a moment, feeling his headache and dehydration getting worse. But the day was far from ending.

“Damn, you’re a scary one, Scientia.” Nyx was the one breaking the silence. He decided to go back to the windows, as if he still had to guard something. It was his instinct again, Ignis noted. That fire inside him that was always on the lookout, always aware, always protecting. Like some kind of hero from those books he couldn’t read anymore. “You deliberately asked me and Amicitia for this, so you could escalate your case to the king?”

Ignis didn’t feel the need to answer the obvious. Because that was exactly what happened. He sighed, opening his mouth to say something, but he couldn’t. Gladio spoke instead.

“You’re a fucking asshole,” he grumbled. It sounded serious this time. Gladio was serious about what he said and Ignis could understand why. Someone with his pride was hated to be used by others. And while they were useful to break in and out of the archive, their primary use wasn’t exactly that.

Ignis knew that he would do this the same way if he had to, but it didn’t make it easier.

“I apologize for what I’ve done,” he blurted out suddenly, tired and angry that he was forced to do this. “I apologize to both of you, I’ll take all responsibility for everything that happened, and I’ll request you two to be let go freely and without consequences.” Ignis then bowed at Gladio then at Nyx.

He didn’t expect an answer, or forgiveness. But Nyx just snorted at him amused.

“Was it for the right cause?” he asked quietly.

“It was to end injustice,” Ignis nodded, looking at his Uncle who was still in a state of shock as he was listening to them.

“Well, that is worth a bit of punishment I guess,” the Glaive said, though a bit unsure. Ignis didn’t blame him. He had no idea how deep this was, and what his Captain would say when they present him that he was helping to break into the Scientia archives.

“It was to help Noct at all?” Gladio asked. Ignis felt like he was being stabbed by that dagger that missed him just a bit ago.

“Yes,” he answered determined. It had to be. Gladio didn’t ask or say anything more, just walked the furthest he could from him. While Ignis didn’t blame Nyx for his hesitancy, he felt a bit of bitterness over Gladio. For some reason. But thankfully, his Uncle chose this moment to speak.

“I suppose we all deserve some tea after this,” he said with a sigh. “Ignis, would you be so kind as to help me?” he asked. Ignis did. He was on autopilot the whole time, in a kind of desperate attempt to rest his mind before the audience. Before it will be decided if he can stay in the Citadel at all. He was standing by the counter, next to his Uncle and preparing the cups. “Thank you, Ignis,” he heard suddenly. It was quiet, and full of sorrow. “You gave me the most precious gift anyone could.”

Ignis looked down at the counter at the tea leaves, unable to say anything suddenly. He said everything that was necessary. His Uncle then reached out to slide his arm around his shoulder, pulling him to his side. Ignis was only just a bit shorter than him now, their shoulders were basically the same line.

“You should know that whatever happens when we leave here, I’ll always be there for you,” Casamus said, squeezing Ignis reassuringly. Ignis just nodded, feeling his throat tight. He wasn’t doing it for that, he just wanted his Uncle to have justice. But it felt good to have someone he could still trust, after what he’d done. Reassuring in a way he rarely felt before.

They had their tea in silence; Ignis was too tired to speak, Gladio was too upset and Nyx knew better than to disturb the rest they were obviously having there.

In a few hours, the door opened and they were asked to follow a few guards to the King’s office. It was terribly early in the morning, the staff just started to tend to their daily tasks, some looking at Casamus questioningly as they were being escorted.

Ignis had never felt more tired in his life, but this was something that had to be done. He had to make sure that all involved weren’t suffering any of the consequences this would bring to them. They slowly walked into the office, His Majesty and Sir Amicitia was already there.

“Gladio…” Sir Amicitia sighed, in a way where he couldn’t believe that his son was involved, but at the same time, he could. Gladio just avoided his father’s eyes staring something on the floor intently and with the anger of a thousand suns.

Nyx looked slightly relieved until Captain Drautos shouldered his way inside the study in-between Ignis’ Piano Masters. Then he just paled and smiled the most awkward smile Ignis would have found cute under different circumstances. The Captain walked to stand by His Majesty’s other side who was sitting at his desk, wearing a formal suit. No one looked particularly happy about what was about to go down and Ignis knew that his family was counting on that annoyance to work in their favor.

The door closed and the audience has officially started.

“Well then, would you please explain what is this about, Master Sulla?” Regis said, folding his fingers together on the top of his desk. He looked at one of the Piano Masters, the maid with long, dark hair. She bowed stepping closer, in front of Ignis and the rest that were interrogated. She explained how Ignis was taken to have piano lessons by the goodwill of the family and in hope to serve the Lucis Caelums with more talented people, however Ignis Scientia has betrayed that trust.

Ignis closed his eyes for a moment, as his Master couldn’t disclose details, but basically called him a traitor of the Kingdom. They were heavy charges, indeed and not to be used lightly. Ignis realized that his family was going against him with everything they had. Which was fine. He will do the same.

“You heard your Master, Ignis Scientia, is there anything that you would like to say?” King Regis asked, and Ignis was extremely thankful for the official tone. King Regis was indeed neutral in this case and if that didn’t make Ignis more loyal, then nothing.

“Yes,” Ignis said, stepping forward. “I admit I broke an important rule of my family, but I had not betrayed them or the Kingdom in the process. For that reason, I’d like to request Gladiolus Amicitia, Nyx Ulric and Casamus Scientia to be removed from under any charges that may wait for them. I’d also want to request anyone who has no authority over the Scientia family to leave the room, because I do not want to break further rules when I explain myself.”

Ignis actually practiced this short speech and nothing else. He wanted to get this one thing right. He had to make sure that his family won’t charge him with more than what he actually did. And if he started explaining himself in front of all these people, he would have broken yet another rule.

King Regis considered what he heard in silence.

“Very well,” he nodded, looking at the two mentioned. “Casamus and the others, please leave the room, we’ll decide over your fates after what we settle here.”

Captain Drautos was the first to move, snapping his fingers and motioning Nyx to get the fuck out of the room. Nyx didn’t have to be told twice, though he did send a worried look at Ignis before he went.

“Wait for me outside, Gladio,” Clarus said. Gladio just bowed as if he had gotten an order and turned to leave without looking back at all. 

Ignis took a deep breath as the door closed. There were three people of the Crown looking at him, and three people of the ‘daggers’ aiming at his back. So he just set his feet and started talking.

Ignis told His Majesty never wanted to betray his family, far from it. He respected their rules, and he thought it was useful for His Majesty to have such people by his side. However, as Prince Noctis’ retainer he felt a few of the rules and knowledge unfit to his position. Since he wasn’t only a Scientia, he was the advisor of Prince Noctis. All he wanted was some flexibility which his family wasn’t planning on giving it to him.

His Masters argued that if he just stuck to his training he would find that their ways were better than whatever Ignis would decide. However, Ignis said that if he truly believed that, he wouldn’t have to involve the Amicitias and the Glaives in this. He told his opinion about the ways the Scientias told him to rely only on them, but not providing proper support.

“I accept any punishment, Your Majesty, Sirs,” Ignis said in conclusion. “However, I wish to stay in the family, on my own terms. And…” he swallowed to wet his dry throat. “And I want to stay by Prince Noctis’ side. I want to keep supporting him. The reason I wished to take piano lessons was for his sake, and his sake only.”

Only then, when Ignis said everything he wanted and stated all his wishes, only then he’d gotten scared. Scared that King Regis won’t let him stay with Noctis. Because the charges were indeed huge: treason. Why would he let anyone who was charged with treason handle the Crownprince?

“A heavy matter indeed,” King Regis had started with a heavy sigh when he heard all sides. “First of all, we have to consider the effect this has on Prince Noctis,” he said. “I want all of you to know,” he continued, looking at the Piano Masters, “that I chose Ignis not because he’s a Scientia, but because he was a lonely boy in need of a family.”

Ignis blinked a little at that. Was that the reason? It wasn’t because he was gifted? Talented? Smart? Or all those things others said about him? But because he was lonely? He didn’t dare to look up, he had no strength to.

“I’m still keeping myself to that,” King Regis said. “Ignis will stay by my son’s side, as it is my will. However, I must hand his punishment over to the Masters, as he indeed broke the rules in trying to aid Noctis. His acts weren’t the acts of treason, quite the contrary, I believe they were a heavy criticae on the current Scientia system.”

Ignis let out a long, relieved sigh. His family may disown him, deny further training, force him to move out of the Citadel. But at least King Regis still had his faith in him and that’s the most he could ask at this point. His Masters seemed to consider the words of their King, but in the end they accepted the fact that the King won’t punish Ignis himself.

“Also, with this I believe the other two should only expect some mild punishment for assisting such an ambitious, but reckless plan,” Regis said, looking at Captain Drautos, then Clarus.

“Cleaning duty will have to do, probably the rest of the year,” Drautos said, sounding almost a bit preoccupied as he was eying Ignis. “However, in the future, I’d prefer you go through me if you need any of the Glaives, understood?” he addressed Ignis.

Ignis nodded. It was fair. Though he had to admit he was slightly surprised that the Captain still had some kind of faith in him.

After that, His Majesty dismissed the Piano Masters and Captain Drautos to talk to Ignis a few words. Ignis wished he didn’t. He just wanted to go and find a dark corner where he could just rest finally.

“Sit down, Ignis,” Regis motioned to one of the chairs by his desk.

Ignis hesitated, but went to sit down, feeling no strength in him to argue and fight anymore. He did what he could. With the best results he could. And that was enough. When he looked up, he found a glass of water offered to him by Sir Amictia. Ignis took it, squeezing the glass not drop it. He took a few gulps of water, while Regis stood from his chair to walk around his desk toward him.

“They went against you with all they had, didn’t they?” Regis asked. His tone had none of that neutrality anymore. This time however, Ignis didn’t mind. He didn’t speak either. “But you showed them, Ignis.”

“I just… “ Ignis said, but he just sighed in the end. He just wanted to serve Noctis. He just wanted to do the right things. He looked down, feeling his head a bit too heavy. But then he felt King Regis pat his head gently as he spoke.

“You did well,” the king said. “The very first Scientia must have been someone like you,” he mused quietly. Ignis just wiped his eyes, feeling that familiar tension in his chest again. The one that was always there, the one that threatened to burst, and now it did. He wept quietly, holding onto his glass with two hands. “Do you have any wishes I could grant you, Ignis?”

Ignis sniffed. King Regis had already granted a wish of his, so he really didn’t have any other. He just looked up at him, tired and beaten.

“Can I see Prince Noctis, Your Highness?” he asked.

Regis just smiled, looking over at Clarus for a second.

“You know what? You go and get yourself in shape, then you can bring his breakfast as usual. I’ll clear his schedule for today,” he added.

Ignis sighed, wanting to tell His Highness that it wasn’t necessary, but all he could do was nod. After Ignis felt a bit of strength in his knees he stood from his chair, put his glass down, bowed and left. Walking out of the office, he spotted Gladio and Casamus waiting. The servant smiled, walking up to him, putting his hand on his shoulder and telling him to go and get breakfast. Ignis looked over Gladio for a moment as they walked away, but the boy refused to acknowledge him for now. However, Ignis had a feeling this won’t be for long.

Clarus eyed the closed door as Ignis left, with his arms crossed. Regis just walked back to his chair, sitting down.

“Regis, your adopted child is a bad influence on my firstborn,” Clarus started suddenly, turning toward his king.

“How the tables have turned, huh?” Regis chuckled raising an eyebrow. “Do you think the family will keep him?”

“They’d be stupid not to,” Clarus said. “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Aren’t they the ones saying that all the time?”

“Indeed,” Regis smiled. “Now, I hope in the light of all this you’ll go easy on Gladiolus.”

“Yes, I wonder about that. What he did was reckless and bordered on treason,” he reminded Regis with a playful rise of his brow. “He did punch Sir Foedus, though.”

“He did?” Regis asked back, eyes widening a bit. “I truly wish I could thank him for that, from the bottom of my heart, Clarus.”

“I know,” his Shield sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes. “I know, Six. These kids, Regis.”

Regis just smiled, proud and maybe a little sad.

“These are the kids we’re raising,” he said at last.

\--

Noctis was awake before breakfast would arrive to his room. Somehow, he couldn’t sleep. He asked Gladio to look after Iggy, but since that he didn’t hear about either of them at all. He hoped no dragon would eaten them…

But then there was a knock on his door before it opened. It was Iggy!

“Iggy!” Noctis gasped, sitting up in his bed. His retainer closed the door with his elbow, as he was carrying the tray with Noctis’ breakfast on it. His blackeye was being more obvious, but healing, and his hair was a bit wet. “Did you just shower?”

“Yes, I was running a bit late this morning,” Ignis said, putting the tray on the bed in front of Noctis. “You’re up early however,” he commented as he sat down on the bed too. Noctis pouted at him.

“I was worried about you, I told Gladio to beat up whoever hurt you,” he said.

“And he did,” Ignis assured smiling.

“Whoa, really?” Noctis gasped happily. “I wanted to see!”

“Maybe next time, now eat your breakfast,” Ignis said. Noctis took his fork then, looking at Ignis. Somehow, he seemed very tired, but still happier than the day before. He wondered what happened. Maybe Ignis was just happy his bully was kicked.

“Something happened yesterday, right?” Noctis asked quietly, eying his retainer. He half expected Ignis to brush him off, saying it’s not for him to concern himself. But Ignis just looked at him, smiling, but still serious.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“And can you tell me?” the prince asked, frowning. Ignis tilted his head at him, wondering.

“Some of it, yes,” he said at last. “But before that… I must thank you, Noct, for looking out for me.”

Noctis blinked surprised. He didn’t expect Ignis to thank him as such. He looked down at the waffles, feeling his heart flutter happily and a bit lighter than it was before. Just nodding, unable to say anything, but still smiling. Iggy was alright, and that was the most important.


	11. Chapter 10

The negotiations with his family went extremely slow and frustrating, but Ignis knew it was just another way for them to express their bottomless disappointment in him. However, they could work out a contract, which was signed by His Majesty. It has given Ignis more freedom from the family, yet there were still a few responsibilities and obligations he had to comply. Secrecy was still the most important, and Ignis understood that, however he could overrule how much information was being given outside the family, if it was necessary. Which meant that files about dead members of the family weren’t as strictly guarded anymore. It also meant that Casamus received no punishment, and he could read the file of his brother anytime he wanted.

The new set up with his family also granted Ignis to attend the Royal Academy for Crownsguard training. Even if the school year has started already, he was able to transfer after taking the entrance exam, and also had a recommendation from Sir Clarus Amicitia himself. Ignis wasn’t a noble, or a royal, his family wasn’t in high status, the Scientias were servants in the eye of the public after all, so his Uncle warned him about the new environment he was about to enter. It indeed occurred to Ignis that this will be the first time he will be surrounded by people his own age; not adults, teachers or Noctis. But the kids of the people he was serving and dealt with before. He only knew Gladio from that bunch, who was also attending the Academy, obviously, as the future Crownsguard captain, it was no question he would go to the Academy.

The first day, Casamus was driving him to the school as Ignis’ request for a car was still being processed. He kind of had a feeling a member of the Scientia family had to do something with the slow handling, but if he was able to get a car in a few weeks, then he’d be more than satisfied.

“Will you be alright?” his Uncle asked and Ignis almost laughed at the worry in his tone. “I know you’re bright Ignis, but this is going to be completely different.”

“Whatever it’ll be, I’m going to handle it,” Ignis said quietly.

“I do hope you’re not planning on a heist here too,” Casamus teased. Ignis just huffed, looking at him.

“It depends,” he said, setting his glasses.His Uncle just chuckled fondly as he finally stopped by the gates.

Ignis had memorized his schedule and he knew where to start his day, however, he also got a message that the Headmaster would like to see him in his office on his first day before first period. So that’s where he was heading. In the meantime he took in the whole feeling of the Academy. It was the first time he had been inside a school after all; aside from the times he had to pick Noctis up. Ignis would lie if he said it wasn’t unnerving in a way. Somehow, these people were more blatant when they did anything; staring for example. At one point Ignis had to check if everything was fine with his shirt, because people kept looking at him. But when he found his clothes in pristine condition, as always, he figured all new faces must have the same welcome.

The Headmaster also told him that he had nothing particularly important to discuss, he just wanted to meet the student who was personally recommended by Sir Clarus Amicitia. Ignis felt a familiar kind of irritation as he was looking at the old man behind his desk, wasting his time, but he politely introduced himself nonetheless.

The rest of the day he spent with trying to adjust to his new schedule, and it seemed like a pretty calm place. Until lunch break.

“IGNIIIIS!” he heard that loud, roaring voice the moment he entered the cafeteria. It made him consider just turning on his heels and leave, trying to find food somewhere else. But he actually had a reason for coming to the most crowded area. He wanted to introduce his presence to as many people as possible. Ignis sighed, looking toward where Gladio’s voice was coming from, just to find him sit at a table surrounded by second and third graders. Mostly girls, even. All the rest were looking around who was the one Amicitia called with such enthusiasm. “Come  _ on _ !” Gladio stood up then, waving at him.

Ignis just wondered if the Crownsguard training worth all this, but then again, he betrayed his family for it. So this was nothing, really. He squeezed the strap of his messenger bag and headed toward Gladio’s table.

“You know, you could’ve just texted me,” Ignis said when he arrived to the table.

“Yeah, but with this I just gave you a favor,” the boy grinned at him, too wide and too self-confident. Ignis just huffed at him. He didn’t ask Gladio for a favor, but he supposed it was indeed a good introduction; being associated with Amicitia on his first day. So he introduced himself to the group of people sitting by the table and sat down too. As the others got introduced too, it was clear once again that he won’t find anyone sharing the same status as him. Which was fine, he wasn’t here because of status, he was here for actual training.

School life itself didn’t seem that interesting, nor exciting. Except from one amusing fact. Ignis could see Gladio in a completely different environment than the Citadel, and with that he could see a different side of him. An even louder side of him. He was already a sight with his height among the students, and with his loud laughing. Even the fact that he wasn’t wearing some hoodie, but the dark slacks and dress shirt with the school’s crest was a big difference. Wherever he went there were usually a flock of girls following him, and Gladio seemingly  _ loved _ it. Somehow he was more carefree in school grounds than back in the Citadel, which was understandable. It was one of the reasons Ignis was thinking about offering the Council that Noctis should have his own place once he starts high school. People needed that kind of freedom, even princes. And maybe he won’t feel that sad all the time.

While Ignis’ piano lessons were significantly cut back, he was still working and studying at the Citadel. Which meant that he could not take on after school club activities, even if he was personally asked by a few club captains too. He also received something else than a club invitation from the captain of the Basketball Club too. He was a tall, broad boy, a bit like Gladio, with the same kind of haircut. After Ignis politely declined the basketball club’s offer, he was then offered a small piece of paper.

“Call me if you’re, um, free,” the boy said, flustered and hurried away. Ignis thought nothing could surprise him in his school life, until that point. He stared at the number, thinking. Wait, so. What did this mean exactly? Ignis was educated in politics, in many subjects, in reading people, in multiple languages, he was getting better in cooking too, but he had a bit of trouble deciphering what exactly the guy meant ‘free’ and what would happen if he called him. He knew of pleasure, but he also knew that this was different from that. This was dating. Probably. Or not. How do people know these things…?

“What you got there?” Gladio asked Ignis as they were waiting for the car that would take them to the Citadel. It was already after classes and Gladio was also called in for some reason, so Ignis asked if he could join him. Ignis decided to use the little time he had to put the given number into his phone.

“Arcat Gracilius, gave me his number,” Ignis answered quietly, typing in the digits.

“Guy from the basketball club? You’re calling him?”

“Not now, I’ll… see,” Ignis said, looking up at the other. Just in time to watch Gladio reach out to him and grab his hand with the paper in it. Covering it up.

“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t,” he said. Ignis furrowed his brows, blinking at the other.

“Why not?” he asked, purely more curious than confused over what was happening.

“‘S just, you know,” Gladio cleared his throat, looking around them as if he thought someone would watch them. “Just, he’s like, not a good guy.”

“How do you mean?” Ignis asked with growing impatience, because Gladio had never gotten like this. He was usually always on point, always said what was on his mind, and when he was going off like this it meant he was trying his best NOT to say what was on his mind. It somehow pissed Ignis off more than it should.

“He’s- you know, he’s not even gonna be a Crownsguard when he graduates, he’s gonna take over his dad’s business. And he’s only like the fourteenth best student around here, and he was only third place last year on the freshmen speed run.” Gladio was rambling. Ignis finally collected enough strength to pull his hand back. “He’s not a good guy to, you know, to… like, damn. He’s not a good guy for first kisses and other things!” Gladio blurted out.

Ignis was so shocked by what the other was implying here that he answered without even thinking.

“Why do you think he’d be my first?” he asked.

The following silence worth all the implied lies, actually. So Ignis mentally pat himself on the shoulder, because the shock on Gladio’s face was priceless. He even went a little pale. It was almost cute. Almost. So Ignis cleared his throat and finished typing the number in.

“I just… I don’t know I assumed…” the Amicitia stuttered, rubbing his neck as he looked away.

“Right,” Ignis set his glasses. “Next time don’t try to tell me who I can or cannot call,” he added, because that’s why he was angry actually. He was used to how Gladio always seemed to know what was going on with him, but not him ordering him around. He deserved this.

“And who?” Gladio asked, almost barked at him. Ignis didn’t actually expect him to ask, it felt a bit like calling his bluff. So he wasn’t going to budge.

“Nyx Ulric,” he said.

“The Glaive?!” Gladio gasped. “But- When- how?!”

“Gladio, do I ask about your countless girlfriends and the rest you keep beside them?” Ignis snapped. “I respect your privacy, and I’d like you to do the same.”

At least that shut Gladio up for good.

“I know we’re going to be working more closely from now on, but that doesn’t mean we have to share too many details between us. Especially when it’s on the topic of dating.”

Especially that as Ignis was thinking about it, ever since Sir Foedus, he felt a bit off when people tried to pry into things like that. It just left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Yeah sorry, geez,” Gladio muttered, huffing. He was seemingly angry, most probably because he never liked to be put in his place by Ignis. But that’s what he got for being a jerk. Ignis also made a mental note to call Nyx about this, in case Gladio would try an investigate this story.

Though as they got into the car in a bit of tense silence, Ignis had to realize it didn’t feel good to lie to Gladio on the long run. But he’d be dead than take that lie back. The bad person here wasn’t him anyway. Maybe he should indeed call the guy, right from the car, so Gladio could hear too. But Ignis wasn’t that cruel. So he just endured the silence until they got to the Citadel and finally went on their separate ways.

That week, Gladio once again barely talked to him, which Ignis was slightly used to. After what he pulled with the archives, Gladio didn’t talk to him a whole month. Then one day, everything went back to the way it was. So Ignis figured it’ll run it’s course this time too. Even thought this time it was clearly Gladio at fault.

When Ignis told all this to Nyx, a few days later, the Glaive couldn’t stop laughing.

They were in the office Ignis was assigned in the Citadel just a few weeks before. It was just a plain room, on the floor with all the rest of the offices, which also meant it was well guarded too. For now the cabinets around were empty, aside from a few office supplies, but Ignis was sure they will be filled up with his reports and books he would need. Casamus suggested him to maybe try to bring something personal, but Ignis didn’t have much personal items to be put on display.

Ignis was checking on the reports Captain Drautos wrote up. Nyx apparently volunteered to bring them. It was… it was actually nice, that Nyx still wanted to meet up with him. After all that happened, after what Ignis used him for. Even if he was stuck on cleaning duty and to make all kinds of pointless errands until the end of the year. But he assured Ignis that it was worth it.

Ignis sighed, looking up from his notes at Nyx, finding him still snickering. He was sitting in the chair across Ignis’ desk, biting at his own lips as to not to laugh out loud.

“Is it really that funny?” Ignis asked in a sigh.

“Yeah’s just I- forgot how it was to be like that. First kisses and all,” Nyx shrugged. Ignis huffed, looking down at his papers. “But I guess I should be honored to be your alibi,” the Glaive added and Ignis felt his cheeks burn for some reason.

“Why are first kisses a big deal?” he asked quietly, writing over the last word he had noted down.

“No idea, suppose it’s romantic or something. But I think it’s more like the idea of owning something rare, you know?” Nyx said. Ignis couldn’t help to look up at that. “It’s something precious no one can take away from you anymore. I suppose there’s that to it.”

Ignis watched Nyx as he shrugged, looking around in his study. He really wasn’t interested in first kisses at all. Of course why would he. Ignis wondered why he was so stupid to tell Gladio that Nyx was his first. He should have came up with someone who didn’t actually exist. But he wanted to shock the Amicitia. And truly, the first person that came to mind was Nyx. As he wondered he barely noticed Nyx turning back toward him.

“What?” he asked, his lips pulling into a playful smirk and Ignis hated that he knew that. Because his eyes were on those lips a bit longer than necessary.

“Nothing, I’ll finish up shortly,” Ignis assured, going back to the reports.

“Why did you tell him I was your first?” Nyx asked. Ignis froze again, feeling all the color rushing to his face.

“I wanted to shock him,” he said, not looking up. It wasn’t a lie.

“Don’t you have anyone you actually want your first kiss with?” Nyx asked and Ignis hated that he did. He had someone in mind, yes. But. Astrals, why does this make him feel all flustered?

“Can we move from this topic?” Ignis said and immediately realized his mistake. By saying that he actually admitted who he wants his first kiss with. Nyx wasn’t stupid, he could read the lines, not like other people. Or maybe Ignis was far too obvious. Damn it.

“Oh, huh, I’m honored for real now,” Nyx chuckled and Ignis hated his life. He didn’t say anything, just pointedly read something in Captain Dratuos’ report.

Thankfully Nyx didn’t insist on the topic further. Ignis could work in peace. When he was done, he closed the report and walked around his desk to give it to the Glaive.

“All done?” Nyx asked.

“Yes, I’ll be able to make my own report from here,” Ignis nodded as he handed over the file. Nyx grabbed it, and with the same movement he leaned closer. Ignis raised his head to look at him, asking what he wanted, but he had no time to utter words. As a pair of lips covered his. He froze on the spot, yet his heart was beating so loud and wild he was afraid Nyx can hear it too. It mustn’t have been longer than a few seconds, but it felt like hours. Ignis could feel how soft Nyx’s lips were, he could feel his stubble brush against his chin, he could smell his scent from this close. And when he thought it’ll be over Nyx pressed his lips more firmly against his, just for a moment before pulling away.

Ignis watched as the Glaive moved back, and licked his lips. The taste hitting him in his core; so that’s how Nyx Ulric tasted. His whole body was burning so much, he was sure he resembled more to a Lucian Tomato than anything else.

“Now you don’t have to lie to that guy,” Nyx chuckled, far too confident. Though Ignis discovered a hint of color in his cheeks too. “As for other first times, I’m not sure I’m your man. I mean, you’re not really my type, sorry.”

Ignis was aware he wasn’t saying anything at all, and he couldn’t either. He was too overwhelmed. It was like a dream come true. And it actually was. He had imagined, dreamed about this moment, however embarrassing it was, and it happened such a silly way. He swallowed, looking up at Nyx.

“And uh, first times should be special anyway,” the Glaive shrugged, looking away. Ignis was still silent, still just trying to process what just happened. “Are you alright?” Nyx asked.

“Yes,” Ignis answered quickly.

“If you want to punch me, you can,” the man tried. Ignis just huffed a little. He wanted to do something totally different than that.

“No, I… no,” he cleared his throat. “Thank you, Nyx,” he swallowed, looking at the other then. Nyx’s expression softened, yet another expression Ignis loved on him. But he wasn’t his type. Probably too young for him too. But that was fine, it wasn’t like Ignis wanted to pursue this outside his dreams.

The Glaive left and Ignis felt a strange kind of sensation in his chest. He sat back to his desk to finish his report, but he couldn’t exactly pick up his pen. He stared at the notes, at the pen, but all he felt was the warmth of Nyx’s lips on his. He reached up to brush his fingertips over his lower lip, feeling his blush again. So that was a kiss. That was a thing all those books and movies were talking about. And Ignis, for a moment, understood why people liked it so much. He also understood how it could hurt like a wound. Because even if he knew Nyx was out of his reach, being sure of it made it worse. It was such a bittersweet sensation that Ignis barely slept that day.

The morning when he ran into Gladio in the school hallways he asked why he was so sick looking and that he should see a doctor. Ignis just said that Gladio should see a doctor instead. The Amicita just snickered, and they were on talking terms again.

\--

When Ignis started the actual training of the Crownsguard he realized that the training he was taking before couldn’t even compete with the one he was taking now. And he loved it. Even if he knew there was still a long way to go, he also knew that he had to work on muscle and flexibility training. He managed to obtain a training schedule from his teacher and created his own additional training schedule for it. He wanted to be invincible, because Noctis would deserve the best. Ignis also noticed that working out some of his frustrations during practice was resulting in more productive work during other times, so he was looking forward to all the trainings he would have. He also joined Noctis with his training with Gladio at the biggest surprise of the Amicitia the first time. Thought when he told Gladio that he thought he was doing good work with Noctis and that he could use some of that too Gladio was keen on helping him out.

Aside from the training he very obviously needed, Ignis didn’t think much about school life. It wasn’t going to last long, only three years. As for classes, Ignis was way ahead than the rest of them, which meant he was excused of a few classes during which he could do his other work. Sometimes he was just getting a bit of sleep when he couldn’t have enough the night before. It started to happen more the more responsibilities he took next to tending to Noctis, school and piano lessons. He was also working on to be present on Council meetings other than a spectator, so he had more control over what they decide over Noctis’ fate, and also had a proposal to make and push through. He learned about the politics of the Citadel in more depth in favor to be able to tread the waters more smoothly outside the meeting room too. It wasn’t fair, but Ignis knew he had no chance otherwise.

Gladio sometimes asked him to hang out with him and with their schoolmates, but Ignis was always busy. Even if he was curious, he wanted to go a few times. Just to see what he’s missing.

“Iggy, you’re gonna go to school today too?” Noctis asked as he was inhaling his breakfast that morning. Whenever Ignis could, he brought breakfast to him in bed. It actually helped to get Noctis awake in the mornings.

“Yes,” Ignis said, as he held out a napkin to Noctis to wipe his mouth of maple syrup. Noctis took it, wiping his mouth, but somehow it got messier. Ignis sighed at the sight, taking more napkins.

“And are you gonna hang out with Gladio and the others after?” Noctis enquired in a way where it was clear that someone put those words in his mouth. His retainer narrowed his eyes at him over their breakfast tray. Noctis just imitated him, saying nothing.

“I don’t know if I have time,” Ignis started.

“I order you to have time,” Noctis retorted. Ignis straightened his back a little.

“Alright,” he said slowly, not looking away from Noctis. “So you order me to hang out, and have fun?”

“Yea’,” Noctis munched. Then he added after a few minutes: “Gladio said you never play with them. I think he wants you to play with them.”

“I don’t-” ‘play’ Ignis wanted to say, but he bit the words back. At least now he knew who set Noctis up for this. “Will you be alright tonight, then?”

Noctis actually thought about that question a little.

“I’ll be fine,” he nodded, looking at Ignis who reached for him to finally wipe his messy mouth.

Well, an order was an order, Ignis figured. So when that day Gladio approached him and asked him if he was ready to join them at a houseparty he had to say yes.

“Your little scheme worked well, Amicitia,” Ignis remarked as he was noting down the address. Gladio grinned too widely at him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said. He looked too happy. It was contagious, somehow, and made Ignis smile too. “Now come on, you wanted to come anyway no?”

Once again Gladio seemed to look into his damn head and pull something out of there. Whenever it happened it always left Ignis feel strange.

“Well, I'll be there now,” he assured.

It wasn’t like Ignis was nervous about it all. He had attended events in the Citadel with far more dangerous people than a bunch of high school kids. Yet it still took him a bit more time to pick his outfit for the night. He was also aware that aside from researching all his schoolmates, nothing else he could have done to see what exactly a house party included. Though if he had to be honest, he had a few ideas.

In the end Ignis picked plain black pants and a dark, printed shirt. As he was buttoning it up, he left the top few buttons open after a bit of debating himself. He’d never done that in school, or around the Citadel, but where he was going it was neither of those places. The way he was wearing his shirt also made his necklace visible. It was a simple necklace with a small skull pendant on it. A gift Noctis had given him for his birthday a few months back. Before that, Ignis wasn’t wearing any jewelry. Though as he was watching his chosen style in the mirror, he wondered maybe he should invest in a watch sometime soon.

He wasn’t nervous. Not really. But curious. On his way, he still made sure to check on Noctis, asking him one last time if everything will be fine for the night.

“You look cool Iggy!” Noctis gasped at and got up from his desk to ran to him. A bit like that time when they met the very first time. “Whoa, you look like a movie star!”

Ignis frowned. That wasn’t his intention. He looked down at himself, and right, he looked acceptable to be out and have a good time. He liked the outfit, felt good in it, even if it was something he could rarely apply, taken he always had to be somewhere official.

“Thank you, I suppose,” he smiled a little, looking back up at Noctis. He noticed the prince eying his pendant, his cheeks blushing. Ignis chuckled. “I told you I like it,” he said.

“Yeah,” Noctis muttered, as if he had just realized Ignis indeed liked his present. Months later. Ignis then told Noctis that he can call him whatever happens, no matter that he was out of the Citadel.

Though Ignis may had been calm about Noctis, he grew aware during the car ride there, how he wasn’t exactly calm about the party. He deliberately didn’t bring his own car this time, but asked one of the chauffeurs to take him. 

The house Ignis arrived to was huge. Modern. With a too artificial looking front garden. As his ride drove away, Ignis stopped by the gates, just assessing the premises. It was new, and unfamiliar, and only just a few seconds later he realized what he was doing. He wasn’t going to  _ infiltrate  _ this place, he was invited! So he pressed the buzzer and the gates opened without any trouble. He walked the short distance to the entrance, hearing the music getting louder the closer he got. Before he could open the door himself, it was opened by someone.

Ignis was prepared to see a schoolmate of his, the one who invited them, but who he saw appeared to be a butler of some sort. An older man, with a serious expression Ignis knew well. The neutral expression of a servant at work.

“Good evening, young Master,” Ignis was greeted by the polite tone he also was terribly familiar with. It was unusual to be the subject of such voice and to the expression: ‘Young Master’. Before he could say anything, the butler opened the door for him and stepped out of his way. “The event is at the back garden, please enjoy yourself.”

Somehow, the party being called an ‘event’ calmed Ignis down more than it should. He said thank you to the servant and walked inside. He wasn’t intimidated by the wealth that was on display in the house, nor the space it seemed to occupy. It was still nowhere near the Citadel, though certainly a wildly different style. Less traditional, others would say, more modern, with its light walls and minimalist design. The further Ignis walked inside, the more people he’d seen. All kids from the academy. Talking, dancing, drinking. Judging by some of their expressions, there was definitely more to drink than soda around and Ignis wasn’t sure how to feel about that. While he was actually legal, he could drink alcohol without being punished for it, but he doubted the rest was also excused.

The back garden was huge, though still tiny compared to the Citadel’s. There weren't any trees at all, but yet again this artificial looking garden, with too neat bushes and too pretty flowers, with a pool that stretched too huge for it all. Ignis looked around at the people, once again realizing he was being stared at. Again. He sighed, carrying his gaze around a bit lost, taken he hadn’t seen any of his classmates, only people from the upper years. Only after a moment he heard Gladio’s laugh from the other side of the pool. And indeed the Amicitia was there, once again surrounded by a group of people, laughing and having a good time, seemingly. He wasn’t wearing his school uniform either, but a plain, black T-shirt with black jeans. Ignis was about to go and greet him when someone approached him.

“Scientia, hey, I didn’t think you’d really come,” the person said, making Ignis stop in his tracks. It was Arcat Gracilius, the captain of the basketball club. Ignis suddenly felt a bit of guilt, because he still didn’t call him… 

“Gracilius,” he turned to the boy who was hurrying toward him. Ignis had to admit there was something about seeing people without their school uniform. It was a bit like seeing their true nature, or at least what they want to show from it. Because even with the uniform, even in the academy, Ignis could see their true nature. It was easier than with adults, in a way. But more confusing, because these people were still changing, still trying to figure themselves out and while Ignis could see what and who they were, they could still change from that in the next few years. Even though, there were people that didn’t seem to be the changing type. They just always knew themselves. Like Gracilius. He already knew his fate, and he wasn’t about to fight it. “I apologize for not giving an answer to your question as of yet,” Ignis said.

“Wow, chill, this isn’t the classroom,” the boy chuckled at him. His short, brown hair was messy and his eyes were a bit more bloodshot than they should be. “But yeah, it’s fine, I can wait. Gladio told us you’re busy anyway, so I didn’t actually expect an answer after a while. But, it’s uh, good to know you’re still considering.” His smile was easy and without any kind of burden of the world. It was almost appealing how someone could smile like that. Ignis found himself at ease in his presence. “So um, do you have a drink yet?”

“I was about to have one,” Ignis nodded.

“Great, let me show you the kitchen where the magic happens, this way!” 

So before Ignis knew it, he found himself in the kitchen ‘where the magic happens’ with a glass of vodka orange, in the presence of Gracilius and a few others who were hanging out with them. It was loud. People were talking about many things, laughing way too loud, but it was fun. It may have been the very first time Ignis was talking about anything else than duty, or work, or lessons. He also noted that Gracilius started to move closer, pretending he wasn’t really. Right, Ignis knew about his intentions, and it was fine, and yet something still prevented him to give a sign.

Most of the night, Ignis didn’t meet Gladio, only in passing. He knew that Gladio was aware he was present, yet he didn’t approach him at once. As if he was deliberately avoiding him, despite the fact that he was the one inviting him. Or he was way too busy enjoying the rest of the party to do so. Ignis didn’t mind actually mind, he was still having a good time. Most of the people become more and more drunk as the night progressed. Ignis included. Yet he had a bit of a handicap himself, taken he had to learn about alcohol and its effects and he also had to find out his own limits in a series of piano lessons he would never want to repeat, ever. Gracilius was around, however, growing bolder by every glass he finished. After a while, people started to leave, or disappear in the rooms of the huge house, leaving just a few linger around in the garden and living room.

“I suppose I should get going too,” Ignis said then, looking at his phone.

“Uh, are you going back to the Citadel?” Gracilius asked next to him on the couch. Ignis nodded at him. “Um, can I, uh, so can I go with you? Just to know you’re getting there safe.”

Ignis was too late to catch his burst of laughter. The whole idea suddenly struck him just too ridiculous. If anyone would have to be protected… But yes, these people had no idea about his lessons, or what kind of background he was coming from. For them he was just a servant.

“I apologize, I must have drunk a bit too much,” Ignis cleared his throat, still hiding part of his face. It was easier to pretend embarrassment over being escorted, letting Gracilius think whatever he wanted.

“Is that a no?” the boy asked, sounding a little worried.

“I…” Ignis cleared his throat again, looking over his wannabe escort for the night. It may have been the drinks, but in the end he nodded. “I think I’d like that,” he said. The glow on Gracilius’ drunk expression was something he found himself pretty fond of.

“Okay, I just- I just need to- bathroom and then we can go?” he said, suddenly pretty flustered.

“Take your time,” Ignis smiled and watched Gracilius hurry away. At that point he was mostly alone in the living room, with someone sleeping on the other couch across from him, and a couple making out in the kitchen. Ignis took a deep breath, stretching and wondering if he himself should get a glass of water before they go. He stood up and headed for the kitchen. But before he could reach it he heard someone call for him. It wasn’t Gracilius. Ignis felt his shoulders tense up. It wasn’t just a friendly or curious approach, the whole tone yelled ‘threat’. So he slowly turned to look at whoever called.

“You Scientia?” the boy asked a few steps away from him. Ignis tilted his head, looking at him properly. He knew him. One of the wealthier kids from third year. His mother running some luxury product business. He was the one getting pulled out of training in his first year due to some kind of mysterious injury. Ignis wasn’t the one who would judge people, they lived their lives as they wanted. He was here to be sworn into Crownsguard, all the rest didn’t matter. But he had to find that others didn’t exactly share those views.

“Good evening,” Ignis greeted the boy, facing him.

“You’re so fucking full of yourself, despite being a servant” the guy said, his grip on his beer tightened, which probably wasn’t his first, or third.

Well, Ignis found himself smirking a little. They weren’t exactly wrong after all.

“Can I help you in something?” Ignis asked as he slowly put his hand on his hips. Casual. Not intimidated. Almost taunting. He knew he should just leave it, guy probably wouldn’t remember this conversation at all. Yet, apparently, there was just one more drunk person in that room that night.

“Yea’ jus’ one thing,” drunk idiot said, taking a sip from his beer for courage. Ignis could see that even with all his common sense being drowned by alcohol, some could still sign him that starting shit with Ignis Scientia may not have been one his best ideas that night. “Jus’ one thing,” he repeated, wiping his mouth. Last drop of common sense dead. “Is it true? That you sucked Amicitia to be in the Academy? That you offered to spread your legs for ‘em to let you, a servant, in?”

If adults were nasty in their rumours, kids were straight out cruel with them, Ignis wondered. 

“Why? I beat you to it?” he asked, quietly. Surprising himself in just how cruel he was. He would have lavished in the shocked stuttering of the boy, but the guy had no time to do any of that. As someone rushed out of the kitchen, past Ignis and grabbed his shirt to shove him to the nearest wall.

“Gladio!” a girl screamed, following him. Ah, so they were the couple in the kitchen...

Ignis didn’t move as he watched Gladio shove the guy against the wall once again, his head bumping into it with an alarmingly loud sound.

“The fuck did you just say?!” Gladio roared, drunk and on edge, truly angry. Ignis couldn’t see his face, but if he had to guess, it wasn’t a pleasant sight. The way his voice sounded told volumes to Ignis about his current anger level. The girl hurried to him, one of Ignis’ classmates, trying to pry him off the other.

Ignis just let it happen for a few more seconds. He watched the utter fear on the face of the drunk boy, pure fear for his life. But before it could get worse, Ignis stepped to them too.

“Let me,” he told softly to Gladio’s date, and gently pulled her back. Then he put his hand on Gladio’s arm to get his attention. “Gladio, let go, stop it.”

Ignis wasn’t shouting, but his voice was firm and loud so Gladio would surely hear him. The Amicitia flickered his gaze at him for a moment then back at the guy who was scared and half suffocating as Gladio pressed at his chest with his fists.

“You know what he said…!” Gladio hissed.

“Just let him go,” Ignis said. Gladio took a deep breath, and a few more after that. Then he released his grip, letting their unlucky idiot collapse to the ground. Ignis sent him a look, just to remember how he looked scared soulless after an attack like that, then gently pushed Gladio toward the entrance. “Let’s go, you need air,” he said.

“What I need is to bash his head in!” Gladio yelled, but it was just a yell. Just a threat. Just to make sure the guy would certainly remember this happening. Ignis huffed, turning back to the girl following them.

“I think he’s going to need help,” he said, motioning at the other drunk idiot. “I’ll handle Gladio from here,” he offered. Thankfully, she understood, nodding a bit calmer than a few minutes before. She was a smart one, Ignis recalled. She will one day be the owner of one of the biggest construction companies in Insomnia, and Ignis had a feeling that it wasn’t just a drunk choice to go after Amicitia.

Ignis also quickly got his phone to send an apology text to Gracilius as he guided Gladio out of the door. He told him an emergency came up and he should ask his classmate about it.

“No, we’ll walk some. You need to calm down,” Ignis said as the gates closed behind them and he saw Gladio take his phone to probably call a ride.

“Shit,” Gladio groaned, rubbing at his eyes as he pocketed his phone again. Ignis took his arm and led him down the sidewalk. The night had a cool breeze to it and Ignis also noted his high alcohol levels. He had too much fun to keep it in check. They needed water. There was no one else on the streets at that time; which was too late and Ignis wondered how his morning will go at this rate. It was the weekend, but he still had lessons. But the most important thing was to get Gladio to calm down. Neither of them said a thing for a while. At one point, Ignis wondered to finally call a taxi, but then he spotted a vending machine ahead.

“Come on,” he pulled Gladio toward it. The boy went with him without arguing and Ignis had to wonder if he was alright at all. He let go of Gladio to walk to the vending machine, but the boy still followed him as if he had him on a leash. When they got there, Gladio leaned heavily against the machine, bumping his head against it, his red cheeks getting illuminated by the LED lights of the offered drinks. He looked angry, tired and terribly drunk.

“You aren’t angry at what he said?” Gladio started suddenly. Ignis raised an eyebrow at him, realizing he was staring at him for too long now.

“I know it’s not true, so I’m not angry at him for what he said,” he answered honestly. “But I’m angry at the fact he attacked me because of his own insecurity,” he added. Because apparently out there, he was once again a target. There were just too many areas to aim at in an environment like this.

“I could’ve broke all his bones y’kno,” Gladio muttered in that deep voice of his. In a way where Ignis knew he would have said it even if he weren’t drunk. 

“I know, Gladio,” he told him gently, not looking away. He was also sure that Gladio could do it. He could pick someone and break all their bones. Make their skulls crack just by shoving them against a wall. Gladio could kill if he wanted. “And I could make his life a living hell,” Ignis added, casually. He wondered why he just told that to a drunk Gladio, but mostly because he himself wasn’t exactly sober either. “I know he’s weak, I know what cracks to pressure, who to talk to for him to be pushed into being more insecure, to the point where he won’t be able to do anything without confirmation from his mommy.”

Gladio was silent. Ignis wondered if he was scared. Maybe he was. Maybe he also wondered how Ignis could kill people if he wanted too. Realizing they were both just a bit different than those people they left in that too artificial house.

“Will you do it?” Gladio asked quietly. That was the question isn’t it. They could, but  _ would  _ they?

Ignis pressed a button on the vending machine instead of an answer. He heard Gladio moan a curse, rubbing his face. He got the bottle then and offered it to the other. Gladio slowly moved his hand to reach for it, but at Ignis’ biggest surprise his hand moved past the offered bottle toward his neck. To his necklace, more precisely. Gladio took the pendant between his fingers and Ignis got suddenly aware just how warm his hand was that close to his skin. How just a bit ago it was hurting someone, and now it’s terribly soft and gentle as he’s almost touching him. His heart skipped a beat, unlike when he was with Gracilius.

“Got it from Noct, as a birthday present,” Ignis spoke without really wanting to. Never ramble, they taught him. It was one of the first lessons he had and it was like he forgot all about it.

“I got you nothing…” Gladio muttered, mostly to himself. His eyes were on the pendant, so Ignis had time to look at him. Has Gladio always had these pretty eyes? But all those thoughts short circuited in Ignis’ mind when he felt the back of the boy’s fingers brush against his collarbone. If he thought Gladio’s hand was warm, he felt it almost burning his skin when he touched him. Ignis swallowed a gasp. “Suits you,” the boy muttered as if he barely noticed their skin was touching.

Ignis thought he will pull his hand back, but then Gladio slowly brushed up toward his neck, along the line of his necklace and Ignis got scared. It was too intense. More intense than anything he’d ever felt in his life and he was afraid he’d lose control. He reached up, grabbing Gladio’s wrist and gently pulled his hand off, pushing the water bottle into it.

“You should drink this, then we call a taxi,” Ignis said. Gladio looked at the bottle as if it was the first time he saw it, but in the end he obliged without a word. He drowned most of the water before handing it back to Ignis.

“You too,” he muttered. Ignis sighed taking the water back and finishing the last few drops.

So this is how Gladiolus Amicitia tasted like, he wondered as he licked his lips.

Next week, Gladio and Ignis pretended nothing happened at the end of the party. Because nothing really happened, but both of them felt slightly off a few days after. 

On the upper side, however, Ignis was invited more to these kind of events, or to just hang out after school, and he sometimes made an effort to make it. He knew he’ll never gonna make any long lasting friends, but it was still something he enjoyed. He also decided to call Gracilius and ask him if he was free one of these days.

  
  



	12. Chapter 11

It took months, many favors, even bribing at that one time. But Ignis made it. He finally could push through the detailed plans of Noctis moving out of the Citadel when he would start on school. He completed it with apartment suggestions, detailed financial plans, pros and cons of the Prince living outside the Citadel, with very heavy emphasis on the pros. He presented it flawlessly and it was accepted. The Council accepted that Prince Noctis should have his own place outside the Citadel. It was a long and difficult fight, but it worth it. When Ignis could finally present the good news to him, Noctis was so happy. He was looking forward to have a space on his own, where no one else would bother him; where he can feel like he can breathe. Ignis hoped it will help him cope with what was happening in his life. Starting high school was hard, and also the fact that his father was seemingly getting weaker. Noctis didn’t seem to notice it, or didn’t care, though Ignis wasn’t entirely sure. All he knew that he will work on trying to make Noctis feel safe even outside the Citadel.

A few days before school started, Ignis and Gladio helped to bring Noctis’ things from his room in the Citadel.

Ignis didn’t think it would fill him with such unease as he was looking at the luxury apartment, with Noctis’ things all boxed up in several rooms. The furniture and the rest was already set up weeks ago, now it was only for Noctis to move in.

“This is a nice place, Noct!” Gladio yelled from the living room. Making Ignis finally snap out of his unease and move from the entrance with the current box he was carrying. “A real mancave if you ask me.”

“A mancave?” Noctis asked, just when Ignis joined them in the huge living room.

“Yeah, a place for a man! You just became one, so this is now your mancave!” Gladio grinned, bumping Noctis’ shoulder with his fist. “You’re gonna bring all the girls here. You could be smooth and be like ‘hey babe look at that view’ they love that shit.”

Ignis refused the urge to roll his eyes.

“Huh,” Noctis hummed, thinking about it. “First I just wanna be alone, I guess.”

He didn’t want to be alone, Ignis wondered as he passed them to go to the bedroom and unpack some of Noctis’ clothes. Noctis just didn’t know how to handle people, they were a lot, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be alone. He just wanted people to be easier to talk to. Maybe not girls, but Ignis hoped Noctis will have more friends than in his old school at least. Maybe he’ll be a bit more at ease and finally be able to reach out? Hopefully. 

“Will you be able to unpack from here, Noctis?” Ignis asked, walking out of the bedroom.

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Noctis looked up from where he was messing with his game console. Ignis already had a feeling how today will go and that no boxes will be unpacked…

“Please at least put the rest of your clothes into the closet,” Ignis sighed.

“I will!” Noctis frowned at him.

Gladio laughed and reached out to pat Noctis’ shoulder as he walked past him toward Ignis.

“It’s your place, you do what you want now!” he told him grinning.

“Don’t encourage him, Gladio. If you’re proven unable to live on your own, you have to go back to the Citadel before time,” Ignis warned. He saw Noctis’ shoulders tense up at that, but he didn’t mind. He should get himself together. That was the other point of this moving after all.

“Give him a break, Iggy,” Gladio snorted. Ignis just pursed his lips, sending a warning glare at the other. Then he watched as Noctis was already more interested in getting his games running than the unpacked boxes around.

“I’ll come around again tonight, to help you pack,” Ignis told him. Noctis looked up at them for a moment, smiling and waving as they left.

“Man, wish I had a place of my own,” Gladio sighed while they were waiting for the elevator on Noctis’ floor.

“Why won’t you get one?” Ignis asked. He was sure that the Amicitias could afford an apartment in the city for Gladio. So if Gladio really wanted to, he could have had his ‘mancave’.

“Yeah, not that simple. Don’t wanna leave Iris alone, you see?” Gladio shrugged, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’d miss her,” he added. Ignis understood. Only, not entirely. Gladio could still be with Iris even with his own place. But he wasn’t one to comment on it.

“Would you like a lift? I have a bit of time before I have to go back to the Citadel,” Ignis offered as they walked into the elevator.

“Huh, yeah that’d help, thanks,” Gladio nodded.

“It’s just natural, thank you for helping with moving,” Ignis smiled politely.

Ignis watched as Gladio got on the seat next to him in the car. He was big and still growing; getting taller, and building muscle. He was huge and suddenly the space in that car was just too small for both of them. Ignis licked his lips as he put the car in gear and drove out of the garage. It was just a few minutes until the Amicitia residence, and it was fine, Ignis thought. It wasn’t like this was the first time he was driving Gladio somewhere. And this slight tension happened every time...

Ignis was trying to focus on the road and not how Gladio was so close, when he heard a phone buzz. It wasn’t his, but he still looked over when the other took it out of his pocket to look at it. Ignis saw a girl’s name for a moment before Gladio sent the call to voicemail.

“Everything’s okay?” Ignis couldn’t help but ask, when Gladio repeated the movement two more times with the call from the same person.

“Yeah, ‘s just... haven’t talked to her yet, not in the mood,” Gladio sighed, rubbing his face. Then he looked over Ignis. “I’m sure you don’t have such problems. You and your boyfriend get along well, huh,” he said.

Ignis smiled a little, politely, as if they were just discussing the weather.

“Yes, it’s been going well,” he said casually. It actually did, Gracilius was a delight to be with.

“Lucky asshole,” Gladio snorted amused, looking out the window. “Boys are less whiny,” he added. Ignis huffed a little, sending a glare at him. It wasn’t about that if someone was ‘whiny’, but he wasn’t about to lecture Gladio about that. He also felt that Gladio wanted to ask something else, from the way his neck tensed, from the way he was tapping his feet a bit nervously. But he never did. They just discussed about the first day of school and how trainings will also pick up again. They both attended the summer trainings the school offered, but for the past month all school activities were on break. “Thanks Iggy, see you around!” Gladio greeted when he got out of the car, leaving the scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body behind, letting Ignis reclaim the car. Or at least try.

Ignis let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding as he was watching the boy walk to his door. Gladio wasn’t in the car anymore, but it was still so warm, still so full of him, and Ignis wished his heart would finally realize that Gladio isn’t nearby and calm down already. This has never happened with Gracilius. They guy was calm, he was soft and Ignis could control what they had. It was good and it was working. Ignis liked it. Though Gracilius never appeared in his dreams in a way Gladio did lately. With that thought, Ignis finally stepped on the gas and drove back to his own place.

When it was approved that Noctis could move into the city, Ignis also started to look for an apartment for himself nearby. The most important feature of the apartment he was looking for was for it to be close to Noct’s. He found one thankfully, though it wasn’t that much bigger than his room in the Citadel. At least he had his own bathroom and a bigger closet for his growing designer clothes collection. It was a more pleasant and brighter place than his old room, and yet when Ignis entered to pick up some of his stuff, he couldn’t help feeling a little chilly. It was too silent. It was too big… Especially after that short car ride with Gladio. Ignis squeezed his keys as he walked to his desk to pick his notes up. He wondered if he should invite Gracilius one time, just so the space won’t be so… empty. Even if he knew he most probably won’t spend much time here, taken his busy schedule.

Returning to the Citadel for work still filled him with warmth a little. For so long it was his home, after all. Even if he wasn’t a Lucis Caelum, but a retainer. Well, at least he could pretend it was a home. Casamus also assured him that he was always welcome to move back when needed. Ignis was thankful for the gesture. He figured that one day indeed, he’ll come back. When Noctis does. When he starts to properly shadow his father and take over his responsibilities, starting on his way to be the next King of Lucis. Then, Ignis will move back with him.

That night, as Ignis promised, he went back to Noctis’ place to check on him. As expected, none of the boxes were touched, but the TV and the game console was fully operational.

“Noct…” Ignis sighed as he walked into the living room, catching the future King of Lucis playing a video game, probably for hours now. Probably since they left him here with Gladio. “Did you eat at all?” Ignis asked.

“Uh?” Noctis frowned, looking over his shoulder at Ignis. At least he looked a bit guilty as he shook his head. Ignis just sighed and moved to prepare something from the groceries he had stuffed Noctis’ fridge with. After dinner, Ignis made sure that most of the boxes were finally unpacked and at least Noctis’ bedroom and bathroom had all his essential things. As for the rest… he can come by next week, he figured, hoping to find them already unpacked. “Can you stay tonight?” Noctis asked when Ignis prepared some tea for him for the night.

Ignis frowned a little at him, wondering.

“I could, if you’d like me to,” he offered. Noctis just seemed to let out a sigh he was holding then turned to go back to the living room. Ignis soon joined him with two cups of tea. “Is everything alright, Noct?” he asked him.

Noctis bit at his lower lip then, eying his controller next to his mug on the coffee table. He shrugged at first, but Ignis saw him work toward trying to say something. And he waited, like he always did, unlike others who would dismiss Noctis the first moment he couldn’t muster up his words. Words were difficult after all, words weren’t clear, words were… work.

“I don’t know,” Noctis said at last. Then he moved so his shoulder pressed against Ignis’s. “I just… will it be fine, Iggy?” he asked.

“Will what…” Ignis started, but as Noctis pulled up his shoulders he realized. Everything. The school year. The people. Living outside the Citadel. The future. Everything. “It will.”

Noctis tilted his head to look up at him, waiting for him to tell him. That it will be fine. And Ignis did.

“It’ll be fine, Noct. You’ll be fine,” he said moving his arm to put it around the other’s shoulders, pulling him close. Realizing that he himself needed this a little too. To just hold onto Noctis, to reassure both of them. “And it’ll be amazing,” Ignis added, smiling a little. Noctis’ lips pulled into a smile too, leaning his head down on Ignis’ shoulder.

If Ignis was honest, he welcomed to stay with Noctis the first night. He wanted him to feel at ease in his place, to feel at home and not stressed. Even if he knew that it was taking a toll on Noctis, just a bit. Ignis also told him that he can call him anytime, he can come. He can still rely on him like back in the Citadel, he’ll still be here to help.

Ignis also welcomed to stay with Noctis, because he also needed to get used to the new arrangements; of him also living in the city, of him having to probably drive half his days to get to all the places he needed to be. If he was busy before then he certainly will be from here.

Thankfully, Noctis’ first day went smoothly. It was Ignis who picked him up that day, just because he was so worried for him. But seeing that strange smile on the boy’s lips, he grew curious. Noctis said… there was a friend who returned. Ignis wondered who he was talking about, but he didn’t pry much. Noctis will tell him when he was ready.

Though, knowing that Noctis will be fine from here, Ignis decided to focus a bit more on training and to start working in the Council in more depth. Though Gracilius wasn’t entirely happy.

“So you’ll be working more in the Citadel?” he asked, picking at something in his lunch box, not looking at Ignis. Sometimes, when the weather let them, they decided to have lunch in the school gardens, just like a few other couples. Ignis nodded as he turned his head to face the other.

“It’ll be necessary,” he said. Gracilius didn’t say anything in return. He had expressed his concerns that they couldn’t spend that much time together before. And Ignis understood that. But he really couldn’t cut back from his duties and he wished the other boy to understand that too. “I’m-” Ignis started then. “I have a place on my own, however. You can come up and we can spend some time together.”

He knew it was a bold invitation, but there truly wasn’t anything to hide here. Even Gracilius looked up at that a little surprised.

“Oh, wow, that…” he stuttered, blushing. “Wow. I thought you’re gonna wait until marriage with the way you were acting.”

That actually made Ignis froze. He blinked a little unsure at the other boy, waiting for him to claim it as a joke. But something told him it was only half a joke.

“With the way I’m… acting?” he asked a little unsure.

Gracilius sighed then, a little embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck. He looked away, clearly wondering if he should say something. But Ignis was patient.

“To tell you the truth, I didn’t think you’d even let me, um, closer than this. I mean, yeah we go on dates and it’s great. And that one time at that party, that was- that was hot, but… I think…” Gracilius raised his brown eyes at him and Ignis wondered what was so different about him. He only later realized that the boy seemed to appear like he was carrying a weight. A weight he didn’t when he asked him out last year. “I think… I mean I know you’re busy with your duties but …” That weight, Ignis realized as Gracilius was talking, that weight was  _ him _ . “But you don’t even want to get to know me, I mean…”

“I know you,” Ignis blurted out without thinking. Gracilius frowned at him, almost scoffing.

“What’s my favorite movie?” he asked. Ignis felt something akin to anger.

“Super Sentai - The Clash on the Ice Planet, but you tell everyone it’s that silly basketball documentary,” he answered.

“Favorite animal?”

“Dogs, all of them.”

“Food?”

“Stir fried rice.”

“Favorite--”

“What are you trying to say, Gracilius?” Ignis snapped. The boy froze then.

“You know all these things about me, some I haven’t even told you, and yet you never call me by my first name! Not even when we’re alone,” he said, spreading his arms. It was obvious it hurt him to say this, to accuse Ignis of this. “And while- while you seem to know everything about me, I know nothing about you, Ignis!”

“You can ask,” Ignis frowned.

“I could, but…” Gracilius groaned in frustration. “But I want to discover it with you, you know? I don’t want to study you, like some kind of subject, but I want to  _ be with you _ .”

“We  _ are _ together. And you can visit-”

“Do you think if we have sex that would help?”

The question was so sudden and shocking Ignis straightened his back a bit more. Though he also knew the answer: no. This is the most he was able to give to Gracilius. Nothing more. What he was asking from him wasn’t physical, it was something beyond that. Something beyond knowing each other’s favorite movies, or having dinner together. Gracilius…  _ Arcat _ wanted to love him at some point, and wanted to be loved back.

“Would you ever… I mean, could you ever be with me… like, for real?” Gracilius asked, and Ignis bitterly wondered how he had the luck to weed out the only guy who didn’t just want a teenage fling. Though, as he was thinking about it, maybe he felt that from the beginning. Maybe he wanted that. Wanted to have something more with someone, who would understand him, who would just hold his hand… Someone who had an easy smile and a light personality, someone who would hold some weight for him.

Ignis didn’t answer. He didn’t want to hurt this person, he probably already did a lot. He put a burden on his shoulders the guy never asked for.

“I’m sorry, I had a better speech for this,” Gracilius sighed when Ignis just eyed something in his own lunchbox. “I mean… “

“You were thinking about breaking up with me for a long time now?” Ignis asked, frowning a little.

“Not breaking up, no just… talk. Just to see how we are doing and if we can’t, um, solve this…” Gracilius sighed. “Listen, I was ready to be with you, I wanted to get to know you so much, I wanted to hold you and kiss you and, yeah I wanted to do much more than that,” he rambled. “I still do.”

Ignis could hear the silent ‘but’ at the end of that. Maybe Gracilius wasn’t good with words, but Ignis was good at reading people. Gracilius was a kind person, and he knew that if they continue like this it will just get worse. And he respected himself enough to tell this to Ignis, to stop it. Ignis thought he didn’t deserve to have such a boy being interested in him. He was a spy, an assassin if needed, he had no business clinging to someone with such clear morals, with such a noble heart. So Ignis took a deep breath and spoke.

“I’m sorry,” he started. “I don’t think I can give you more than this. I could share lunch, free time, even my bed, but nothing more.”

And that was it. Gracilius smiled, in a sad motion, but it had no burden in it anymore. He was sad, but relieved. And Ignis wished he’d be the same. He wanted to feel lighter, more free, but none of that reached him yet. So he was surprised when Gracilius reached for him and kissed his forehead. It felt a bit like one of the first times he kissed him.

“Just don’t get too lonely out there, alright?” he said. Ignis felt his heart skip a beat. While Gracilius really had no idea who he really was, that was one thing he got about him? Was it that obvious? “And I’ll still kick anyone who says you’re weird!”

As Ignis watched the boy quickly pack up his lunch he wondered if he’s truly lonely at all. He thought about that tension in his chest, which was getting better lately. But it was still there.

The day after that was a bit like a dream, or as if Ignis had less time to sleep the night before. It was strange, numb and foggy, despite the clear spring weather. And Ignis was actually thankful when his classes ended and he could finally walk to his car to go and pick Noctis up from his school.

“Hey, Ignis!” he heard Gladio’s voice just when he opened the car door. He sighed, not being sure he wanted to talk to him today at all. But in the end he turned toward the other as he got to him. “Man, lucky I got you before you left.”

“What do you want, Gladio?” Ignis asked, slightly impatient.

“Huh, so it’s true? You got your ass dumped?” Gladio asked and Ignis hated how fast the word was travelling inside the academy’s walls. So he just rolled his eyes and attempted to get in his car without any answer. But Gladio put his hand on the door. “Are you okay?”

Ignis wanted to say that he is more than ok. This really wasn’t a big deal, he wasn’t invested in it or anything. But something was still bothering him.

“Am I weird?” he asked after a moment of silence, eying their reflection in his car’s window.

“Yeah, you are,” Gladio answered without missing a beat. Ignis turned his head towards him then. “What? You wanted me to lie? To say that oh no, Ignis, you’re the most normal person I know. Bullshit. You’re weird.”

And you’re an asshole, Gladio, Ignis thought.

“Well, thank you for your insight then, much appreciated,” Ignis huffed, yanking the door open then. “If you came here to laugh at me, do so, so I can go on my way,” he said and got behind the wheel and pointedly took out his phone to call Noctis. He heard Gladio say something, but he focused more on the phone. He didn’t want to hear anything the Amicitia had to say. By the time Noctis picked up, Gladio was walking away.

“Iggy, listen, I’m going to the arcade with Prompto today, you don’t have to pick me up!” Noctis said.

Ignis blinked a bit confused. He wasn’t exactly expecting this at all. Prompto? Who was that again?

“Alright, but don’t stay out too long. You must have homework,” he warned. “Do you have food?”

“Yeah, and I can still order something if it’s not enough,” Noctis said. Someone was calling him from the background. “Yeah, gotta go now, see you later!”

The line was cut and Ignis honestly had never felt more lost in his life. He just had an hour and a half for himself. He looked at his phone, his heart beating too fast for his liking, his stomach sinking from some kind of anxiety he hadn’t felt before. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down, trying to take deep breaths. It was fine, Noctis was having friends, this is what he wanted. And it was good. He looked out of the window to check if Gladio was around, but he already seemed to leave. Yes, go Gladio, no one needed to be laughed at after a break up...

In the end, Ignis decided to drive to the Citadel and have a training session before his afternoon piano lessons.

\--

It was actually a month after school started, a little before summer vacation, when Ignis finally met Prompto for more than just a glimpse. And to be finally officially introduced. It wasn’t like he didn’t know who he was. The moment Noctis dropped the name ‘Prompto’ Ignis went to research everything he could about him. But what he found was quite shocking. The boy was from Niflheim; taken from a research facility by the marshal and out to the care of foster parents ever since he was a baby. His file was writing about him as if he was some kind of object, yet this ‘object’ was out there, rubbing up against Noctis. Then one day, he was introduced to Ignis.

It was a day when Ignis went to pick Noctis up from school and apparently, Prompto was coming along too.

“Prompto Argentum, it’s good to finally meet you!” the boy grinned. Full of sunshine and light energy, even a bit too much. Ignis wondered if that’s what Noctis saw in him. In the same way he saw something in Gracilius. Something easy, something warm and shiny. And just for a second, Ignis wished Prompto’s smile won’t have that burden with time. But for only a second.

“Ignis Scientia,” he said. “Thank you for looking after Prince Noctis.” Sometimes he liked to remind people that they are dealing with a prince here. Even if Noctis didn’t like him do that. This time too, Ignis heard the groan.

“Oh, no it’s- I’m not- It’s just-!” Prompto stuttered, his freckles glowing as his flush claim his face. His features, and the color of his blonde hair showed he also wasn’t one from Lucis. Ignis wondered if Noctis knew that at all. Or if he cared. He knew that he should have informed him about Prompto’s file, but for some reason, he didn’t. He thought he should wait how long this will last, he didn’t want to concern Noctis with useless information if Prompto won’t stick around.

“Let’s go!” Noctis huffed, ducking into the car. Prompto stuttered a bit more at Ignis before following the prince.

Ignis sighed and went to get into the car too.

“Where should we go, then?” he asked as he was setting his seatbelt, looking at the boy in the rearview mirror.

“Mm? To the apartment, Prom’s coming over so we can play,” Noctis frowned at him. Ignis narrowed his eyes at him a little.

“Was this cleared with security?” he asked. He knew it was. He made sure it was, personally. But it never hurt to remind Noctis and mostly Prompto about where he was headed, exactly.

“What, wait- if I’m- If I’m a threat maybe I shouldn’t come?” Prompto gasped, looking at Noctis. The boy looked slightly annoyed at that.

“You’re not a threat, I’ll tell them you aren’t!” he said to Prompto. “Let’s go, Ignis!”

Ignis sighed, eying Noctis just a moment longer before he would start the car and drive them. He saw that glare Noctis threw at him, before Prompto got his attention again. When they arrived, of course Prompto was let through security without a second thought. Ignis also escorted them up to the apartment, just to check the state of it.

“You can go now,” Noctis said when they reached his door, though. Ignis stopped in his tracks.

“Alright,” he nodded slowly. “Try not to make a big mess. And eat something else than take-out,” he warned.

“Yeah, yeah I know…” Noctis huffed, opening the door and ushering Prompto inside. “We’ll be good,” he said as Prompto gasped out loudly at the apartment: ‘It’s so big, Noct!’, ‘Wow you can see the whole city from here!’

With that Noctis hurried inside too and closed the door. Ignis just stood there, staring at it, once again feeling his stomach sink. He considered still just barging in and checking, but that would ruin the whole point of Noctis having a place on his own. So Ignis swallowed that bitterness and turned to leave. Swearing to himself he’ll do better next time.

But somehow, that next time was always worse. Noctis stopped smiling when he was around. He was slightly dismissive of him when he was warning about eating properly or take out the trash. He could clearly feel a bit of a gap forming between them, and if that didn’t scare him, nothing did. The feeling was bitter, and he didn’t like it, and Ignis admitted it made him nasty and unfair at times. Especially to Prompto. He kept his distance, and subtly reminded him of Noctis’ status whenever he could. The boy was too easy to get flustered, he was too weak. If Ignis wanted he could have crushed him, but whenever he could see Noctis smiling at Prompto he felt guilty for even thinking of such. Since when did he become like his Piano Masters, Ignis started to wonder.

Ignis was sure he will work the issue out in himself, but first Noctis decided to come out of his shell.

“You don’t like Prompto, do you?” he asked one time when they actually took Prompto home after school. Ignis once again was terribly formal with him, and unable to even open up to any kind of communication with him.

“That’s not true,” Ignis said, looking over his shoulder at Noctis for a second from the driver’s seat.

“You talk to him like he’s… you’re rude with him,” Noctis tried.

“I just merely want him to know you’re not an ordinary classmate of his,” Ignis retorted.

“No, you want to scare him off!” the prince snapped. Ignis fell silent. “I get it, I’m a prince, no matter what, but he’s my friend! I like him!”

Ignis pressed his lips together, not wanting to tell Noctis how he has to choose who he was friends with exactly because of his status. Those people out there could be just deceiving him for all kinds of reasons. But Ignis knew that argument won’t do any good right now.

“I don’t want you to drive me anymore,” Noctis said when Ignis had no retort to his little tantrum.

“Noct...!” Ignis frowned, almost missing a light.

“You heard me, let someone else drive me, someone who won’t make Prompto feel bad!” the prince insisted. Ignis felt that bitterness return and Prompto wasn’t even present. He could drive Noctis so rarely like this too. It was practically the only time they spent together. If it was taken away then…

“Do you really want that?” Ignis asked.

“No, I’m ordering you to do that,” Noctis said. “I’m a prince, so I can order you.”

If something showed how pissed Noctis was, that did. Ignis had never heard him talk like that, not even on official events. And now he was the lucky one who got to experience first hand indeed.

“As you wish,” he agreed quietly.

All the way back to Noctis’ apartment Gracilius’ words echoed inside his head a bit more than he wanted ‘don’t get too lonely’. But he wasn’t. He had people to talk to, but he wasn’t exactly sure what to talk about. It was difficult, but Ignis had no time to think about it. Or rather, pretended he had no time for any of that. He arranged drivers for Noctis with the heaviest heart, but he couldn’t say no to his ‘order’. Though he warned him that he will still come around if Noctis needed to have a report on something. The prince just told him to phone before dropping by. At one hand it was good Nocits was setting boundaries, on the other, Ignis never thought they would need to do this.

Ignis wondered if that was that. If he truly was reduced to the role of an advisor to Noctis and nothing else. It was… it was the first time it happened, but the feeling of it was familiar somehow. The tension in his limbs, the tightness of his throat. It was familiar at the core. And whenever he thought he slept it off, it returned whenever he was handing an issue of Noctis or saw Gracilius around school. Which was a whole different thing to handle.

Gracilius still greeted him like they were friends, but his smile was brighter, easier, warmer. Ignis knew they didn’t work, but whenever he saw that smile he felt just a bit of tension in his stomach. Maybe if he tried harder, maybe then things would be different. Though whenever he was thinking about a probable future with the boy, he just couldn’t think of anything. The only future he saw for himself was with Noctis; that was clear as day. As his advisor, as his spymaster if his Piano Masters let him graduate at all. And as his brother, even if Noctis seemed to reject him in that department. Was there even more to his future at all? 


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the rating, it had to be upped.

“What’s that?” Master Sulla asked suddenly. Ignis stopped playing the piano, freezing. He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. “Hold out your hands,” she ordered and Ignis did it without question. And then he saw it. What she saw. His hands were shaking. “What is that?” she asked in her deep, threatening voice that would make generals bow. For a moment, Ignis quivered too.

“Could be the coffee,” Ignis bluffed. He was dismissive. It was better to be that than scared. Because he had no idea of what was going on with his hands, but if he was thinking about it, it was ugly.

“Are you cracking, Ignis?” she asked, and her smirk was worse than a slap in the face. Ignis closed his eyes and reached up to set his glasses before he looked at her. His expression not giving anything away, just like they taught him.

“You first,” he challenged. But she had been in this business longer than he had, she didn’t budge.

“We’ll see, indeed,” she said. “Continue,” she ordered.

When the lesson ended, Ignis felt like he had been working three days straight. He had never been so tired after a lesson. Though he suspected it wasn’t entirely the lesson itself. Ignis knew he wasn’t himself lately, even more so ever since summer break started.

Not having to drive Noctis from school anymore had granted Ignis with some free time. Which was fine, he could use that little time for training in the school’s training room, which usually was empty at that time as school activities weren’t starting just yet. Ignis thought he’ll be fine even during summer break too, but he had to double-check that cocky thought. He was busy, yes, but not busy enough once he had no classes to attend for a month.

Thankfully, Gladio was still available for sparring when Ignis’ head was too full to think at all.

“Hey, watch out!” Gladio yelled when he realized Ignis won’t be quick enough to dodge his next attack. Even if it was just a wooden greatsword it could still hit pretty hard. Ignis bared his teeth and refused to raise his hand to block it. If he would try he may have a worse bruise than the one he’d originally get, or at least that’s what his calculations told him. Though Gladio actually got his back and tried to pull his attack back, so Ignis only just had to duck to get out of the way of the sword. It was a team effort. But it wouldn't have been needed if Ignis’ head was clear at all.

“Sorry, that was my mistake,” Ignis sighed once they both caught their breath a little.

“Well, duh? Where’s your focus, nanny?” Gladio hissed, swinging his sword a little to get rid of some nervous energies. Ignis took off his glasses to rub his eyes, not even having a good come back to that. “You know what, let’s stop for today.”

“What, no!” Ignis gasped, looking up at Gladio. “I can go on.”

“Right, and the next time I’m gonna bash your face in, cuz your mind was somewhere else. I really don’t wanna be the guy who breaks pretty Scientia’s face,” Gladio rolled his eyes as he put the sword on his shoulder, eying Ignis. Ignis scoffed. He hated that nickname, but apparently it was what some people called him at the Academy. “Are you alright, tho’?” Gladio asked.

Ignis sighed, nodding and spreading his arms.

“I think I can finish alone if you have somewhere to be,” he said as an answer.

“Now that’s something I’ve never heard before,” Gladio laughed out loud, while Ignis just rolled his eyes, and wiped his forehead. “Ok listen, I’m gonna go now, but we can meet up later.”

“For training?”

“Astrals, Ignis, there are other things people can do aside training,” the Amicitia threw his free hand up. Ignis narrowed his eyes at him. “Let’s go have a drink.”

“A drink?” Ignis repeated in disbelief.

“Yeah, you’re legal aren’t you? You buy us rounds with your ID, I look like I’m already old enough, problem solved,” Gladio grinned.

Ignis sighed long and suffering. He shouldn’t have told Gladio that he’d already counted legal due to his Scientia status. But here they were. And if he had to be honest, it was a good plan. Or at least a plan he could get behind.

“Fine, but you pay.”

Apparently, Gladio was only joking when he said Ignis will use his ID, because the Amicitia had his fake ID on him. Ignis admitted that the did look over 20 if you squinted, so it was an easy pass. Him, however? He was only saved because his ID was indeed real, with the royal crest on it, and if put under any kind of light it showed all the markers of it being real. Because it was. Ignis was legal ever since he was 10. They got their first rounds and found themselves a dark booth at the back of a horror themed pub.

“Not a nice place, but I know it’s a good one,” Gladio said, looking around a bit proud, as if he owned the bar. It was a filthy place, but it did what it was intended for. The decoration was fake spiderwebs with spiders and ghosts, with some strangely creepy portraits all over the wooden walls. There were dark corners, booths with the illusion of privacy and Ignis had never seen beer being sold at such a low price. Somehow he wondered how even Gladio found a place like this, when he sure could afford one of the more… exclusive places. 

“You bought many of your dates here?” Ignis asked casually, eying Gladio from across the table.

“Pff, no,” came the lie and the scoff and Ignis just chuckled. Yes, he wasn’t here to pry into Gladio’s very active dating life. They were here for something else. Though if Ignis had to be honest with himself, he wasn’t sure what, actually. Or why Gladio was here, why did he invite him to drink. He never did that, ever. They hung out, yes; they had training together, yes, but for Gladio to basically invite him like this… it was the first time.

Ignis leaned back in his seat, still eying the other as if he was trying to solve him. Gladio was wearing a black hoodie he liked so much. His baseball cap was placed on the table next to his beer. He must have cut his hair not long ago, it was still fresh and short, buzzcut on the sides and longer at the top. He looked handsome, and this darker light made him appear more exciting in some sense. Ignis sighed, looking at his own beer and the two shots with it, wondering for only just a moment if it was a good idea to indulge in this. Whatever ‘this’ was. For them to hang out like this at all. He had no idea why it felt off; they were friends, it was fine to meet outside of school and training. Right? And yet... 

Maybe it had something to do with those strange moments when Gladio was sitting in his car, filling up the small place with his warmth, and scent, being close and yet not close enough. Or maybe those times when they get too close during training, when Gladio’s hand brush over his skin, when his breath is warm on his neck… It felt off, because the only time Ignis had seen Gladio other than school or training was his dreams.

Even so, as Ignis thought about it, it felt nice. After feeling a bit alone when Noctis ditched him, and how his teachers handled him, it felt good to be picked up. To just being invited to have a good time.

“Shall we start, then?” Ignis smirked, holding up a shot of rum, deciding he’ll leave the thinking for now. Because that wasn’t what they were here for.

“Way ahead of ya’,” Gladio grinned and immediately emptied both of his shot glasses.

Ignis knew his limits with alcohol, but that was one thing knowing them, and another to deliberately ignore them. He didn’t want to think about that for now. Or about his lessons, about Noctis and Prompto and the tension he felt over it all. He wanted to have just another glass and listen to some stupid half made-up story Gladio was telling with his roaring voice and bold movements. The only reason he still haven’t broken a glass was because Ignis’ reflexes were still working, even when being less sober by the moment. At one of those occasions when Gladio once again knocked over a glass they both reached to catch it before it spilled its contents.

Ignis managed to grab the glass, but Gladio ended up grabbing his hand. It felt like reaching right into the fire, and yet Ignis didn’t pull away. The Amicitia stopped talking and Ignis stopped giving a damn.

“Why did you invite me?” Ignis asked, feeling his tongue being a bit lazy in his mouth. He grabbed at Gladio’s hand when he was trying to pull it back.

“You looked like you needed a break,” the other said. He was suddenly  _ flustered _ . It was like the scent of blood to a shark. And Ignis was too far gone to care about anything than Gladio’s warmth in his hand in his. He squeezed his fingers and pulled his hand close. All those lessons suddenly about seduction lined up in his mind, even drunk like this. It should have been a warning sign, but he didn’t stop. He pulled Gladio’s fingers to his lips. “Ign-” the boy tried, but Ignis already opened his mouth to put his index finger on his tongue.

It was a slow, deliberate lick. Ignis swallowed the salty taste, letting it burn his throat in a way no alcohol would. Gladio’s face was flushed, his brown eyes dark and dangerous as he was staring at Ignis’ mouth, his finger still hovering at his lower lip.

Ignis should have stopped then and there. Right then and there. But he didn’t. Instead he pulled away and stood up.

“I’ll go wash my face,” he said. As he passed Gladio he reached out and squeezed his shoulder. He didn’t say he’ll be right back. Because he won’t. If Gladio understood what he wanted to say, then they probably won’t be back for a while.

From then on, it was a blur. The restroom of the bar was in a condition that was expected; kind of clean, but only if you didn’t look too close. One of the lights was broken, and the remaining neon lights didn’t illuminate it enough. It smelled of things, and industrial cleaning products, and had a condom vending machine on the wall by the sinks. Ignis had no time to check for more details, because Gladio arrived just a moment later. He was out of breath, and he looked like he was on a hunt, and if Ignis didn’t want him that much he would have been afraid. Those heavy arms were around him the next moment, sliding low on his hips to pull him against Gladio’s body.

Ignis knew he was far gone, that he wasn’t giving a shit, but when he tilted his head up to kiss Gladio, he knew he may have miscalculated. No, kissing was too intimate, that wasn’t… But that was his last sober thought, because Gladio kissed back and it was  _ wonderful _ . He kissed like he wanted him, like he wanted to bite at him; he wasn’t soft and careful as Gracilius, or firm as Nyx, far from it. It threw Ignis off; it reminded him of his dreams, of all those nights he spent buried under his covers, trying to make that itch go away. It felt like all those times could never come near to what was about to happen.

It was unclear who dragged who in one of the stalls, but Ignis was sure that Gladio turned him around and pushed him against the wall once inside. His jeans and underwear were lowered to this knees in no time, being barely aware when Gladio even had time to unbuckle his belt.

“You good?” Gladio whispered into his ear, just when two of his wet fingers slipped into Ignis. He gasped, trying to find something to hold on the wall of the stall.

“Good,” Ignis breathed, looking over his shoulder. When did Gladio get the lube...?

It wasn’t the first time Gladio was doing this, Ignis realized as he continued to prepare him. He was wet and lose in no time, his knees trembling from need, his cock aching for attention. And when Gladio whispered ‘gonna put it in’ Ignis had to force his knees not to buckle. How could he be so weak for those words? How could he be so hungry for something he never had a taste of? His knees were pushed further apart, and Gladio grabbed his hips and positioned himself. Then pushed inside. Slow and burning, and even that knocked all the air out of Ignis’ lungs.

“Relax, relax,” the boy stuttered, pleasure dripping from his voice. Ignis leaned heavily against the wall, eyes closed and his glasses slipping. He shivered from the mere size that Gladio was, and from the pleasure that was bubbling up in the distance. This was better than any dream. He felt himself relax, and Gladio pushed in deeper. With a moan, Ignis spread his legs more.

Hands were sliding on his thighs, on his stomach and chest under his shirt as Gladio was taking him with a firm and impatient pace. Ignis having to bite his lips to not give a sound. It was so good, it was… 

“Harder…” he demanded once again when he felt like the pace won’t be enough. And Gladio didn’t have to be told twice. He pulled him a bit away from the wall, his hips tilting in a different angle, and pushed in deeper before pulling almost all out. Ignis saw stars, his hands shaking against the wall as he was trying to keep himself up.

“Like that?” Gladio asked, and Ignis could hear from his voice that he was smirking. Because yes,  _ exactly like that _ . There was no air anymore, there was just Gladio and his cologne and his touches on his skin and the rush as their bodies met and separated in a tense rhythm and Ignis felt his peak crawl up his skin; sticky and painful and utterly arousing. He was so hard, so painfully hard and he couldn’t reach down to touch himself, because he had no idea if he could hold himself up with one arm. His legs started to go numb, his heart was rushing and his skin was itching from how his pleasure peaked more and more to the point where he thought it couldn't be any better before the end, but it started to build up more and more.

“Gladio…” Ignis heard himself beg. It was too much, it was too good, he was drowning, he wasn’t sure how he can handle this anymore. But then Gladio made it worse by sliding his hand over his chest and grabbed at his shirt. He pulled him away the wall, right on his cock and leaned in to kiss at the back of his neck. Ignis gasped sharply, his eyes closed tight as his orgasm shook him, like he was crumbling. He came messy and wild and he honestly had no idea if it would ever stop. But it did. It could have been hours, but Gladio commented something like ‘that was fast’ and Ignis had no strength to argue with him. Though as he shifted, he felt Gladio’s hardness still inside, still brushing up against all the right spots and making his after orgasm tremors worse.

“Fuck,” Gladio panted, his hand sneaking around Ignis’ hips to his thigh, then to his softening cock. “Wish I could’a seen that,” he whispered against Ignis’ neck, making Ignis wonder if he wanted to say that out loud at all. But he had no time to think about that at all, because Gladio pulled out and made Ignis turn around.

Ignis wanted to ask what’s up, but the other kissed all and any words he wanted to utter with his lips. Ignis felt Gladio tug his jeans lower, making him step out of them before guiding one of his legs around his hips. Then he slid his arms under his knees and hauled him up. Ignis was shaking from the display of strength here, and if he didn’t just came moments ago he most definitely would have then. He was breathing heavily, his heart trying to break his ribcage. It was all so fucking hot that he almost regretted coming.

Gladio then once again pushed in, making Ignis gasp out loud. He was so fucking sensitive, and this was better than anything he could have ever done with his hands and toys. He grabbed at Gladio’s shoulder as he started to fuck him again, against the wall, holding him up with his strength only. And Ignis trusted him not to let him fall.

Astrals, Gladio wasn’t gentle. He took Ignis like he was waiting for this all his life, and now he couldn’t wait to be patient or gentle anymore. His movements were heavy and almost bruising and Ignis loved every single thing about it; from the pain, the pleasure, the way Gladio was moaning against his neck, louder when Ignis pulled at his hair to tilt his head back to kiss him. The only thing Ignis wished was to feel more of Gladio’s skin. With him still wearing his hoodie, there was no way he could feel more of it. But he wanted to. He wanted to explore it all, feel it against him, inside him, on his tongue, under his fingertips.

“Ignis- Ignis-” Gladio gasped suddenly and his movements lost their rhythm, they had become erratic and urgent, and even Ignis’ toes curled as he felt the boy work toward his orgasm.

Then, there it was. Gladio froze, but Ignis could feel the power of his peak, both of them trembling under the strength of it. When Ignis thought it was over, Gladio stuttered a breath and pushed in again, still coming. It would have been a huge mess if he wasn’t wearing a condom. For a second Ignis wished they’d have made a mess…

“Fuck,” Gladio panted, kissing at Ignis’ neck and jaw as he was trying to come off his high, still holding him up, which was lucky because Ignis wasn’t sure he could stand at all. Then ever so slowly, with a gentleness Ignis had no idea Gladio could muster up, he lowered one of his legs, but still held up one, snug around his hips. Though with the now free hand Gladio brushed up on Ignis’ shivering thigh and toward where they were still connected. With a grunt, Gladio pulled out, making Ignis feel a bit empty for a second. Once again he wished they made a mess. But that thought was interrupted when he felt fingers slide into him again.

“Gladio,” Ignis whispered a little unsure, tilting his head to look at the boy. The Amicitia let out a shaky breath then raised his gaze at him.

“I wish I’d still be in ‘ere,” he growled, his voice vibrating inside Ignis’ chest. It made it clear for Ignis that he also wanted to make a mess. So Ignis just leaned over, against his best judgement and kissed those lips. He wished Glado would have claimed him too, in a way. But he still did and it wasn’t  _ enough _ .

As they were coming off their high and stumbled to clean up, still in the stall, somehow unable to separate as of yet, Ignis felt just exactly how drunk he was. It crossed his mind how good this would have been if he was sober.

“Astrals, Ignis,” Gladio huffed as he buckled his belt with clumsy movements. Ignis was already cleaned up and clothed, thanks for the help of the other. Now he was pressing his back against the stall and resting, waiting for Gladio. “You’re… shit, you’re not messing around.”

“You neither,” Ignis raised an eyebrow, feeling a lazy smirk play at his lips. He was drunk and high and his hangover will not be pleasant, but he didn’t care. All he cared for that moment was Gladio and how huge he was and that they should go out drinking more. “I thought my first time will be rough in a different way,” he spoke suddenly.

“What?” Gladio frowned at him.

“I mean, I thought-” Ignis tilted his head, closing his eyes to try and find the words of what he wanted to say, but Gladio interrupted him.

“Wait, wait, you-” he held up his hand. “Your first time? What do you mean? Didya just say it was your first time? With me?”

“My first time… in general,” Ignis answered, frowning. He saw Gladio’s face losing all its color. “What is it?”

“You said- you told me you already had your first with that Glaive!” Gladio snapped, not looking at Ignis but all around them in the stall as if he was still trying to comprehend something.

“I- yes, that may have been a lie,” Ignis cleared his throat. Alright now he felt bad about it.

“You lied to m- Shit!” Gladio threw his hands up and finally burst out of the stall stumbling toward the sinks. Ignis followed him, more confused than he ever felt.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when Gladio braced himself on the counter, not speaking.

“What’s wrong?!” Gladio suddenly whisked around glaring at Ignis. “I just- I just- I just fucked you against a wall of the shittiest toilet of the shittiest bar, that’s what!” he yelled, motioning all over the room. Ignis turned to look around, because yes it was a shitty place, but was that really Gladio’s problem?

“I wanted it,” he tried, maybe Gladio was unsure that Ignis actually wanted this?

“Yes, but- that’s not the point here!” the other yelled, clearly agitated. It was so loud that Ignis was sure everyone in this ‘shitty bar’ must have heard it. He wondered if the reason he can’t understand what Gladio was getting at is because they are both drunk, and it frustrated him. He could usually read people, but this time he had no idea what caused Gladio to be so worked up.

“Then what’s the point, tell me!” Ignis demanded, but Gladio shook his head. “Was it that I lied? Is that it?”

“Shut up,” Gladio hissed and leaped toward the door. Ignis moved with him, grabbing at his hoodie, and hating how his grip trembled for completely different reasons than pleasure this time.

“Is that it?!” he shouted, but Gladio pried his hand off of himself and pushed him away.

“Don’t fucking- Fuck you!” he said, not even throwing it at Ignis face, not even looking at him as he shouldered the door open and disappeared behind it. Ignis wanted to follow him, but he just couldn’t. His whole body was aching and suddenly felt like he was unable to move. He was half convinced Gladio cools his head off and comes back, but the more he stood there in the ‘shitty restroom’ he had to realize he probably didn’t even stop until he was out of this place.

Ignis took a deep breath to try and calm down, but it helped only a little. So he washed his face and tried to get out of that place as soon and as invisible as he could. He went home and tried to call Gladio but he didn’t pick up. Not even the morning when Ignis thought he would be calmer. He left him a few messages, bitterly thinking how he was acting like one of his dates he was about to dump. After that thought Ignis didn’t try to contact him again. If Gladio wasn’t reacting to his texts then he clearly didn’t want to talk to him. He will come around, like he always did after his sulking session. Though then why did it feel so different this time?

Gladio also cancelled on all their planned training for the summer, and never answered any text Ignis sent him. Or took any calls from him. Which was fine. This happened before. The only thing Ignis was annoyed about that this time he was unsure of the reason. Though maybe Gladio indeed took it hard that he lied to him. 

\--

On the last week of summer vacation, Noctis’ driver called Ignis early in the morning that he won’t be able to make it today due to some personal issues. So Ignis was left to find someone to drive Noctis for training that day. Ignis could have found someone, yes, but he didn’t want to. It was an excuse to both see Noct and to confront Gladio on neutral grounds. So he thanked whatever deity was throwing him this opportunity and went to fetch Noctis from his apartment.

Watching Noctis walk out of his apartment building was… well, it made Ignis realize he hadn’t met him during the summer at all. They had been in contact in emails and text messages, but this was the first time in a while Ignis could see him personally. And it hurt. Unusually so. It made Ignis realize how he missed Noctis, how he wanted to know if he was fine if he was doing well… other than the reports the Glaives and Crownsguard were submitting to him. Noctis didn’t speak to him, barely looked at him as he got into the car, but Ignis noted it was more out of not being able to handle him, than out of anger. Noctis didn’t seem angry, or sulking, he seemed a bit… lost. Ignis desperately wanted to ask if everything was fine, but he figured he lost that privilege when he wasn’t welcoming Prompto. So he got behind the wheel and off they went. The drive to the Citadel was too short, and too heavy on silence.

It was a bit of a nostalgic feeling, escorting Noctis to the training room and finding his soon to be Shield standing there, waiting. It was just like the first time Ignis brought Noctis to Gladio. He wished it would be like that, and they could start it all over again. Maybe this time Ignis wouldn’t mess up with either of them.

“Huh, you’re not late this time…” Gladio spoke but then he spotted Ignis. And immediately closed his mouth.

“Yeah,” Noctis sighed, shrugging.

“Gladio,” Ignis greeted him, testing the waters, basically. If he would at least receive something in return, something that would show him that Gladio wasn’t that angry at him anymore. Anything.

But there was nothing. Gladio just crossed his arms, and looked away.

Noctis blinked surprised when Gladio didn’t even acknowledge Ignis’ presence. Ignis just swallowed the words he wanted to say, following the boy with his gaze as he decided to walk toward the shelves with the wooden weapons.

“Huh,” Noctis hummed. “You hurt one of his friends too?” he asked. Overly casual. But not looking at Ignis, only heading away from him toward the locker room. But it was like a knife stabbed right into Ignis’ chest. He watched Noctis walking away, thinking how these were the words Noctis thought to say to him after a long time of absence? Did he really mess up this bad? Suddenly he remembered what the Scientias taught him all those years ago:  _ If you mess up, you’re gone, you have no help. No Lucis Caelum would help you, no Shield would ever associate with you, no one would ever reach for you if you fell. _

“That’s not…” Ignis started, but he realized no one would listen in that room. So he just swallowed once again and turned to leave. It could have been out of fear or something else, but he arranged a ride for Noctis for when his training would end. Ignis didn’t feel the strength in him to bear that silence again.

Since he was in the Citadel, Ignis figured he should he find his Uncle while he was here. Mostly because he could always make him feel a little better about things. And Ignis didn’t have to be disappointed. They could spend a short lunch and tea together, while Ignis was updated on all the juicy gossip in the Citadel, and in return he also supplied some of his own. Casamus also appeared to be worried about him, asking him if he was sleeping enough or eating enough. He also asked him if Ignis wouldn’t want to stay in the Citadel for the night, as the weather report was saying that a huge storm will bring the autumn weather with it. Ignis considered the offer, and in the end he decided to take it. Maybe it’ll be relaxing to sleep in his old room, maybe he’ll feel more well rested in the morning. Maybe that tension that feels like tearing his chest apart will loosen just a bit, and then he would be able to breathe again.

The storm hit late at night, waking Ignis from an uneasy sleep. He didn’t get up, just laid there, listening to the rumble of thunder and rain and wind, feeling his throat tighten the more it raged on. It was a huge storm, a loud one, one that taps against the window as if it were a malicious force, wanting to break in. Ignis wasn’t afraid of storms, no. It was something else he felt. It must have been.

Suddenly, he remembered that one storm, when he was reading to a little prince Noctis.

_ “Iggy? Are you afraid of storms?” _

“No,” Ignis found himself answering the question out loud. It wasn’t the storm he was afraid of. It surprised him, because his throat was so tight he could barely breathe, let alone speak. But he still could, apparently. He had no sleep that night, at all. But he was still glad for his Uncle offering him to stay.

A week went by and things did not change; Noctis was still distant and Gladio was ghosting him. Ignis even reached out for Nyx, but the Glaive was deployed outside the wall and he couldn’t exactly talk either. 

Noctis’ birthday celebration was a nightmare due to this. It was a huge event and Ignis also helped to organize it. Usually he was looking forward to these parties, to when Noctis would get tired and he can sneak him away to a private little celebration, but this time Ignis didn’t attempt any of that. He kept out of sight of Noctis, though still ran around to make sure everything is going well. At the end of the evening he asked his Uncle to escort Noctis back to his room. And while these events were usually tiring, but still fulfilling, this time Ignis felt none of that.

Being in a cold war with Noctis was one thing, but Gladio’s sulking threw him off a bit more than usual. It was very different this time, this was something serious and Ignis couldn’t stop thinking about it. Couldn’t stop replaying what happened, and try to find signs or anything that would tell him the reason Gladio was this angry at him. He almost considered going to his house and bang at the door, screaming at Gladio until he tells him  _ what the fuck was up _ . But the more summer was ending, the less Ignis felt strength in his limbs at all. By the time school started, he was sure he was coming down with a cold, but he welcomed the classes and the training. Gladio was still not speaking to him, but at least he could see him on the hallways, back on his school persona.

Ignis was sure that this will pass, too. Somehow. But then one day, there was a blackout.

  
  



	14. Chapter 13

Ignis woke up with a start, gasping for air. He had no idea where he was and that scared him to no end.  _ What happened _ ? He struggled to sit up, but it felt like his arms and legs were tied down and the more he felt that the more he was fighting to move them. Was he kidnapped? What was happening? He felt terribly hot, almost boiling, and when that reached his consciousness he also noted the dizziness, the nausea. Soon the headache clawed its way inside his skull. He pushed himself up on his elbow, fighting with his stomach and still trying to get air. His vision was even more blurry due to his headache.

Someone yelled at him and Ignis was ready to fight with whatever he could if they wanted to hurt him.

“Astrals, you’re supposed to be in a half coma after all that crap.” The voice was familiar, but Ignis wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. He felt his mind attempting to shut him down once again. ‘All that crap’ must have meant drugs. Was he drugged? Why? When? He couldn’t remember what he did last. He knew he got ready for school. He was in school… but which period was the last? Was it training?

“Lemme go,” he slurred, swallowing the bile from his mouth. He wasn’t let go, he blacked out before he could have done anything to escape.

He had a few waking moments after that; he felt that they moved him. There was a car ride and Ignis tried to look outside the window to see where they were going, listening to the sounds, the smells, so he would have an idea where they were taking him before he clocked out again. They were still in Insomnia, still in the City, which was reassuring, they haven’t taken him outside the wall yet.

Next time he woke up, he felt a bit more clear than any of the times he gained consciousness before. He was in a dark, cool room. Laying on a bed. There were no restraints on his wrists or legs, but there was an IV hooked to his hand. Ignis kept his eyes closed to check his body; he was heavily drugged, but it was slowly emptying out of his system. He was still in his school uniform. He was covered, laying in a bed. He checked for any kind of injuries, but there was none. His body was fine. Yet why did he feel like he was beaten? Was it the drugs?

Ignis opened his eyes to check the room again, but it was dark and blurry. He slowly turned his head to one side, seeing a huge window, covered by heavy, dark curtains. From the glimpses he could see he guessed it must have been late afternoon. Though as he was assessing the room, one thing came to him. A scent. A smell mixed with sweat and cologne and something else. It was Gladio’s. The pillow under his head had Gladio’s smell. Ignis slowly turned his head to the other side, spotting the door of the room and a small couch by it. With someone sitting on it. Even with his glasses missing, Ignis knew who it was.

“This is your room, isn’t it?” he asked quietly, feeling it slightly difficult to speak. The person snapped up his head, looking at him from where he was sitting. Then he jumped up to hurry over and Ignis could see Gladio’s features more clearly now. If he wasn’t trained to endure various torture techniques before, he would have thought this was a hallucination, but Ignis knew it wasn’t. “What happened?”

“No, no first- first let me ask you things!” Gladio spoke then holding up his hand. “Do you know where you are?”

“I just… said it,” Ignis frowned. “Your room.”

“Right, um, who’s the king?”

“Regis Lucis Caelum.”

“Do you know the date?”

Ignis told him quietly, and Gladio didn’t ask him more, just rubbed his face.

“Did I answer correctly, professor?” Ignis couldn’t help asking.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be fine if you can sass me,” Gladio snorted, but he still didn’t look happy. Even with his features a bit blurry, Ignis could tell. So he raised his hand, he one with the IV hooked on it, and reached for Gladio.

“What happened?” he asked again. He felt the other reach for him and take his hand in the most gentle hold he had ever felt.

“You collapsed, you idiot,” Gladio spoke quietly, with a slight shiver in his voice. “I thought you’re going to die. Then you were being very difficult to treat, so we uh, had to sedate you.”

Sedatives. So that’s why everything was so floaty and blurry and artificially calm. It was either that thought, or that they were slowly leaving his system, but it made Ignis slightly nervous. It wasn’t the drugs that made him collapse, then? Wait…

“The doc said you’re overworked, Iggy,” Gladio spoke. Overworked? What kind of bullshit was that. Ignis worked even less than he did before, he even had free time. Which he used for studying and other productive things, he was doing  _ well _ . He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, feeling his eyelids heavy. But he couldn’t go back to sleep, he had to go home, to prepare for tomorrow. And to catch up with the work be obviously missed today.

“Wait…” he frowned suddenly, as if just realizing what Gladio said. “The doctor, which doctor?” he asked, looking up at Gladio, worried. If it was the one from the Citadel, or from school the news will definitely reach his family. And he couldn’t let Master Sulla know that he indeed cracked. He just couldn’t, because he wasn’t. This wasn’t a crack, he wasn’t going to break…!  _ He didn’t break _ .

“Calm down, he’s an old reliable fellow, they are treating the Amicitias since generations now,” Gladio frowned and sat down on the bed. “I… figured you wouldn’t want the whole world know what happened. So I uh, took you from school and brought you here, so he could take a look at you.”

Ignis stared at Gladio. Once again, it was like he was reading Ignis’ mind. He got his back in a way no one else would. Even after they weren’t talking for months now.

“He’s trustworthy, Iggy,” Gladio continued. “No records, nothing until you say so. Officially, he was just here to check on me. You can be assured.”

“Thank you,” Ignis whispered finally. His eyes went to his hand in Gladio’s then to the IV next to the bed. He squinted to check how much is in it still. “I need to go…” he muttered. He could feel Gladio tensing up, wanting to say something.

“At least wait until this thing goes down. It’s an hour tops,” he said. He didn’t want to stop him. Which was good. Ignis wouldn’t have listened anyway. Instead Gladio just put his hand back on the bed, patting it gently, almost protective. Ignis raised his gaze at the other’s face, wanting to read from it. But all he saw was stress and fear. He knew this wasn’t the best time to talk to Gladio, he himself couldn’t get his thoughts straight either. The drugs needed to clear out of his system too for it. He didn’t want to fall back asleep, but his body said otherwise.

When Ignis woke again, it was definitely deep into the night. It wasn’t an hour he went back to sleep, but much more. Why didn’t they wake him? There was no IV hooked into his hand anymore, but the needle was still there. Ignis eyed it in the darkness, wondering if he should remove it, but he felt no strength for it now. He slowly sat up in the bed, letting the covers fall, making him shiver. He was still in his school uniform. He felt dirty and tired, and only barely as a human being. Gladio was laying on the sofa by the door, sleeping too. Of course, where would he sleep, Ignis took his bed. Even if it was a huge bed. Just as huge as Noctis’ was in the Citadel.

Ignis finally decided to leave. He didn’t want to stay more than an hour anyway. So he slowly got out of bed, his steps heavy, even if he was trying everything to make them light. He had no idea where his glasses could be, but he had a spare at home, he will come back if Gladio had them. He just wanted to leave, he had work to do, he was wasting enough time as it is. He wasn’t breaking… Once out of the room, Ignis looked around, realizing that this was the very first time he visited the Amicitia residence. It slightly felt like a forbidden place to be. But he didn’t think too much about it as he leaned heavily on the railing of the gallery and headed for the stairs. It was quiet and dark, but he could feel his way around and his eyes were slowly getting used to the darkness. His vision wasn’t clear, but he could manage. What truly bothered him was that his breath started to come shorter with each step he took. By the time he was reaching the stairs he was panting. Grabbing the railing, Ignis took a few steps down the stairs, just to stumble. He took a sharp, scared breath and grabbed the railing with both hands to prevent himself falling. He could barely hold himself not to fall down the stairs.

After a few seconds of just breathing, Ignis realized he won’t be able to make it down on his own legs. His whole body was trembling, threatening to collapse once again. So Ignis slowly sat down on a step to rest a little. His heart was beating fast and urgent, telling him he has something to do, something to get to, something to be afraid of. And no matter how dark and quiet it was, it wasn’t slowing down. Ignis felt his throat tightening once again as he was staring at the empty living room through the wooden balusters of the railing. He was trying to take in all the tiny details, even if he couldn’t see most of it. But he was trying to think of anything than the fear that was attacking his mind and body.

He was so occupied to determine what kind of coffee table the living room had, that he didn’t hear a door open upstairs. Gladio rushed outside, looking around in a hurry. Then, spotting him, he called for Ignis.

Ignis jumped, his pulse peaking again. He grabbed onto a wooden balusters as if that would hide him, wishing he had the strength to walk.

“What are you doing?” Gladio asked and Ignis absolutely hated the worry in his voice. He looked over his shoulder, watching as Gladio slowly approached him. Then sat down a step above his. “Are you sleepwalking?”

“No,” Ignis stuttered. He wanted to leave, but he had no strength to stand up, but he won’t tell that to Gladio. He won’t tell him anything anymore. Because Gladio was mad at him for Astrals know why and that was fine, that should have been fine, because Ignis was taught to go on alone, he had the skills. If he failed it was his own fault.

But it was just so hard. He was so tired. He woke up every day, facing a world where he had to fight on every corner, in every moment. He had to stand his ground in the Council, he had to keep up with training, he had to keep up with his piano lessons, and then start it all over again. And again and again. He was still doing this for Noctis, for his sake, but at the same time he missed him so much. He wanted to talk to him, just wanted to see if he was fine, if he was doing well. And when Gladio decided to ditch him too, Ignis thought it was fine. But it wasn’t. He missed him too. He missed the feeling of having someone at his back. He didn’t need anyone to save him, he just wanted someone to push their backs against his in a fight, and then he went and fucked that up. He should have been fine alone, do things alone and without help, but apparently he couldn’t.

“I…” Ignis heard himself speak, his voice thick with the guilt of his own failure. “I can’t do this alone…” he said, his chest tight; so tight that his eyes watered at the pain of it.

“What? Wait… Iggy…?” Gladio stuttered.

“I can’t do this without you, you’re the only one who gets it,” Ignis stuttered, his tears streaming down his face like they never before. He cried so much it stung his eyes. He tried to wipe them away, but his hands were trembling so badly it hardly did anything. “I never wanted to lie to you, I didn’t want you truly angry at me, I wanted to make it right, but you didn’t let me…”

It was just a stupid lie. It didn’t mean anything, he was just angry at Gladio at that time for being a jerk. He never thought it’ll be the thing Gladio will blow up to get rid of him. Ignis thought he was the only one who could carry the burden that’s him, no one else could. Or so Ignis thought.

“Ignis, wh… Astrals, are you crying?!” the other asked.

Ignis didn’t have the strength to cry as loud as he wanted. He was choking on weak sobs, holding onto a baluster for dear life. He was so tired, but he couldn’t sleep anymore. It hurt so much, but he had no idea just how to make it better. Is he going to end up broken and useless? Would his family send him away somewhere beyond the wall, just like they did to Matrona? Will King Regis appoint someone else as Noctis’ retainer? Will Galdio be glad he doesn’t have to yell at him anymore?

“What have you  _ done,  _ Glady?!” Ignis’ destructive train of thoughts were interrupted by a high voice, coming somewhere on the top of the stairs.

“I didn’t do anything!” Gladio yelled back defensive.

“You made him  _ cry _ !” the little girl yelled and ran down the stairs, her small steps thumping determined as she reached them.

“It wasn’t me he started crying on his own…! Why aren’t you in bed, Iris?!” the other Amicitia said, but his sister ignored him. She stumbled to step around him and arrive by Ignis’ side, elbowing Gladio in his side.

“Did he yell at you?” Iris asked, tilting her head to look into Ignis’ face. She was around eight, and terribly resembled his big brother.

“No,” Ignis said quietly, sniffing. He… wasn’t sure he was qualified to handle this situation anymore. He had no idea what to do right now, his mental state was a mess.

“You yelled at him didn’t you?!” Iris gasped, looking up at his brother.

“Go back to sleep this is really not a time for your stupid to be here!”

“You’re stupid!” Iris yelled back. “Hey, ignore him, okay, he’s a big brute!”

“Iris, I’m gonna tell dad you weren’t in bed!” Gladio tried.

“Then ‘m gonna tell him you made our guest cry!” Iris yelled, then turned back to Ignis. “Are you okay?”

Ignis honestly had no answer for that question. Yet, he felt his head nod. No wait, he wasn’t fine, why did he nod? It just made him cry more. Iris sighed, just watching him a little before she spoke again.

“You know, I can make something that would make you feel better! Wanna try it?” she asked.

“Iris…” Gladio sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. But his sister just glared at him then turned back to Ignis.

“Come on, I’ll make it for you. We have to go to the kitchen,” she said and held her tiny hand out for him. Ignis didn’t move, just looked at her a little lost. “You know, when someone holds out their hand for you, you can take it!” Iris said.

Oh. Ignis blinked and reached to take her hand. It was warm and soft and tiny and even with his weakened state, Ignis was afraid he will break such a precious thing. But then Iris squeezed his fingers and pulled.

“Iris, he needs rest, he can’t walk…!” Gladio tried from behind him.

“He can! We’re gonna have to go slow!” Iris stumped. “Right?”

Ignis swallowed, nodding again. He took a shaky breath and pulled himself up, with the help of the railing, but his other hand was holding onto Iris’. They started walking; slow and deliberate, with Gladio following them. It took them a bit of time, but they reached the kitchen. By that time Ignis was visibly shaking, and basically collapsed on one of the chairs by the kitchen table.

“Stay here, I’ll make it for you,” Iris assured him and went to the counter. The next moment Gladio presented Ignis a paper towel without any word. Ignis used it to clean his face, but his tears weren’t stopping. “It’s a magical cocoa!” Iris spoke suddenly.

“Oh, yes the magical cocoa,” Gladio hummed, crossing his arms as he leaned against the counter.

“It makes everything better,” Iris said, looking at Ignis for a second.

Ignis frowned. Magical cocoa? He looked at Gladio for help, but the boy just smiled all too knowingly, watching Iris work, even if she barely reached the countertop.

The magical cocoa contained milk, cold this time, cocoa powder, sugar, terrible amount of sugar, cinnamon and magic. The magic was invisible, but anyone could cast it, as they informed Ignis when they put the mug in front of him and Iris waved her fingers over it.

“You too, Glady!” she nagged her brother. Gladio just sighed and stepped to them, doing the ‘magic’ too by waving his fingers over the drink. “Now, this is a magical cocoa now and it’ll make you feel better.”

Ignis watched as Iris pushed the mug toward him. His eyes watering again without even knowing why. It was like everything that was bottling up in his chest suddenly burst and leaking out and never stopping anymore. He raised his hands to reach for the mug, knowing he won’t be able to hold it in one hand. He looked into the drink, with still some undissolved cocoa powder chunks floating on top of it. It smelled of sugar and fatty milk, and if he had to be honest, it was a very cozy smell. He struggled to take a sip, but when he did it indeed felt magical. Could have been the fact that this was probably his first meal of the day, or the cocoa, or the magic, indeed, either way it somehow eased some of his tension.

“It’s very good, thank you,” he rasped, smiling a little.

“Good,” Iris smiled, clapping happily. “And next time Glady yells at you, you yell back at him.”

“I didn’t yell at him,” Gladio insisted, tousling Iris’ hair with a bit more force than necessary, making her swap his hand away angrily. “But you’ll have to sleep now, it’s school tomorrow!” With that, Gladio grabbed his sister and threw her over his shoulder to carry her away like a sack of flour. It was almost funny, if Ignis had any strength to laugh. He listened to the siblings yell at each other as they headed up the stairs, not wanting to listen to the silence that reached him once again.

Ignis put both his hands on the mug, even if it wasn’t warm. But it was made for him, it was magical, and it was there to make him feel better. It was there to make the silence a bit better, right? Or make something better at least. It was a struggle to keep drinking it, not because of the taste but because of how weak Ignis felt. He felt like falling back asleep, maybe forever, but then who would look out for Noctis…? Until he can, until he can walk on his two legs he will fight to stay by his side even if the prince hates him.

Gladio came back a few minutes later, finding Ignis still by the kitchen table, holding onto the mug for dear life, tears streaming down his face still.

“We just put all that fluid into you so you can waste it?” Gladio spoke softly, teasing. But Ignis had no energy for him, he was just staring into his magical cocoa. Blank, because that was still better than anything he was thinking right now. “Were you serious?” Gladio asked suddenly.

Ignis just turned his gaze at him in question.

“About… You said I’m the only one who gets it,” the boy said, taking a chair next to him to sit down. “But… what exactly?”

“Duty,” Ignis muttered. “Of Noctis.”

With a heavy sigh, Gladio rubbed his face, looking around the kitchen. He settled eying the counter before he spoke.

“You never told me that,” he said. “You never… tell me things, Ignis.”

“I’m sorry,” Ignis pulled his mug closer to his chest. He knew that. He was told not to babble, not to say anything, especially to an Amicitia, and while he trusted Gladio, he was still too secretive. Too uncommunicative. “I never wanted to lie…”

“It’s not that,” Gladio sighed, biting at his lower lip before he would say more. “It’s not the lie, Iggy.”

Ignis’ shoulders dropped in defeat. In all his life he always knew what people were thinking, what their words truly meant, what their actions were trying to hide. But right now when it came to Gladio he pulled a blank. All he knew that he didn’t like to have that gap between them.

“Drink up and let’s go back to bed,” Gladio spoke suddenly. “We can talk in the morning, okay?”

“I should go,” Ignis said, even if he knew he had barely any strength to get up from his seat. Gladio sighed, then motioned toward the door.

“After you, if you insist,” he said. Ignis didn’t even glare at him, because Gladio was right for calling him out on that. “Listen, we… you need rest. And things are usually brighter in the morning, alright? Just get some sleep?”

Ignis sighed shaking his head at his own incompetence. In the end, he gulped down the remaining cocoa, watching how some sugar was still left at the bottom of the mug. Ignis wondered if that meant that he didn’t drink all the magic. What a silly thought, he told himself, leaning back in his chair.

“Come on, Jared will wash it the morning,” Gladio said, holding his hand out for Ignis. The other just swallowed, eying that hand.

“I saw a couch in the living room, can you--” he tried to ask Gladio to help him walk there but the boy shook his head.

“No, you’re not gonna be uncomfortable under the Amicitia roof, we go back to bed.”

“But I’m-!” Ignis huffed, unable to say it out loud. “I’m- I can’t walk those stairs right now,” he said at last, slightly agitated. He had never been this weak ever in his life and the feeling of it was more than frustrating. It was scary.

“I’ll carry you.”

Ignis squirmed a little, looking away. He didn’t want to be reminded of his situation  _ and  _ being humiliated.

“I won’t tell anyone, I swear. If anyone asks me I’ll tell them you flew up the stairs.”

“No one’s gonna ask you,” Ignis grumbled and he wondered why he was feeling his cheeks burn. In the end Ignis left his mug on the kitchen table, unwashed and sticky, and let Gladio take him in his arms and carry him back to his room. How come he was so warm? How come that Ignis really wasn’t that smaller and yet he felt like he was the tiniest thing in the Amicitia’s arms. Why did it feel so safe, and why did that make him cry again? “Are we going to talk in the morning?” Ignis asked after Gladio laid him down the mattress.

“Yeah…” the boy said, clearing his throat and reached for the covers, avoiding Ignis’ eyes. Ignis sniffed and reached to grab his arm.

“You promise?” he asked. He needed to know that Gladio won’t run in the morning, just like he did that day and ever since. Gladio sighed and took a moment.

“Yeah, yeah I promise, now you sleep,” he said.

“Where you’re going to sleep?”

“Astrals, you’re worse than Iris,” Gladio sighed. “I’ll sleep on that couch there, in case you need anything during the night.” Ignis didn’t let him go for a few seconds, just in case. For some reason. But in the end his arm got tired and Gladio’s arm slipped from his fingers. His hand just fell back on the bed. On the bed which was soft and huge and warm, and the covers were extremely heavy. Ignis heard Gladio say something once again, but he fell asleep before he could finish it.

The next time Ignis woke up he felt more strength in his body. He also noted that that it must have been late morning and no one woke him. With a heavy sigh, he sat up in Gladio’s bed, feeling bit of a dizziness hit him again. There was no one in the room with him, which he slightly expected, and yet he still remembered what Gladio promised him.

Ignis knew his day will be hectic, if he wanted to catch up with his work and studies, but he didn’t want to face it without a shower. He was still wearing yesterday’s clothes and he would have done anything to get out of them. As if with that he could put all that happened behind him and go on. His steps were a bit wobbly as he was heading to the bathroom shedding his school uniform on the way. He wanted to take a longer shower, but his knees started trembling, and he also knew he needed coffee before he falls asleep again. He had never felt more tired in his life. Taking the liberty to hog a towel he was also going to borrow some of Gladio’s clothes he thought, because he’d rather be caught dead than to wear yesterday’s clothes again. Though as he was picking the pieces of clothes from the closet, he realized it may not have been as good idea as he first thought.

The sweatpants were on and Ignis reached for a shirt to put on, but then he spotted the pile of hoodies next to them. Without even telling his hand to reach for them he’d took one from the pile. It was clean, smelled of laundry detergent and something else. Ignis felt like he was in a daze as he weighted the hoodie in his grip. It was heavy. Huge. And without further thinking of why he should or shouldn’t do it, he pulled it over his head to put it on. It was a comfortable and warm weight on his back and shoulders, making him shiver as warmth spread all over his chest. It had Gladio’s smell too. Ignis let out a breath, feeling his shoulders relax just a little. He closed his eyes and hugged himself. It felt good. It felt like something he didn’t know he needed. It was warm and safe; it made Ignis remember last night, when Gladio had to carry him back to bed.

For just a moment, for a stray moment, Ignis wished he could stay here. For just a little while. Until he was ready to walk out to the world again. But he knew it was a long shot; his family would come looking for him, he needed to check if the Council won’t pull anything from under Noctis’ feet again, he also needed to see if Noctis was doing well. He felt his shoulders tense up again, his heart beating fast and strained. He needed a coffee. Needed to check on his mail. And he needed his glasses.

Thankfully, his glasses were waiting for him on the bedside table, next to a glass of water, so he put them on, then collected his dropped clothes and folded them up to take them with him as he left the room. He looked down the corridor toward the stairs, the same way he took last night and collapsed on the stairs. This time Ignis was sure he’ll be able to take the stairs at least. Though as he reached the railing he spotted a few people standing around in the living room downstairs; Gladio, Sir Amicitia, Jared Hester, the Amicitia’s retainer and another person Ignis figured was a doctor.

“So it’s true,” Sit Amicitia spoke as he caught Ignis’ gaze watching them. “A Scientia under my roof.”

The others looked up too and Ignis once again felt like walking into battle. His grip on his clothes tightened as he straightened his back and tried to will his dizziness away. He saw Gladio fist his hands by his side from the effort not to move to him, probably. Ignis arrived gracefully to the small group of people, looking far better than he felt.

“Not for long,” he said. “I was about to thank you for your hospitality and all your help, and take my leave.”

“No,” Gladio spoke up suddenly. Ignis glared at him without really meaning to. “I mean-” the boy stuttered, looking at his father. “I told him he can stay.”

Ignis frowned heavily, because Gladio didn’t tell him shit. But a quick glance from the other told him to just shut up.

Sir Amicitia sighed heavily, looking over Ignis, clearly contemplating.

“Jared, go on with lunch then, calculate our guest here. Doctor, I’ll need your patience,” he spoke to the other two. “And you two, in my office, right now,” he pointed at the two boys, before he went ahead.

Ignis sent a look at Gladio who avoided his gaze like it could kill him at any moment and actually maybe he was right about it. Though as Ignis wanted to follow them he felt a careful touch on his arm.

“Give me those clothes, I’ll wash them for you,” Jared smiled at him. Ignis stopped for a moment, hesitating. He probably aren’t going to stay much longer. But it wasn’t like he had much choice here, so in the end Ignis handed the clothes over. He knew Jared from the Citadel, even if he wasn’t a servant there. He was a servant of the Amicitias, but that also meant that he was frequent around Sir Amicitia. Ignis had talked to him on a few occasions, but never too much.

“So, tell me what happened,  _ exactly _ ?” Sir Amicitia started when all three of them were in his office, and Ignis closed the door behind him. He turned to speak, but Gladio once again babbled his mouth before Ignis could say anything.

“He collapsed at school and I took him home,” he said. “I offered him that he can stay here as long as he wants, as long as he gets better,” he added, looking over at Ignis. “Because you taught me to always aid those who need help, dad.”

“Those who need help, indeed,” Sir Amicitia said and looked at Ignis once again. “But no Scientia ever needed our help.”

There it was, Ignis thought. It wasn’t just the Scientias who were aware of the Amicitias, but it seemed to be the other way around too. Ignis wondered what kind of warnings Gladio has received, what kind of warnings his father has received about the Scientias. Either way, they didn’t trust him, and that was fine.

“I truly didn’t want to trespass,” Ignis admitted, looking down. He was basically brought here against his will. Spoken for against his will. “I’ll leave immediately.”

“No! Dad…!” Gladio snapped again. “You heard what Dr. Medola said, he needs to rest!” He said, motioning toward Ignis.

“I can do that well on my own,” Ignis insisted, louder than necessary.

“No, you don’t!” Gladio turned toward him. “If you knew how to just fuckin’ stop once in a while you wouldn’t have collapsed like that!”

“I can handle myself, Gladio, I don’t need you treat me like I was a child,” Ignis retorted, feeling a bit of helpless anger grip him. For a moment he was twelve again, he was shouting with Gladio about climbing a tree, he was trying to fend off a loud, obnoxious idiot who thought he knew better than him.

“Children, enough!” Sir Amicitia yelled suddenly, shocking Ignis for a moment.  _ He wasn’t a child _ . “Fine, I see how it is,” he said when the shouting stopped. “Fine,” he repeated as he was about to say something he knew he would regret. Ignis watched him with anger in his chest, though that just made his dizziness worse. “If you want, Scientia, you can stay a few days. Until you get your bearings.”

Ignis blinked a bit unsure. He parted his lips to say something, but he wasn’t sure what exactly.

“But I…” he started, but once again Gladio decided to interrupt.

“ _ He said thank you _ !”

“I didn’t-”

“Whatever he said,” Sir Amicitia spoke to prevent yet another shouting fest here. He looked at Ignis with a more serious expression than he had on before. “I do hope he also knows that if he puts any of my children in danger, I’ll make him pay for it.”

That was fair, Ignis wondered, yet his stomach sank. He never wanted to hurt anybody from the Amicitias. Smacking Gladio sometimes was different… 

“Welcome to my home, Scientia. I do hope you’ll figure out what you want,” Sir Amicitia said then a bit louder. “With this sorted, I need to go to the Citadel,” he looked at Gladio. “I trust you handle this from here.”

“Yes sir,” Gladio nodded, watching his father walk past them. Ignis caught Sir Amicitia’s gaze once again, warning him in silence. Ignis truly wished he could honestly say that this wasn’t going to rise any kind of problems, but he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure what his family will say about this. Or what they will hear at all.

Ignis’ mood didn’t improve when Sir Amicitia left them. He let out a tired sigh, wishing he could have gotten some coffee before all that went down.

“Sorry about that-” Gladio spoke then, but Ignis had no patience for him.

“Why did you tell him- I’m- Gladio, I’m not staying!” he snapped.

“You are. I didn’t go against my dad so that you walk out here now, you’re gonna stay,” Gladio retorted.

“Why would I want to stay?!”

“Because you need rest, you need to get better. For Noct’s sake!”

“I’m…” Ignis started, but thinking of Noctis put things in perspective. He wasn’t doing well, it was clear from last night. He couldn’t climb the stairs, and right now he also felt tired and sleepy and probably his knees will start shaking once adrenaline leaves his system. He wasn’t doing well, and if right now anything happened with Noctis… And Gladio knew that. Ignis’ glare softened a little, but he was still angry. Though not at Gladio, but at himself, at this mess he caused for himself, for others too.

“It’ll be fine, Iggy, I promise,” Gladio spoke softly, putting his hand on his shoulder. It was heavy. And warm. Like a blanket. And Ignis wanted to cling to it. Instead he just nodded. Because yes, everything will be fine. Everything. Ignis looked up at Gladio, feeling a hint of guilt in the pit of his stomach.

“You know why your father didn’t want me to stay,” he muttered quietly. Gladio just swallowed, looking down. “He thought I’m here to spy on you.”

“I know,” Gladio nodded, kicking at something on the expensive carpet of his father’s study. Ignis once again felt a little frustrated about him.

“How do you know I’m not?” he asked, shrugging out of Gladio’s touch.

“I don’t, Ignis,” the boy answered, looking up at him, tense and with the same kind of frustration Ignis had. “I just… I suppose I just trust you.”

Ignis wasn’t expecting that answer at all. It was just a strange thing, having someone saying that to him. Hearing that from someone. It made his heart rush in a strange way, in a way that eased that tension in his chest. 

“You still can’t just kidnap someone,” Ignis muttered. Then looked around a bit lost. Because what he was supposed to do now? “I could really use some coffee, however.”

“Yeah, about that… Doctor. Medolla said you should maybe cut back on coffee for a while.”

Ignis waited a few seconds for Gladio to laugh. To tell him it was just a joke. But there was no laugh. It wasn’t a joke.

“Does that mean…”

“I’m not gonna give you coffee while you’re our guest,” Gladio said. Probably the last time in his life.


	15. Chapter 14

Clarus being upset was indeed an understatement as he barged into his King’s office that afternoon. A Scientia was in his house, he figured that was enough of a reason to fume at everyone that would come his way. Even if the one he wanted to take this up was finally in front of him.

“Oh, Clarus, you’re… You’re actually late,” Regis frowned at the clock on the wall. He was sitting at his desk, signing reports. He looked tired, obviously. Clarus was there every day to witness his fall and could do so little to protect him from it. Politics were a bitch, they did more damage than any Behemoth could.

“I am, I apologize, but there was a matter I had to deal with immediately,” he said, looking around. He knew the office was magically protected from any kind of danger, even from listening ears. It was a safe spot, so they could talk freely, and yet… Handling a Scientia matter just did things to his nerves. “Regis, did you receive anything new from the Scientias lately? Anything new on… inside matters?”

Regis looked up at him, one of his eyebrows raised questioningly.

“You do know they only submit reports to me on inside matters when all their alibis are matching. However, I have not received anything. Why would you ask?” he enquired. Clarus stopped his pacing and stepped in front of his desk, eying his king and trying to decide if Regis was telling the truth. Regis never lied to him, not entirely. But sometimes he liked to keep a part of the truth hidden.

“One of them ended up in my home, just last night,” Clarus stated, to which Regis just frowned softly. “You know which one,” Clarus elaborated.

“Huh,” his king huffed amused, maybe even a little relieved as he leaned back in his chair, rubbing his beard. “I never thought I'd see the day when a Scientia visits the Amicitia residence.”

“It’s not exactly a visit, he’s going to stay for a few days, thanks to Gladio.”

“Stay? What happened?”

“He’s overworked and collapsed. Apparently my son decided to pick him up and take him to nurse him back to health. As if he was a kitten and not a coeurl. Now he was going to spend his days under my roof, with my children. This isn’t what I was thinking about when I wanted him more involved with Gladio.” Clarus spoke, placing his hands on the desk, leaning toward Regis. It wasn’t like he was afraid, but he felt like the control is now out of his hands. And when the control was with someone, maybe with a Scientia, that never meant good things. Especially not when Gladiolus and Iris were involved, and indirectly, Regis too. 

“You don’t trust Ignis, my friend?” his king asked, putting his elbows on the desk, accepting the silent challenge his Shield has placed to him.

“I don’t trust his family,” Clarus clarified. It meant the same thing. Regis sighed, eying the Amicitia for a few seconds before he nodded.

“But you trust me, I hope,” he spoke. Clarus didn’t retort anything, because it was a thing he didn’t need to confirm. But he also knew what Regis will continue with and he wasn’t happy about it. “I trust that boy. If he is with your children, there must be a good reason for that.”

“Regis,” Clarus almost pleaded. He knew that Regis loved bad ideas, but this was the worst idea. This wasn’t their plan, this could turn from child’s play to something more serious and Clarus didn’t want to wait for it to turn nasty.

“Give him a few days. I have a strong suspicion he needs it, and that he isn’t entirely comfortable with this set-up either,” Regis answered. “I’ll talk to him, too,” he added seeing the expression his Shield had on.

Clarus considered the answers he’s gotten, and he figured he could indeed give a few days. He’ll warn Gladio, Iris too, and everyone in the household to keep their guard up. He sighed, uttering a silent ‘thank you’ to Regis, however, because he indeed trust him.

\--

When Casamus brought over his bag with a few days worth of clothes in them, he asked Ignis if he would maybe preferred to be in the Citadel, to recover there. And Ignis indeed considered. But his family was in the Citadel too. He didn't want them to see what kind of state he was in. In a weak, broken state, where he was vulnerable. Where he was an easy prey. Somehow he wouldn’t have felt safe in the Citadel, but he didn’t tell his Uncle. He just rejected the offer gently, hoping he will understand. And he did. He said Ignis can call him anytime, for whatever he would need, and that offer also soothed some of Ignis’ nerves about this. About collapsing. About breaking.

Ignis was given the guest room in the Amicitia residence, which wasn’t that different from Gladio’s room. It was a bit emptier and didn’t have the scent of his cologne, the sheets also smelled more of laundry detergent than anything else. The window was looking over the neat garden, and Ignis also spotted a few surveillance cameras outside. This house wasn’t just a mansion and a home, but also a pretty fortress too. He figured Sir Amicitia indeed looked out for his family. Even though Ignis knew that if his family wanted in, they would come in. The texts asking where he was and demanding reports stopped, and he blocked any kind of calls that would come of an unknown number, only for the time being. Ignis knew that he had to get better, and he needed to do that without his family barging in on him. And if he had to do that in the Amicitia household, then that was it. His family knew where he was and they had to be satisfied with that for a while.

It was the strangest thing, though. Getting better. What did that mean exactly? The first day of rest was excruciating. It wasn’t even rest. After things settled, Gladio also headed out for school and the only people in the house were Ignis and Jared, and whenever Ignis thought about helping out, or anything really, he was turned down, saying he had to rest and that he was a guest anyway. But he didn’t want to. He wanted coffee, he wanted to go do something, even if it was to just mop up a floor, he wanted to not think about how he was letting Noctis down, what his family will say about him just deserting _ which wasn’t the case at all _. He will be back, he just needed time.

In the end, Ignis settled in the living room, having the TV on on a news channel and also having his phone in his hand, switching through five news sites, reading every little damn detail that was reported from a new classroom was renovated in a school, through having a lost dog found, to what King Regis had for breakfast that day. It somehow baffled him that the news he was handling every day and the information that was given to the public was so different, but it was also true that the public had nothing to do with most of what they dealt with. Ignis wondered that if he was still going to be taken seriously by his family after this at all…

It was Iris who first came home from school, being terribly happy to hear Ignis will stay. Ignis couldn’t help to thank her once again for the magical cocoa, because in some way it indeed helped him. Iris looked extremely proud and that grin she had on reminded Ignis of Gladio. Iris was glad to provide him with some distractions and she also accepted Ignis’ help with her homework. Ignis had a suspicion she didn’t need help with it, but the gesture that she let him was good enough.

Gladio, on the other hand, did not accept Ignis’ offer to help him train after dinner. He needed to rest he told him and just reminded Ignis of his misery during the day. Once again, while he was obviously looking out for him, Gladio fell back into a routine where he would slightly avoid him the rest of the evening.

“You should really go to sleep, it’s late.” It was the first sentence Gladio actually aimed at him since he had gotten home. Ignis was still in the living room, refusing to leave as he obsessively scrolled through social media and news sites. He just realized it was near midnight. Gladio held a glass of water in his hand. When did he come and go into the kitchen, Ignis wondered. And how come he didn’t notice? It was scary. It was like Ignis forgot everything he learned. It was like he was indeed falling apart… The thought just scared him more.

“I’ll just… need to check something,” Ignis said, looking up at the other from the couch.

“You don’t. Get in bed.” Gladio once again didn’t have time for his bullshitting and Ignis was too tired to argue with him. So he just sighed and got up from his seat, nervously wiping his hand in the sweatpants he was wearing for bed. However, as he walked the stairs with Gladio, he realized he didn’t want to go in his dedicated room. Yet his body took him to the door without fail, but he forced himself to stop.

“Good night,” Ignis muttered to Gladio as he passed him.

“Yeah, night,” the boy didn’t even look at him as he just waved.

Ignis took a shaky breath and put his hand on the door handle. But he shivered once again. He turned his head a little to watch Gladio walk away. And he realized he didn’t want him to. He didn’t want him walk away, he wanted him near. He wanted it. And it was Gladio who always told him to yell if something hurt...

“Gladio…” Ignis started, forcing himself to speak around the lump that was in his throat suddenly. His eyes turned toward the floor, somehow he couldn’t look at Gladio as he was trying to stutter his request. “I’m… so can I… just a little, sleep in your room?” he asked, being ready to be rejected. What kind of request was that anyway? Terribly inappropriate, especially after the boy clearly didn’t want to do much with him.

But Gladio stopped, turning to look at him.

“Something wrong with your room?” he asked quietly. Not in a challenge, Ignis could feel it, he was genuinely concerned. It made Ignis easier to answer.

“No, nothing, it’s just a bit,” Ignis sighed closing his eyes for a second. “I’m just not comfortable in it yet.” He hated to say that. It sounded weak.

“I see,” Gladio didn’t see, Ignis was sure he didn’t get it. “Yeah, come on then. If it helps you sleep better, then… yeah,” he stuttered, motioning toward his door. Ignis took a soft, surprised breath. Did Gladio just accept his ridiculous request? For real? Without fight, without bitching, without… just like that?

Ignis felt like he was in a daze as he let go of the handle, and walked toward Gladio, and his room. The boy opened the door for him, letting him in first. Ignis swallowed as he stepped in, already feeling a bit of tension leaving him. This was the first place he woke up after his fall, and the first place he felt safe. He just wanted to feel that once again.

“I’m sorry, I know it may be uncomfortable for you,” he started, suddenly being a little unsure about all this. Especially knowing how Gladio probably felt about him.

“Just get in bed, I’m tired,” Gladio murmured, not looking at him as he closed the door. Ignis nodded without a word and took off his glasses, and put it on the nightstand together with his phone. Just before Gladio placed his glass of water there. Ignis slowly climbed on the bed, heart rushing as he could smell that familiar scent again. Yes, he could maybe fall asleep here. Like this. Maybe. 

Ignis moved to the other side as he got under the covers, trying to be as far away from Gladio as he could, while the other climbed into the bed too. It wasn’t like they needed anything to hide anymore, after what they did not long ago. Or at least Ignis was trying to tell himself. He rolled onto his side, to face the window and hating it. It was so big and wide, and it just made him feel like something would come in anytime. So instead he tried to swallow down his fear and turned on his other side, just to find Gladio laying on his back, but his face turned toward him. One hand was resting on his stomach,the other he put it under his pillow so support his head. All casual, overly casual. It was dark, so Ignis could only make out his outline in the dark, not his expression, but he felt his eyes on him.

“Are you afraid in the other room?” Gladio asked suddenly.

“Yes,” Ignis answered without even realizing he did. There was something in the darkness and shared beds that made people a bit too honest, apparently. He wished he could see Gladio’s face a bit more clear when he didn’t say anything. Ignis just pulled the covers further up, almost hiding under them. He felt weak, but right now, having Gladio close soothed all that fear in his stomach, even if he would think he was broken too. Maybe that’s why he felt brave enough to let the words bubble up from his throat. “Why…” Ignis started. “You said… it wasn’t that I lied… but then why did you run away from me?”

What was it with dark rooms and shared beds that made people ask things like that, Ignis wondered.

“Iggy I…” Gladio sighed, clearly not wanting to talk about it. But Ignis did. They will talk about it, for the last time he will try. Because he needed to know, needed this to end in a way. So once he walked out of this house, he can let Gladio go.

“Maybe you didn’t want to fuck me? Did you regret it?” Ignis provoked, feeling guilt in his stomach, next to bitterness. This was Gracilius all over again...

“Astrals, Ignis…!” the Amicitia hissed sitting up and Ignis thought he will run again. “It’s not that, it’s nothing like that!”

“If you wanted to ditch me, you could have done before it all,” Ignis said.

“I didn’t, I just…” Gladio stuttered, then groaned in frustration, grabbing at his hair. Ignis felt the same way, but he had no energy to move at all. “The reason I got angry because…” Gladio started suddenly. “I got angry, because I… didn’t want your first time to be like that! To be fucked in some toilet stall, in some bar, that’s not how you should handle your first time!”

Ignis frowned, staring at Gladio’s dark form as if he could read him. At first he didn’t even understand what the other was trying to even say.

“But I wanted it,” he tried a little unsure.

“I know you did! You were so… so confident I thought it’s not the first time you do this, so I said okay why not, why shouldn’t I fuck Ignis Scientia right here right now?!” Gladio asked, spreading his arms. “But if I knew it was your first time I’d have… I wouldn’t have done it. That’s why I was angry you lied to me, cuz it made me do a shitty thing.”

This time Ignis pushed himself to sit up, thinking.

“Why is it a big deal to you? My first time?” he asked quietly.

“Why it _ isn’t _ a big deal to _ you _?” Gladio asked, looking over his shoulder at him. “You should think of yourself more. You should treasure yourself more! You worth more than a fuck in a stall, Iggy, you worth-” he deflated, shaking his head as he motioned around the room as he continued in a softer voice. “-so much more than that. And I hate to be the guy who did that to you, Six, I felt like the worst piece of shit… and I still do.”

Ignis wasn’t sure why his stomach dropped, or why his throat tightened again. Why would it be a big deal? Nothing in his life was a big deal. He was just a tool, a weapon, those didn’t have birthdays, or fathers and mothers, or things to treasure, people to hold dear… So why would Gladio make him want to have them? 

“You…” Ignis stuttered suddenly. “You fucking idiot…” he gasped, covering his mouth to try and stop his sobbing, but he couldn’t. “You should’ve told me!” 

“I didn’t know how to, I felt so ashamed!” Gladio said agitated. “And now I made you cry again, Astrals, I’m not doing good here at all.”

“Not at all, no, you made me think this was it!” Ignis tried to yell through all his tears. “That you’re never going to talk to me...”

“No, no wait, I never- I never wanted that- I just- I was working on some things, right?” Gladio stuttered, moving toward Ignis. “Shit, I’m sorry, I- I’m sorry arright?”

“I thought I’m gonna have to do it all alone…” Ignis cried, covering his face in his hands because this was too much. He was getting hysterical, and that wasn’t good for anyone. This was the first time he said that out loud. It wasn’t his family, it wasn’t work, school, it wasn’t that… the last straw was Gladio leaving him, after Noctis. How curious. But then he felt a tentative touch on his shoulder, and a slow slide of hand which pulled him to Gladio’s chest.

What was it with dark rooms and shared beds that made Ignis seek warmth, by clinging to Gladio’s tank top and burying his face into his chest? What was about dark rooms, that made Gladio hug him in the most gentle way?

“I’m sorry, Ignis,” Gladio whispered. “This is why I asked you to stay, I- I felt responsible, I don’t… know…”

“Don’t ever do this to me again!” Ignis sniffed. “Yell at me, fight me, hit me, anything, but never ever stop talking to me like that!”

“I get it, I get it!” Gladio insisted, pulling Ignis closer, tighter to himself. “Can we sleep now?”

Ignis honestly had no idea if he could sleep, but he still nodded. He wiped his face, pulling just a little away, but Gladio didn’t let him go too far. He kept an arm around his shoulder as they laid down; it was warmer and heavier than any blanket. It felt not only good, but safe. Which Ignis has been unconsciously seeking for a while now. He had no idea if he could sleep just a few seconds ago, but the moment his head hit the pillow, warmth and darkness engulfed him in the sweetest way.

When Ignis woke up, it wasn’t by an alarm, or by himself, but someone brushing his hair with their fingers. It was warm and only by the touch Ignis recognized Gladio. He stirred a little, opened his eyes and blinking heavily, looking up at the other boy. He was already dressed, ready for school. Ignis wondered how he didn’t hear anything of it. Was he sleeping that deep?

“You slept like the dead, Iggy,” Gladio told him, grinning and relieved. Ignis was only half awake, but he felt his lips pull into a smile by seeing this idiot the first thing in the morning smiling at him. “Just uh, letting you know that I got you some breakfast, for when you’re up for it,” Gladio said motioning toward the plate on the nightstand, with a sandwich like shape on it. Accompanied with a glass of fruit juice.

“Thank you,” Ignis whispered, barely feeling awake. It was a different kind of weakness than he felt the day before. It was like his body demanded him to catch up on all the rest and sleep he didn’t do the past weeks. And this time, Ignis wasn’t about to say no.

“You can stay here as long as you want,” Gladio added with a sigh, brushing some stray strands of hair out of Ignis’ eyes. “Sleep, rest, read, whatever,” he chuckled.

This was nice, Ignis wondered. Not being afraid, not needing to check if things were fine, because he knew they were. Just for a few days… He sighed, nodding and closed his eyes again. He wanted to sleep until things get better. He heard Gladio get up and take his school jacket and figured he’ll see him again by that afternoon.

“Iggy,” the boy started suddenly. “Can I ask you something?”

“Mmm…” Ignis answered, because really, talking was too much right now. Everything was fuzzy, and warm and all he had to do was sleep.

“Everything alright with you and Noct?”

Oh. That. Ignis sighed, opening his eyes, even if his eyelids were the heaviest.

“Why do you ask?” he murmured.

“Called him and told him last night you won’t be able to tend to him for a few days,” Gladio said. Ignis huffed a little frustrated. He didn’t want Noct to know he was… sick? Taking a break? What was he doing exactly? “I didn’t tell him why, but he, I don’t know, sounded strange. I just thought, I don’t know, is there something up?”

Ignis wondered if Gladio could indeed tell something was up only from a phonecall to Noctis. It reminded him of Nyx, who could read from a glance, a few dropped words, from the stance of people. But then again Glaives had to. This was Gladio, a soon to be Shield. Maybe not as sensitive to subtleties as Nyx, but when it came to Noctis, he paid attention. Ignis let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding and closed his eyes again as he started speaking.

“I messed up with him,” he said quietly. Thinking about how he missed Noctis with all his heart. How just thinking about him hurt.

“Pff, you never mess up,” Gladio snorted. Ignis wished that was true.

“He finally made a friend at his school and I… Well, with your words I was an utter shit with them. Noctis didn’t take it well, he told me to stop driving him,” Ignis answered.

“He made a friend?” Gladio asked. Ignis frowned, turning his head to look at him.

“Yes, Prompto Argentum,” he said. “He never told you?”

“No,” Gladio frowned a little. “I suppose he wanted to introduce him to you first. You know he kinda wants your approval in some things.”

Of course he does, Ignis thought bitterly. Because whenever Noctis took in a toad, or a cat, or a pup, or a beetle, he first showed it to Ignis. And Ignis sometimes told him to put the beetle in the greenhouse, or to find a good place for the toad in that small pond in the garden, or gently told him to put them back where they came from, so they can go home. But when Noctis presented him with his friend, Ignis wasn’t gentle at all. And it wasn’t like people could be put in a greenhouse or let them go home. Especially not Prompto Argentum.

“But he just said to stop driving him, no?” Gladio said suddenly.

“Yes,” Ignis frowned.

“That doesn’t mean you lost him, Iggy. Maybe you should talk to him about it.”

Yes, maybe he should. But the longer Ignis kept distance, the harder was to just pick the phone up somehow. He knew Gladio was right, but right now, he just wanted to sleep.

And sleep, Ignis did. From then on, all Ignis did was sleep for days. He usually woke up for a late breakfast, and then tried to read the news or play some phone games, but he always ended up falling asleep. There was one time he fell asleep right after dinner, by the table. Iris was laughing at him for days for it, calling him a cat. At one time he was listening to Gladio and Iris bickering during a TV show in the living room; it was loud and chaotic, and yet Ignis could still fall asleep in the middle of it. Somehow, the Amicitia house proved to feel safer than he first thought, and not because of the security measures.

Ignis only spent that first night in Gladio’s room, as for the rest of the days, he could make peace with the guest room. Though, he still kept that hoodie around he picked on his first day in the house. He was going to give it back, but for now, it was good to cling to it when darkness fell.

As the days went by, Ignis felt a bit of strength in his limbs again. The knot in his chest seemed to release more, too. He started to find more of his bearings, his fear pushed back to where it came from. Though Ignis wondered that he liked to be aware of it. Fear was the key for survival. Fear was essential for life, part of it, what made all the rest worth it.

One day, after Gladio and Iris just left for school and Ignis was sitting by the breakfast table alone, looking at his empty plate after he ate two servings of that morning’s eggs and bacon. With his sleeping schedule finally starting to get regulated, his hunger seemed to be returning full force. His portions of food basically matched Gladio’s by now. For the first time in days, he felt a little restless, in a different way than in the first day. His thoughts, however, were interrupted by an incoming call.

It was His Highness King Regis. Calling him.

Suddenly, Ignis felt nervous as he was staring at the name on the screen. Ashamed a bit too, for some reason. But he took a deep breath and took the call.

“Your Highness,” he spoke, quietly, prepared for a bit of a scolding.

“Ah, Ignis, I was afraid you won’t pick up,” King Regis spoke, with a smile in his voice. Ignis sighed a little hearing it. “Does this mean you are doing better? I heard what happened from Clarus.”

Ignis wondered what exactly Sir Amicitia told King Regis. But this wasn’t the time to ask about those details, not when his phone can be tapped.

“I apologize for making you worry, Your Highness,” Ignis spoke. “I’ll be back in commission shortly.”

“Ignis,” King Regis chuckled a little sadly. “I should apologize to you,” he said. “I should’ve paid more attention to you. But I’m afraid I was too caught up in my work lately.”

“No, I… I understand,” Ignis frowned. Because he did. Because he saw the reports, he knew that the Empire was getting bigger and more advanced. He knew that the Council was shouting about the Wall, he knew that Nyx was out on a mission with most of the Glaives too, for weeks now. Ignis knew that His Highness barely had time for his own son, let alone for him.

“That won’t make it better,” the king said. “You know you can talk to me about anything, Ignis, right? While Noctis is my son, I always thought of you as one, too.”

“I’m humbled…”

“Noctis also told me you two are having a fight?” King Regis asked, and Ignis frowned a little. Noctis told him that…? Wait, maybe he told Gladio too?

“I’m… I’m afraid, yes,” Ignis nodded, clearing his throat. “I did something bad,” he added.

“Well, whatever it was, it’s not the end of the world, my son,” His Highness smiled. “Youth can be so dramatic, thinking if something is done, it’s done. But as long as you’re alive, there’s always a next time. Always a new day to try again.”

Ignis couldn’t help his huff. Once again being called a child in a subtle way, yet, it felt reassuring in a way too.

“I do hope you’re doing well. And that you’ll try again, Ignis,” King Regis continued. In that soft, gentle tone that could always assure Ignis that everything will be alright. He wondered if he deserved it at all, after what he’d pulled with Noctis. But he swore he’ll make himself worthy of His Highness trust again.

“Thank you, your Highness,” he smiled a little too. “I… feel much better,” he added. Because he did. Because, even if His Majesty wasn’t always there, he got his back. Just like Gladio. Ignis realized he still had people to trust, still had people who would have his back. And he won’t let them down.

After the talk, he wished he could indeed have some coffee, but he resisted the temptation. He will have to try and talk to Noctis without the help of caffeine. Oh, boy.

So Ignis got up from his chair, and helped Jared clean up the table. Finally he could do smaller things around the house, which actually helped his mood. It helped him calm down, too. Though he was still not allowed into Sir Amicitia’s study, where he kept some reports. Ignis would loved to read what was up in the Citadel, so whenever Sir Amicitia could actually make it to dinner he was trying to ask him subtly. But apparently there was a ‘no work at the dinner table’ policy in the house, so Ignis had to give up prying into those matters pretty early.

\--

It was a curious feeling, walking out of the gates of the Amicita residence, even if it was only a few steps to a car. Jared kindly offered to drive him to Noctis’ apartment that afternoon.

Ignis has called the prince when he was sure he was on lunch break at school. He could have waited until he was off school, but Ignis was slightly nervous and wanted to talk to Noctis as soon as he could. The talk… it was short. Noctis wasn’t in the mood for talking, which was fine, Ignis knew that he had trouble handling people and he was also included in that group now. Which was fine, he knew Noctis from when they were little, and he will stay by his side. They have all the time to talk, about anything really.

So Ignis offered to come over that afternoon, and for his greatest surprise, Noctis agreed. Noctis wanted to talk too, he just didn’t know how. That was also fine. Ignis just wanted to apologize, just set things straight and assure Noctis that he will take care of him and his friends in the future.

As Ignis was waiting by Noctis’ apartment door, he felt a familiar kind of sensation crawl up his throat. It had nothing to do with Noctis. It had to do with the fact that he was out and alone. He was dressed casually; as long as he could dress casually; in slacks, and a dress shirt, but without a tie. His hand came up to feel up his pendant absently. He felt tired just by coming here, but he knew he was getting better. He was getting stronger, and meeting Noctis was a part of all that.

Then the elevator arrived to the floor, and just as Ignis looked over to it, he saw Noctis walk out of there. Alone. Ignis wondered if he didn’t want to bring Prompto this afternoon… But that lament was for another time, he decided as Noctis walked up to him with a slightly confused expression.

“Why didn’t you wait inside?” Noctis asked.

“I didn’t want to intrude,” Ignis said, looking down at the box he was holding. While he was sure he could enter Noctis’ apartment before all this happened, he wasn’t that sure anymore. He didn’t want to intrude in Noctis life if he didn’t want him anymore.

“You don’t intrude…” Noctis muttered and went to open his door and walked in. Ignis followed suit, his grip on the food container he was holding tightened. He was nervous, and happy at the same time. He missed Noctis so much, so seeing him like this was actually such a relief. Though when Ignis spotted the state of the apartment he grew worried once again. There were several trash bags lining up by the entrance, waiting to be taken out, and as they were heading toward the living room Ignis spotted a few empty bottles and food boxes, still waiting to be cleaned up. It was worrisome to say the least. Ignis could see from the way Noctis’ shoulders tensed that he wasn’t exactly comfortable with all this either. But Ignis said nothing, not yet. He wasn’t here to lecture Noctis, he wasn’t here as his retainer now, but his friend. Hopefully.

Noctis stopped in the messy living room, looking over the place, as he put his bag on the couch. He avoided Ignis’ gaze, not entirely sure what to say or do here.

“I bought apple pie, would you like to eat some?” Ignis offered. Noctis looked over to him, then nodded. “I’ll get some plates, then.”

The kitchen didn’t look that bad, actually, which also meant that Noctis barely visited it for more than the microwave and the fridge. Ignis sighed as he got a pair of plates and dessert forks and went back to the living room. They were both quiet as they sat down on the couch and Ignis put the slices of pie on the plates then offered one for Noctis. Noctis took it, and dug in without a word.

While they were silent, Ignis noted that it was a different one than the last one they had in the car. This silence was tense in a different way, but maybe because he himself knew he won’t run this time.

“Noct-”

“Gladio said-” 

They suddenly started talking at the same time, then fell silent the same time staring at each other. It was almost funny, but Ignis was too nervous to laugh.

“What did Gladio say?” Ignis asked gently. Noctis swallowed the bite from his mouth, his eyes looking at his half eaten pastry.

“He said you’re taking a break,” he murmured. “I just… wondered why didn’t you tell me.”

“I apologize, things got hectic the last few weeks,” Ignis said eying his still in-tact slice of pie. He realized he was too nervous to eat it, so he put it back on the messy coffee table. Noctis followed the movement with his gaze.

“Are you alright?” Noctis asked, and Ignis felt his stomach sink at the question. After all that time, after everything he pulled, Noctis was still worried about him. And it felt nice, it felt good. Just like holding someone’s hand in a storm.

“I’m getting better,” he answered honestly. “And I came here to apologize.”

Noctis frowned at him, but didn’t say anything. Ignis took it as a cue to speak.

“I was being unjust with your friend, indeed,” he said. “I didn’t welcome him as he deserved, and with this I disrespected you in the process. I let my own worries take the best of me and acted out of line because of it. I acted terrible, and I want to apologize for that.”

“You’re gonna have to apologize to Prompto too, you know,” Noctis interrupted.

“Most definitely,” Ignis nodded.

“You don’t even know him.”

Ignis pursed his lips, because he knew enough of Prompto thank you very much. But then Noctis followed up.

“Did you know he likes trains? He has a lot of train models back at his place. And he sometimes takes pictures of them as if they were real, huge trains,” Noctis spoke so fondly that Ignis’ heart ached for a moment. Though, he noticed something. He indeed had no damn idea that Prompto liked trains. Or that he can take pictures like that at all. The reports said nothing of that. The reports handled him as he was an object taken from Niflheim, but Noctis handled him as a person. Who liked trains.

“I’m sorry,” Ignis repeated, in a soft shock, too. “I suppose, I was worried,” he started quietly, watching as Noctis finished up his food and put the plate on the coffee table too.

“What were you worried about?” the prince asked quietly. He leaned back on the couch, putting his arms around himself as if he was cold.

“I thought we will drift more apart, with him in your life,” Ignis answered. Noctis gasped softly, looking over him.

“You’re stupid, Ignis,” he said. Ignis actually couldn’t help his lips pull into a sad smile at that. Because Noctis was right. “I missed you so much!” Noctis burst out suddenly. “I thought you wouldn’t want to do anything with me other than tell me to clean up and read reports… I thought you’re finally relieved that you won’t have to do anything with me now that I moved out of the Citadel!”

Now it was time for Ignis to be baffled.

“I never wanted you to feel that way…” he said.

“I… thought so too, but then you stopped talking to me!”

“You told me not to drive you anymore.”

“But I never said you stop talking to me!” Noctis hit the couch with his fists in his frustration. As if he was still a few years old child, wanting just one more puding before going to sleep. But this time, it was more serious. Ignis saw that. They should have talked, indeed. It wasn’t just about Prompto, it was more about both of them trying to find their way, and losing touch for a while. “You told me you’ll stay with me forever!”

“I did say that,” Ignis nodded. “I’m still saying that. Forever.”

Noctis took a sharp breath, rubbing at his eyes and that’s when Ignis truly felt how he messed up. How a simple apology won’t fix this, but hard work from here. But Ignis was ready to do it. When it came to Noctis, he was ready for anything. So he moved then, reaching out for the little prince and gathered him in his arms. Noctis put his arms around him, pressing up against him in a desperate manner. Ignis’ chest tightened, because he never wanted to leave him alone, he never wanted him to feel like he had lost him. But he will do everything to make Noctis trust him again.

But with everything, Ignis felt relieved; they were talking again and there were things still had to be settled, but they were on their way. And that was good. That’s what he wanted. As long as Noctis was with him, as long as he can stay by his side like this, he will be happy.

“Would you like to eat the other slice of pie?” Ignis asked quietly, brushing Noctis’ hair with his fingers affectionately. The prince just nodded. So Ignis reached for the plate and offered it to Noctis. A little spoiling won’t hurt, he figured. After they both calmed down a little, Ignis offered that he will help cleaning up just a little. Because yes, he came here off duty, but he still couldn’t let Noctis live in a messy place. So they collected the trash and took it out accordingly. Meanwhile Ignis subtly enquired about how Noctis was doing. It was good to hear him talk about school, about Prompto, about games and memes. It was relaxing, even if they were cleaning up.

After the apartment looked liveable enough, Ignis decided to leave. He promised Noctis that in a few days, he’ll be able to pick him up a few times from school and even come around the mornings to help him wake up. But for now, he had to go back to the Amicitia house to rest. Maybe one more day.

\--

“Huh, I thought you fell asleep again,” Gladio snorted before Ignis saw him in his field of vision.

“Not yet,” Ignis smiled a little at him.

“What are you doing, exactly?” the other asked, looking around as if he could spot why exactly Ignis was laying on the grass, out in the garden, in the early fall weather.

“Just lamenting on a few things. Want to join me?” Ignis proposed. Gladio shrugged and sat down next to him, laying down too, to watch the sky with him. Ignis sighed a little, turning his gaze back up, spotting the first few stars over the distortion of the Wall. He wondered how it would look without magic barricading it. He was too small to remember from his childhood, how the sky looked without the Wall shielding it.

He came back with a heavy heart from Noctis. His head was full of the tasks he had to pick up, the enquiries he had to make and he decided he will gather his things and go back to his place tomorrow. He informed Jared and Iris about it, and his heart broke how sad Iris looked. So Ignis promised to come around as many times as he can to help with her homework. She also reminded him that he promised her a recipe on the best sugar cookies in Insomnia.

So to calm down, Ignis decided to spend the evening in the garden, laying in the grass. That was when Gladio found him.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, right?” Gladio asked quietly.

“Yes, the morning. I won’t be able to make it to school for one or two more days, but then I’ll be back,” Ignis answered.

“Alright, I’ll tell the teachers to make you sweat twice as much then, for skipping training and all,” Gladio teased. Ignis just snorted; challenge accepted. He felt a strange strength in the pits of his guts, one he hadn’t felt before. It was a heady feeling, his body and mind still wasn’t in the right condition, but he soon will. And he felt like he could do anything… It made him smile again.

They were laying in the grass, side by side, watching the night sky slowly wrapping it’s darkness over the city, letting the stars shine through at them. It was beautiful, and Ignis wondered when will be the next time he’ll be able to watch the stars like this.

“You know, in the past, people used to travel using the stars,” Gladio started.

“I know,” Ignis nodded. “I had to learn too,” he added.

“So what, they could just blindfold you, drop you out wherever and you’d find your way back home?” the other asked.

“Yes, most probably,” Ignis nodded. “As long as I can see the stars.”

“Damn…”

“But sometimes,” Ignis started, raising his hand as if he could touch the shiny little dots so far up above. “Sometimes I just draw shapes into them, that aren’t there.”

“Ah, like connecting the dots?” Gladio chuckled, raising his hand too to try it out.

“Yes, a bit like that,” Ignis chuckled too. He squinted, trying to find a shape he could trace with his finger, but then he felt Gladio gently take his hand. He entangled their fingers and slowly pulled Ignis’ hand down to rest between them.

Ignis swallowed, suddenly nervous. What were they doing, exactly? What were they? This wasn’t like Nyx, wasn’t like Gracilius. It was Gladio. Gladiolus Amicitia.

“Ignis, I…” Gladio started suddenly, making Ignis heart jump. “When I asked you out for a drink I- I knew you needed to talk to somebody. I wanted to talk to you, honest.”

Ignis listened without a word, not daring to look at the boy next to him. As if then, all this would just end and disappear, and be a dream again. He felt happy, but sad too, because suddenly this felt like a goodbye and not a hello.

“I knew you weren’t alright, and I wanted to make it better, but I didn’t know how. I thought… what we did will help, but I… Fuck it was selfish wasn’t it?” Gladio sighed.

“No, no it was… Well, stupid, from my part too,” Ignis corrected. “However, I don’t regret it, Gladio.”

“What?” the Amicitia blinked, turning his head towards him, and Ignis could feel his fingers trembling as he was holding his hand. Ignis sighed and looked at him too.

“Someone told me once that first times are like owning something rare. I suppose you can cherish it, or just put it with the rest,” Ignis said. “But I don’t regret giving it to you. Apparently, it’s more precious to you than to me, after all.”

Gladio’s surprise turned into something serious; something deep as Ignis watched his brows furrow and his lips pursing. Later, Ignis called this the Trademark Amicitia Expression, the one an Amicitia put on before he would go on a mission.

“Too bad I can’t give you anything in return,” he said quietly.

“I’ll take a hoodie,” Ignis answered without missing a beat.

“I’m serious.”

“Me too. It’s not that we can indulge in this further, after all.”

And there it was. Ignis said it out loud, what Gladio just referred to. They can’t poke at this, can’t go further than this. They were both going to be retainers of Noctis; their families aren’t that friendly with each other, adding more complications to that could be disastrous. Ignis also knew that if he had to choose, he’d choose Noctis in a heartbeat. Duty will always come first, than anything else.

“So this is a goodbye, huh,” Gladio remarked, his voice thick of something Ignis didn’t dare to pinpoint.

“Yes,” he whispered.

“But that doesn’t mean I’ll leave your side, Iggy. I don’t want to see you cry again, ever,” Gladio squeezed his hand and Ignis smiled.

“That’s all I need, Gladio,” he answered, squeezing those fingers too before pulling away. Then he sat up, looking over at the boy laying next to him. Ignis smiled and raised his arm… so he could bring his elbow right in the middle of Gladio’s stomach, making the boy gave a guttural sound of pain before rolling on his side in a fetal position. “I owed that for you not talking to me,” Ignis informed him casually. Gladio laughed or grunted in acknowledgement. 

The next morning Sir Clarus Amicitia took Ignis to the Citadel, and to Ignis’ greatest surprise he briefed him on Citadel matters that happened while he was sick. He said that he didn’t want to let Ignis back to the vultures without help, to which Ignis was eternally thankful for. Sir Amicitia may never trust him, and that was fine, but at least he didn’t see him as the enemy anymore.


	16. Chapter 15

It was early in the morning, but Ignis was already up and about, heading to the piano room. It was the first time he was attending a piano lesson after what happened. Strangely, he didn’t feel scared, instead he was nervous. To Ignis’ woe it wasn’t only Master Sulla who welcomed him that day, but all three of the Piano Masters were present. They tried to appear menacing, they looked like they always did, and while Ignis knew they were dangerous, he knew that he defeated them once and, if necessary, he will again.

“Ignis,” Master Sulla addressed him the moment the door was closed behind him. “I believe you have a great explanation as to why where you out of commission for two weeks and why it had to be in the Amicitia house of all places.”

Ignis sighed. Just like Sir Amicitia didn’t trust him, his own family didn’t trust him for the same reasons. Ever since he rebelled, ever since he put his foot down and told them he won’t be their puppet, they never trust him more than necessary. Ignis knew that he had to prove his loyalty to them, and he knew he will need time for it, so he had to admit that in that light, hiding with the Amicitias didn’t look good at all.

“I’m sure you’ve heard that I had an incident at school and Gladiolus Amicitia was kind enough to take me in,” Ignis started, thinking about the conversation he had with Gladio about this.

_ “I’ll have to come up with an explanation to my family. As to why I spent so much time here.” _

_ “Huh? Why?” Gladio asked. _

_ “I don’t want to tell them the truth. I also like to annoy them.” _

_ “Hah! In that case tell them the most hideous thing you can think of.” _

“As for why I stayed,” Ignis licked his lips, looking away. “I just couldn’t. I couldn’t get enough of his offered assets.”

“What do you mean?” Master Promus asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Gladiolus has the biggest cock I’ve ever seen,” Ignis sighed, covering his mouth. “I… he gave it to me so good, sometimes I couldn’t walk after it for hours. Then we’d do it again, and again. I just couldn’t have enough. It was easier to stay than to go back and beg for more.”

“You insolent brat,” his teacher hissed, taking a step toward him.

“I believe one of my assignments was to take on such experiences. In case you wish I can write a detailed report about it, however I believe that’d only entertain Sir Foedus, and keeps me from picking up my studies,” Ignis spoke firmly, cocking his chin up in a challenge. “I’m back and ready to work.”

There was a heavy, contemplating silence that welcomed his bluff. It was working.

“I’ll take it from here,” Master Sulla spoke then, looking at the other two. There was a short, silent argument, but in the end, the other two Masters left the room. Ignis sighed a little and turned his attention to the teacher that remained. She motioned him over to the piano without a word.

They both sat by the instrument as they should be, and Ignis was waiting for instructions on which song to start playing. However, Master Sulla didn’t instruct him at all, just raised her hands and started playing a melody Ignis hasn’t learned yet. It was a strange one. Ignis frowned a little, listening to it; somehow it didn’t sound like a song for a piano lesson. It had more personality in it, more life, more… opinion.

But suddenly a false note was hit and Master Sulla stopped.

“Ah, I still can’t play it well,” she muttered, and Ignis had a suspicion it was mostly to herself. She kept her hands over the keys, stroking them gently as if she was remembering something. Ignis thought she won’t speak, but then she did. “Whoever our agents asked about you came back with nothing. No one gave us relevant information.”

Ignis frowned, wondering what his Master meant by that at all.

“The king said you were just visiting, Sir Amicitia said you and Gladiolus had a joint assignment at school. Iris Amicitia said you were there to help homework, Jared Hester told our agents you’re helping him out. And Gladiolus said, well, to mind our own business,” she spoke softly. Ignis felt his heart race. All those people were trying to protect him. If they were Scientias they had their story in order, of course, but it still must have been frustrating on the agents. He tried not to smile too widely. “Prince Noctis said he told you to visit the Amicitias.” Even Noctis… Even if he thought Ignis abandoned him?

“It’s all true,” Ignis remarked, a bit more cocky than he should’ve. Master Sulla turned to look at him.

“When you told us you’ll come back, we were expecting a report from you,” she said. Ignis knew what report. A report on Sir Amicitia and his secrets. “But when you defied us, it was clear you’re not going to disclose what you were doing there.”

Duh, Ignis thought, thankfully keeping that remark to himself. Master Sulla then held her hands over the keys and Ignis noticed a slight tremor in her fingers. Out of curiosity, Ignis also raised his hands over the keys, spreading his fingers. They were unmoving as a rock. He was getting better.

“All those people protected you, even if they aren’t Scientias,” she continued. “And you protected them, too.”

Ignis didn’t retort, because she was right. He would protect all those people with his life. Because, for him, that’s what meant to be a Scientia.

“I’d do the same for the family,” he spoke quietly, however. With all that frustration and even hatred in his heart toward the Scientias sometimes, it wasn’t against them, it was against the ways they twisted the principles of their loyalty to the throne. Ignis understood why and how that happened, he just didn’t get why they never corrected it. Why they were people still encouraging it. “As long as they’re loyal to the line of Lucis.” Ignis turned his head to look at his Master. “I didn’t rebell to be a traitor. I did it, so I can serve Prince Noctis in a more efficient way.”

Master Sulla was seeking his gaze for a moment, then his eyes turned to his hands on the keys, sure as they never were.

“Maybe the family too, should revise some of their own teachings, indeed,” she said quietly, starting again on the song she played before.

\--

Being out of the Amicitia house was unnerving the first few days. But with the talk Ignis had with his Masters and finally being able to drink as much coffee as he could, he managed. He quickly picked up where he left off in the Citadel, thanks to Sir Amicitia’s help, and Casamus also updated him on a few things. Nyx was once again a great help after he stopped screaming at him through text about ‘disappearing’ for weeks. Ignis had no time to include school in the first few days either. He ended up staying out of school a bit longer than he thought, but he knew he shouldn’t rush back into everything all at once, otherwise he ends up collapsing again. And that was the last thing he wanted. Not ever he will collapse again, he will get stronger and he will always be there for Noctis. No matter what. In a way, it was exciting to pick up all his activities, and when he could finally go to school and return to his training, while it was tiring, it was also relieving. He missed training after all, and he also missed seeing Gladio too.

Ignis’ phone was back in commission, receiving threats from Gladio that he should go to sleep, and memes from Noctis which was slightly overwhelming, but endearing at the same time. Soon, he was also included in a group chat with Noctis, Gladio and… Prompto.

Ignis promised Noctis he will try to reconcile with Prompto, yet he was still not entirely sure how to do that. While he knew people were more than just reports in an archive, with Prompto he couldn’t exactly know how to proceed. If he were anyone else, Ignis would have the methods, but with him being friends with Noctis, Ignis just… couldn’t. It was a strange, helpless and awkward feeling. So most of the time he was polite with him, did the necessities, but kept the contact to the minimum. Which wasn’t as hard, taken that they really had no chance to talk to more than a few words during a car ride for example. Prompto seemed to be intimidated by him too, which Ignis could understand from the way he handled him. After a while, Ignis wasn’t sure they will ever work it out.

That day, Ignis knew Prompto will be over at Noctis, because they made their plans in the groupchat where he could see it. Though it was also a day Ignis planned to stock Noctis’ groceries. There was no time before both Ignis and Prompto were in Noctis’ apartment, but Ignis didn’t plan to stay anyway. Just to drop off groceries then go on. He pulled up to one of the stores near Noctis’ apartment that evening to get the shopping done. Though as he got out of his car in the store’s small parking lot a few kids ran past him toward the street to disappear behind one of the corners. They weren’t older than high school students, looking like they weren’t exactly frequent about this area. The group looked like the kind of kids that spent more time on the streets than at home. Ignis wondered what they were doing in this district at all, but as he turned his head toward the grocery store he spotted Prompto standing by a vending machine near the entrance, clutching his hand to his chest. He was bleeding.

Ignis was on alert immediately as he crossed the parking lot to hurry to him.

“Prompto,” he called the boy to signal him he was there, because Prompto seemed to be more occupied with his pain at the moment. But at his voice, he looked up and he didn’t look less scared at all.

“Don’t come closer it’s bleeding really bad!” the blonde shouted, his voice trembling from the crying that was probably trapped in his lungs. His tear filled, blue eyes were looking at something on Ignis’ shoulder as he clutched at his own chest. Ignis took his stance in immediately. Prompto was hurt, bleeding, scared and he was actually angry too.

“Let me see it,” Ignis demanded, taking a step closer.

“No, please!” Prompto yelled, backing away. That moment the automatic doors of the store opened and an older woman Ignis recognized as one of the cashiers hurried outside. She looked around, and when she spotted them she came over too.

“I called the police! Where did they go?” she asked, looking around. Prompto looked around a bit lost at the question, a few tears dropped from his eyes.

“What happened?” Ignis asked instead. She turned toward him a little shaken herself too.

“I don’t know- these kids just started yelling, I just heard the shouting and when I came out they had a knife, so I…” she rubbed her hands together nervously looking at Prompto a little guilty. Ignis didn’t blame her though, she had no chance against a band of teenagers if they appeared as violent as she described.

“They were saying bad things about Noct- About the Prince,” Prompto snapped suddenly.

“Ah, yes…” the cashier sighed, putting her hand to his mouth.

Ignis licked his lips as he looked between them for a moment. Then he turned to her.

“We have to look at the wound, can I get a bottle of water, please?” he requested quietly. She just nodded and hurried away. Ignis then looked at Prompto.

“Let me see, please,” he asked again, holding out his hand. Prompto pressed his lips together, contemplating. But Ignis had patience. This was no different than with Noctis sometimes. In the end Prompto nodded and held out his wounded hand for him. Ignis reached for it and walked closer.

“No, no you’ll get bloody!” Prompto whimpered, but Ignis didn’t let go when he tried to back away again.

“This is just blood, nothing that a wash can’t help about,” Ignis assured gently. “I’d like to see if you’re fine,” he said as he took Prompto’s hand in two of his to examine the wound. It was bleeding heavily, yes, but thankfully it wasn’t deep. It was a cut running over his palm, probably made by a knife that wasn’t sharp at all. When the lady had brought the water Ignis poured a generous amount over Prompto’s palm to clean off the blood and see if there was anything else. “You’re not hurt anywhere else?” he asked. Prompto just shook his head. He was truly shocked, but not hurt. “Come, let me patch you up,” Ignis said, gently pulling the boy toward his car.

“Eh?” Prompto stuttered, but he went when Ignis pulled him. They walked to the car, where Ignis always kept a first aid kit in the trunk. He took the box out, and placed it on the hood of the trunk before he got the tools he needed. 

Neither of them spoke as Ignis cleaned and disinfected the wound, then bandaged it up. Prompto’s hand wasn’t as delicate as Noctis’, nor huge as Gladio’s. It was a small, but sturdy hand, with callouses on his palm. Ignis recognized it as a hand which was either doing hard labor, or lifting weights. He wondered which one was the case of Prompto’s, but maybe both. He also noted the wristband on him, hiding a barcode Ignis had seen only on photographs before. But he won’t point it out, if Prompto didn’t want to tell him, or to Noctis, then he won’t pry. There will be a time and place for that too, surely.

“It may heal a little slow, it’s at a very unlucky place,” Ignis remarked as he put everything back in the first aid box. “You may want to keep from heavy lifting too.”

“Thank you…” Prompto muttered as he raised his hand to look at it, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “You’re good at this,” he said. Ignis smiled a little, politely accepting the compliment. He wanted to ask what happened, but he also wanted to give Prompto time to gather himself.

“I’ll stay with you until the police arrive, they must be here any minute now,” Ignis spoke as he put the box back in the trunk.

“No, wait-- I- You don’t have to, I’m fine, I’ll be fine,” Prompto stuttered. Ignis sighed, looking him over; with his messy hair and red eyes, his school uniform bloodied from his cut, shaken and a bit smaller than he actually was. No, he couldn’t just leave him here.

“You have someone you can call to be with you?” Ignis asked.

“I- My parents are working, but that’s fine, I’ll be okay alone,” Prompto said. “You wanted to go to Noctis, right? I don’t want to keep you…”

“You were going there too, no?” Ignis raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, but I uh… I’m, I think I’ll go home. I don’t want to worry Noct.”

“Me neither, that’s why I’ll stay with you, so I can tell him you were fine,” Ignis said at last. “Come on, sit in the car, it’s a bit cold outside to be standing around. Are you hungry?”

“I’m- no, no I’m- no,” Prompto shook his head. Ignis knew he was lying. He was such an open book, so expressive and pure, and sadness did not suit him at all. So Ignis said nothing, just opened the car door for him. The boy went and sat on the backseat, trying to appear the smallest.

While Prompto was waiting in the car, Ignis quickly picked up a few items from the shop, letting the blonde have a breather too, a moment for himself to calm down. He also included a drink and a meatbun for Prompto, until they were waiting, even if he wasn’t hungry. He’ll eat it when he is.

“You’re… you’re so kind to me, even if you don’t like me…” Prompto started when Ignis got into the car, next to him on the backseat. Ignis sighed, because before he got to know him that sentence may have been true, though he wasn’t sure about it anymore.

“It’s just natural, I wouldn’t let a friend of Noct’s stay behind alone,” he said, taking a look through the car window toward the shop. Prompto finally took the food, nervously picking at the packaging. It was quiet, and for some reason, Ignis was nervous, but he at least knew what to do: help Prompto through this, then take him to Noctis. In the end, Ignis still asked: “What happened, Prompto?”

The boy sighed, looking up at Ignis, maybe the first time he really looked at him.

“They said mean things about Noctis, about the King, too,” he said quietly. “They said they don’t care about the people, that they just sit on their wealth and let the others outside the Wall die- die…” Prompto stuttered, and bit in his lips, looking away. “I told them it’s not true, that Noctis isn’t evil… Because he isn’t! He’s… not like that at all! And that’s when...” he swallowed, looking at his hand.

Ignis tilted his head at him as he was watching him intently. He was thinking about the report he read about this boy, he was thinking about the barcode on his wrist, but he also remembered Noctis' words. That he likes trains, he likes taking photos, and he also… likes Noctis.

“You could’ve just walked away, without a word,” Ignis tested quietly. The meatbun’s packaging crackled as Prompto squeezed it in his trembling hand.

“I know I’m just a nobody, a commoner, but I want to be there for Noctis!” Prompto said in a weak but determined voice. “I don’t want people to talk about him like that, I… it’s not fair! They know nothing about him!” Then, as if he realized something, he turned his gaze at Ignis again. “I mean, I don’t know a lot of things about him either, but…”

“But you still want to protect him,” Ignis finished instead of him, softly. Prompto just nodded. “That’s very noble of you, Prompto.”

“What… what?” the blonde blinked, seemingly taken off guard by Ignis’ remark.

“I said, it’s very noble of you. You’re loyal to your friend, to your prince… There aren’t many who actually can say that,” Ignis said, setting his glasses.

“But- but there’s you, you’re loyal to him, no?” Prompto tried. “And I’m sure there are… others too…”

“There may be,” Ignis nodded. “But you aren’t with him just because he’s a prince, am I right? That’s why they attacked you, no?”

“How- how do you know!?” the blonde gasped, then clamped his hand over his mouth, looking away.

Ignis didn’t want to say it was kind of easy to guess from the few details. Why would high school kids start to sputter about Noctis and the King just when Prompto was there? He was targeted, they were probably kids from their school, knowing they are friends and thinking Prompto just got lucky and he just wants whatever influence Prince Noctis would have. This wasn’t an attack on Noctis, not entirely, but on a weak spot of Noctis. And Ignis silently swore, it will never happen again.

“You know those kids, don’t you?” Ignis asked. Prompto didn’t answer. Ignis also had a guess that he won’t tell that to the police, or Noctis. “Has this happened before?”

“N-no!”

It probably did. Ignis wasn’t entirely sure why Prompto wouldn’t tell him, but it may go back to the fact that he didn’t trust him. Which he didn’t blame the boy for.

“I can deal with it!” Prompto said into the tense silence.

“I know,” Ignis nodded. To which Prompto looked at him, once again, surprised. “You have the fundamentals down, and that is the most important. Your values are in the right place when it comes to Noctis,” Ignis continued. “And if you let me, I can help you.”

“Help- help me how?”

“For starters, I could show you how to punch them quick and effective,” Ignis said.

The utter shock and surprise on Prompto’s face was almost comical as he stuttered at Ignis for a few solid minutes.

“I- but- but- but…”

Ignis patiently waited until Prompto finally worked up the words.

“I thought, you’re a retainer? I mean- isn’t it- wouldn’t it be- I mean, I-I’m Noct’s friend, and if I punch people-”

“Then they will know that no one messed with Prince Noctis’ friends,” Ignis nodded. Then he added, seeing Prompto’s expression: “I also had punched many people in honor of Noctis. But that’s a secret,” he said, placing his finger against his lips.

Prompto stared at him, his eyes wide and sans tears. His pale expression slowly warmed up, blushing even, so much that Ignis could count all the freckles on his complexion.

“You’re so cool, Ignis…” he whispered in awe. Ignis huffed, not entirely sure about that compliment from Prompto at all. Then as he looked out the window he saw the police car pulling up by the store.

“Let’s continue this later, you have a confession to make,” he said.

Ignis was with Prompto the whole time they questioned him. As expected, Prompto gave every detail, except that he knew the kids and that they were going to the same school as him. But Ignis didn’t blame him for it, it was the best this way. He’ll have means to get back to them later, without anyone unnecessary butting into it. 

“Aaah, I could sleep for days now,” Prompto stretches as they were walking back to Ignis’ car about an hour later.

“I’m sure, you had a long evening,” Ignis nodded. “Shall we go to Noct’s then?”

Prompto stopped, considering.

“I’m not sure if I want him to see me like this,” he said quietly, looking at his hand.

“I understand, but…” Ignis licked his lips a little unsure, not wanting to reveal that he’s familiar with Prompto’s family background. “You may not want to be alone tonight. You said your parents are working?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Noctis will understand,” Ignis assured. He also wanted Noctis to know what kind of loyal friend he has, too. Prompto bit at his lower lip as he was eying Ignis, thinking.

“Alright,” he agreed a last.

This time, Prompto sat on the passenger’s seat next to Ignis. Which he didn’t mind. It felt a bit less official than if he sat in the back.

“Hey, uh, Ignis?” Prompto started when they set off. “Thanks…” 

Now it was time for Ignis to be slightly unnerved. He swallowed taking a glance at Prompto for the road.

“No need to thank me, Prompto,” he said.

“I know, I still wanted to,” the blonde smiled. “I’m sorry I thought you’re a jerk…” he blurted out. It made Ignis chuckle, actually.

“You were right,” he said. “I was, indeed, a jerk with you. I’d like to apologize for that, too.”

“No, no no you weren’t, it’s just…!” Prompto stuttered holding up his hands. But Ignis just sent an amused look at him. “Uh… okay, um, apology accepted, I guess?”

“You can think about it,” Ignis told him. “I just hope one day we’ll be able to trust each other.”

“Ah, that sounds so serious,” Prompto chuckled. “But, uh, yeah, yeah that’d be nice.”

Ignis drove Prompto to Noctis and escorted him up to his apartment, where the prince was already waiting for them.

“Where were you?” Noctis started as they walked inside, but then he spotted the blood on Prompto’s shirt and his bandaged hand and froze. “What happened?” he asked, his gaze immediately going to Ignis.

“The streets aren’t that safe around here anymore,” Ignis answered seriously, because it was true. He wanted to leave it up to Prompto to tell Noctis what exactly happened.

“Yeah, and Ignis was kind to help me, sorry we had to wait for the police, but man it was intense!” Prompto said.

Noctis glared at both of them, knowing they were bullshitting. Ignis was almost proud of him for noticing it. Then he crossed his arms, staring at them expectantly.

“What happened?” he asked, again.

“It’s--!” Prompto started, but Ignis put his hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Why won’t you two sit down in the living room and talk, I’ll make dinner until then,” he said. “I’m sure both of you must be hungry,” he added, sending a look at Noctis too. Prompto nodded, with a heavy sigh, looking over at Noctis.

It was kind of domestic, Ignis wondered as he prepared a quick pasta for the boys. He heard them talk over an intro music of some game that was paused. So he couldn’t exactly make it out, but he didn’t really want to. It was private between them, after all. When the food was ready, Noctis asked him if he could stay for dinner, which was a pleasant surprise. So Ignis prepared a small portion for himself too, and they sat down to eat together. It didn’t feel like an empty car ride, or a tense silence. Prompto was talking a lot, he was joking and he was loud, he was terribly bright and full of life and Ignis felt his heart ache for some reason. Could be jealousy, could be relief, but definitely more of something good. That Noctis has taken a friend like Prompto, someone who can make him smile, and laugh so much he chokes on his drink. It was good to see Noctis like that, and for some reason, Ignis also relaxed in the company of the two of them.

After dinner Prompto and Noctis returned to their game and Ignis washed the dishes before he would leave. He warned Noctis to eat breakfast tomorrow, even if it was the weekend and try to at least take out the trash. Though as he was about to walk out the door, Noctis hurried to him. Ignis blinked at him a little alarmed.

“Did I forget something?” he asked. Noctis just shook his head and moved in to put his arms around him, squeezing hard. Ignis gasped softly, his arms also coming up to hold the little prince in his arms. “Noct? What happened?”

“Thank you for taking care of my friends!” Noctis muttered into Ignis’ shirt. Ignis let out a deep sigh, feeling a little overwhelmed. He swallowed, nodding as he pet Noctis’ head.

“You don’t need to thank me,” he whispered. Noctis just nodded, squeezing him, before letting him go. Then he looked up at him with his dark blue eyes, glinting with tears he would deny. “I know he’s important to you, and thus, he’s important for me too. He’s a good friend.”

Noctis just nodded again, and again.

“He is,” he said, smiling a little. Ignis smiled back, tousling Noctis hair as he moved away.

“I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon,” Ignis said at last and left. His chest was heavy, and he felt terribly tired, and yet, still light in a way. He’s got to know Prompto in a way he didn’t before. In a way maybe not even Noctis does. He was a good person. A reliable one, despite his age… Though as Ignis was thinking about that, his phone started ringing.

“Are you sleeping yet?” Gladio asked instead of a greeting when Ignis picked up.

“What if I did and you woke me up?” the retainer challenged.

“Yeah no, you’d be more nasty then. So go to sleep, put down those files and go to sleep,” Gladio said.

“I was with Noct, I’m heading home now.”

“Oh. Everything okay?”

“Yes, more than okay,” Ignis nodded, sitting into his car. He sighed, leaning back in his seat, just looking over the underground garage. “I could talk to Prompto too,” he started. “He’ll be alright."

"Hah, what's that supposed to mean?" Gladio chuckled a little unsure. “What did you do to him?” Ignis snorted amused.

"Nothing, I just wanted you to know. That he’s a good kid," he added.

"I see,” Gladio was smiling, Ignis could tell. His voice was warm too as he continued: “Take care then, Iggy."

“You too.”

\--

Later, Ignis made a training schedule for Prompto to strengthen some of his muscles and also offered to offer classes to him in ‘how to punch people’. He also suggested that Gladio could also train Prompto in some ways. It all wasn’t official, but it gave Prompto a bit of confidence. It made Ignis feel better too. Because if Prompto wanted to be a friend of Noctis who can also protect him, then Ignis will be the first one to support that decision.


	17. Chapter 16

The scent of blood was so thick that Ignis could taste it on his tongue. Or maybe he just imagined it. But he had no time to wash it off yet. They were called into Sir Amicitia’s office, still bleeding, still exhausted, and Ignis knew why: they had to get their story in order for the reports, for the people, for the Council. Because it was… just as big of a mess as they all were. A bunch of teenagers, mere weeks from graduating from the Academy.

Ignis carried his tired gaze around the room in Sir Amicitia’s office where they had to wait in. Gladio standing by his father’s desk, his back to Ignis who found his spot in a dark corner out of the way. Between them, a handful of their schoolmates were standing around in various states of distress. Ignis couldn’t see his face, but Gladio’s stance was so tense that Ignis thought he will snap at any moment. But he won’t. He can’t. If Ignis knew Sir Amicitia at all, all that they did will be put on Gladio’s strong shoulders and he will have to bear it alone.

A moment later, Sir Amicitia hurried inside, looking over the kids with a pained and closed off expression as he went to his desk. Oh, he was exceptionally angry, Ignis noted, especially when their eyes met.

“Will I receive a report from the Scientias too, Ignis?” Sir Amicitia asked.

“The Scientias weren’t there, Sir,” Ignis said as if he was just discussing the weather. A few of his schoolmates looked over to him for a moment in confusion. Ignis watched as the Crownsguard Captain’s gaze dropped on his bloody hands and shirt. His lips thinned as he tried his best not to say anything useless.Then he cleared his throat, turning his attention to Gladio.

“Report,” he ordered him.

Gladio swallowed and straightened his back. And told everything.

\--

An hour after the Sun was down, a daemon was sighted wreaking havoc on the North side of the City, uncomfortably close to the city center. Something like that doesn’t just walk in, Ignis thought as he stepped on the gas and sped up the highway. Something that huge was placed there. Someone had smuggled that thing inside… but how? That fact showed that this was an attack by the Empire, again. It was all over the news, too. Ignis had gotten the information only half an hour earlier than it would show on live television. It meant something was terribly off, because something that huge should have been anticipated by the Scientias at least. But there were no reports, no signs indicating that the Empire was even planning such a thing. There was  _ nothing _ .

On top of all that, the circumstances were similar to when Noctis had gotten hurt and that made Ignis especially on edge over all this. He had received reports from Scientias arriving to the scene and it wasn’t too promising. Since he was Prince Noctis’ retainer he was ordered to fetch him and take him to the Citadel where he would be the most secure. Ignis agreed, and that was the reason he was trying to get to Noctis’ apartment as soon as possible.

“What happened, what’s that?!” Noctis welcomed him screaming and angry and… scared. Though it was buried under anger, which Ignis didn’t mind. Anger was more productive at times than fear.

“It’s an undocumented daemon,” Ignis answered, his gaze flickering on the tv screen in Noctis’ living room, showing the strange creature. Looking unlike any daemon he had known; with a jelly like body, yet having the shape of some kind of lizard. And growing bigger. At least it only seemed to have physical attacks so far, but it may have been possible its skin could be poisonous. All bad news for Crownsguard deployed to fight it. “Spotted nearly an hour ago, and it seems to gain mass by the minute,” he reported, setting his glasses. “Lets go, we need to go to the Citadel.”

“How did it get here?!” Noctis asked, but went with Ignis without hesitation.

“We’re still working to obtain that information,” Ignis answered as he escorted Noctis to the car, surrounded by Glaives and Crownsguards too. He also noted that just yesterday, most of the Glaives were deployed outside the wall, because there was information of an attack from Niflheim too close to the gates. Ignis wondered how he never received reports from that deployment and engagement either. Something was going on here, he wondered. He instructed Noctis to put on his seatbelt before he drove out of that underground garage, definitely breaking the speed limit.

“It’ll kill people!” Noctis yelled, as he strained his neck to try and catch a glimpse of the daemon.

“Most probably,” Ignis answered, then closed his eyes for a moment. That may not have been the right answer to Noctis. “We’ll work our best to contain it before it would hurt more people,” he added. It was true, both the Scientias and the Crownsguard with the remaining Glaives were trying to organize teams to try and contain it. It may work, if the bastard won’t get bigger, Ignis thought. But his first and most important priority was Noctis.

Thankfully they reached the Citadel in a short time, just to arrive at the place, already full with Crownsguards. As they crossed the entrance hall to get to the elevator, Ignis couldn’t help but wonder if this is how true war felt like. He looked over at Noctis, hating the expression he had on: angry, yet blank. This was a war he will one day inherit to fight, and Ignis knew that Noctis did not feel ready at all. He wanted to reach out and console him, but there was no time.

Since the situation was declared as a military emergency, the Council meeting room was appointed for them to assemble and think up a strategy. Which appeared to be harder than Ignis figured.

“It’s a trap,” Sir Amicitia declared once everyone involved was present in the room. King Regis, a few Council members, the Marshal, and Master Sulla too. Captain Drautos was out with the Glaives. They let Ignis and Gladio in and Noctis also insisted to be present, though they could only watch and listen from the sidelines. “It was a deliberate attack this time, they knew the Glaives and most of the Crownsguards are gonna be deployed outside the Wall.”

Ignis somehow felt responsible for that. Usually it was the Scientia’s task to protect the City from sneak attacks as such and this time something went terribly wrong. The deep silence coming from Master Sulla also confirmed that suspicion of his.

King Regis looked worried over the map in front of him on the table. Master Sulla had signed the movements of the daemon on it. It appeared like it was closing in on the Citadel.

“We already deployed troops to stop it, it’s been contained,” Sir Amicitia said. “But it’ll take a while to fully defeat it. It’s still getting bigger.”

“Has it truly been contained?” Regis asked, just to confirm it. Ignis felt his stomach drop, because he knew what will happen. They had no men to spare. All the rest had to stay behind the Citadel, because this was indeed a trap. A trap to try and lure all defenses away from the Crystal and the King, probably. At the expense of innocent lives. “Let’s wait then, until we know for sure.”

King Regis was always soft with his orders, yet everyone knew what they meant.

“What about the people in the area?” Gladio suddenly started, startling Ignis with the harshness of his voice.

Sir Amicitia sighed deeply and suffering as he raised his eyes at his son from the map.

“The authorities already started evacuating the districts, the people will be protected by the Crownsguard on site too,” he said.

Right, but the police and the firefighters weren’t exactly trained for daemon attacks. And the Crownsguard while fighting a monster how exactly could they protect the people? Ignis would ask, but he didn’t. It wasn’t his fight.

“I could go there, I have people from the Academy who could come with me,” Gladio insisted. “We could support the troops.”

“Gladio, that’s enough!” Sir Amicitia snapped, as if he would snap at a small child who didn’t want to go to sleep. “You are going to stay here, protecting the Citadel like the rest of the Crownsguard.” It pained him to say that, Ignis could tell. From the way his eyes glared, from the way his hands clenched into fists as he was leaning on the table. He was tired. He had this fight before and he made this decision over and over again.

“Yes, sir,” Gladio hissed after a moment. Ignis didn’t dare to look at him. He must have looked angry, but that wasn’t it. Just the thought of Gladio going out and fighting with a huge monster which appeared to be like a cross between a reptile and a venomous blob, with a bunch of soon-to-be Crownsguards was a new nightmare material for him.

“With that settled, you must excuse me,” Master Sulla bowed slightly at them.

“Indeed. But if you obtain any information, anything, you must report immediately,” Sir Amicitia told her. Master Sulla nodded then turned to leave. Though before she would have opened the door she turned her head toward Ignis.

“Ignis, a word,” she spoke quietly.

Ignis couldn’t help but feel alarmed as he followed his Master outside the meeting room. He sent a worried gaze at Noctis and Gladio whom he had to leave behind.

“Have you heard anything about the Empire lately?” Master Sulla asked as Ignis fell in step with her toward the elevator.

“Nothing,” Ignis said frowning. Wondering why would his master ask him that. He was more likely to be updated on inside matters and not things outside the Wall. The fact that his Master had to ask him was worrisome. “Something happened, right?” Ignis dared to ask.

Master Sulla sent him a look as they stopped by the elevator. The silence was confirming enough.

“I’ll look into what we could have missed,” she started quietly. “Until then, do not trust anyone. This is a bigger emergency than that daemon out there. Someone’s targeting all the defenses of the King.”

Traitors. The word appeared in Ignis mind bright red and sharp as a knife. There were traitors in the Citadel, in the City. Amongst their ranks. He swallowed, feeling all the color leaving his face. He opened his mouth to ask something, but both of their phones signalled in that moment. The news they had to read weren’t reassuring at all.

There was another daemon spotted, on the other side of the City. Smaller than the other one, but the same type. It will also get bigger, and bigger… Ignis felt his throat getting dry, as he looked up at his Master.

Master Sulla didn’t look away from her phone, her hand shaking as she was holding the device. They both knew that the King had no troops to counter both of the daemons. One of them had to be taken on at the Citadel.

“I’ll order all Scientias to lay low,” Master Sulla said at last. “We won’t engage until it’s absolutely necessary. We need to keep our wits and strengths with us. This will have to be handled by the Crownsguard.”

Ignis somewhat understood the logic behind her decision. They weren’t shields, they were daggers. They weren’t exactly people who would deal with a direct attack like this, they weren’t prepared for it. They needed to keep the King safe by his side, by the Citadel. Because he was the most important.

“Understood,” Ignis nodded, pocketing his phone.

“I’ll keep you updated,” Master Sulla said, before she got into the elevator. Ignis swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. Yes, the royal family, King Regis and Noctis was the most important here. They can think about what went wrong after they aren’t in immediate danger anymore. Right now, they will have to wait. With that mindset, Ignis turned to go back to the meeting room, just to have Sir Amicitia storm by him toward the elevators too. He didn’t say anything, but he appeared terribly angry and worried. Ignis could guess why: the news about the second daemon must have reached them too. He wondered how Gladio was doing.

But as Ignis was thinking about that, he spotted the boy standing outside the meeting room, looking just like his father did a moment ago. Ignis could tell they had a fight. Gladio was probably acting up again, probably wanting to do something utterly stupid… Ignis couldn’t just go past him this time, but stopped by his side. Gladio didn’t seem to notice him being there, his eyes were looking at the corner where his father had disappeared. His hands were in fists and his neck was so tense Ignis was afraid he will snap.

“Gladio, are you alright?” Ignis spoke then, softly. Only then the other seemed to realize he was still here. Gladio turned his amber colored eyes at him. There was a moment of silence there; loaded with many things, Ignis could tell. Yet, he waited for Gladio answer, which he did.

“There’s another one,” he said.

“I know,” Ignis nodded. Gladio sighed, seemingly a bit deflated by the fact that Ignis already knew. He looked around, collecting himself.

“I need to go,” he muttered at last.

_ No _ , Ignis thought with sudden alarm. He turned more toward Gladio, eying him while his heart was racing in his chest.

“Your father ordered you to stay here,” he tried to remind the other.

“Fuck that!” Gladio snapped, swinging his arm as if he would want to shove something away. “As long as there’s no eagle on my back I’m not officially taking over the Amicitia title. Until then I do what the fuck ever I want! People from the Academy are already out there wanting to fight that thing!”

Ignis frowned heavily. They were already there?

“They got the same kind of training as you and me, that means they can handle---” he started, but immediately stopped himself. Not because Gladio started yelling, it was because he sounded exactly like his Piano Masters. Like a Scientia he never ever wanted to become… Someone who would abandon others, just because ‘they had the same training, they should be able to look after themselves’.

“They need me, and if I’m going to become their Captain one day, they need me  _ now _ !” Gladio yelled at the same time.

“We’re here to protect the royal family,” Ignis insisted. “That’s our duty. We must stay here.”

Gladio shook his head in frustration before he shouted.

“People are safe here. This place’s the safest it could be. His Majesty and Noct will be alright, but those people trapped in those buildings? In their cars? On the streets? What about them? Without those people, none of this crap would mean anything!” He motioned around the hallway, his voice echoing off the walls and Ignis was sure that they could hear him in the meeting room too. “They may be just small people, without magic, without any royal blood, but they’re the people of the Kingdom.  _ They  _ are the kingdom, Ignis.”

Watching Gladio speak about the people, about protecting them, Ignis had to realize many things. One was the tension the Amicitias and Scientias had. Ironically, Gladio said that he wasn’t taking on the Amicitia heritage just yet, and still he did exactly that: he wanted to protect people. The Amicitias were kind. Too kind, Ignis remembered his teachers saying. They were looking out for the people, the people of his Majesty. While the Scientias… well, they were there only for the royal family and no one else. Because no one else mattered to them.

Somehow, Ignis couldn’t help to think about Prompto for a moment.

“I’m going,” Gladio said at last. “Gonna come with me?” he asked. Because of course he would ask.

The other thing Ignis realized about Gladio was, that it wasn’t just his first time he had. He had something more precious in his hands. Something Ignis probably won’t and can’t ever take back: his heart.

“No,” Ignis answered at last. Quietly, almost afraid, surprising himself too.

The shock on Gladio’s face was like a slash in the gut; it hurt and bled. But that was the truth; Noctis was far more important than anything else. They couldn’t risk their lives right now, not in a stupid way like this. But Ignis can’t just tie Gladio up to keep him away from danger.

Gladio let out a shaky breath, his gaze looking toward the door of the meeting room. He was scared, Ignis could tell, but he was determined. This is what bravery was, Ignis wondered. Gladio knew full well what was waiting for him out there and he still chose to face it. For the people. Because he was a Shield of the people too.

“Keep ‘em safe, then,” he spoke quietly, as a goodbye. Ignis watched him hurry away, his heart sinking as he disappeared around the corner. But at least now he knew why the Scientias and Amicitias were clashing; their values laid in different ways. Which was fine. It was fine.

Ignis’ knees shook a little as he walked back into the room, finding King Regis in discussion with some of the council members while Noctis was sitting on the far end of the table, tapping at his phone. Ignis walked up to him, to ask if he was fine, just to spot Prompto’s profile pic on the screen of his phone.

Suddenly, Gladio’s words echoed in his mind ‘ _ They are the kingdom, Ignis. _ ’ Ignis thought it made sense to him before, but right at that moment it became crystal clear what Gladio meant.

“Noct,” Ignis spoke quietly, to get Noctis’ attention. The boy looked up at him, his face paler than usual, with smoldering, helpless anger behind his eyes. Somehow, it made Ignis’s decision easier. “I need to go,” Ignis said, as if asking for permission.

Noctis’ eyes widened, scared. Ignis knew he wanted to protest, to tell him to stay, because he needed him, because he was afraid. But in the end, Noctis pressed his lips together and nodded.

“But you’ll come back,” he said quietly. It was a request. An order. Maybe the first one Noctis had ever told him. Ignis realized that he is proud to serve such a prince and king-to-be. Noctis was alright, Noctis will be a great king.

“I will,” Ignis swore to him.

“Bring back Gladio too,” Noctis added softly.

“I’ll try,” Ignis sighed and took his phone as he turned to leave. They had no time to lose, and he knew Gladio was too caught up in his heroism to think about proper communication or weapons for this mission. He just wanted to go and headbutt that creature already, but as long as Ignis lived Gladio will do that in full armor with the King’s devices protecting him.

So Ignis took his phone and called Gladio praying to all the Six that he picks up.

And he did.

“You need to listen to me,” Ignis started before Gladio could say anything. “You need to take a detour toward the armory in the Citadel, take as many weapons as you can carry.”

“Iggy…?” the other stuttered on the other end of the line.

“I’ll send someone to meet you at the gates with proper communication devices, we must stay in touch if we want to do this right. Give those to as many of your men as you can. I’ll arrange a ride for you, and the rest of the people you’d want to pick up.”

“No need I’ve already got a ride,” Gladio interrupted. Ignis sighed, because that was a huge help. “You won’t come?”

“I’ll need to get prepared too. I need time to gather information. You’ll need to wait for me,” Ignis added.

“On site?”

“On site. I’ll be there, I promise.”

“Alright, sounds like a plan,” Gladio said. Ignis hung up without saying bye, because they will talk again soon. He swore that if the idiot Amicitia wanted to do this, he will do this with the guidance of a Scientia, to have the best chances possible. Even if those best chances were still between one and zero percent.

Ignis headed to the Crownsguards communication room and booked out a few earpieces for himself and for Gladio’s team. He sent them to the gates by a maid who obviously was confused, but Ignis got away with saying it was an order. Thankfully she did not belong to the Scientia maids, so she had to oblige. Ignis noted to thank for her bravery later when they survive this chaos. In a short time, his earpiece was live and Gladio entered their frequency along with a few others. There must have been six to seven people altogether.

Ignis listened to Gladio work up a plan with the others, which contained getting on site and covering the creature’s tracks so far and help anyone that may need it. They weren’t about to engage until Scientia was joining them. Of course that flamed up an argument, but Gladio stood his ground for which Ignis was thankful. He won’t let that team go into battle without knowing anything about the creature.

So before Ignis would have went to the armory himself, first he was heading to the Scientia Archives where they kept records on daemons too. He guessed that the daemons were probably still not documented and it was difficult to make out their features in the dark of the night, but he will have to try and read up quickly upon lizard type daemons.

Though as the elevator doors opened on the 44th floor, Ignis found himself face to face with someone he did not expect to see.

“Sir Foedus?” Ignis blinked utterly confused at him. The man took a step back as he was looking at him, though he appeared calm as ever. Too calm. Ignis subconsciously reached for his earpiece and turned it off.

“Ignis,” Foedus nodded at him, in a strange kind of greeting. Only then Ignis realized that he was holding some files. Was he about to take them out of the archive? At a time like this? They weren’t files of daemons or creatures, the color of the folders told Ignis. It was something else. 

“What are you doing?” Ignis asked, refusing to leave the elevator for now.

“Now, my boy, aren’t you being rude?” Sir Foedus smiled and Ignis wanted to punch him for some reason. “You know very well what I’m doing,” he added when Ignis refused to comment on his useless remark. He wasn’t his teacher anymore.

“You’re stealing information,” Ignis said.

“Borrow,” Sir Foedus smirked. “Isn’t it what you did, too? Borrow information?”

Ignis felt his limbs going cold. Sir Foedus using his case to walk out with files? On people? Probably with sensitive information? Was it really the same thing?

“Niflheim would call it that too?” Ignis challenged. It made Sir Foedus chuckle and suddenly he walked into the elevator, with Ignis still there.

“Listen, my dear darling child,” he spoke as he leaned terribly close to press a button on the panel. Ignis hated how his body suddenly shut down, unable to move. His mind shouted at him to move to run to kick and punch and but he did nothing. He watched as Sir Foedus’ finger pressed the button, then his hand moved to his shoulder. “Things like this happen all the time.”

The elevator doors closed and Ignis wondered if he was charmed or something, because why couldn’t he move?

“The family knows me, they know my nature and sometimes, in exchange for my servitude, they let me get away with things.” Sir Foedus spoke, his breath was getting too hot on Ignis’ ear as his fingers suddenly brushed up against the back of his neck. Ignis felt like he was unable to breathe. “So don’t get cocky with me, boy, I serve the family in better ways than you ever will.”

That was not true. That was so not true and yet Ignis could say nothing. All he could focus on were those fingers on his neck and how close Sir Foedus was standing to him. He could smell his old clothes, he could hear the folders crumple just a bit in his hold.

“Oh I wish we had more time, Ignis,” Sir Foedus whispered. “I always wanted more time with you, maybe even ask you to come with me to the Empire. Your thirst for power would find such a fertile ground there.”

“I’m not-” Ignis tried, stuttering, as if he forgot how to speak suddenly.

“Don’t lie to yourself,” the man chuckled, harsh and accusing. He grabbed Ignis’ chin to turn his head toward him, and Ignis closed his eyes. He was  _ afraid _ to look at this man. “You rebelled not because of the Lucis Caelums, but because you know you can do so much more without the shackles of these rules and regulations. You’re so angry and you know why? Because you have to play by the rules, while you know they just bind you.”

Ignis hissed as he felt the back of his head hit the wall and a body pressing up against him.

“You’re above the rules. Above everyone else. If you want you could take this whole place and step up as shadow king, and yet you’re still here, struggling at my feet like a worm,” Sir Foedus grinned. Ignis squirmed a little, feeling like his body was tied by invisible rope he couldn’t escape from. “Tell me Ignis, how was it to be the Amicitia kid’s bed warmer? Did he treat you right? Would he obey your every command if he could choke you with his cock?”

It was a disgusting accusation; so shocking that Ignis finally opened his eyes, just to find himself face to face with Sir Foedus. He felt sick to his stomach. ‘Above anyone else’? ‘Shadow king’? ‘Obey your every command…’? Did he really carry all that inside him? But all those thoughts got interrupted when he felt a finger press at his lower lip.

“It’s a shame I could never have you, even when you were offered on a silver platter to me,” Sir Foedus spoke in a distant, slightly angry voice. Ignis felt that finger slide past his lips, forcing his mouth open to swipe at his tongue. “You must have been exceptionally sweet.”

Ignis had no idea what did it. What was the switch that finally made him move. It wasn’t a huge move either: he just closed his jaw, biting down on the finger in his mouth. Hard. And not letting go. Not even when he heard the screaming of Sir Foedus. Ignis only let him go when he felt the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.

Sir Foedus yelled something at him, raising his arm to hit him. Ignis also lifted his hand to counter him, but at the same time he reached for the panel to stop the elevator. He won’t let Foedus leave here, he decided. He saw the files being dropped on the floor, making some papers fly around the small space as they struggled. Ignis didn’t hear anything, only the ringing in his ear, and somehow the whole elevator appeared like there was just too much light there. He could barely see anything. He heard Foedus yell and shout over the ringing, but he couldn’t make out what it was.

Though, when Ignis spotted a dagger in the man’s hand, at least he could focus on that. And when it missed him, making a slash across his forearm, the pain finally brought him back to reality. To the reality he was trying to avoid: Sir Foedus wanted to kill him. He wasn’t just trying to stop him, no, he wanted to  _ kill _ him. The thought was scarier than Ignis anticipated for some reason. And sometimes fear was the key to survival.

Foedus was quick, but he was weak and angry, Ignis realized that after a bit of struggle where he was just trying to avoid him. Ignis realized that he was stronger than him, he was smarter than him, and he was… he could win against him. Sir Foedus did not expect a direct attack, so Ignis waited for the right moment and grabbed his wrist of his hand holding the dagger. And broke it. The man shrieked, loud and painful, while Ignis reached for that dagger and turned the blade at the man’s neck, making him back up to the wall.

“What kind of daemon is it!?” Ignis demanded. Sir Foedus snorted.

“How the hell should I know what kind of sick shit Besithia cooks up in his lair!?”

“You planted them, you knew how they work!”

“All I was told to drop them at certain places-” At that point Ignis grabbed the dagger tighter and drove it right through Sir Foedus’ shoulder, making him scream again. The sound made the dagger tremble in Ignis’ hand as he kept it at place.

“Tell me  _ everything _ you know about them!” Ignis yelled through the screaming.

Since Sir Foedus was a worm, so he spilled everything he knew. That the daemons were most probably artificially made in a lab. A cross between a Creme Brulee and something venomous, also growing in size until it will collapse on itself. Sir Foedus laughed as he said he smuggled the daemons through the wall in a  _ jar _ .

“That’s all I know!” the man shrieked then. Ignis glared at him, trying to see if it really was all he knew. But taken that Sir Foedus was the most disgusting person he knew, he most probably was telling the truth. So Ignis slowly pulled the dagger out of his heavily bleeding shoulder. “Now get me to the infirmary!” the man barked then.

“What?” Ignis frowned utterly confused.

“If the family’s gonna throw me in jail at least I want to be patched up!” Sir Foedus hissed. “What? Did you think they gonna execute me or what? I’m too important, I know a lot, I’m a huge source of information on Niflheim. There was a reason they family let me work here,” he snorted, seeing the confusion on Ignis’ face.

Sir Foedus was actually right, Ignis realized. Despite him being dirt on his shoes, they were using his knowledge for a long time now. He was the one who taught Ignis about Niflheim too. And he must have known so much more, taken he was a double agent. The family won’t execute him, not even after trying to steal information, not even after they would find that he hindered the flow of information for Astrals know how long to be able to execute the current attack. Ignis felt something snap in him as he was watching the man in front of him, grabbing his bleeding shoulder. He did not fear the family and he had no respect for Lucis at all, and the family knew that, and they still kept him around. But at what cost?

It was told to all the Scientias who haven’t graduated yet, that they were allowed to do most things during a mission, except killing. They could not judge who was worthy of death and who wasn’t,  _ they had not earned that right _ . They could kill on order. They could kill on self-defense. But they could not kill because they thought it was the  _ right thing _ .

Fuck the family, Ignis thought as he was thinking of Noctis’ scared eyes and the way he was gripping his phone with white fingers while he was texting Prompto. Fuck the family, Ignis thought remembering that Gladio was already out there, fighting for other people’s lives at the cost of his own.

Fuck the family, Ignis thought as he raised the dagger and ran its blade accross Sir Foedus’ throat. Just like he learned it. One swift move to cause them bleed out and make them feel the fear of their death approaching. It wasn’t an easy death, quick one for sure, but the fear and betrayal tainting the man’s slowly dying gaze was something Ignis always, always remembered in all his life.

Only after that he chose to turn on his earpiece again.

\--

Ignis was late, and he was mute, Gladio once again realized as he was watching the huge blob of a daemon in the remaining light of the city. They were following it from a distance, trying to help any people who were still evacuating, but Gladio was itching to let that thing have a taste of his greatsword. A real one and not a training sword they use at the Academy. He was aware that some of the kids with him held real weapons for the first time in their lives and it showed, but they still wanted to be there. Gladio’s stomach was in a knot the whole time he laid eyes on the team that offered their help; the team who wanted to join the Crownsguards after graduation. Still a bunch of kids.

“We should move in, Amicitia,” someone spoke in his earpiece and Gladio cursed it wasn’t Ignis.

“No, we wait, we have to wait,” he insisted. A few of his teammates looked at him worried. Maybe even unsure that he wanted to do this at all, and Gladio  _ hated it _ . Hated to be doubted in the face of danger, when he was supposed to lead and protect these guys.

They were having a breather in an alley, feeling the rumble under their feet as the daemon was bumping into buildings as it was heading toward the Citadel. Now bigger than some of the skyscrapers. Gladio also tapped into the frequency of the Crownsguards, listening in on what was happening with the other daemon at the other side of the City. And it wasn’t good, however, it wasn’t advancing anymore.

“It’ll get bigger and then we won’t be able to take it down,” a guy on his left chimed in. Gladio closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself, then straightened his back looking over the group of people he had with him. All his schoolmates, young and terribly inexperienced yet they still answered when he called them. They are going to be good people, Gladio thought. But being good people never saved anyone from monsters.

So then Glado raised his hand to put his earpiece to active to order all his troop even the ones who were tracking the daemon from the other side.

“Attention to all units, we’re moving in. We have not received intel on the daemon so far, so I’d say try to stick together and cause as much damage as you can,” he ordered. He felt a general tension wash over him and his team nearby. He heard the confirmations over the communication device too. Then he looked over the others once again. “Let’s go,” he said.

Gladio heard the confirmation around him, and through the earpiece too. There it goes, he thought. They will take on a monster no one did before. Gladio went ahead, running up the street to find an opening on the daemon, the others followed.

“Gladio!”

The voice spoke in his ear was Ignis.

“Hold up!” Gladio yelled and held up his hand to signal his team to stop. “Ignis, talk to me!”

“Listen, the daemon is an artificial creature made from a few different types of daemons. It’ll grow in size until it collapses on itself. You have to stop it before that happens,” Ignis said.

Gladio could barely breathe as he was listening to Ignis report about the daemon. Apparently physical attacks would be the best to use on it, so they weren’t wrong about that, but they needed to be quick. Ignis also proposed a tactic to try and trap it, but he left the details of that to Gladio taken he couldn’t exactly get on site in time.

“Please inform the other team of Crownsguards too,” Ignis said. “As the future Crownsguard Captain, they will listen to you. They will have to.”

“Right, thanks Iggy. Get here as soon as you can, we need all the help,” Gladio said then.

“I’m on my way, Captain,” Ignis said and muted out once again.

Somehow it was shocking to hear that from Ignis. Him calling Gladio ‘captain’.

“So what should we do, Captain?” Someone asked through the earpiece too and Gladio realized that indeed, now he was the leader to these people. Their Captain. They will soon be Crownsguards, and he will soon become the Crownsguard Captain…

“You heard the intel, we move in and we have to be quick. We gotta get rid of this fucker before it grows more. Aim for the weak spots you heard in the report, and for Six’s sake keep a clear head!”

Only a little later Ignis had showed up in the battle too; shocking Gladio. Not because he looked like he already fought a daemon before that, but because his cuffs and school shirt was stained with the  _ blood of a human’s _ .

\--

Gladio told everything to his father. From the time he refused his order and ran out of the Citadel to meet with a daemon head on. How he collected the others, what tactic they used, how they could contain the daemon until the reinforcements arrived. Gladio said everything in detail, except what Ignis did for them. He asked him not to. He will have to deal with his family for this anyway, and he rather would have done it without complicating things with the Crownsguard. The rest of the team was also informed that Ignis officially wasn’t involved in any part of the operation.

At the end of the report Sir Amicitia sighed heavily, looking over Gladio and his team.

“This is unacceptable,” he started. “You put your people in danger, Gladio, against my orders even!”

“He didn’t, we all chose to come with him,” a boy from Gladio’s class stepped up suddenly. A few others spoke in quiet agreement too. Ignis didn’t say anything, just crossed his arms, looking at the back of Gladio’s head intently.

“Enough!” Sir Amicitia snapped, looking at the others for a moment. He looked at each one for a long second, before turning his attention back to his son. “The moment these kids chose to be under your guidance you became responsible for them. It doesn’t matter if it was out of their own will or not, once in your team you are the one who had to stick your neck out for them. If you want to be Captain, you need to learn that, too.”

“Yes, Sir,” Gladio nodded.

“If something had happened it was all on you,” Clarus added. “Having loyal men is one end of the coin, but having their backs is another. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Right,” Sir Amicitia sighed, straightening his back to address everyone in the room. Though then his gaze flickered at Ignis once again and fell silent. Ignis shifted in his stance, dropping his hands by his sides too, as if he would accept a challenge. “You’re present as a Scientia or as a Crownsguard, Ignis?”

Both, Ignis wanted to say. But he wasn’t entirely sure if he was still a Scientia after that day, and he was also sure that Clarus Amicitia still didn’t trust him completely.

“As a Scientia, Sir, so I should take my leave,” Ignis said after a moment of pause. Tension was already high and he didn’t want to put more oil to the fire.

“Alright,” Clarus nodded. “But once you graduate the Academy, you’re also going to be a Crownsguard, don’t forget that.”

Ignis frowned a little, looking at the man on the other side of the room. It was a small step, but apparently Clarus Amicitia had welcomed him in the ranks of the Crownsguards no matter what. The offer made Ignis’ chest tighter, somehow.

“I won’t,” he said before he slipped out of the room. He bitterly wondered if his family will disown him for what he had done, he won’t have a place to go anyway, only the Crownsguards. Though as he arrived to the empty corridor by the door of Sir Clarus Amicitia’s office, he got suddenly hit with silence. Clawing, throbbing, painful silence. For a second, Ignis wanted to go back to the room, he wanted not to be alone.

He wanted to see Noctis.

But looking down at his hands and shirt, seeing the dried blood and still smelling and tasting it reminded him he mustn’t visit Noctis looking like this. He needed a shower, and to burn his clothes. He already reported the ‘causality’ of Sir Foedus’ death. The Scientias had already knew about it, but it will be reported to the Crownsguard and the King. Though as he was heading toward the stairs to get the servant’s quarters floor someone called out for him.

It was Master Sulla. Ignis stopped in his tracks, looking at her as she was standing in the opening of a hidden passage.

“Come,” she said. Plain and ordering. Ignis felt a shiver ran through his body at the sight. They won’t take him to a piano room this time. They will take him underground, to the headquarters. They are done handling him, he thought as he nodded and walked to his Master.They disappeared behind the secret door without a trace.

Master Sulla lead him through dark, tight, hidden corridors even ones Ignis has never set foot on. He wondered if they will get rid of him, though he hoped to believe they can’t exactly do that without coming up with a good excuse to King Regis. All the way to the headquarters, Master Sulla said nothing and Ignis asked nothing. There was no need.

“There’s no surveillance on these corridors,” Master Sulla started suddenly when they turned on a longer hallway with a double door at the end of it. “And only the family knows the full map of them, otherwise it can be a maze to one who would stumble upon them.”

Ignis nodded. He knew that. He studied that. He had parts of that map living in his head for emergencies.

When they reached the door, Master Sulla suddenly put her hand on Ignis’ shoulder.

“Hold out your hands,” she ordered. Ignis frowned, but obeyed nonetheless. He held out his hands, as if he would play the piano, just to see them dirty and trembling. Six damn it all. Ignis wasn’t exactly sure why Master Sulla made him aware of this at all. So he quickly clenched his hands into fists and dropped them by his side. Then Master Sulla opened the doors and they entered the Scientia Headquarters.

It looked like a communication room, with computers and machines lining the walls. There were multiple rooms opened from the main room, too. People sat by monitors, or old communication devices, masterfully merging technologies of all ages. It was a busy room, somehow unfit to the Scientias Ignis had encountered before. But in a moment he realized why: they didn’t pretend here. This was the core of being a Scientia, doing their jobs without putting on a facade. Them bringing him here either meant he won’t ever see this room or the family again, or something quite the opposite. Ignis refused to look down at his blood stained hands to try and guess which exactly it will be.

Master Sulla lead him to a small office, which apparently served as someone’s bedroom and an archive too. It was almost smaller than Ignis’ room at the Citadel, yet four people were crammed into it in no time. Three of his masters, and him.

But something was terribly off. All the serious talks he had with his masters, all the punishment, or anything else has been held at a piano room. Never elsewhere. His masters also didn’t wear their staff uniforms for now, but a kind of casual get up. Ignis stopped by the closed door with his back to it, while Master Sulla found her place by his side, the other two masters were standing in front of them. Master Promus didn’t look happy at all, while Master Tertia appeared to be tired. Ignis wondered why he was called here in the first place, seeing them in their most human form the first time.

“What happened, Ignis?” Master Promus asked, with his hands folded over his chest.

“Haven’t you seen the recordings?” Ignis asked, not entirely keen on repeating things. He already whipped up a draft of a report, which he turned in, though he had to admit it wasn’t exactly full on details.

“A noble’s dead and we’ll need to explain it to King Regis, so I’d prefer if you keep your sass to a minimum,” Master Promus hissed. Ignis sighed, licking his lips. He understood the concern. It wasn’t just him, but a Citadel wide scandal. A person died, killed, and they needed to explain that.

“I apologize,” Ignis said quietly, truly meaning it. “It has been a long day,” he added. Then he took a deep breath, wondering where he should start. “I killed Sir Foedus.”

“He wanted you to take him into custody,” Master Tertia said, accusing. Ignis swallowed the answer of ‘he wanted me to baby him first’, then spoke.

“Indeed,” he nodded. He took a moment again, hearing the silent question of ‘why?’. “I deemed him too big of a risk for the Kingdom and for the Lucis Caelums.”

“He was also an important contact to Niflheim,” Ignis’ Master insisted. Ignis just shook his head a little frustrated.

“No information should worth the royal family’s safety,” he snapped. “Sir Foedus was stealing important files on agents, and on the King’s inner circle of people. Information that may have given the Empire too big of an advantage. I wasn’t convinced that any contact or information he could have provided to us in exchange worth it.”

“Even with all that, you had no right to decide his death on your own,” Master Sulla spoke this time. “You should have taken him in custody and let us handle it.”

“I didn’t trust you to do the right thing,” Ignis said without hesitation. Fuck the family, he thought. “You still think information on Niflheim from a rat worth the risk it may bring. Look at what happened. The City is damaged, people died… All because we let a double agent have too much power! It wasn’t about policies and family matters it was about the Kingdom and the Lucis Caelums, about we as a family work for.”

“Without rules anyone could do what they wanted,” Master Tertia hissed. Ignis noted she didn’t exactly said he was wrong. He took it as a small victory.

“I take whatever punishment you give me, but I won’t change my mind about this. I chose to eliminate him, and I know my cause was just,” Ignis stomped impatient. He knew he went against the Scientias once again, so they should just tell him his punishment and move on.

“It was your first kill,” Master Sulla said. Ignis looked at her, once again keeping the comment about how it possibly wasn’t his last. He will do what’s necessary for Noctis, after all. Though he wasn’t exactly sure why Master Sulla felt the need to emphasize that fact. She was just looking at him, maybe a little sad, but then said nothing. In the end she turned toward the other two. “So, did this change any of what we discussed earlier?” she asked.

Ignis blinked. Oh, yes. The punishment. He cleared his throat and straightened his back, being ready for whatever they throw at him this time.

The other two Masters, Master Tertia and Master Promus sighed looking at each other. Then Master Promus shook his head gently. The silence was a strange one that followed. Ignis didn’t say anything, because he told them everything he wanted; now it was their turn to speak.

“Ignis, the reason we have called you here, is to tell you that you were once again an utter disgrace to this family-” Master Promus started.

“Promus!” the other two hissed at him, and Master Tertia even elbowed him in the side. To which the man groaned like he was suffering from some kind of annoying injury. But in the end he took a deep breath and addressed Ignis once again.

“Graduation in the Scientia family usually happens after the students complete a mission that was assigned to them. If they survive, and bring good results, they can be graduated. However, taken you were always a little different. We were also fooled by Sir Foedus, and you were the only one who handled things properly, we decided to let you graduate as of today.”

Graduation didn’t happen to all of the Scientias, Ignis knew that well. That’s why he was unsure they would even let him. But if this all was true. If they said the truth…

“As you already must know, there won’t be a ceremony, or certificates and all that. But the ones who need to know you’re Prince Noctis’ spymaster will know. You can also use what you learned to reach out to others, using the given codes,” Master Tertia added. “Congratulations, Ignis Scientia, you’re now Prince Noctis’ spymaster.”

Ignis’ ears rang too loud to listen to the short clapping that followed. Which was his graduation ceremony. This was it. In this small underground room in the Citadel, surrounded by these people he still didn’t trust that well, being covered in blood.

“Thank you, I won’t let the family’s values down,” he said at last, bowing to them. He deliberately didn’t say ‘family’ because he had let them down many times before. But the values, those were something Ignis could get behind.

“The real work starts now, Ignis,” Master Promus chuckled as Tertia rolled her shoulders as she left the room. This was it. They were done with Ignis, now they all probably went back to their work.

“I’m sure of it,” Ignis nodded at his Master before turning to leave too. Though he realized he suddenly had no idea how to process what just happened.

“Ignis,” Master Sulla suddenly put her hand on his shoulder as she let him out of the room. “Let me show you the locker room, you can shower there,” she said motioning to the other end of the communication room as she gently pushed Ignis toward that direction, walking with him. “Use the soap, it’ll get rid of the blood quite well and has no scent to it.”

“Thank you,” Ignis muttered a little out of it. But it was good, having short term objectives to do, which were simple enough that he could do them and let his mind rest. “So… so this is it? This was it?” he asked suddenly.

“Yes, you have authority now, and can submit requests to the headquarters. I figured you’d want daily reports delivered to you so I already arranged that, marked it in your schedule too,” Master Sulla spoke.

Ignis stopped in his tracks staring at her.

“You’re the prince’s friend and spymaster,” Master Sulla explained seeing his surprise. “You never looked objectively at this job, and that’s why you’re dangerous. People under you will have a hard time meeting your standards.”

Ignis closed his mouth. Suddenly Sir Foedus’ words echoed inside him: that he could have it all, if he wanted. He could control Noctis if he wanted. Taking over the Kingdom of Lucis, if he wanted.

“King Regis is a good man, and he knows his people. It was the right choice to put you in charge of the prince. Now, go and clean up,” Master Sulla said, squeezing his shoulder before letting go. She already moved to go away, while Ignis was standing there frozen, and maybe a little moved. Maybe with just a little more faith in his master than before.

Then suddenly, she stopped again to address him once more.

“Also… You shouldn’t sleep alone tonight. Just an advice,” she said, quietly. “Ghosts aren’t real, but they still come back to haunt us.”

What she said was so strange that it made Ignis focus again on her, frowning. He parted his lips to ask something, but he just couldn’t. He also realized he was basically just gaping at her all this time.

At that time, Ignis had little idea what that sentiment must have meant. Of course, with having more and more burden on his soul, he had to burn those words into his mind.


	18. Chapter 17

After his very short and very unceremonious graduation ceremony Ignis took a long, long shower, basically burning his skin in hope to get rid of that metallic scent and those stains on his hand, and under his nails. The soap indeed helped, more than anything it could at least get rid of the stains, yet the scent still seemed to remain. Though Ignis knew that it only existed in his mind at that point.

When he finally emerged from the shower it was already the middle of the day. He had missed some of his meetings and chores. There was no teaching at the Academy that day, not that Ignis could have hoped to even go to lessons after this. There were a lot of things to clean up, to pick up, to deal with after an attack like that. Now that Ignis had a bit more power, he decided to assess all the double agents in the Scientia family, he was also proposing the science and magic department to try and address the issue of small daemons being brought through the Wall. Maybe they could help His Majesty bear the weight of the Wall that rate. So Ignis stayed at the Scientia’s headquarters for the day.

It was good to keep busy, even if Ignis hadn’t slept at all since yesterday. But he had a suspicion he won’t be able to anyway. The Scientia headquarters also had a great selection of coffee which was a life saver for Ignis.

Ignis also kept in touch with Noctis through text and calls, trying to calm him down after the Council made the decision that until things will surely be safe in the City the prince has to stay in the Citadel. Ignis knew how frustrated that would make Noctis. He knew. He offered that he could arrange for Prompto to come to the Citadel, so Noctis won’t have to be alone that night. Ignis also promised him that this ‘quarantine’ won’t last longer than one or two days.

It wasn’t that Ignis was that busy to meet Noctis, he always made time to see him. But this time, he just couldn’t look into his eyes. He couldn’t let him catch any of the scent of blood that Ignis’ nose was still stuffed with. Ignis had no strength to meet Noctis in his current state. He was  _ ashamed _ . Even if everything he did was for Noctis, for his safety, yet he couldn’t bear the thought of letting Noctis know that he killed someone for him. He never wanted to put that on the prince’s conscience.

It was already late afternoon when all that happened caught up with Ignis; the daemon, Noctis, Foedus, everything. He felt his hands trembling as he was forcing it to write his report, but in the end he just couldn’t continue. He leaned back in his chair, looking around the communication room at all the members of his family, doing their jobs, looking the same as him: sleep deprived, stressed, but determined. As Ignis was carrying his gaze around the room, he spotted the monitors at the far end. The broadcasts were changing once in a while showing different parts of the Citadel. And the moment Ignis focused on one of the monitors he saw the broadcast switch to the training room. With Gladio there. Though he wasn’t training, just sitting by the wall.

For some reason the sight of Gladio being so still alarmed Ignis. So he decided to put a halt to his work for that day, and see what had happened. He felt a little guilty for not calling the Amicitia other than sending him a text that said good luck, because what else could he say? Gladio must have had his own shit to deal with. Especially after that speech his father told them in his office that morning. Ignis still got two cups of coffee spiced with fine rum and headed to the training rooms.

Entering the training room, Ignis spotted Gladio at the same place he saw on the recording. He looked slightly out of it, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants that could be found in the locker rooms for emergencies. So Gladio didn’t go home?

When Ignis closed the door, Gladio turned his head toward him, his stance changing. He crossed his legs and hid his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, watching as Ignis walked closer. His eyes dropped of the two cups and seemingly swallowed a question. Probably something along the lines of what Ignis was doing there. So Ignis just nodded at him and offered a cup. Gladio hesitated, but in the end he reached for it.

“Thanks,” he muttered, his voice hoarse and tired. Ignis muttered something in return as he was watching him. He looked tired, yet somehow still frustrated. “Will you stay?” he asked.

“I was about to ask if I could,” Ignis said softly. The other sighed, and pat the ground next to himself without saying anything. So Ignis went and sat down. Suddenly, it has gotten quiet. In a strange way. Not awkward, not alarming, but in a soft way. It was like a blanket over Ignis’ shoulders, and it made him let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. “You… were here all day?” he asked when he felt he could.

“Yea’,” came the answer. “I just… Guess I wanted to be alone.”

Which was strange, Ignis thought. Gladio wasn’t Noctis. He got his refill from being with others, from dealing with people, talking, doing things together. It was his relaxation. So Gladio wanting to be alone was slightly alarming.

“You didn’t want to deal with your father?” Ignis tried, looking into his cup before taking a sip. He heard Gladio snort next to him.

“I never do,” he said. With a deep breath through his nose and also drank some of his coffee. “He, uh, so when we were alone he said he was proud of me. Cuz I went with my own decision, blah blah…” Gladio shrugged. “But… fuck, Iggy I…”

“You did the right thing,” Ignis said suddenly. “Confronting that daemon was the best decision. You did it with everything you had and won.”

“We couldn’t have done without you! We- They’d have died without you!” Gladio snapped suddenly, rubbing his face. Ignis turned his head toward him, frowning.

“My help wouldn’t have worth shit if you and your team didn’t act,” he said. “You used everything in your power to go against an enemy you had never encountered before and won. Gladio, you didn’t charge in there without preparations. You had a plan and you executed it.”

Gladio closed his eyes and leaned his head back, gently bumping it against the wall. His mouth was pursed as he seemed to consider Ignis’ words. He didn’t seem entirely convinced, but that was fine. This was something that Gladio indeed had to deal with. Somehow, Ignis could understand. Gladio will always hear his father’s words in his head about authority, responsibility, duty… Ignis knew what that was like. But he also knew that he will be there for Gladio from here on, no matter what.

“I guess I was… I was just terrified,” Gladio whispered suddenly. So quietly he could have said that Ignis just heard the wind or something else. So Ignis didn’t say anything to it, just leaned that short distance between them, bumping his shoulder against Gladio’s. He also knew how it was to be scared. And somehow, hearing Gladio admitting it made his heart ache. “Now I really know what you’ve meant, that time… when you said you can’t do this alone.”

Ignis felt strange to be reminded of the lowest point in his life. Yet, reassuring too.

“Because I can’t do this alone either, Iggy…”

“You don’t have to,” Ignis assured Gladio quietly. He didn’t have to say more. While he couldn’t convince Gladio that he was going to be a good leader, he could convince him of his loyalty to him. Which was also as important.

A long and soft silence followed that statement, during which Ignis just leaned against Gladio, and they slowly drank up their coffee. Ignis had little idea just how much time had passed. But when he realized that they were sitting in the dark, he turned to Gladio once again.

“Want to sleep in my room tonight?” he asked. The other didn’t answer immediately. But in the end Gladio nodded, stuttering a throaty ‘yes’. So Ignis swallowed and stood up, then reached for Gladio. “Come on then.”

Ignis took Gladio’s hand and walked him to his room, feeling like he was caught in some kind of dream. He knew it was most probably sleep deprivation, but he didn’t mind. It felt… calm. It felt good. Something he wanted to cling to. Gladio didn’t look better either, with those dark circles under his eyes and with a face that Ignis was afraid will never smile again.

“Feel yourself at home,” Ignis motioned around the bare room when they entered. Most of his things were already brought to the apartment, only some necessary things remained. The bed was always made, thanks to his Uncle. “Go on, I’ll change.”

With a quiet thanks, Gladio took off his hoodie, revealing that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath and went to claim the bed. Ignis watched him as he laid down on it facing away from him. He was so huge, there was barely any space left on that bed for Ignis. But for some reason, Ignis didn’t mind. So once he changed into a shirt and pajama bottoms he joined him too.

“Gladio,” Ignis called him as he got into bed. “Come here,” he whispered, putting his hand on his shoulder. The Amicitia rolled onto his back, looking at him a little confused. But then Ignis pulled him to him, letting his head lay on his shoulder as he put his arms around his neck. Gladio let out a sigh and nestled into Ignis’ hold, clinging to him and hiding his face against his chest. He was so big and warm, and Ignis wished he would get better soon. That he would feel just how great of a shield he was, despite what anyone said. Ignis wished that Gladio would realize that he can carry the task he was assigned to at birth, and would have no more doubts in himself. But right now, all he could do is to greet him good night, and gently pet his hair until he himself fell asleep too.

\--

The elevator rumbled into a halt after Six knows how long falling. Ignis stumbled on his feet, falling against one of the walls. Only to realize that there was no door. It was just a cube, with golden adorned walls stained with fresh blood from a cut wound. Ignis felt the warmth of the drops falling on him from somewhere. He tried to shield himself with his hands but as he raised them he saw that they were also dripping wet with blood. But how could that be? He took a shower, he cleaned that off! He heard Foedus talk to him, saying something to him, but his ears were ringing and his heart raced and Ignis thought he will suffocate; because with every intake of air, he could smell blood, he could taste it on his tongue and he wanted to gag.

Ignis woke up with a sharp breath stuck in his throat, he coughed and scrambled to sit up, breathing heavily. He held up his hands not wanting to make the sheets bloody, not wanting to make anything more messy than it already was. Probably. He couldn’t see, it was dark, so dark… For a moment he had no idea where he was. Where was he? What was happening? Ignis felt a panic attack threaten him at the border of his sanity, when someone grabbed his first.

“Ignis, what is it? What happened?”

Ignis could recognize Gladio’s voice no matter when and where. He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t speak. It was like something prevented him from doing it. He felt as if he could let out a sound, it would be a scream.

“Blood-” Ignis stuttered at last, looking at his hand Gladio was holding. He couldn’t see it, it was dark, but he could smell it, there was blood there. There must have been! “I need to-”

“There’s nothing!” Gladio said, squeezing his wrist a little.

“There is, I- I can see it, it’s there!” Ignis stuttered, being aware that he’s nearing hysterics. He tried to calm himself, but he just couldn’t. It felt like he couldn’t stop it, he had no strength to. Then he felt something warm against the middle of his palm. It took him a moment to realize they were lips. “No, no no no, it’s dirty!” Ignis gasped, trying to pull his hand away from Gladio.

“It’s not!” Gladio insisted, Ignis feeling his lips moving against his hand before he kissed it again. Ignis attempted to pull away, but Gladio kept at it. He kissed him every time Ignis wanted to pull his hand away. And when he wasn’t fighting anymore, Gladio brushed his lips over his wrist to kiss his skin there too. Then ever so slowly kissing his way up on Ignis’ arm.

It gave Ignis time to ever so slowly, catch his rushing breath, to realize that he was in his room in the Citadel, with Gladio in his bed. He was shivering, his body felt cold and every time Gladio kissed his skin, warmth bloomed upon it. The time he reached his shoulders, and kissed into Ignis’s neck, Ignis realized he didn’t want it to stop.

“It’s okay, Iggy,” Gladio whispered when he reached his ear, kissing at the outer shell of it. He took Ignis’ hand and pressed it to his own naked chest, letting the other feel his warmth.

“You’re- you’re gonna get messy too…” Ignis stuttered, even if he knew with his logical brain that there wasn’t any blood, that it was just a dream.

“That’s fine. I don’t care. ‘S a part of dealing with ya,” Gladio muttered as he nuzzled at Ignis’ cheek. Ignis turned his head to him, seeking his lips with his. He expected their kiss to taste like metal, like blood, but it tasted sweet and warm, just like Gladio. Ignis gave a sound at the back of his throat, cupping the back of Gladio’s head to kiss him with more desperation. He didn’t want to stop, he didn’t want to smell or taste anything other than Gladio. He wanted to feel his warmth, wanted to hold onto him until he gets clean again.

Ignis felt drunk as he was stroking Gladio’s chest, while he was kissing him. He wanted to kiss him fast and sharp, but Gladio grabbed his chin to take charge of the kiss, slowing it down, and deepening it too. It was frustrating, yet satisfying, because Ignis had no strength in him to do that. Gladio took full charge this time. And it got fully obvious when Gladio’s hands slid into Ignis pants to grab him. Ignis arched his back, closing his eyes tightly as the sharp and new pleasure gripped his body with it. He was trembling under Gladio’s touch as he refused to move his hand, just holding him, warming him.

“Wanna have you…” Gladio whispered then, voice hoarse and thick from things Ignis didn’t dare to think about. “Can I?”

“Yes…” Ignis stuttered, his hips bucking up to seek some friction. “There’s…” he panted, his hand motioning toward the nightstand. He hoped there’s still that half full tube of lube he kept there. Gladio’s huge body moved as he reached to open one of the drawers of the bedside table and indeed found the lube.

“There’s no…” he started, but Ignis shook his head. He knew there weren't any condoms.

“It’s fine,” he managed to say.

“You sure?” Gladio asked, leaning closer.

“I’m dirty anyway…” Ignis retorted, but he could barely finish it, because the other kissed him again.

“You’re not,” he whispered and pushed him back down the bed.

The way in which Gladio pulled off Ignis’ shirt was with such tenderness and care that Ignis didn’t feel like he deserved at all. Gladio went slow. Excruciatingly slow. His hands delicately discovered every part of Ignis’ body, just so his lips could follow. Sometimes he took his time at places like Ignis’ collarbone. He also sucked a bruise there as he was preparing Ignis. But Ignis had to admit that it was exactly what he needed; distraction by pleasure, by a kind of pleasure he couldn’t identify at all. Or more like, he didn’t want to.

“This is different…” Ignis couldn’t help to whisper as Gladio grabbed his thighs to spread them.

“Yeah…” Gladio muttered, looking at him. “Want me to stop?”

“No, no…!” Ignis gasped reaching for Gladio to pull him down for a kiss. “Don’t stop, don’t… please,” he begged, as if Gladio would indeed just leave him like this. It wasn’t about the sex, Ignis realized as he felt the other’s hardness press at him, it was so much more than that. As Gladio slid into him, Ignis tensed up. He was so big; bigger than he remembered. It hurt just a little, yet it was enough to make his eyes water. “Gladio…” Ignis heard himself moan, in half pain half pleasure, just to receive a kiss from the other.

“I’m here,” Gladio whispered, cupping Ignis’ cheek as he kissed him again. Then ever so slowly he pulled out, to push back in. It was so slow and deliberate and Ignis knew he was trying to make it as pleasurable for both of them as he could, with the littlest amount of pain. Ignis wanted to call him again, but all his throat let him was a moan mixed with a sob. “Hurts?” Gladio asked right against his ear, worried.

“No, no I’m just…” Ignis really wasn’t sure what was with him. Why was he acting like this? But all he knew he didn’t want Gladio to stop, he wanted him, he wanted his kisses, his pleasure and him to hold him. “I’m just overwhelmed,” Ignis managed to say. He felt Gladio’s lips pull into a smile against his ear.

“First time?” he asked. Ignis felt himself blush. He knew Gladio was joking, yet… Indeed, it felt like a first time, in a way. “You’re in good hands, I got you, Iggy.”

Ignis let out a breath at that. Because he knew that Gladio had his back, that he was in good hands with him, no matter what. His arms slid around Gladio’s broad shoulders as he felt his slow and deep rhythm getting even more intense. Ignis felt his own hardness press against Gladio’s stomach as he moved, the sensation becoming teasing in a way. He was getting wet too, feeling his peak slowly coming around. This was much different than what they did back in that bar, much different than the dreams and fantasies Ignis had. But it was good, it was warm and arousing and overwhelming, making Ignis’ chest tight with the sweetest tension he wouldn’t ever let go of.

“Gladio,” he called him again when Gladio took his hardness into his hot grip. And Ignis’ nails dug into the other’s back when he started to stroke him in time with his thrusts.

“Ignis,” Gladio breathed against his neck kissing at it as he started to increase his pace. “Six, Ignis you feel so good…”

How could Gladio say that, when he was the one that felt heavenly between Ignis’ legs? His thighs went numb as Gladio was taking him, brushing over his sweet spot with utmost care, making Ignis see white for a moment. His hand stroking Ignis’ cock sometimes squeezing just at the right time, at the right spot, wiping the precum off his tip. His lips seemingly not having enough of Ignis skin kissing him wherever they could, making Ignis moan out of pleasure as all he could do was hold onto Gladio.

Ignis’ pleasure shook him so suddenly he could barely do anything. His hips moved on their own, chasing the waves of pleasure, wanting more and more, his grip on Gladio’s back trembled as he was trying to hold on. Ignis was only half aware that he was moaning loudly, and that his hands were searching a grip on Gladio’s back, clawing at his skin.

“Shit, you’re so honest in your pleasure, Iggy…” Gladio muttered. Ignis wasn’t sure what that could mean. He just tried to catch his breath before he leaned up to kiss Gladio again.

“Show me yours too,” he said. “Take me.”

“Astrals, you almost made me cum just by saying that,” Gladio groaned as he attempted to move away. Ignis put his legs around him to prevent him.

“I told you it’s fine, I want to feel you, Gladio,” he breathed, stroking the other’s chest. The Amicitia hesitated once again, looking at him.

“Okay,” he grunted, breathless as kissed Ignis again, before tilting his head to kiss into his neck. “You smell so good, Ignis,” he started as he snapped his hips against the other. “You taste so good, so good Iggy… “ he moaned as he started to take Ignis at his own pace. It was wilder and faster than before, and Ignis could feel a slight tremble in Gladio’s movements too.

“You’re so good to me, Gladio,” Ignis started suddenly, placing his hands on the sides of Gladio’s neck. “I love it when you touch me,” he whispered, wanting the other to know.

“Ignis…” Gladio said in a warning tone, burying his face into Ignis’ neck. His pace was massive at this point, and he put his arms around Ignis’ waist to be able to slide into him with more force. Hints of pleasure still tore into Ignis at the sensation, but he was too spent to come once again, yet he knew if Gladio would keep this up after a while he could do it. But maybe that should be for a different time.

“You’re all I need,” Ignis dared to say, clinging to Gladio as if his life depended on it. At that point Gladio’s pace became erratic, his voice became lower and thicker as he was calling Ignis’ name and said sweet nothings. He came hard, snapping his hips against Ignis’, breeding him deep and well, almost shamefully so. Even after he came, he couldn’t move and Ignis didn’t tell him to either. They were both just trying to breathe.

When Gladio finally moved he pushed himself up with sluggish movements, watching himself pull out. Ignis was about to ask what was he doing when he felt his fingers against his wet entrance again, sliding in. Ignis shivered at the pleasure and the implication of what that movement meant. Gladio was possessive and Ignis found it appealing.

“ _ Now _ you’re dirty,” Gladio said, trying to joke, but his voice was low and thick as he looked at Ignis. His eyes roamed all over his body, taking in the bruises he sucked into Ignis’ fair skin, at the mess he made of Ignis, and oh Six, Gladio loved it. And Ignis loved that expression.

“I want to do it again,” Ignis whispered as he reached out to grab Gladio’s wrist, while his fingers were still inside him. “Ten minutes?” he asked.

“Make it five,” Gladio answered, his eyes dangerously dark.

The way Gladio’s skin warmed up under Ignis’ touches, under his lips and tongue, pressed against his body, was an addictive sensation. The sounds he made against his lips, or his ears, or muffled by Ignis’ skin was better than any melody Ignis had heard before. The taste of his skin on Ignis’ tongue was still burning and sweet, doing things to him, making him remember that he was alive. And for some reason, whenever Gladio’s fingers slid on the back of Ignis’ neck, he felt like he belonged, he felt like he was claimed, even if it was the one thing they couldn’t exactly do.

Ignis wasn’t sure how long he was sleeping when he heard his phone sound his alarm. He groaned softly, as his pillow moved under his head, making him realize that it wasn’t a pillow, but Gladio.

“You always up this early?” Gladio asked, his voice rough with sleep as he held up Ignis’ phone to put the alarm to snooze.

“Yeah,” Ignis sighed, and put his head back on Gladio’s chest as he laid back down. “I have to go,” he added, partly to himself. “You can stay here until you have to be up, but I-”

“No,” Gladio started, putting his arms around Ignis. Ignis just blinked, then sighed.

“Gladio…” he warned.

“Shut up, this time I wanna walk out on you, ‘kay? It’s my turn now. You gonna let me have that,” the other insisted. Ignis frowned, considering. Somehow, Gladio was right. But it was relieving that however possessive Gladio was in bed, he still knew they can’t have this. That they can’t have more than this. “And first, we talk. Because I won’t walk away without knowing you’re good. I’m not gonna repeat what happened last time.”

“Gladio, this isn’t like last time,” Ignis tried. But the sentiment still felt nice, that no matter what Gladio took care of him.

“Did you kill someone, Ignis?” the Amicitia asked without any ceremony. Ignis felt his body freeze, and he also felt Gladio’s arms holding him tighter to his chest.

“Yes,” Ignis answered, his lips brushing against Gladio’s skin as he moved his head.

“Who?”

“I can’t say.”

The silence that followed was slightly uncomfortable. Ignis knew Gladio wanted to ask, to demand the answer, he probably contemplated if it was worth it.

“For Noct?” he asked at last.

“For Noct,” Ignis nodded. He felt one of Gladio’s hands move to cup the back of his head, his fingers gently sliding into his messy hair to cradle him. Then he moved to kiss his forehead.

“This is the first secret you keep from me,” he muttered quietly, a little preoccupied.

“As if you don’t have some of your own,” Ignis huffed.

“Mm, only one that matters,” Gladio retorted. Then he fell silent for a moment before he asked: “You gonna tell Noct?” His lips still pressed against Ignis’ forehead.

“Never,” Ignis said without hesitation. Then shifted to try and push himself up. “I need to get ready,” he said, looking into the other’s face. Gladio just sighed, looking at him. And Ignis saw that he wasn’t done talking. Somehow, that expression on Gladio made his heart ache. “You should go,” Ignis tried. Gladio just pursed his lips and looked away, almost like he was sulking and slowly shifted to sit up. Ignis thought that would be it, but then he still said it.

“I don’t understand why we can't… be a thing,” he muttered.

Ignis sighed. The answer to that was so complex, so painful too, that he had no idea where he should start.

“One day you’re going to give an heir to the Amicitia family line,” Ignis decided it was the easiest to start with the most obvious reason.

“But not now, we could still…” Gladio said, looking at him.

“No,” Ignis frowned. “I’m not going to be someone you fool around with until you need to have a family.”

Gladio huffed angrily, looking at Ignis as if he just insulted his whole being. Maybe he did, but Ignis wouldn’t have taken those words back at all. He didn’t want to be a second someone. A hidden lover of Gladiolus Amicitia. Not with the boy already having his heart.

“You’ll be fine, Gladio,” Ignis continued softly as he sat up, feeling his whole body ache. It was more bearable than that sudden, dull pain in his chest at least.

“Will you?” the other asked then, his hand sliding up on Ignis’ naked back. Ignis sighed. He could lie, of course, but lying to Gladio never did any good.

“As long as we’re in this together, I will be,” he said, looking at the other. “I just need to know you have my back.”

Gladio smiled a little, maybe even sadly as his hand stroked up on Ignis’ neck.

“Always, Iggy,” he said softly. Ignis wondered that even if he was the one setting boundaries, he so wanted to kiss Gladio goodbye. But he knew that would go against everything they just set between them. Another goodbye. Somehow harder than the one before.

Gladio’s movements were slow as he got out of that small bed to get his clothes, still half asleep. He didn’t look at Ignis as he did, maybe being afraid that he would go back to him. Yet, Ignis couldn’t look away. Gladio was slowly growing up, putting on muscle and having broader shoulders by the years. Growing taller. Ignis wondered if all he felt was just physical, but when Gladio was dressed and finally turned to look at him, his heart made that stupid little flutter in his chest.

No, it wasn’t just physical, Ignis wondered. Even if he wasn’t educated on the subject of the heart, he could still tell…

“Yeah, uh, see you around,” Gladio said, awkwardly.

“Yes, see you later,” Ignis nodded, watching as the other left the room. Somehow, Ignis was sure that the next time he would see Gladio he already had someone by his side. Someone easier to bear than him. He wanted to keep Gladio near him, and he needed to keep him at a distance for that. Because if not, then Gladio realizes he was a weird, heavy burden, just like Gracilius did. And Ignis couldn’t bear that.


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer wait. I caught up with what I already had written so the next few chapters are still cooking. I plan about 5 more chapters to this story.
> 
> Thank you all for reading this, it means a lot to me! ^^

From time to time Ignis went to the Glaive Headquarters to personally take some reports. He liked to do that just so he can check on the overall feeling of the Glaives. Sometimes the mood there spoke more than a thousand reports. And this time, the mood wasn’t entirely the best. Ignis knew it could be connected to the recent activity of the Empire. He read it in a report not yet submitted to the Council that Galahd had suffered yet another attack, though he had no time to go over the details of it just yet. Even though, he couldn’t help, but feel concerned when he’d seen the state Nyx had stormed off the training grounds.

“Nyx!” Ignis called after the glaive when he realized he didn’t notice him. Nyx stumbled to a halt, twirling around to check who called for him, apparently ready for a fight.

“Oh, it’s you,” the Glaive sighed, a little relieved, rubbing at his eyes. Ignis hurried over to him, so he could talk to him in a lower voice.

“I’ve… heard about the attack on Galahd,” he started. Nyx turned his gaze upwards, appearing in a bit of conflict with himself.

“Of course you did,” he grumbled then. Though Ignis knew he wasn’t angry at him, but probably at Niflheim, and maybe a little at himself.

“I’m on lunch break now, so I have a little time, if you want to talk,” Ignis offered.

“Yeah, talking never really solved anything,” Nyx shrugged, looking at him. Though then he deflated a little. “Sorry, didn’t want to be rude, but it’s just…” he started, seemingly trying to find the words. “It feels, you know, as if the Empire’s stopped fooling around and now they are actually serious to go against Lucis, against all of us.”

Ignis frowned, wondering how Nyx once again hit bullseye even if he didn’t know it. The Scientias had received reports from all over Eos that the Empire is charging up, testing new weapons, sending new agents… Though none of that was official. But Nyx who had to be deployed on the front lines more than once could feel it. Because of course he could. Ignis wished he could tell something encouraging to him, something that would make him stop frowning and smile that smile again Ignis had a crush on a few years back.

“I do hope you’re doing okay, kid,” Nyx started suddenly.

“Oh, I am, thank you for asking,” Ignis blinked. The glaive chuckled a little.

“Yeah you look good, Sctientia, so just keep up whatever it is you’re doing,” he motioned all over him. “I uh, I’m gonna go kick some recruits’ asses, but you have a good lunch. Maybe we can talk later,” Nyx continued and as he turned he halted suddenly. “And thanks for wanting to help,” he added and hurried away.

With a sigh, Ignis just watched him go, wishing he could help the man more. But matters outside the Wall were indeed so far away and so intricate that Ignis had no hope to mingle in them from the city. The Council also didn’t exactly pay much attention to Galahd, the only reason it was still standing because of the fights the locals put up. People there were the most passionate and loyal people Ignis had ever known. Sometimes he felt bad for not being able to get to know them more, only through Nyx and his friend Libertus. Though maybe… Maybe when Noctis will be king, he’ll be able to do something about it.

Noctis who had indulged in school life deeper and more intense than before. He actually liked to go to school, though not because of learning, it was mostly to get away from the reality of his life; that he was a prince. A prince who will have to take over his father’s duties, and probably a war. Even if Ignis heard His Majesty say that he’ll end this war before Noctis takes his place.

Ignis admitted that the timing may not have been the best to try and remind Noctis that he will have to focus on his duties too along with his studies. But war was never coming ‘at the right time’ either. They had a huge fight about it, Noctis screaming at him that he doesn’t want to talk about this and seemingly trying to just brush off all Ignis told him about the state of Lucis, Niflheim and his father and spend his time at arcades with Prompto. At once point, Ignis got why he wanted that, however, on the other hand, Ignis had hoped Noctis would at least have a bit of sense of duty to try and act as a prince…

The fight they had however, reminded him of the one before, the one about Prompto that turned into a huge mess. Ignis didn’t want to repeat his mistake and it bothered him to no end as to how to proceed here. Thankfully, this time he had help in the person of Gladio. The Amicitia seeked him out after training, apparently Noctis went to visit him.

“Give him a little more credit than that,” Gladio said, when Ignis expressed his concerns about not being able to tell what Noctis was thinking. “It’s just how you used to say, he’s a bit slow sometimes,” he added when Ignis didn’t answer.

“I- yes, I suppose I was just a little…” Ignis started, but not finishing that sentence. Maybe he’d gotten a little impatient. A little scared, too. A war was coming, a real one, and he wanted Noctis to be ready for it.

“Well, Noct was too,” Gladio sighed, crossing his arms as he looked away. Ignis wondered if he said his thoughts out loud... “His old man’s dying after all. No wonder he’s on edge.”

Ignis took the towel from around his neck to tap at his mouth, wiping off some sweat from training. He frowned in thought. Yes, His Majesty had taken to a cane lately, and lost the ability to summon weapons. He’s getting weaker. Maybe Niflheim knew that too. It made Ignis have a mental note on checking on double agents and suspicious activity again. Then he realized he was silent for a while, raising his eyes at Gladio who was staring at him for Six knows how long.

“Why didn’t he tell me that?” Ignis wondered out loud. “About his father?”

“Maybe he thought you understood,” Gladio shrugged. “Anyone with a father would get how shitty it must feel... to know that your dad’s dying.”

Sometimes Gladio said such insensitive things that Ignis wanted to slap him. Though, most of those things were right.

“Are you saying I don’t get it?” he asked.

“No, well, yes,” Gladio rubbed the back of his neck a little nervously. “You get it in a different way I guess,” he added. “But not in the way Noct does.” 

Gladio may be right, Ignis wondered. He did not consider this to be a factor in Noctis’ frustrations, he was only looking at this in a political way. He was regarding Noctis as a prince, and not as a boy with a dying father. Suddenly he felt guilty about pushing Noctis that much, when he was suffering from the thought of his only family dying. Suddenly Ignis remembered the nights when it was only His Majesty who could calm Noctis after a nightmare. His Uncle’s words were echoing in his memories: sometimes it’s not about the words, but about the people who say them.

“I should apologize to him,” Ignis sighed at last, happy that now he at least saw clear in this. “Thank you, Gladio.”

“You never knew your dad, right?” Gladio asked instead of leaving. Ignis looked at him, figuring that yes most people in the Citadel knew that he was an orphan so why wouldn’t Gladio.

“I was a found child, yes.”

“So you were not wanted?”

Ignis gaped for a second.

“I don’t- I don’t know,” he stuttered, setting his glasses. Somehow that hit a cord inside him that he didn’t know he was carrying. “But I have a…” he started, but cut himself off.  _ Mother _ ? Suddenly, talking about family like this stirred something inside him that he wasn’t ready to handle right now. Not like this. So he just cleared his throat and looked at Gladio again. “Thank you for helping with Noct, I really appreciate it. I need to get ready now.” He excused himself and went to change, maybe with a bit faster steps than it was necessary.

The next time he went to see Noct all he wanted to do was to apologize. Just to find that Noctis was trying to cook for himself and he checked the reports Ignis had submitted to him. It gave Ignis hope. It wasn’t just him who didn’t want to repeat what happened before. But Noctis too. ‘Give him a little more credit’ Gladio said, and Ignis will do just that.

Looking at Noctis as a son of the king changed some things in Ignis; now that he was a bit more experienced he saw it. A few things got more clear, even about Gladio: family, especially blood related family was something else. For Ignis, family was a battlefield, a chore, a job, but for others it meant something entirely else. While Gladio also had to deal with his family being appointed as the King’s shield, it was still his father by blood who raised him. It may make things more complicated, Ignis wondered. As for Noctis, his father was always comfort, always one to run to; the one who saved him from monsters and could explain things. Noctis felt the love of his father and he loved him back, and he was terrified of losing it all. Of course. 

Ignis wondered how it would have been like that: being raised in a family related to him. With a father, a mother and maybe a sister or a brother. Would things be different? Though, the closest he could even imagine having a mother was Matrona. Because she kind of was, even if she never wanted to be called that, nor Aunt. But then who was she, Ignis couldn’t help but wonder. Everyone had a mother and a father, why didn't he? His Uncle always told him that it’s not productive to think about these things, this time he just couldn't let it go. Was he not wanted…?

Ignis wasn’t sure why it would make a difference, if he was wanted or not. But maybe some tension in his chest would let go, if he knew. If he knew what had happened, where he was from, what was his family like… His first thought was to go to his Uncle, as always he did when he had thoughts about family. But he always got the same answer: it’s not productive to think about. He won’t have answers to these questions, no matter how hard he tried. And Ignis knew he shouldn’t do that. Yet, ever since Gladio asked him if he was wanted, he couldn’t let that go. So Ignis decided to go straight to Matrona, no matter how insane that thought was.

“Would you like me to go with you?” his Uncle asked a bit worried.

“No, it’s dangerous outside the Wall these times, I think it’s better if I go alone,” Ignis said. It wasn’t just that, he wanted to talk to Matrona alone. Even if he had no idea what he would ask her about. So he assured his Uncle that he will be fine, though he dropped a text to Gladio and Nyx that he will be outside the Wall for some personal matters, just to make sure that if anything happens his body will be brought back at least.

The drive was surprisingly calm after Ignis managed to get out of the City by the Eastern gates, toward the mountains. As the morning blue sky opened to him he realized this was the first time he was outside the wall since he was a child. But it felt like the first time. The blue was so much bluer than inside the city. While he was heading for the mountains, the scenery grew wide and free, to the point where his hands started to tremble. It was just so huge and wild out there and for a moment, he felt more respect for the Scientia agents working with hunters; this was a whole different world out here.

The ride wasn’t that long, but it was tiring, taken that Ignis had to pass unfamiliar territory, even if he had received word that no suspicious activity was happening on this part of the island. There was no point to it after all. Not yet. That’s why they haven’t pulled back their agents from here. Though, Ignis wondered if they would call Matrona back to the city for safety, or if she would come at all… He still hasn't checked her files, it felt too personal, even if he knew some things would make sense in regards to her. And yet, Ignis hesitated to read about the woman from old papers.

As Ignis arrived at the house they called the Passing Home and saw the gates slightly ajar, he realized why he didn’t want to read up about Matrona: because he didn’t want to know her as a Scientia, but as… something else. The thought was so sudden and so overwhelming that Ignis didn’t get out of his car immediately, just watched the gates he had left twelve years ago. He was four then, now he was nearing his seventeenth birthday, the birthday date he had received from the woman he was about to visit.

With a sigh, Ignis finally gathered enough strength to get out of the car and walk to the gates. He stepped to them, noting they haven’t aged well. All those storms and dry summers started to chip at the strong wooden frames, making the markings of the huge doors the same color as the fractured wood under them. It didn’t seem like a place anyone would live in, but Ignis knew better. He knew that this place was the home of a damaged woman, and all the old folk she decided to help toward death. It was a Passing House, it didn’t have to look appealing for the living.

Ignis opened the gates and walked into the messy garden. The path that led up to the house was covered by overgrown flora, hiding some flowers and rare plants around too. Matrona sometimes tended to it, but not regularly. Only when she felt like it. Ignis felt his chest tighten for some reason. As if the ghosts that haunted the place came to greet him. Swallowing to wet his dry throat, Ignis started to walk the path he knew more by memory than anything. He didn’t make an effort to be quiet or invisible, so when he arrived at the porch, Matrona was already waiting for him.

“Oh,” she mumbled when she truly realized who she was facing. Her eyes took Ignis in, from his face through his body, to his clothes. Ignis now knew what that gaze meant; his own must have looked the same. It was the gaze of a spy, taking in every little detail. He wondered what she saw; if she saw how tired he was to fight his own family, if she saw that Ignis had taken a person’s life… Did she see all that? “You got tall,” Matrona summed at last.

Ignis’ felt his shoulders tense. If she saw anything, she would never tell.

She was never big for courtesies, greetings, and useless words. She had no intention of speaking anything without reason and Ignis could respect that. Because he was born in this house, he was alive because this woman decided to take him under her roof and raise him until she could. During his time in the Citadel, Ignis also learned that Matrona was well respected among the Scientias. People barely dared to mention her name, or when they did it was with fear and respect. People told Ignis that the family had a similarly talented person in their ranks and that was Matrona. Then there was his Uncle, who talked about Matrona the same way he mentioned his dead brother. He never said it out loud, but Casamus had considered Matrona as a sister of his. Once or twice he even joked that he was Ignis’ aunt.

And then, there was Ignis, who had been raised by her.

Ignis had no words for her, only questions he hoped she would answer. But suddenly, he thought it was selfish to put that burden on her for some reason. So he was just standing there, his lips trembling from words he couldn’t find. Matrona then straightened her back a little, as she was eying him once again. Ignis wondered if this is how others felt when he looked at them. Did they feel this exposed? But this time, he welcomed it, because he couldn’t exactly explain why he was here. Maybe Matrona could.

“Come in, let’s have some tea,” she said quietly, pulling her old, pale shawl tighter around her shoulders.

Suddenly, Ignis felt like he was four years old again, living in a place he could barely understand, living with people that were about to die, living with a caretaker who would never hold his hand, but gave him food and shelter and a chance. The house was quiet, yet Ignis could tell that there were people around who they kept to themselves. They kept quiet. Waiting. Passing.

Ignis remembered where the kitchen was, where the cups were and how to prepare the tea. The kitchen was clean, it was always the cleanest and most cared for in the house after all. It was the only place Matrona tidied daily. Sometimes multiple times a day. Even during late night, early morning, whenever she felt like it.

They had no words for each other, they weren’t needed. Ignis knew that words could overwhelm her, and he also felt a bit overwhelmed himself. He wondered if it was a mistake to come here, but he still made the tea, and still followed Matrona back to the porch to sit down and drink it.

Ignis sat next to her, facing the garden, blank and unable to think of anything to say. He held his cup in his hand, looking over the gates, remembering his last day here. How scared he was. He thought there was nothing behind those gates, that the car would drive into nothing and he would disappear forever. He was so scared he cried and begged to be able to come back. And now, he is back… But the reading book he took was back at the Citadel, resting in the drawer of his desk as his most precious possession. The thought made him huff a little, looking into his cup.

“I…” he started softly, slowly finding the words. “I came to see you,” he concluded. “I wanted to know if… I wanted to know…” Ignis stuttered again, shutting his lips when he couldn’t muster up anything further. ‘ _ Were you not wanted? _ ’ he heard Gladio ask again in his memories. But what kind of question was that? To ask of a damaged, old lady?

“I still have that basket you came in, with the shirt you were bundled up with,” Matrona answered. Anyone else would have thanked Ignis for visiting, or said he shouldn’t have bothered to visit, but Matrona went for that. Without any useless words and gestures. “I washed it. Now it’s not smelly. I patched it up, too. But it’s still ugly.”

Ignis felt like he was frozen by a spell. Why would Matrona keep those things? Those were just things… Just. Things. She always said that to everything. Nothing really had meaning, nothing was special. And yet she kept the very first things Ignis owned?

Ignis had no idea why, but his chest hurt again. More than ever. More than anything. He couldn’t look at the woman sitting next to him, just glanced over the unkept, dying garden in front of them. The cherry tree Matrona always planned to cut back seemed like she never got around to it. Now it was dying with the rest of the life here.

“Thank you,” Ignis couldn’t help but say. He knew Matrona wasn’t up for gratitude, but he still said it. Because he was grateful. Even if the basket and that shirt that probably resembled more to a rag to be thrown out, she still kept them. Her, who have never kept anything useless. “For wanting me,” Ignis added.

“You sweet child,” Matrona spoke quietly. “You were always wanted.” Ignis finally turned his gaze at her, eyes wide. She didn’t look at him, but at the gates, seemingly preoccupied as she was talking. “You were wanted so much that they had to give you up to live. They wanted you to live, my boy. No one would’ve given their clothes and their only basket to a child they didn’t want.”

Ignis felt like the temperature dropped suddenly. His limbs went cold, his throat dry. All the sounds of birds drowned out as Matrona spoke.

“You may not be like those people there. You may have green eyes of distant lands that see too much. Your life may have started rough and dangerous, you may have a fate worse than kings, but you were still wanted. Let no one tell you otherwise,” Matrona said, with her back held straight, her voice clear, her eyes looking at the gates. For a moment, Ignis could see the spymaster in her; under those old, tattered clothes, hiding behind unkept, greying hair, it was still there. “You wanted to live, too. You survived a storm, screaming and crying, demanding to live, demanding to be wanted. You were born again in a storm, Ignis. So you became one.”

“I don’t… understand,” Ignis frowned, hating how his voice shuddered. His throat was thick, his breath was heavy in his lungs.

“It was after a stormy night you were found,” Matrona said, motioning toward the gates. “Out there all night, crying. It’s still with you.”

Ignis didn’t answer. All Matrona said somehow made sense in a way he couldn’t put his finger on it. It didn’t make sense in his head, but in his heart. At the place that always hurt a bit, ever since he was alive. But this time, it eased up, just a little.

He was wanted. It was just more difficult for others to express that. Or even impossible to some degree. But he was wanted. He had people who raised him, who gave him a chance, people who gave him duty. Who made choices for him that made him the person he became. Matrona wanted the best for him, even if it was scary, even if she knew it was full of suffering. Ignis couldn’t have known if Matrona trusted he would be able to bear and overcome the shackles the family put on his shoulders, but maybe she had hope. Hope, somehow she still had for him, for a small few years old little child who learned the ABC from an elder’s song, and who couldn’t see further than his nose. She had hope, probably faith in him. Maybe for herself too.

Casamus took over from her, helping her and Ignis too along the way, and what a help he became to him. Ignis trusted him the most in the family and he was also the one who helped him talk to Matrona, helping them keep in touch even if both Ignis and Matrona were a bit clumsy when it came to interactions at the beginning.

Ignis may not have a father, or a mother, but he had Matrona, Casamus, even His Majesty. He may not have a brother or sister, but he had Noctis. And that was enough. He knew how family was, with everything a family could offer; with all the happy times, with all the suffering, everything. Ignis had a family.

He wondered if Matrona had ever thought about him as family. But somehow, her saying she kept the basket, and his first possessions made Ignis believe that with all her damaged soul, she thought of him as someone close to her. And that should be enough.

After finishing his tea, Ignis had helped Matrona clean up the cups and the counter too. He knew that she’ll probably come back to clean it again. And again, but he still wanted to help her this time. They didn’t talk about anything else, there was no need, there was no point. She said everything she wanted and heard everything she needed. Even if Ignis was trying to find something to say, but couldn’t.

The drive back to the Crown City felt good, like a nap. Ignis’ heart was swelling with emotions that were new and heavy, but not painful. Not in the way they usually were. The drive back gave him a little time to relax, yet as he got back to the Crown City, he felt exhausted. He went back to his office and thought about taking some files and going back to his apartment to work, when he’d gotten a text from Noctis. It said ‘ _ EMERGENCY call me when u can!!!!! _ ’

For a moment, Ignis froze on the spot. What could have happened? He received all the reports for that day, Noctis wasn’t in danger, there was no emergency report from either the Glaives, or Crownsguards, or the Scientias. Then what in Eos could be it? He immediately called Noctis back, his fingers cold from suspense.

The emergency was that Prompto was kicking Noctis’ ass in Mario Kart and that they are also lacking food and Noctis talked so much about Ignis’ mini burgers that now they don't want to eat anything else. Ignis wondered if he should go, taken he felt emotionally tired, but he could never say no to Noctis, especially when he was asking for food. So he assured them he’ll be there shortly and that Noct should drift more.

In an hour Ignis was walking into Noctis’ apartment, hearing the yells from the living room. Mario Kart indeed got intense, however, as he noted it wasn’t just Prompto over, but…

“Good evening,” Ignis blinked at the guests as he walked into the living room to greet them. The heads turned toward him from the couch at the same time: Noctis, Prompto and Gladio. Ignis wondered for just a second how come Gladio was here too, when Prompto greeted him.

“Hey, Specs!” he said with the biggest grin Ignis had ever seen on a human person. But that wasn’t a big thing, no one ever grinned in the Citadel.

“I’ll get to dinner, then,” Ignis said and moved to bring the groceries to the kitchen. He was so out of it he didn’t even comment on the new nickname Prompto got for him. Though he heard Noctis ask back ‘Specs?’ just so Prompto would say something. But Ignis focused more on food for now. He wondered if it was a good idea to come, when he was still a bit raw from what happened outside the Wall. He started working, sorting the groceries, preparing the ingredients and the meat especially, barely listening to the voices coming from the living room. And it was fine. But then the one who approached was Gladio.

“Hey, everything’s good?” he asked, walking next to him. His voice was low and soft, and concerned. Ignis sent him a short look before he turned back to making the small meat patties and placing them on the tray. 

“Yes,” he said, but then addressed Gladio again. “How come you’re here too?”

“Noct sent me a text, saying it’s an emergency,” Gladio groaned, rubbing his face. “I get here, ready to take on some beast or daemon, whatever, and then he tells me he needed someone worse in Mario Kart than him. That brat.”

Ignis, however tired he was, couldn’t help his soft chuckle. It was indeed such a Noctis thing to do, however…

“He told me it’s an emergency too,” he said smiling. “Do you think something’s up?” he added quietly, looking up at Gladio. The other just crossed his arms, looking over his shoulder for a moment, thinking.

“We’re gonna have to see, huh,” he mused a bit worried.

“You’re right,” Ignis nodded. “Go back to play, food will be ready a bit later,” he added, nudging Gladio with his elbow. The boy nodded and brushed his fingers over his forearm, before he went back to Noct and Prompto.

The night went on as usual, Ignis providing immense amounts of mini-burgers, trying to pack them with vegetables, just so they could end up on Prompto’s and his plate. They were playing Mario Kart and Mario Party, just so Prompto could beat everyone and Gladio could complain how stupid this is and that he could kick all their asses in the training room. Though when the mess on the table got too unbearable for Ignis, he collected some of the plates and utensils and went to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. He was also thinking about leaving, he still had some work to do…

“Are you leaving?” Noctis asked suddenly when Ignis carried the plates back to the kitchen.

“Ah, soon, I should, yes,” Ignis nodded.

“Aw, but we just talked about having a Just Dance competition!” Prompto pouted. “I wanted Iggy to dance to the chocobo song,” he added, just to have Gladio laugh out loud.

Noctis didn’t say anything, just got up from the couch to hurry after his retainer.

“You should stay,” he said. Ignis frowned at him as he put the plates down the counter. Noctis was acting a little strange, bolder than usual. “We can play all night, and there are snacks and you can sleep in my bed.”

“Is everything alright, Noctis?” Ignis couldn’t help to ask, just to see the boy getting flustered. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how.

“Yeah, ‘s fine, I think you should just stay and play with us…” Noctis shrugged, looking away. Ignis sighed, putting his hand on his waist as he was thinking.

“Noct…” he muttered, when he heard Prompto exclaim about something. Gladio hummed, but Ignis was more focused on Noctis. He wanted to tell him he can’t stay, but then he heard the sky rumble so loud it shook the glass in the windows. Ignis’ words got stuck in his throat.

There was a storm coming, Ignis realized as he turned to look toward the windows. In that moment, Noctis stepped to him and put his arms around him. It was suddenly overwhelming, even if they weren’t strangers when it came to touching. At the next flash of lighting, and the following rumble, Ignis moved his arms to grab onto Noctis too, almost as if in a panic. The lights went out at the same time, but Ignis didn’t move just held onto Noctis tighter.

Ignis heard Prompto yell in surprise, but Noctis’ heartbeat against his alarmed one was louder than any other noise. Noctis wasn’t afraid of storms. Ignis wasn’t either. It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t. Yet he kept holding onto Noctis, with his throat tightening. 

Noctis kept hugging him when the lights came back a few moments later, and Ignis wasn’t about to let go either.

“I’ll stay,” he said finally, muttered into Noctis’ hair, weakly and hoarse. Noctis didn’t say anything just nodded, his face hidden by Ignis’ neck. “I’ll stay,” Ignis repeated a bit louder, for himself too. “I promised.”

When Noctis pulled away, he took Ignis’ hand and led him back to the others, and Ignis let him. The plates could wait. They sat back on the couch, holding hands all through the rumble from outside as Prompto set up the game. Suddenly Ignis felt ten years old again, reading picture books to Noctis, and sleeping in his bed, holding his hand. Listening to the storm raging outside and not being alone anymore. But this time, there were others around. There wasn’t silence that countered the storm, but loud friendly bickering and music from a game. Noctis didn’t let go of his hand for a long time.

In the end, they all ended up passing out in the living room, Ignis on the couch jammed between Noctis and Prompto, holding onto the prince with one arm. He was the last one to be awake, but slowly, sleep was claiming him too as he was listening to the slow breathing around him.

“So you were the emergency,” Ignis heard suddenly, coming from Gladio who was trying to get comfortable in the armchair across from them. Ignis didn’t speak, just opened one eye to try to look at the other in the darkness. “Noctis knows you get weird around storms,” Gladio chuckled softly and tired.

Ignis smiled. It felt strange to have such attention toward him, and yet, he never felt warmer. Just when he realized he does have a family, they came to drill it into his thick head too, that he was not alone. And that he was wanted and he will be wanted in the future too, by these people around him.


	20. Chapter 19

Ignis has attended Gladio’s graduation ceremony, even if it cost him a few work hours. But he wanted to be there either way. He wanted to watch as Gladio graduated with the rest of the seniors and received the honorable student title of the Academy with a few others. All those people had helped Gladio when the attack on Crown City happened a few months back and Ignis approved of them being honored. He also knew he himself would never receive that medal for various reasons, but that was fine, he had gotten his own prize instead. He was a graduated Spymaster and truly he had never wanted to become anything more. So watching Gladio finishing a chapter in his life that would bring him closer to his goal filled Ignis with pride too.

After graduation, Gladio had become much busier. Suddenly, he was invited to more council meetings and to meetings with his father and Captain Drautos. He had also taken up training with Marshal Cor Leonis. Ignis had known these things, because a bit selfishly he had requested news to be delivered to him about Gladio’s days at the Citadel, however, never outside of it. His private life was his to have, and truly, Ignis didn’t want to hear about a new girl by his side every month. Even if he wondered if Gladio would be a bit more serious about taking someone steady to carry on the Amicitia title now that he graduated.

Ignis has not been idle either. Now, that he had more control over his time, he could actually keep a few friends with benefits. Because as it turned out sex was a great stress relief. His partners weren’t like Gladio, or Gracilius, they were more controllable, more interested in having sex than anything else and Ignis didn’t mind as long as his needs were met. And he made sure they did. He had no time to afford anything more than that, and he didn’t really plan to. The more he was working the more it became clear that his whole life will be spent by Noctis’ side, dedicated to him and no one else.

Taking care of Noctis also meant taking care of his friends. So while Ignis made sure that Noctis ate his vegetables, he did not forget Prompto either. Prompto constantly had to be reminded to take breaks between training and get some sleep once in a while. Ignis also visited Iris frequently, baking together on a few occasions or shopping together. Meanwhile listening to all that happened to her at school and sometimes even hearing her talking about Gladio, or complaining…

“Glady isn’t playing with me anymore,” Iris pouted as they were preparing cupcakes. It was supposed to be for a party one of her classmates will hold the next day.

“He must be busy with his duties,” Ignis smiled a little sad. He felt bad instead of Gladio, that he apparently couldn’t spend as much time with his sister as he probably wanted. Iris was everything to Gladio and while she was completely capable of protecting herself, she still wanted them to spend time together at least.

“I know, dad tells me that too,” Iris sighed, pouting as he put some sprinkles on the cupcake in front of her. “I thought he’s gonna play with me during the summer, but he’s getting grumpier since he graduated.”

Ignis hummed a little, looking at her as he was mixing the next batch of muffins to bake by the counter. His kitchen was too small for this amount of cupcakes, so they had to make them at the Amicita residence. Also, as if Sir Clarus Amicitia would let Iris visit a Scientia alone. Ignis didn’t mind either, he liked this house, he liked the feel of it; it felt like a home. Especially when they were baking something with Iris, it was very cozy. Jared wasn’t allowed in the kitchen during these times and Ignis always made sure they cleaned up afterwards. Sometimes Gladio and Sir Amicita arrived back home while Iris and Ignis were still preparing the dessert and those times Ignis could even stay for dinner, too.

“I think he’s getting sadder too,” Iris added quietly, as if she was afraid someone would hear her. Even if neither Sir Amicitia or Gladio was around that afternoon. Ignis frowned a little, and looked over her again. She was sitting by the kitchen table which was filled with cupcakes in all kinds of states: finished, unfinished, too much sprinkles, no sprinkles. And on a chair by all that color and sugary sweetness, sat Iris with her shoulders slumped, looking helpless. It definitely wasn’t about the cupcakes. Ignis sighed a little worried and put down his bowl and walked to her.

“You’re really worried about him, are you?” he asked quietly as he took a seat by Iris’ side. Ignis also made a mental note to lecture Gladio about making his sister worry, because that was one thing he was a sulky idiot with him on some occasions, but he should never do that to Iris.

“Not even the cocoa helped, Ignis,” Iris sighed sadly, looking up at him with those huge, warm eyes Gladio also had. Ignis frowned. Because if the magical cocoa doesn’t help either, then something was truly up with Gladio. “Did he talk to you?” Iris asked suddenly.

“Ah, no, not since the graduation ceremony,” Ignis answered. It has already been a few weeks, no, a month already. They were late into summer break already. “I assume he’d gotten busy,” he added. Even if he knew for sure that Gladio was busy as hell. He sometimes saw him in the Citadel, but they never really exchanged more than a few words of greetings before either of them had to go.

Iris didn’t look happy about the news.

“I know he’s a big dummy,” she started a bit angrily, showing that trademark Amicitia look Ignis just adored on both of them. “But he should get his stuff together already!”

“I’m sure he will,” Ignis assured with a smile. He understood Iris’ frustrations about how they just had to wait for Gladio to figure this out himself. Although, Ignis wasn’t entirely sure what was actually going on with him, but must be something serious if his sister also noticed. “And you’re alright, Iris?” Ignis asked, taking a muffin to spread some cream on it.

“Huh? Me?” Iris blinked. “I am, I just miss Glady,” she smiled a little, taking her half finished cupcake to decorate it. “Oh, and I was called into the principles’ office yesterday!” she said proudly.

Ignis couldn’t help but smile about that, but tried to hide it by setting his glasses. Being called into the principles’ office should have been a bad thing, but…

“You finally put that boy to his place?”

“I used that kick you taught me, so I didn’t punch him, I kicked him,” Iris grinned. And Ignis couldn’t help his laugh this time. Alright, so far for trying to tell her to behave. She was a good kid, she will be fine.

“Well done, Iris,” the retainer smiled then holding up his hand for a high-five.

That day Ignis didn’t stay for dinner, he still had some work to be done in the Citadel. Work was piling up on all sides; the reports from the Scientias too and from the Council even. Niflhehim was getting more active and the Council started to act like a rabid dog more when it started to be clear that His Majesty was getting weaker. Ignis also had a few arguments with Sir Amicitia about priorities, and however fun that was, it was still tiring. When finally Ignis was on his way home, he received a report about how Gladio didn’t attend any of his lessons or meetings in the Citadel that day. Pairing with how worried Iris was about his brother, it raised some concerns in Ignis too.

Arriving at his apartment building and parking his car, Ignis took his phone and wondered if he should call Gladio. He was already heading up to his floor when he decided he will and get ready for whatever mood the guy may be in. But what was strange is that Gladio didn’t pick up. So Ignis tried again once he reached his floor. Walking out of the elevator, the first thing he noticed was the ringing of a phone, so he looked around to see who it was. Just to spot someone sitting by his door, hunched over and appearing to be sleeping, with their hood over their heads.

It was Gladio.

The sight was slightly alarming so Ignis hung up the call and hurried to him, wondering just how long he was sitting there?! And why didn’t he call?!

“Gladio?” Ignis asked as he knelt down by his side, putting a hand on his shoulder. Even through his hoodie, he could tell that Gladio’s body was burning up, he apparently had a bad fever. “Gladio!” Ignis called him again, and reached under his chin to tilt his head up to look at his face. Gladio wasn’t sleeping, he was half unconscious.

With a curse Ignis grabbed his arm and put it around his shoulder and attempted to lift him from the ground to bring him inside. Ignis knew that he was in good shape, but carrying all of Gladio’s weight was still a challenge. He had gotten huge and stronger, and terribly heavy. Ignis dragged him to his bedroom to lay him on the bed, hating how his whole body felt to be on fire. Gladio was so feverish that he wasn’t awake at all and he also appeared to be in pain.

“What happened?” Ignis asked as Gladio squirmed when he was put onto the bed, seemingly coming around. But Gladio didn’t answer, he  _ couldn’t _ . Ignis’ worry grew and wondered why he didn't receive any kind of report about an  _ attack _ on Gladiolus Amicitia. Something was going on again? But as he was thinking about that, he watched as Gladio pushed himself up from the bed and reached for his hoodie. Apparently to tug it off, and groaning in pain all the way.

Once the hoodie was off, so many things made sense to Ignis. He gasped as he saw the outline of an eagle tattooed all over Gladio’s back. It wasn’t done, only a part of it was detailed enough around Gladio’s left shoulder, but the outline was there. It was supposed to cover his whole back and arms, reaching toward his chest.

Ignis felt his throat go dry as he reached for the hoodie, his eyes glued to Gladio’s sweaty back, marked and wounded. This was his real graduation Ignis wondered, the mark of the eagle. As his grip on the garment tightened. It was supposed to be magnificent, but his heart broke as he was watching his friend tremble under the weight of it. He had a fever from that tattoo wound. A bad one.

“I’ll get you some water,” Ignis said and hurried to the bathroom first to find some medicine. All the while thinking that how come Gladio was reacting so badly to his tattoo. He was always bouncing right back up after any kind of injury he had suffered. Even worse ones too. Ignis also wondered if it had something to do with what Iris said. About Gladio getting sadder.

Ignis prepared the fever medicine and carried the glass back to the bedroom. He figured Gladio is not in a state to swallow any pills, but at least he may be able to get some gulps of water with medicine in it.

“Come here, try to sit up just a little,” Ignis tried, putting his hand gently on Gladio’s shoulder for a moment. “Gladio, please,” he sighed when the other didn’t seem to be moving. Then Ignis reached for his arm to try and tug him upward. “Just until you drink some,” Ignis huffed, even if he had no idea if Gladio even understood what he wanted to say. After some tugging Gladio pushed himself up again, and Ignis pressed the glass against his lips. With a groan Gladio grabbed the glass, though Ignis didn’t let it go either. He held it until the Amicitia drank all the water and the medicine with it too. “Good, very good,” Ignis whispered, placing the glass on the nightstand and helping Gladio lay back on his stomach so his tattoo won’t bother him more.

“Thanks…” Gladio croaked. Ignis didn’t say anything, just sat at the edge of his bed, watching Gladio panting in his half conscious state. He didn’t look good, not at all. And Ignis felt terrible for him. He knew how it looked when someone bottled things up and it spilled over. Ignis knew that too well. With that in mind, he reached out to dig his fingers into Gladio’s dark locks, feeling how drenched in sweat they were.

“It’ll be fine now, alright?” Ignis heard himself speak. He wondered if he said it to himself, or to Gladio. Either way, he hoped it would work and they both calmed down. “Rest now,” he whispered, petting his hair, then his hand slid to Gladio’s cheeks, feeling it still burning up. He only took the medicine, of course it’s not working yet, but Ignis hoped his temperature would soon go down. As he was thinking about that, Gladio slowly reached for his hand to press his fingers against his cheek with a relieved sigh.

“Your hands ‘re so cold,” he whispered into the pillow, his eyes opening to look up at Ignis. Though he had to wonder if Gladio saw him at all.

“They get like that sometimes,” Ignis said, licking his lips. “Try to rest, sleep. You can stay here as long as you need,” he added. The Amicitia continued to look at him and Ignis wondered if he understood him. But then he nodded, closing his eyes at last.

“Will you stay?” he asked suddenly.

“I’ll be around, yes,” Ignis promised. He waited until Gladio’s grip loosened just a little before he pulled away. Soon the boy fell asleep and his breathing got regulated just a bit. All the while Ignis’ heartbeat didn’t want to rest. He knew Gladio was going to be alright and yet, that stupid heart just didn’t want to calm down. Seeing Gladio like this; in pain and suffering and weak, it was something new, and something Ignis never wanted to experience.

The night was long, especially that Ignis could not help to wake up a few times to check on his sudden guest. He chose to sleep outside on the couch. Mainly because he didn’t want to bother Gladio. He needed rest. Ignis also decided that he would wait for him to wake up in the morning, because he didn’t want to just leave him there in the empty apartment. He didn’t have to wait long, however, only just a little after Ignis started to prepare breakfast, Gladio stepped into the kitchen too.

“So it wasn’t a dream, Six…” Gladio groaned as he stopped by the door. Ignis looked over his shoulder at him. He was still wearing yesterday’s clothes, and looked like he didn’t sleep at all. At least his fever seemed to be down.

“You thought it was?” Ignis asked as he moved to pour a glass of water and bring it over to him. Gladio didn’t answer, just took the drink to empty it all. “You should shower, I’ll make breakfast and then we can talk.”

Gladio seemed to contemplate the offer, looking down.

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about,” he said at last.

“You don’t think?” Ignis huffed, raising an eyebrow at him. “Let’s see, I come home just find you by my door barely conscious, barely being able to say a word, with a high fever. You looked like you had a lot going on--”

“It was just the tattoo, okay!? There! Nothing happened!” Gladio spread his arms and went to put his glass into the sink.

“I saw you get through worse injuries without batting an eye,” Ignis prodded.

“Were you always this nosey?!” Gladio huffed, though his smirk looked more like a snarl as he sent a look at the other.

“Were you always such a bitch?” Ignis deadpanned.

Gladio took a sharp breath as if he wanted to say something, but in the end his shoulders dropped. He was just silently eying Ignis, with his mouth pressed into a thin line, then he hissed.

“Fuck you,” he said looking around in the kitchen as if he was searching for something. But when he realized that he had nothing on him when he came here, he just headed out. Ignis couldn’t help to roll his eyes as he turned off the stove and followed the other.

“Gladio, wait, at least have some breakfast.”

“Fuck your breakfast too,” the Amicitia roared over his shoulder, marching toward the exit. “I don’t need any of this.”

Ignis decided not to comment on that. Because if Gladio really truly didn’t need ‘any of this’ then why did he end up by his door in the first place. So he just watched as the boy put on his shoes and stormed out, as if he wasn’t there at all. Didn’t even say bye.

It was obvious Gladio wasn’t doing well. He was barely around the Citadel and if he was he was usually training with the Crownsguard. He also cut all and every communication with Ignis short, even with Noctis and Prompto too. To the point where Noctis was asking Ignis if Gladio was fine. If Noctis noticed something was up, then certainly something was off. But Ignis knew better than to directly ask Gladio, he didn’t exactly want to set himself up for another yelling. He hoped Gladio works it out for himself, or opens up about it before it was too late. Ignis also had to try his hardest not to send eyes after him once he left the Citadel, to check what he was truly up to.

Though, Ignis didn’t have to wonder too long, because after a week of neglecting him, Gladio showed up again. Sitting by his door. Running on high fever. With plastic wrap taped on a part of his back to protect the fresh part of his tattoo. It was late at night and Ignis wondered how long Gladio had been sitting there. He watched him a little, before kneeling down to him.

“You should’ve called me,” he told him quietly, knowing full well Gladio isn’t exactly conscious. Even if they had a fight the last time they met, Ignis couldn’t just leave him there. And for some reason Gladio still came to him in his feverish state. So Ignis once again scooped him up and put him to bed, forcing him to drink medicine. This time, however, he tended to his tattoo too; while Gladio was sleeping Ignis put cream on his skin to ease some of the soreness and make the ink stick more. After the first time Gladio had visited him like this, Ignis went to research how to tend for tattoos for exactly this reason. After he took care of the boy, he once again decided to keep himself out of the room during the night and checking on Gladio a few times.

In the morning, Ignis didn’t bother to make breakfast, just brew some coffee and took up his place on the couch, looking at files he had brought home. Only just after he sat down, the door of his bedroom opened revealing a very disgruntled Gladio, holding his hoodie in his hand. Ignis straightened his back as he looked at him.

“Morning,” he greeted quietly. Gladio just grunted something at him, not even looking at him as he basically fled Ignis’ apartment. Probably pretending he wasn’t there at all. Later that day Ignis received a single text from him say ‘thanks’.

Ignis would have lied if he said that he wasn’t growing more concerned. Especially after Iris called him, asking about Gladio. Telling him that his brother was barely coming home and when he was he was a pain in the ass.He still didn’t want to play with her. Apparently, one day even Sir Amicitia mentioned how Gladio was acting a bit out of it. Ignis wished he could tell Iris that everything was fine, but he wasn’t sure either. Gladio was different from him; he had a thick skull and pride that would match the gods. There was no way to tell how he would react to further pressure. What he was doing was already confusing and worrisome, especially that he seemed to push away people who could help him.

Two weeks from the last time Gladio visited him, Ignis once again arrived at his apartment in the middle of the night, just to find the boy sitting by his door. Without any call beforehand, barely talking to him at all. Yet, Ignis once again picked him up from the floor and brought him inside. He tended to his tattoo, noting how it was still just about one third done, and gave him medicine.

“You’ll keep doing this until that tattoo is finished, Gladio?” Ignis asked as he put the empty glass on his nightstand. Gladio didn’t answer, of course he didn’t; he was once again running a high fever, barely having any energy to pay attention to the outside world. He was suffering and Ignis hated to see him like this, but he also hated that Gladio seemed to want to deal with this alone. Ignis sat down on the bed watching the boy who wasn’t asleep yet, but appeared to have some sort of nightmare.

Ignis wasn’t sure how long he was just sitting there, watching Gladio and trying to will him not to be stupid when he wakes up, when the boy opened his eyes. He strained to look around the room, just for his gaze to find Ignis. There was a moment of silence, and Ignis thought Gladio was waking up, but the medicine hadn’t kicked in yet.

“Gladio?” he asked either way. The Amicitia just groaned and strained to crawl over the bed, to Ignis. He put his arm around his waist and put his head on his lap before Ignis could stop him. Even in a sick state like this, Gladio had strength and Ignis got trapped in no time in his grip. “You big baby,” Ignis couldn’t help to huff as he took off his glasses and put them on the nightstand. He then leaned back against the headrest, trapped under a feverish behemoth. He reached to pet Gladio’s head to try and make him calm down and sleep and let the medicine work.

“Marry me, Ignis,” Gladio muttered into his shirt. Quietly and weak as a sigh, but it was there, Ignis heard it. Oh, Six, he thought, not entirely sure how to handle that. He knew Gladio was just feverish, he was talking nonsense. But how come this was the first thing he wanted to say to Ignis? To marry him?

“Ask me again when you can hear my answer too,” Ignis told him, indulging in this little fantasy just for a few seconds. Marriage wasn’t for him. He wasn’t cut for that. For a while he knew that he won’t be able to hold down proper relationships either. His work just wouldn’t let him. Ignis also knew that serving Noctis will always be the most important thing in his life and not many would accept that. Maybe no one.

Marriage wasn’t a Scientia thing, he thought. No reports spoke of marriage, not even amongst the people who didn’t get asked the three questions. People were afraid to get married, Ignis heard his Uncle say it once. They didn’t want to give their children to the Scientias. People didn’t want their children to get chewed on and spit out damaged, or dead. There were affairs, yes, unofficial partners and spouses, but those were free of the family’s burdens.

Another thing marriage wasn’t a Scientia thing is that no one would marry a monster. And Ignis didn’t want anyone to see him like that; a monster he truly was. Just a dagger that would take away any life if necessary. Marriage wasn’t a Scientia thing, and it certainly wasn’t a thing for Ignis. Yet, there was this big dumb Amicitia, who would ask for his hand in his most vulnerable state. He probably won’t ask Ignis again while sober, maybe never, and that was fine. They weren’t here to marry after all.

Ignis planned to wait until Gladio fell asleep to escape his hold, but he didn’t count on himself falling asleep too under that comfortable warmth.

It took a few hours, but sometime in the morning, before Ignis’ alarm would go off, he woke up to the sluggish movements of Gladio. He slowly moved off of him, probably attempting to flee again. Not this time, Ignis thought, and blindly reached out to grab the boy. He managed to take his arm, squeezing it.

“Fuck, I thought you’re asleep!” Gladio jumped a little, hissing in a tired, hoarse voice.

“Want to escape again?” Ignis asked, holding Gladio’s arm while he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“I don’t!”

“Then let me treat you with bacon, eggs and coffee and tell you how dumb you are.”

“We’re barely awake and you’re already sassing me,” the Amicitia growled, sitting up to bury his face into his hands. Though he didn’t speak more, looking like he was caught in mid-escape and now had no idea what to do. Ignis watched him, giving him time to work on some things, but then his grip loosened on his arm.

“Gladio, do you want to tell me something?” Ignis asked, stroking Gladio’s skin softly.

As he was sitting there, with his face hidden by his hands, Gladio looked younger than he actually was. Looked lost and scared, almost small. Ignis couldn’t help thinking that he knew this feeling. He knew how scary it was, how raw it was in nature. He knew everything about it… and now Gladio did too.

“It’s just…” Gladio started, looking up as he dropped his hands on his lap. His eyes were still closed, trying to keep it all in; the tears, the crying, the pain. “It hurts…” he spoke then, in a small, fragile voice. “It doesn’t hurt at the beginning, but then it starts to hurt. The more she goes on, the more it hurts to the point where I just… It gets like it’s not real.”

Ignis felt his throat tighten. Tattooing hurt, yes, but not that much. He moved closer, showing he listens without words. Gladio’s shoulders slumped, as his gaze was trapped at one point over the sheets of the bed.

“It feels like I can’t carry this shit on my back, Iggy,” Gladio said. “If I can’t handle this pain, how could I protect anyone?” There it was, Ignis wondered, watching as tears ran down Gladio’s cheeks without him acknowledging them. “I realized I wanted to serve King Regis, because deep down I knew he could protect himself, if I fail…” Gladio started shaking, making Ignis reach for his hand. “But with that scrawny thing Noct… If I fail he can’t protect himself. If I fail it’s all over… What if I can’t protect him? Or the people who’re important to me?”

Self doubt wasn’t a stranger to Gladio, with the expectations his father had for him, and that was fine. That was good, because it meant he will try everything in his power to prove to himself that he is able to do the things he was destined for. However, he’ll also need to know that he will be alright. That one day, he’ll be the person he truly is; the Shield of His Majesty, the protector of the people.

“I believe in you,” Ignis told him, his fingers squeezing Gladio’s hand. “If anyone is capable of protecting Noct, it’s you.”

Gladio was silent, but he leaned his shoulder against Ignis. He was processing, probably fighting with his inner demons once again.

“When I think about you or Noct getting hurt because of me I… I can’t move,” he whispered, still not looking at Ignis but at that one spot on the sheets. Ignis had to strain to hear him. “I thought if I won’t get strong enough, you… you’d leave me.”

Ignis frowed. He wondered when he put such expectations on Gladio. Though, maybe it was Noctis. Gladio knew that Noctis was the most important to him, and maybe that’s why. If Noct would get hurt, Ignis definitely got angry. Maybe to the point of cutting ties with Gladio altogether. Though, Gladio forgot one thing: that after Noct, he was one of the most important person in Ignis’ life.

“Gladio, I want you to know one thing,” Ignis sighed. “Your job is to be a Shield, you’ll become Noct’s last line of protection, but that doesn’t mean you’re alone. The same way you protect Noct, the people, and me. I’m also here to protect you. You’re not alone in this. You are not alone.”

Ignis knew how easy it was to forget that in this line of work. That they are not alone. He wanted Gladio to know that: that he had people by his side. Ignis was also sure that there were other people for Gladio. Maybe in the future he takes on a partner too, who can support him through all this. The one who can marry him. And even then, Ignis will still be by his side.

“I’ll always be here and work with you, no matter what,” Ignis repeated. “We together surely can protect Noct.” Because if they both can’t, who can, truly.

Ignis felt Gladio’s shoulders relax.

“I won’t disappoint you.”

“I know you won’t,” Ignis assured. “I trust you.”

With that Gladio’s head hit Ignis’ shoulder with a big sigh, his hand squeezing his.

“Can we stay like this a little?” he asked quietly.

“Of course,” Ignis nodded, turning his head bury his nose into Gladio’s messy hair. Even after a feverish night, he smelled good. If they were married, he could do this every day. He could just wake up next to Gladio, and press his nose against his skin, just enjoy his warmth a little before his morning coffee. Stupid Gladio, look what kind of thoughts you made Ignis think. Before all this, he had no desire to want this with anyone, and Ignis was sure he won’t have anyone to wish married life with.

The morning was sleepy, and slow and heavy on Ignis’ shoulders somehow. He wondered if it was because he was tired, or because of what Gladio asked him when he was sick. Which the boy probably couldn’t remember at all. It was Ignis’ burden to carry.

“See you in a week, then?” Ignis asked, half joking when he walked Gladio to the door. The boy just huffed and put on his hoodie, wincing as it brushed against his sensitive back.

“Yeah, about that…” he started, clearing his throat. “How about you come with me?”

“Come with you?” Ignis asked back a little unsure.

“To the parlor, where they, uh, tattoo me. I think… It could save both of us some time?”

Ignis contemplated it for a bit, because the tattooing surely lasted a few hours and then he would have to stay with Gladio until his fever runs. It would take up most of his day. But the fact that Gladio asked him to come with him meant that he was ready to get out of this loop of misery.

“Text me the time and place and I’ll be there,” Ignis told him. Though he had a feeling this may have been the very first time in history when a Scientia was present when an Amicitia was getting their tattoo.

Gladio smiled a little, making Ignis’ heart flutter in his chest. Why was he like this? Just because of that stupid thing Gladio asked him?

“Right, then, I’m off. Thanks for the breakfast, and for everything,” Gladio nodded, looking at Ignis as he put on his shoes. He hesitated for just a moment before he left. It was only a moment, barely there, but Ignis felt it. They both felt like something more should have been there, at the end of their parting. Even if it won’t last that long, they are going to see each other again. They always will, and that should be enough, Ignis wondered as he was just standing there, with his hand pressed to his chest to calm himself.

In two weeks Gladio texted the time and place to Ignis. It was located at a part of the City Ignis has never been to, which was slightly surprising. He thought that the ritual of an Amicitia’s tattoo would happen in their homes or at the Citadel, but apparently it was done near Little Galahd at the poorer side of the City. Gladio’s appointment was in the late afternoon and Ignis arrived by the parlor a few minutes earlier. He stopped by the huge window, peeking inside and trying to check it through the huge letters plastered over the glass. It didn’t look like a place where the Shield of the King would go to receive their iconic sign of loyalty and duty. Ignis tried to guess who would be the one working on Gladio from the few people working inside, but somehow he couldn’t imagine either of them up to such task either.

When Ignis pulled away he spotted Gladio walking toward him. His heart once again skipped a beat, filling him with warmth and making him realize how cold his hands were.

“Did you wait long?” Gladio asked, looking nervous. The late summer weather was humid and hot, yet he had his hands in the pockets of his sleeveless hoodie, as if he was cold too. Maybe he was. Maybe he was also cold in a way Ignis was.

“Just got here. I have to admit the place doesn’t look like…” Ignis sighed motioning around with his hand.

“Yeah, right? It’s… something else,” Gladio laughed nervously, looking at the window with an absent gaze. He was preparing himself, it was visible from the way his brows furrowed. Then his amber eyes turned to Ignis, his voice growing quiet as he spoke. “Thanks for coming.”

“I told you I will,” Ignis smiled a little.

“Yeah, but…” the Amicitia winced, looking down. Was that a blush on his cheeks? “You’re always busy,” he shrugged. Then he took a deep breath and motioned Ignis to follow him. He opened the door of the shop and ducked inside.

The moment they entered all heads turned toward them. The buzzing of the needles halted for a moment as Gladio stopped to greet the room. There was a murmur of greetings, but then the life of the parlor continued on. No one looked like they were in a hurry to assist them. Ignis frowned a little, but then Gladio walked toward the back of the store. He went to the curtain that seemed to separate the customer area from the back. There was a door at the back that led to a staircase. Ignis almost felt like he would find yet another Scientia hideout as they took the dark stairs up. Once Gladio opened the door at the end of the staircase, they arrived in a well lit room. At first glance, it looked like someone’s workshop. Then at second glance, it looked like someone’s home. Ignis couldn’t help to stop and pay more attention to it.

The whole place was stuffed with all kinds of paintings and sketches in various states. Ignis noted that none of the people's portraits were finished. A lot of nature paintings, however, bore many details. There was a corner where studies of eagles were pinned on a corkboard along with some real eagle feathers, sketches and paintings too. Color and texture studies also lined the board.

Gladio walked further in with Ignis following. In the middle of the room, there was a tattooing chair waiting empty. There was someone already sitting by it, drinking from a mug.

“Amicitia, I believe my rules were clear: no guests,” the person said. Ignis frowned and tilted his head to take a better look at the tattoo artist. She was a small, older lady with short, grey hair, wearing a colorful, but old robe. The robe’s sleeves were tied up so her arms were free, probably so she could work without the sleeves bothering her. As she put her mug back on the small table by her side Ignis could see ink on the tip of her fingers, which weren’t covered by the fingerless gloves she was wearing. 

“I apologize Lady Sollertia,” Gladio started, clearing his throat. “I asked him to come for support.”

Gladio was strangely honest, Ignis realized. He respected this woman a lot, he could tell. So he didn’t want to put him to shame.

“Good afternoon, my name is Ignis Scientia. I’ll be accompanying Gladiolus for today,” he said as he stepped next to Gladio, bowing a little. “However, he did not tell me about the… rules.” Gladio huffed, looking at Ignis for a moment with narrowed eyes. “I apologize, I should wait outside, then,” Ignis started after a moment of silence.

“Iggy,” Gladio grabbed his hand, almost begging. Ignis stopped, looking at him. He wanted to stay too, but if this person wouldn’t want to continue with him being present then…

“For Six’s sake get in the chair,” Lady Sollertia snapped, patting the chair in front of her. “Eventually all the Amicitas bring someone despite the rules. I’m sure you wudda begged me until I let that one stay too,” she grumbled reaching for a packet of cigarettes.

‘All the Amicitias’? Ignis couldn’t help but feel interested. Apparently this person had assisted other Shields before?

“Though this’ the first they bring a Scientia,” she continued as she lit her cigarette, eying Ignis with narrowed eyes. The boy felt like it wasn’t the first time she looked at him, for some reason. Even if it was the first time they met. She also wasn’t an associate of the Scientias or Ignis would have heard. Yet, there was something about her and the way she was looking at him.

“Dad brought someone too?” Gladio asked, looking at Ignis before he took off his hoodie and handed it to him.

“Oh, that one was a hard nut to crack,” Sollertia chuckled, watching as Gladio laid in the chair, which was complaining under his weight. “But he brought His Majesty himself on the last two sessions. Couldn’t send away that one either. Who am I to send the crown prince away?”

“King Regis?” Ignis couldn’t help to ask, because knowing that Sir Amicitia was here all those years ago, getting his tattoo and having His Majesty King Regis sit by his side was giving him a strange feeling.

“Is there another His Majesty right now?” she snorted, putting down his cigarette to reach for a marker pen.

“He never told me,” Gladio said, looking up at her form where he was laying.

“‘Course he didn’t,” Sollertia said. “If you asked he’d have told you he’d his tattoo done in a day and he didn’t shed a tear an’ basically waltzed out of here,” she motioned toward the door with her pen. “You stupid Shields are the worst I swear to all the Astrals. If you could just swallow all that pride…” she grumbled.

Gladio couldn’t help, but chuckle at her, turning his head toward Ignis.

“She’s right, you know,” Ignis said quietly, raising an eyebrow.

“Iggy, I called you here for support and not to team up against me,” Gladio groaned.

“Grab a chair and sit down, this gonna take a coupla’hours,” she addressed Ignis this time. Ignis looked around and spotted a stool by a bunch of open paint containers. He took it and brought it to sit by Gladio’s side, across from Lady Sollertia. He looked at Gladio’s back, with the half finished tattoo on it. Ignis tried to imagine how it would look when it was ready, when all of Gladio’s back and arms would be covered with this giant eagle. “It’s huge, isn’t it?” Sollertia asked suddenly.

“I suppose…” Ignis started, his gaze flickering at Gladio for a moment.

“He has to have a big one, he’s gonna need a lotsa help,” she said, patting Gladio’s back before she started wiping the part clean which she was going to work on. Then she took a marker and started to draw the part of the eagle. She wasn’t using any reference or guide, she just went in and drew on the feathers free handed. Ignis couldn’t help but stare at how practiced her movements felt, how flowing, how the lines appeared like they were born on Gladio’s skin rather than being drawn on. It was mesmerizing. “Hard times a’comin’, you see,” she added, as if just to herself. Gladio sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Ignis smiled a little, reaching out to pat his shoulder.

When Sollertia was done with drawing, and started to prepare the ink and needle, Ignis took yet another look around the room. It was stuffed with various art and art supplies, but the occasional mug and plates too. Apparently she was living and creating in this room. And Ignis had a suspicion that through the other door was the kitchen and bathroom. There was a huge glass door to their left, which was hiding behind a curtain right now, despite the hot weather. The room was not air conditioned, or it wasn’t turned on. There was no fan in sight either and it was already getting stuffy with all the smoke from her cigarette.

As for light, there was a huge lamp overhead of them which was the only light she was using to see Gladio’s back for work.

The same time as the buzzing of the needle started, Ignis spotted a portrait hanging higher than any of the art on the wall behind Sollertia. It was the only portrait that was finished. The woman on it was young and beautiful with her long, black hair and sharp eyes. As Ignis was looking at it, trying to memorize her features he realized he knew that person. The realization made him gasp softly.

It was Matrona Scientia’s portrait.

“Mm?” Sollertia looked up at Ignis as she reached for her cigarette to take a draw. Then she noticed where he was looking. “What didya say what’s your name?”

“Ign-”

“Ignis, right, right,” Sollertia frowned, looking up at him as if she just noticed him. “Well, I’ll be damned,” she chuckled, though it wasn’t a happy one. Ignis knew that chuckle, it was the one ‘adults’ did when they remembered something. Something they didn’t exactly want to. “To know it’s ya who’s helping this little flower here,” she remarked.

“I’m not a flower,” Gladio snapped.

“Your name’s a flower, you’re a flower, son, now shut up and lemme work. You gonna need your strength,” Sollertia retorted without missing a beat. And it did shut Gladio up. Ignis sighed, stroking the boy’s arm.

Sollertia started working on the tattoo then. Gladio sometimes giving a low grunt of complaint, but otherwise nothing really showed he was under distress. Ignis watched Sollertia work, which was an honor in a way. It felt like magic. Under her needle patterns of an eagle’s feathers appeared on Gladio’s skin. It was silent aside from the buzzing of the needle and the grunting of Gladio from time to time. Ignis’ eyes sometimes wandered back to the portrait of Matrona, once again reminding him that he had never read her file. He still didn’t have the courage for it. Or more like, the disrespect. For some reason, he felt like it was too personal. And now, he is sitting across from a person who apparently knew her too.

“Just a bit more my flower boy,” Sollertia muttered after an hour, when the ink ran out in her needle. “Just a bit more and we’re finished for today.”

Ignis watched as she got up to get more ink from a shelf nearby. Then turned to Gladio who wasn’t looking too well. He was already tired, breathing heavier than when they started this.

“Would you like some water?” Ignis asked. Gladio stubbornly shook his head. Ignis huffed, reaching to brush his cheek, resting his hand on the side of his head. “You’re doing great,” he told him.

“Thanks,” Gladio rasped, reaching up to take Ignis’ hand, pressing his fingers more at his cheek to feel the coldness of them.

“You’re like her,” Sollertia said as she sat back to her seat. She once again had a cigarette in her mouth as she absently watched Gladio’s back. “You’re one of  _ those  _ Scientias, right?”

Ignis froze a little, raising his gaze at her. Though if she knew Matrona, then she could know a bit about the Scientias too. He didn’t answer, but she already seemed to know that Ignis indeed belongs to  _ that  _ group of the family.

“Right, but you’re not like her cuz of that,” Sollertia murmured taking a drag from her cigarette again. “Wonder what the Astrals thinkin’,” she sighed. “Putting someone like you with the Shield. What’s up with that poor prince? What’s his fate if he gets guardians like you?”

Ignis felt his heart skip a beat. Gladio also tensed up, looking at him almost a little scared.

“With a huge eagle like this too,” Sollertia continued, looking at Gladio’s tattoo, flicking the filter of her cigarette with the nail of her thumb as she was holding it. It felt like she was trying to see the future, as if she could see it, but only through the fog. “That poor Prince Noctis…”

“Hey,” Gladio snapped weakly, turning his head to look at her. “I wanna go home today, so…”

“Right, then lay still,” she huffed, changing her cigarette to the needle and continuing her work.

Another hour passed with only just the needle making a sound. Gladio’s body was getting warmer, and his eyelids started to look heavier. Once the needle stopped, Ignis recognized the feverish Gladio that crashed by his door a few times the past few weeks. He sighed, reaching up to stroke Gladio’s chin with the back of his fingers.

“You gonna come next time too?” Sollertai asked. Ignis raised his eyes at her, wondering. Gladio didn’t ask him yet. But somehow, he already knew the answer.

“Most probably,” he nodded. “If I’m still allowed,” he added carefully.

Sollertia just snorted, putting the needle down and getting up from her chair to stretch her back.

“That big idiot doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into,” she started, waving toward Gladio. “Starting with a Scientia…” she sighed, looking up at the portrait of Matrona. Ignis couldn’t help but look at the painting too. He somehow knew he should get offended about what she said, but how could he, when she was right? Starting with a Scientia was never getting anywhere good. Scientias weren’t getting married, they were only loyal to the king and the prince, Scientias were monsters; the daggers of the Kingdom no one saw.

“We should go now,” Ignis started, not sure if he was ready to stay with this person longer right now. Gladio also needed to rest. So he grabbed his arm and shook him awake. “Come on, Gladio, let’s go.”

Gladio groaned and moved slowly and sluggish, slipping off the chair. Ignis guided one of his arms around his shoulders and prayed he could carry him to his car.

“You better find yourself a nice person, Gladiolus,” Sollertia sighed, fiddling with yet another cigarette as she watched them. “While Scientias are pretty, they’re empty.”

“‘M gonna marry Ignis!” Gladio snapped then, as much as he could with his fever running him down.

“Gladio,” Ignis huffed, feeling that sting of pain in the middle of his chest. “Let’s go.”

“Oh, poor child. No Scientia marries either,” Sollertia sighed, shaking her head and walking to them. “They just break your heart. It’s all they do.”

Before Gladio could say anything back, or before Sollertia could go on, Ignis moved toward the exit. He wanted to get out of that place as soon as possible.

Ignis could make it out of the shop and he thanked all the Astrals he could park the car close. He put Gladio on the passenger seat. It was still safer than on the backseat.

“Bear with it until we arrive, alright?” Ignis asked him as he started the car.

“Why was she an ass with you?” Gladio asked, his words slurring as he was fighting to get them out. Ignis sent him a look before he put the car in gear.

“I don’t know,” he said. However, after a moment he had to add: “I believe she’s bitter, because of someone from my family.”

“Mmm…” Gladio hummed. Ignis wondered what he was thinking right now. Knowing that Sollertia may not like him, just because of his family. Knowing that the Scientias can disappoint civilians too. Gladio groaned and put his hands on the dashboard, to lean his forehead on his forearms. Then he tilted his head to look at Ignis. When Ignis thought he fell asleep again he spoke: “I get that… But you could never disappoint me you know. You’re not like ‘em.”

Those words hurt Ignis more than he expected. For some reason he remembered Gracilius. That boy proved that he can indeed disappoint people he likes. Even people he would give his life for, too, Ignis thought bitterly as he didn’t say anything to Gladio. They were silent all the way toward his apartment. Gladio was battling with his fever and Ignis with his own demons.

When they arrived back to Ignis’ place the script was the same as usual. Ignis brought Gladio to bed, and offered him medicine. Then, he would ask Ignis to stay, and he would say yes.

Gladio’s body was hot to the touch even when he wasn’t running a fever, but when he was sick like this, Ignis could sleep next to him without covers too. It was safe and warm, just like when he would wear the hoodie he had confiscated that time from Amicitia House. But that piece of clothing was slowly losing Gladio’s scent, making Ignis feel even worse when wearing it to bed. At some point he was also thinking about asking for another one, but he knew it wasn’t appropriate, not after he told Gladio they can’t be together. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. It also made Ignis frustrated that he really shouldn’t want an Amicitia hoodie anymore, and get over it. Such and similar thoughts were running through his head as he was laying next to Gladio, late at night, watching his outlines in the darkness of his bedroom.

One of Gladio’s arms were draped over Ignis’ side loosely as he slept so Ignis could look at him up close and smell the scent of his skin he missed so much. Soon, his tattoo will be finished and these moments will cease to exist once again. Ignis knew that it was already risky doing this with Gladio, but he wasn’t strong enough to say no to him. He was also worried for him, a lot.

As Ignis was eying the other’s sleeping face, Gladio slowly moved and opened his eyes just a tad. Ignis felt his breath hitch when those dark, amber colored eyes found his gaze. Gladio was still high from fever, Ignis could tell, he wasn’t aware what he was doing. Because he most certainly wouldn’t have done what he did then. His huge body moved toward Ignis’ and his arm pulled him closer. His lips were seeking permission as they pressed against the corner of Ignis’ mouth.

Ignis closed his eyes for a moment. He should be strong enough to push Gladio away. But maybe for a kiss it wouldn’t hurt, Gladio wouldn’t remember anyway. So he reached to cup the Amicitia’s face and angled his head so their lips met. It felt like finally finding something that was lost a long time, something that Ignis could live without, but without purpose. It was just a small, almost clumsy kiss as Gladio was still not entirely aware of his movements. His lips were hot as Ignis’ coffee in the mornings, but not as bitter. It made Ignis want to taste more and at the same time regretting his decision of letting Gladio kiss him.

It was fine, Ignis thought. This all was fine, this was just a kiss. But of course, Gladio’s hand slowly slid down his body, grabbing at his thigh. The jolt of pleasure that shot up Ignis’ spine was so sudden he gave a sound at the back of his throat. Gladio took it as encouragement and that treacherous hand moved on and palmed between Ignis’ legs.

“Gladio…” Ignis started, using all his willpower and every strength in his body not to give in to what he wanted at that moment. “Stop, please.”

Gladio stopped, though his hand lingered.

“You don’ wan’ it?” he asked, slurring the words, barely conscious. It made Ignis feel just a little bit better about this. As if Gladio could get anything done in a state like this…

“You need to rest,” Ignis said. “We get back to it when your fever’s down.”

“I’m fine…”

“Gladio.”

The Amicitia groaned, leaning his hot forehead against Ignis’ shoulder. He was breathing heavily and Ignis just knew he was also as hard as he himself. But this was for the better, for both of their sakes. Right?

Even if Gladio didn’t try to initiate anything again, he still held Ignis close, even closer as before while he fell back asleep. His grip was tight and almost bordered on uncomfortable, yet Ignis welcomed it. Having someone hug him this tight, to a warm body like that… he just chose to enjoy that sensation a little more. Before morning would come and they forget all of this and go on with their lives.

The alarm woke Ignis up, still pressed tightly against Gladio’s side. Thankfully his arm wasn’t as tight around him so he could force himself to leave the bed and get to the kitchen to make some breakfast for them. He quickly checked if Gladio’s temperature was acceptable, before he quietly left the room. Ignis always made eggs and bacon whenever Gladio was over. So everything went back to routine. Ignis was preparing some coffee when he heard Gladio’s step behind him. It was still early so Ignis wanted to tell him he could go back to sleep, but before he could turn around or say something Gladio slid his arms around his waist from behind and pulled him to his chest.

“I’m feeling better, Iggy,” he said in a sleepy, hoarse voice. His lips were already pressed against Ignis’ neck, parting to place an open mouthed kiss against his sensitive skin. Ignis had to grab onto the counter to steady himself at the sudden rush of sensations.

“What- what are you talking about?” Ignis asked and he immediately regretted pretending to be so dumb. Because it didn’t suit him.

“You told me we’re gonna do it when I’m ok,” Gladio muttered against his neck, stopping kissing him.

“You remember that? I thought…” Ignis frowned, then wriggled to get out of Gladio’s embrace, feeling like his heart was being ripped too. He looked up at the boy, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“I do,” Gladio said, raising an eyebrow. In the next moment, however, he realized it. “You were lying to me? You thought I’m not gonna remember?”

“It was easier to say that, you needed rest,” Ignis insisted.

“It’s not about that, and you know it,” the other shook his head. “You don’t want to- You should’ve told me if you didn’t want me anymore.”

Ignis didn’t answer. Because it wasn’t the case. If he could he would have taken Gladio then and there against the kitchen counter. And Gladio looked at him as if he knew that.

“I know you’re doing it with Palus, the guy who was in my class,” Ignis was suddenly accused. “He brags about it anytime he can.”

Ignis wondered why can’t people shut their mouth about these things. Yet, somehow it was good Gladio knew. Maybe.

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything,” Ignis said, crossing his arms as he faced Gladio more.

“Why him and not me?” Gladio asked. “Is his dick bigger? Huh?”

“Now you’re just being childish.”

“You didn’t answer me!”

“Because you’re different, Gladio. There.”

“That’s not an answer! What’s the difference, I’m sure I can do the same shit he does to you!”

Ignis felt his body heat up from anger. How could Gladio be this selfish, or this stupid. Why was he provoking him like this?! When they were talking about it before and Ignis believed Gladio understood what’s the damn difference...

“Then what’s the difference between your girlfriends and me?” Ignis asked in a low voice, thick from anger.

“That’s-” Gladio started, but Ignis shut him up by taking a step toward him and tilting his head to look into his face. As if he would threaten him, and in a way he did.

“If you remembered everything, why didn’t you ask me to marry you when you weren’t sick?”

The silence that followed was something Ignis hated the most. He didn’t want to do Gladio dirty like that, he didn’t want to hurt him for real. But if the big dumb idiot needed to be reminded in such a way that why they just can’t have casual sex, then he got it. Ignis felt his throat tightening as he watched Gladio’s pained expression. But he did this to himself.

“Get out,” Ignis heard himself say. That was the last thing he wanted...

“Iggy-”

“Get out or I’ll make you.”

The look in Gladio’s eyes was the same one Sollertia casted at him. The  _ same  _ one. So Ignis couldn’t look at him anymore. Thankfully the Amicitia wasn’t as dumb to not know when his visit is overdue. He quickly got his clothes and was out of the apartment before Ignis could get weak and call him back. But this was better this way. Gladio was better off hurt now than later. Ignis knew he himself would get over him. Surely, one day.

As expected, after their fight Gladio didn’t text him when his next tattoo appointment was. Which was fine, as if Ignis would have trouble finding something like that out. It was almost too easy. However, the question was, if he should show up at all. But for some reason, even when they were fighting, Ignis knew that the Amicitia was going through a rough time and even if they couldn’t be involved in a way they wanted, they were still comrades. So it wasn’t a question that Ignis would wait for Gladio by the tattoo parlor at next appointment.

When Gladio recognized him, he stopped. Probably wondering what he should say, how should he act. But in the end, he just greeted Ignis and went ahead. Ignis followed without a word. There was no need for talking.

Though when they arrived at Sollertia’s place she took one look at them and laughed. It was a laughter that bitter people did when someone fell to their pit. The ‘I told you so’ laughter. Which was fine, Ignis thought. If she could bear his presence easier like this, then be it. If she had to laugh at the Scientias then be it. At least someone was laughing, because all Ignis wanted to do was scream.

All the way through Sollertia was working on Gladio, Ignis was looking at Matrona’s portrait. He wondered if she felt like this too. If she had to cut her ties off with Sollertia, because the Scientias weren’t a safe family to get involved with? Or if she didn’t want her to see her as a monster? For a moment, Ignis thought he would tell Sollertia about Matrona, about how she was doing. But in the end, he stayed silent. It was their story, they ended it as such for a reason, even if it drowned in bitterness. He had no right to write another chapter to it. One thing, however, bugged him in all this: if Sollertia was so bitter about Matrona, why did she keep her portrait? Why did she put it in a place where it was visible from all corners of the room? Is it to remind herself not to trust her kind again? Or worse, maybe she couldn’t let her go? Ignis knew he had no business with all of that, yet he had to wonder… if Gladio would keep his portrait at all when this all ends.

After the session, Ignis took Gladio to his apartment and tended to him as usual. The only difference was that Gladio didn’t ask him to stay this time, and Ignis didn’t dare to.

They did this silent companionship for the two more times Gladio had to go. The last occasion wasn’t any different from the rest. Gladio stayed the night, Ignis slept on the couch, then Gladio left the morning without breakfast. And it was fine. It was how it should be. Yet Ignis’ throat hurt the whole day, no matter how he tried to cure it.


	21. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter from Gladio's POV.

“Get out or I’ll make you,” Ignis said and Gladio knew better than to test that. He knew that Ignis wouldn’t bluff about it, and make sure no one would find his body either. Ignis was dangerous and Gladio knew that for a long time now. Ignis was a dagger to the king, as his father often mentioned it, just like Gladio was his shield. Yet, the Amicitia always saw something more in him. He saw the way he looked at Noctis sometimes, he saw his smile. He heard him handle Prompto’s ramblings. He saw that determination in his eyes when he was fighting.

Gladio saw Ignis with fresh blood on his shirt. He saw him moan in pleasure. He saw him collapse from all that crap the world put on his shoulders… Gladio knew Ignis in a way no one else did, and yet he still messed up with him.

Yes, they talked about this. They talked about why can’t they be together. It was a conflict of interest, sure. Gladio was also sure he would be disowned if he brought Ignis home as his date. Ignis must have had his reasons too, probably connected to his family and what they did. Gladio felt like a fool for even trying to pretend that he wanted this to be casual. He felt selfish for making Ignis do this. Though, he got his punishment for it too.

‘ _ ...why didn’t you ask me to marry you when you weren’t sick? _ ’

Right. Because I’m weak, Gladio realized on his way home. It was for the better Ignis wouldn’t start with someone like him either way. He deserved someone better, someone who could keep up with him. Someone who could be there for him, who Ignis can lean on when he stumbles. Gladio huffed as he was thinking about it. He didn’t feel strong enough for that either. In fact, he never truly did and yet Ignis still trusted him. And, even if he was mistaken, Gladio felt pride in Ignis’ trust. 

As Gladio arrived back at the Amicitia residence, he decided it was better he won’t mess around anymore, not after he violated that trust of Ignis. Being near Ignis felt good, felt safe, but it would be selfish to ask him to come to his next tattoo appointment again. Maybe he could ask Jared to pick him up when it’s over, but he would have hated to show his face at home looking that weak and feverish. So Gladio just put the problem off for as long as needed.

Just to end up asking no one to pick him up, and only realizing that on the day of the appointment. And yet, he still didn’t tell anyone; even when he had the worst feeling that he would wake up in Ignis’ bed, just to face his sharp, questioning eyes once again. So Gladio wasn’t entirely the most calm when he had to set off to the tattoo appointment that day.

Gladio never told Ignis the time of his next appointment, yet the guy was waiting for him by the parlor when he arrived. For the weirdest part of it all, Gladio wasn’t surprised. He wondered if subconsciously it was the reason he didn’t ask anyone to pick him up.

It was already late afternoon, people were hurrying down the sidewalk, but Gladio could only see Ignis standing by the parlor’s entrance. For anyone else he must have looked plain with his dark slacks and dress shirt with a black waistcoat over it, but for Gladio he was the only one he saw. This idiot, Gladio thought as he walked up to him, this idiot was the one, he wondered as he greeted him shortly, unable to muster up anything else.

This idiot Ignis Scientia was the one for Gladio and he had known this forever. Ever since he dared him to climb the tree when they were just little kids and saw that determination an injured Ignis would try and prove a bully wrong. Ever since then there were moments in Gladio’s life when he would look at Ignis and think: yes, he is the one. Ignis had a lot of secrets, Ignis had killed a person, he was dangerous, but he was always honest with Gladio. He never judged him. He was loyal to him, in his own twisted way. If anything, being an Amicitia taught Gladio that loyalty is a precious treasure.

Even if they were fighting, even if they were both hurting, Ignis somehow found out when his next tattoo session was and came to support him, because Gladio asked that one time. It must have hurt him a great deal to do it, yet he came. Because there was something more important there than their stupid fight… And Gladio didn’t even thank him, because even talking to Ignis was difficult.

As if on schedule, Gladio had blacked out around the middle of the session, remembering the car ride and how nice Ignis smelled as he had leaned on him when he carried him to his bed. Ignis’ bed smelled of laundry detergent, yet under all that artificial scent there was Ignis’ own. While Gladio liked the scent of his aftershave too, somehow the smell of Ignis’ skin was his favorite. If he buried his face into that pillow, he could catch a whiff of it.

If they were married, he could wake up to Ignis’ scent in his nose every day? He could maybe just reach over and pull his body to his to feel his warmth against his? Maybe he could watch him sleep and rest once in a while? Gladio heard himself chuckle, like a fool. Since when did he have such thoughts like the female lead in one of the novels he was reading? Ignis would definitely laugh at him if he knew. One day, however, Gladio will ask him again. He will ask for Ignis’ hand, he’ll be strong enough to do it, for sure.

\--

_ Gladio sighed deeply when he felt the hot water hit his sore shoulders under the shower. It felt like he hadn’t had a shower ever in his life. It felt different, more real. As if right then and there, he was finally himself, he was finally experiencing things through his own skin and not through anyone else’s. His hand went to his naked chest, feeling the new, deep, long cut that ran across it down toward his abdomen. One of the souvenirs he had gotten from his fight with Gilgamesh. The other one would be across his forehead. He remembered well when he had gotten that one; though only after checking himself in a mirror he realized it would also leave a scar. Noct would probably joke about a treasure or an X marking some spot. Even if it was clear that Noctis was immensely relieved when he realized Gladio was back. If he was honest, Gladio himself was also relieved. _

_ He was relieved, because he didn’t have to leave Noct, he didn’t have to tell him that his Shield was just a useless pot lid, he could go back to his King and look into his eyes with pride, possessing more faith in himself than before. _

_ Tilting his head, so that he can let his facial scars wet with warm water, Gladio couldn’t help to think of someone else who he could finally face again. Without feeling like a mistake. As that thought ran through his mind, he felt cold fingers on his shoulders. _

_ “It’s me,” Ignis spoke in a low voice. As if Gladio wouldn’t be able to tell from a touch alone. From the way the retainer’s fingers were so cold against him as they were seeking contact, searching to hold him. He smiled to himself for a moment before he turned around to face Ignis finally. _

_ “Missed me?” Gladio asked, taking those cold hands to warm them against his. Hating to know that Ignis’ touch only got so cold when he was nervous. _

_ “Of course I did, you left without a word…” Ignis huffed, his gaze dropping lower on Gladio’s body, spotting the huge scar across his chest. Gladio watched as those sharp green eyes took in everything about his naked body, as if he wanted to update all the information he had in that head of his. Though, Gladio also could tell that Ignis wasn’t taking this well. Hell, he could understand that. If he had seen Ignis return bearing a scar that would have shown he was basically fighting for his life, Gladio would have lost it too. So he reached for the other man, cupping his face with one hand. _

_ “Come here,” he whispered and pulled him into a kiss. “I’m back now, alright? I know what I have to do now. Got my ass kicked to remind me of who I should be,” he grinned as they parted. _

_ “If you wanted a beating you could have come to me,” Ignis said, leaning in to press his lips against Gladio’s once again, along with his body. Even if some of his scars still hurt and his muscles were sore, Gladio slid an arm around Ignis’ waist and pulled him under the hot water to warm him up. “Never leave like this again, Gladio…” _

_ “I promise I won’t,” Gladio agreed, in a low, rumbling voice as he felt something stir inside him. He had returned with a strength he never thought he could have, he felt more like himself… and with this newfound power, he could finally hold Ignis the way he deserved. _

_ It was rare from Ignis to get like this. To show he was worried, because he had no such luxury. Noctis and the others relied on him keeping cool and he knew that. Though, Gladio saw him out of that role too many times for his liking. He also had the suspicion that no one else had that privilege. _

_ “Remember the first time you saw me with a scar?” Gladio couldn’t help to smirk into Ignis’ ear as he pushed him against the wall. “It wasn’t that long ago,” he teased. _

_ Ignis just huffed at him and bit at his shoulder to shut him up. _

\--

“ _ Gladio _ !”

It was Noct who called his name. That voice Gladio would always hear, even through the ringing of his ear, even through the sound of blood rushing, he would always hear Noctis’ voice, no matter what. He was his Shield after all and will be until the last of his breath.

“Are you okay?” Gladio heard himself, yet the whole thing felt like it was happening to someone else.

“Yeah, but you’re bleeding!”

Noctis was scared, but he was safe, that’s all Gladio knew in that moment. He had no clear idea how he knew that, he just did. Another thought also crossed his mind before he blacked out: Ignis will be pissed  _ as fuck _ .

\--

Gladio was slowly regaining consciousness, though he refused to open his eyes. How embarrassing, he thought. Fainting like those heroines in the books on his shelves. He always thought that was just a writer’s lazy way to cut a scene short. Yet, here he was, slowly clawing through the darkness of his own consciousness. He didn’t open his eyes, but tried to use his other senses to determine where he actually was.

There was a quiet humming of a machine nearby; the scent of medicine and antiseptic was thick in the air and the pillow holding his head was the most uncomfortable ever. Right, he was in the hospital. Of course. As he was trying to decide if he should open his eyes and face his failure as a Shield another scent came to him. Roses. Some kind of roses. Nearby. Probably on the bedside table. Despite everything Gladio planned to do, he slowly opened his eyes to see what was up with the flowers. In that moment, he had to realize something: he was blind in one eye.

With dread, Gladio willed his body to wake up too, reaching up to his face to feel the bandages there. Half of his face was covered. As he moved his head slightly he felt the pull of some stitches  _ on his face _ .

With a groan, Gladio’s head fell back onto his pillow trying to remember what exactly happened.

Oh yes, he took Noct out for a night of drinking. Into Little Galahd, because why not. He had no idea someone would recognize the prince and would try to act all high and mighty. Gladio also had no idea he would drink that much and would end up shielding Noct with his goddamn face instead of anything really. Well, it seemed like a good idea back then, and Gladio had to once again realize that he was an absolute disaster when he drank too much. At least he didn’t hurt the guy, who really was just drunk and made all the bad choices. Six, Gladio could say the same. He could already hear the lecture his father would give him, maybe even King Regis would mention something about it.

To distract himself from these kinds of wonderful thoughts, Gladio opened his one working eye again and turned his head toward the peach colored roses. He took the card that laid on the table too, addressed to him.

It was from Ignis.

Just a plain, cream colored card, saying ‘Get well soon’ and the retainer’s immaculate signature scribbled on the bottom of it.

Astrals, he couldn’t be here longer than a few hours already, but Ignis of course sent flowers. Gladio sighed, reading the kind of plain message on the card. Something was wrong. And it had nothing to do with him laying in bed injured. It was something about Ignis. Something about the plain card and the signature. Or maybe Gladio was just imagining things.

It also made Gladio realize he missed Ignis. Ever since he had gotten his tattoo two years ago, when he was nineteen years old, they have both seemed to keep distance. Which was fine. They had a fight about it. A fight they never really solved; mostly because Gladio had no idea how. Ignis was right, he wouldn’t ask for his hand officially, not yet anyway. They couldn’t go casual either, as in to ‘scratch an itch’ Gladio would tell some of the girls he had dated before. No, Ignis was different. But man, was it hard. It was difficult. Because Gladio knew that he could trust Ignis with his life. Yet, he couldn’t give him his love.

What a stupid thing, he thought, as he eyed the card. For a moment, he wished Ignis would be there and told him he was stupid instead of telling him to get well…

They kept Gladio in the hospital for the day, only releasing him by the evening. He could take off the bandages, but the stitches remained. One of the nurses told him it’ll be an ugly scar on such a handsome face. Gladio wished it would only be that. Now every time he would look at it, he’d be reminded of why he got it… 

Once picking Gladio up from the hospital, Sir Amicitia was absolutely furious. He was shouting at him all the way during the car ride while Gladio was trying not to look at his phone to check the numerous texts from Noct. Yet, even like this, he knew that there was none from Ignis.

“I hope every time you looked into the mirror that scar would make you remember what an utter disgrace you were, Gladio!” his father lectured him even as they walked into their house. Iris came running down the stairs to greet them, with tears in her eyes.

“Glady!” she cried as she spotted them, running straight to his brother to put her arms around his waist. She was getting bigger each day, Gladio couldn’t help noticing it from time to time. She was slowly becoming a teenager, growing up and growing fierce with each day, taking on the Amicitia role with more pride Gladio could ever hope for. Yet, she was there crying in his arms just because some drunk idiot decided to break a bottle on his face. Well, more like Gladio prompted that drunk idiot to do it. Just to almost lose his eye…

“Hey, Iris, don’t cry, I’ll be fine,” Gladio tried to calm her, with a half, too forced smile.

“I’m crying, because you were a big dumb idiot again, you made me and dad worry for you! But dad told me you were drunk and you took Noct with you! What if Noct was injured too!?” Iris snapped, angry tears shedding from her eyes. Gladio sighed, rubbing his numb face. Oh, yes. Noctis, the oh so perfect Prince of Lucis, the dream of Iris Amicitia herself. And the monkey brained brother, who was supposed to protect him. Oh, when was the time when Gladio was the big brother Iris ran when she was afraid… or just wanted to play.

“Clean up and rest for now, Gladio. That scar will have to heal a few days, but once the stitches are out, you’re back to twice as much work. So you won’t have time for stupid ideas ever again,” his father told him. Gladio grumbled something about it wasn’t entirely his idea, but it was fine. He was the son, the big brother here, he had to take this beating. In a way he even wanted to, because he deserved it.

The thing was, however, it wasn’t entirely his idea to go out drinking. It was Noct’s. They were supposed to train, but Noctis just couldn’t concentrate. At one point Gladio was worried that he would seriously injure him. So they talked instead. Noctis was close to graduating from high school and that put pressure on a normal person too, and if that person was the Prince of Lucis, it may have added to some of that. Gladio also knew he wasn’t entirely a good conversationalist, not at all.

Noctis just wanted to let go for one night and Gladio thought he could let him. He was his Shield, he could protect him.

Well, look how that went.

At least Noctis wasn’t hurt, though certainly scared, maybe annoyed that he was recognized. Judging by his texts, he must have been anxious too and feeling guilty about Gladio. Which surely, wasn’t his burden to carry. Gladio knew this shit was entirely on him and he had to deal with that.

Getting to his room, he had to realize that he welcomed the silence that engulfed him. The hospital was busy and the car ride wasn’t a ‘fun’ ride either. Gladio closed the door and leaned his back against it, looking at his empty, dark room. He was wearing a fresh shirt, but held his last night’s clothes in his hands. They were reeking of smoke, beer and blood. A physical proof of his disgrace, Gladio thought. Even if that shirt was in a better shape than he himself felt. So he threw it on the ground and took his phone again. He called Noct first, just to talk to him, just to check on him, if he was fine, if he was… fine.

Gladio also tried his best not to ask about Ignis. About where he is and what he was doing. It felt unfair to want to see him, to want more of him than flowers and a card. Because Gladio knew he fucked up, so why would he need Ignis to tell him the same thing? And yet, he didn’t call him either. Ignis showed to him that he knew what happened, and sent him a get well card. That should be fine. That should be enough.

During his long shower, Gladio was trying to get his thoughts in order, trying to get rid of that tension in his shoulders and calm down. But it felt like the anger that he was unable to process last night, which was dulled out by the painkillers was coming back. So even if his father told him to rest, Gladio decided to get a training sword and swing it around the garden until he dropped dead.

With a plan in his mind, Gladio busted out of his bathroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist to get into sweats. It was already dark in his room, but he knew where his closet was, though as he walked toward it, he spotted a figure from the corner of his eyes. Before he could think of anything, Gladio was socked in the jaw with a punch so strong it sent him stumbling back. 

“If I was an intruder you’d be dead by now.”

“Nice to meet you too, Iggy,” Gladio groaned, rubbing his chin and realizing that he was still damn high on painkillers. “When did you get here?” he asked, as he felt around for the lightswitch.

“Not long ago,” Ignis answered. Now that the lights were on and Gladio’s sight was slowly clearing up he had to realize that indeed Ignis Scientia was standing in his room, in the flesh. Well, talk about wishes coming true, or something, Gladio couldn’t help to think.

As Gladio took in the sight of the other man, he had the same feeling when he was reading his get well card, that something was off. Something wasn’t right. Ignis wasn’t looking at him, but tapped at his phone, leaving Gladio enough time to watch him. He couldn’t help to just adore Ignis once again. Ignis looked  _ beautiful _ . Lately, he started to style his hair in a different way, so it wouldn’t fall into his eyes, which was perfect, because Gladio loved to see more of those green monsters behind those glasses. He loved how sharp they looked, he loved how they burned with determination, truly an indication of the fire that's burning deep inside Ignis. Even with his vision being too lovestruck for his own good, Gladio noticed the dark circles under Ignis’ eyes, he noticed that one wrinkle on his shirt, and he also spotted that tremor in Ignis fingers.

The last time Ignis looked similarly shaken was back during their Academy days, right before he collapsed.

That memory wasn’t a fond one of Gladio’s. Seeing Ignis writhe in a bed, in a fever no doctor could help, reciting the Chronicles of Eos.

They were in the nurse’s room in the school, Ignis having some kind of panic attack, visibly afraid of anyone who would come near. Once his consciousness went, he started reciting the chronicles which was the most eerie thing Gladio had ever encountered. Dr. Medolla told him that Ignis must have been conditioned from a very young age to do that. So that if it ever comes to him being tortured, he wouldn’t give out any information, but useless dates.

Ignis’ training included torture and being prepared for torture, Dr. Medolla hinted to Gladio with that.

Gladio suspected that Ignis wasn’t just a simple retainer, and only just a year ago his father had told him about the Scientias’ real business. About them being spies, and that Ignis was most probably going to be Noctis’ spymaster, if he wasn’t already. Everything about the Scientia family was a mystery and strange, blacked out reports.

Every time Gladio was reminded of what Ignis truly was his chest hurt just a little. Knowing that he was deliberately being hurt before, by none other than his family. He was regarded with distrust by his father for a long time, maybe even now in some cases. Gladio heard people whisper about the strange Scientias, and about Ignis too. He witnessed his tattoo master bullying Ignis, just because he was a Scientia. Ignis was fighting battles in the dark, did things Gladio may not even think about, and all he got for it was more fighting.

It wasn’t like Gladio pitied him, not at all. If anything he wished he could fight side by side with him. Only if he was just a little stronger...

“...was it him?” Ignis spoke then and once again Gladio was blinded by a screen of a phone. He grunted, squinting his eyes and felt a headache come his way. With sluggish movements, rubbing one eye, Gladio reached for the phone. “Was it this person?”

“Who the… what?” Gladio stuttered so helpfully as he was trying hard to see the picture on the screen. It was a photo of a man, taken that morning, on the streets somewhere in the city. In a few seconds Gladio also realized that it was the drunk who badmouthed Noct and who broke that glass against his face. Once again, something cold gripped Gladio. The card, Ignis’ current state, the photo. Something was off, something wasn’t right. He frowned down at the phone.

“Where did you get this?” he asked.

“I took it,” Ignis snapped. “Was it him?”

Gladio raised his gaze to look at Ignis again, trying to make sense of this hunch he had. He wished he had both eyes and less drugs in his body, and maybe a proper night’s sleep behind him, but he had to work with what he had here.

“If you took this you already know it was him,” Gladio started. Before he could even finish, Ignis took his phone back to tap at it again. His gaze flared up like a maniac’s for a moment. If anything, it scared Gladio the most.

He had seen that gaze a few times before. It was so upsetting, that the first time he was also drunk, yet, he remembered it. It was after that party they went together. The one where Ignis was being attacked and Gladio was ready to cut a bitch.

_ “You aren’t angry at what he said?” Gladio started suddenly. Ignis just raised an eyebrow at him. _

_ “I know it’s not true, so I’m not angry at him for what he said,” he answered. “But I’m angry at the fact he attacked me because of his own insecurity.”  _

_ “I could’ve broken all his bones y’kno,” Gladio muttered. It was true, he would have done it if he wasn’t as drunk either. _

_ “I know, Gladio,” Ignis’ voice was gentle as he stood his gaze. “And I could make his life a living hell. I know he’s weak, I know what cracks to pressure, who to talk to for him to be pushed into being more insecure, to the point where he won’t be able to do anything without confirmation from his mommy.” _

_ “Will you do it?” Gladio asked quietly after a moment of pause. _

Ignis never answered to him, but it took only a few weeks until that person in question had to quit the Royal Academy and completely disappeared from the public. Gladio could only wonder what could have happened.

“Iggy,” Gladio croaked then, his throat suddenly tight. He knew he had to do something, but he had no idea what, because he barely knew why exactly. “Wait, what- are you doing here again?”

“I just came to make sure it’s the right person,” Ignis answered.

Gladio for once realized that another thing off with Ignis was that he didn’t look at him. Not ever since he arrived. This time too, he turned to leave, probably through the window, because there was no way he waltzed inside the house through the front door this late. So Gladio reached to grab his arm to prevent him from leaving. He wanted Ignis by his side and not in a strange state like this. 

“Wait, wait, Iggy,” he started, wishing he could have all his wits with him now. But Gladio swore he will make sense of this even if it kills him. “What do you wanna do?!” There was no answer from Ignis, but he refused to look at Gladio once again staring at his shoulder instead. “You want to hurt this guy?”

“Why didn’t you report him? Why did you just let him walk away?!” Ignis snapped at the question.

“That’s because he’s just some sorry drunk jerk who happened to run into the future king’s shield! He’s not a fucking threat!” 

“So you don’t think I should break his limbs, and bury him alive for only as long to make him think he’ll die a few times a year?”

Gladio gaped, chills running down his spine even just thinking about that Ignis could really do that.

“Holy Astrals, no,” he whispered stunned, staring at Ignis wide eyed. “No,” he repeated just in case. His grip on Ignis’ arm tightened, probably to the point on bruising, but neither of them moved. “You could have done that without coming here to tell me,” Gladio realized.

Ignis ever so slowly raised his eyes to meet his. There it was, Gladio saw it. Anger. That anger that burned inside Ignis ever since Gladio got to know him. That fire that made him go on, that made him try to climb a tree he had just fallen from, that passion that made him rob a damned secret archive and use a Glaive and Gladio for leverage for it. That anger that protected Noctis from anything.

“You wanted me to stop you,” Gladio said, pulling Ignis closer. He squinted his one eye at him, feeling like he had just struck water in a desert. “Were you that angry at him for badmouthing Noct?”

“He also hurt you, Gladio,” Ignis retorted quietly, his lips forming a thin line, as if he was trying to keep something in.

“I made him hurt me,” Gladio frowned.

“If you wanted someone to hurt you, you should’ve come to me,” the last words were coming out broken as Ignis had no strength in him anymore. Gladio felt his arm go weak in his grip. His own hand started to shake too as he pulled Ignis to him, so he could put both arms around him. His body was so cold, and he was trembling as if it was the middle of winter in Gladio’s room.

“I missed you too, Ignis,” the Amicitia whispered against his neck. This is what felt off. The distant card, Ignis looking like he was going to have innocent blood on his shirt, that he took effort to come to Gladio’s room to tell him he’ll torture the guy who dared to hurt him, all was because Ignis tried to keep distance in a crisis and failing magnificently. “I’m glad you came to see me.”

With a sigh, Ignis melted into his embrace. His shoulders dropped, but his hands sneaked up on Gladio’s back, making him shiver at their cold touch.

He missed Ignis so, so much, even if they work together, even if they meet up a lot. Even then, Gladio missed him. He missed this. He missed being able to hold him, to have him by his side. 

“Won’t you stay?” Gladio asked, knowing it was a slim chance Ignis would say yes. But he had to ask, otherwise he would forever regret it.

“I… want to,” Ignis said, his cheek pressing against Gladio’s shoulder, as if he was trying to hide.

Gladio wondered if they are going to fight again, because every time either of them crossed that line between duty and… something else, they always ended up fighting. But this time, he was risking it willingly. If he could spend this few hours holding Ignis and knowing that he was by his side, knowing that he won’t go out hurting innocent people in his rage, then fine, he can have all the fights. Because honestly, this was how Gladio’s wishes should come true, always.

“Then come on,” Gladio said when neither of them moved and pulled Ignis to his bed. Just minutes ago he was ready to go out and train, but now all he wanted was to rest and maybe hold Ignis a little more. Somehow to his surprise, Ignis went with him without a word. It was ironic how they fell into a routine they never really had, settling against each other as if they had done this their whole lives. As if they are indeed together and not just pretending to. As if they never needed to keep distance.

Gladio didn’t bother to put clothes on, and Ignis didn’t undress aside from his shoes and set his glasses on the bedside table. His stay wasn’t supposed to be longer than a few hours, they both knew that. Maybe for this reason, Gladio was straining not to fall asleep, even if all his body wanted that. Now that he had Ignis by his side, in his bed, in his arms, he could have fallen asleep happily. But the thought of waking up alone just wasn't worth it. Because after that they will have to miss each other again, wouldn’t they?

“Iggy, you know that guy did nothing wrong, right?” Gladio muttered as he was still trying to keep his eyes open. He felt Ignis freeze in his arms.

“I know,” he said after a moment of silence. “I just needed to get angry at someone. Because I can’t just sit and do nothing while…” Ignis trailed off, and Gladio forced his eyes open to look into his face. Once again adoring the sight that welcomed him. Ignis may have looked exhausted and as if he needed a three days nap, but he was still beautiful. With his disheveled hair and sleepy eyes… Gladio once again wished he could wake up to this sight for the rest of his days.

“I thought you’ll be angry at  _ me _ ,” he chuckled weakly.

“I am, I’m furious,” Ignis sighed, and reached up to run his fingers down Gladio’s scar barely touching it. “But it’s… the first time I realized I could lose you.”

“As if,” Gladio snorted, though he fell silent. Because… truly. He had never thought something like this would ever happen. What if that guy wasn’t just a drunk, what if that guy was a daemon, a spy, an enemy… One bad step and it was all over. This is what his father was trying to tell him all his life. And this is what Ignis was apparently afraid of. “Sorry, Iggy, I was… an idiot.”

“I’m glad you realize that,” Ignis huffed, closing his eyes. Gladio watched him relax against his pillows, intently, looking out for any tremor or sign of exhaustion. Well, other than usual. But there were none. Ignis was good to go for another day. Ignis was fine, for now. They were both fine...

“You know, the reason I didn’t properly ask you to marry me…” Gladio started, without even giving permission to his mouth to speak, but his voice died in his throat when he realized what he was about to say.

“No, Gladio, you don’t have to…” Ignis told him quietly, opening his eyes to look at him. Gladio should have taken that chance to run away, but he didn’t. He shook his head and grabbed Ignis’ hand, to kiss his knuckles for strength.

“The reason is that I- I think you’d say no.”

There was a moment of pause, when Ignis just stared at him, looking like a deer in headlights. Gladio knew this wasn’t the right time for any of this stuff, to lay it on him, but he had to. Because maybe, in the future, he won’t have the time for it. Or the occasion. They were here and now, together, and Gladio wanted Ignis to know it all, so he won’t have any regrets about loving him.

“If you knew then why are we still talking about it?” Ignis asked in a hollow voice, his eyes wide, staring at Gladio. He looked afraid, and he had a reason to: if this would go bad, they would lose each other in the worst way possible. Gladio hated to be the one person who could scare Ignis Scientia like this...

“It’s cuz I wanna,” Gladio insisted. “Cuz I want to ask you to marry me at the right time, when you can say yes.”

“How do you know I’d ever say yes?” Ignis asked in amused disbelief.

“I just know.” Ignis pursed his lip in silence. “I’m serious Iggy, I’ll ask you again, when the time’s right and you can answer me.”

“What if I say no at the right time?” Ignis asked.

“Then it wasn’t the right time, and I’m gonna ask again.” Gladio knew it was dumb. The dumbest thing he had ever said. The dumbest thing he ever swore in his life. “Even if it’s years from here, decades, aeons…” he chuckled.

“You must be still full with painkillers,” Ignis shook his head, but that smile, that smile was there on his lips. Still. 

“Then come and ask me tomorrow, or after tomorrow, if I still mean it. Six, if you want I could give you a call every day to tell you exactly what I said before. That I want to marry you, Ignis,” Gladio rambled, feeling heat build up in his chest. Feeling raw from something primal, something that fueled his pride and soul the same time. Something he always felt, but now, rambling about it to Ignis Scientia seemed to make it ever worse.

“How about, the morning before I go?” Ignis said, moving a hand to press his finger against Gladio’s lips to silence him. The other just nodded, and took Ignis hand to press it against his chest, as if he would swear an oath. Maybe he did too; to not be a coward anymore.

After their talk, Gladio really couldn’t keep awake. He slept way into the morning, almost until noon. He was never woken up, though he swore he dreamed about a kiss Ignis gave him. But he never asked him anything, so Gladio couldn’t tell him that he would ask to marry him again. It was a strange realization, mostly that maybe Gladio wasn’t the only one who was afraid.

\--

_ Gladio often wondered if anything that happened to them during their childhood years were real at all. After the Crown City fell, it felt like everything went with it. Of course, Gladio was still Crownsguard, still serving King Noctis, but as time went by he had to accept the fact that everything had changed, and they were on their own to build something from the ashes. _

_ The ten years of darkness. Then Noctis’ death. There was no longer any prophecy, there was no Lucis, there was only the future. And Gladio often thought that while they indeed helped build that future, they weren’t a part of it. They were relics of the old, warning the young to not make the same mistakes. _

_ After all those years, Gladio wondered even more, if that time in the Citadel was real at all. Though, whenever he had doubts, there were people to remind him that the Citadel was real, and everything that happened there was shaping him in the most subtle ways. He often reminisced with Iris about their childhood, talked with Talcott about his grandfather, and Gladio made frequent visits to his father’s grave too. _

_ However, there was someone else who reminded him in the most cruel way that they had a life before all the world fell. Before it all crumbled. _

_ It was more often than not Gladio woke up to noises terribly early in the morning, ready to draw a sword and fight daemons. Sometimes, it was only his own demons, other times, it was Ignis. Ignis who was awake, and knocked over the bedside table again, because he thought he was in a different room. He was blind, but these nights he saw a room different from what they shared with Gladio in the New Citadel. Sometimes Gladio could bring him back in time, sometimes he would find him with disheveled nightclothes and hair, holding a dagger and fighting something only he could see. _

_ Ignis was the most capable of them all, but it came with a price. Part of him still lived in the old city, with his family. He often said that he rebelled against his family, that he went against them, but Gladio saw the ways the Scientias still had a grip on him, even after all those years. Ignis was raised to be a dagger of the king, but once there was no king, what would a lone dagger do? They rust. _

_ Gladio was the Shield of the people, but Ignis was for the royal family only. Watching him struggle with that made Gladio angry. At Lucis, at the Scientias. Because the love of his life decayed in front of his eyes without him being able to do anything to prevent it. So Gladio tried to remind Ignis of the good that happened, and not the torture he had to go through. He reminded him of the tree in the Citadel gardens they climbed a lot, the tree Ignis fell from. He reminded Ignis of all their stupid bets and games. He reminded Ignis of the sleepovers at Noctis, playing games and eating junk food Ignis never approved of. Gladio liked to remind Ignis of their trip to Altissia, the parts where they forgot just a moment why they were there. When Noctis was fishing, or when they could wander the streets of Lestallum for a few hours in peace. _

_ “I’m the happiest man alive that I still have you by my side, Gladio,” Ignis told him after a particularly rough night. _

_ “Even if I make the worst coffee?” the other joked, handing the mug to Ignis before he would join him in bed for their usual breakfast in bed. Gladio loved the soft smile pulling at Ignis’ scarred lips. _

_ “Are you happy with me too?” Ignis asked quietly, holding onto his coffee a bit tighter. Gladio sighed, gently leaning his shoulder against the other’s. _

_ “Iggy, if I could, I’d marry you again.” _

_ “How do you know I’d say yes again?” Ignis chuckled a little. _

_ “Then it wouldn’t be the right time,” Gladio grinned. “Then I’d ask you again, and again, until it’s the right time. Even if it takes aeons.” _

_ The world may have changed, Gladio realized, but they haven’t a bit. He still loved Ignis with all his heart, and Ignis loved him too, Gladio was sure of that. They were still fighting, but they were still here, alive, and going on. And that made him the happiest of all. _


	22. Chapter 21

The report was in Ignis’ hand way before it reached the other officials at the Citadel: Gladio was attacked. Though reading through the information, it was clear that he wasn’t attacked per se, more like he was getting into a fight. With Noctis there too.

At first, Ignis felt furious about it, because how come Gladio had the guts to take Noctis out drinking and then  _ drink himself too.  _ There were unwritten rules about sneaking the Crown Prince out of the Citadel and that was one. Apparently, not in Gladio’s book it wasn’t written at all.

Ignis’ very first thing was to go to Noctis who was pretty shaken about the whole thing and Ignis couldn’t help to remember that one other time Noctis came back from a trip to the city a bit sadder than usual. It was long ago, they were all kids and yet… The city was still a different thing for princes after all. After Ignis made sure that Noct was fine, well, as fine as he could be, he went to tend to the other matters: Gladio’s attacker.

It took Ignis hours to hunt down the guy who did it, because apparently Gladio did not file a report, neither did Noct. It wasn’t an enemy, it was just an immigrant recently losing a job and finding the worst possible target to release his anger at. Yet, Ignis couldn’t help to obsess over it. He couldn’t concentrate on anything, just to gather as much information about the man as possible. In a few hours he knew more about him than his own mother… Ignis had everything at hand to go and destroy that man’s life and he indeed set out to do just that.

Yet, his first way led to the Amicitia house, just to check on Gladio, he told himself. But look, how that ended…

Ignis was sitting in a taxi, going back to his apartment at the crack of dawn, with completely different thoughts in his head than just a few hours ago. A few hours ago he was ready to cut a bitch and bleed them dry so he can ease that anger and desperation he suddenly felt, just by the thought of someone scarring Gladio for life. It scared him, because he wasn’t like that. He wasn’t supposed to be like the members of his family, who would do this without thinking, who would take out anyone they wanted. Ignis could have forged a report about the man being a threat to the royal family and do as he wanted, yet… he went to Gladio. And Gladio told him not to do it.

Now that Ignis was calmer a little, he realized why he went to the Amicita rather than execute the plan: he knew that the man did nothing wrong, that he didn’t deserve what Ignis planned for him, and Gladio protected him. Because Gladio’s heart was at the right place, his sense of duty, even when injured and hurt, was on the right side, and Ignis needed that to force him out of his rage. Gladio realized it, Gladio knew that Ignis went to visit him to stop him, way before Ignis realized.

He once went ahead to selfishly take someone out of his own jurisdiction. It was one of their schoolmates, the one who bullied him once at a party. It should have been enough that Gladio basically beat him into a pulp, yet Ignis didn’t rest until the guy turned into a shut-in, never leaving his home, ever. Ignis went rouge with him, and ever since then he realized that no one would stop him if he would do something similar again. He realized what Sir Foedus told him just before he killed him: that he could do anything he wanted and no one could or would stop him.

Then there was Gladio, who told him not to do it, and that was all Ignis needed. Because he knew it was the right thing to do, yet the power he had made it difficult to see that...

Maybe that was the reason they were still pulling toward each other in crisis, Ignis thought to himself as he was looking out the window at the slowly awakening city. So they could ground each other when everything else failed.

Though Gladio also said something else, too.

“ _ Cuz I want to ask you to marry me at the right time, when you can say yes. _ ”

Whenever Gladio was high on drugs he tended to say these things: ‘Marry me, Ignis’.

How painful it was to hear it. Especially after the night Ignis went through, when he had to once again realize the worst way possible how important Gladio was to him. But how could he think of taking any of what Gladio wanted to offer him, when Ignis wasn’t sure he could give anything in return? When he wasn’t a shield, but a dagger raised to be a monster. Even if it was all for Noctis, for the future king of Lucis, Ignis knew that he had no such brakes on as Gladio.

It was ironic, how in the end, he indeed became just like his family. Someone who would stop at nothing to do his mission. Let it be for the right or wrong causes. Ignis wasn’t proud of himself, for considering going after a man just because he scared Noctis and laid a finger on Gladio. An otherwise completely innocent man. What if he did it? Gladio would have never forgiven him… 

And even with all that, even knowing that he shouldn’t be happy, Ignis couldn’t stop his heart fluttering at the words of love. What kind of messed up magic was that? He knew Gladio felt for him, and he knew he most probably still wanted to marry him, and yet him saying it out loud was different. It made it clear. It made it real. And Ignis said nothing in return. How could he?

\--

Gladio recovered in a few days, though the scar remained. Making Ignis remember his own rage, but also Gladio’s words every time he met him on the hallways of the Citadel. At his relief Gladio did not bring any of that up anymore. He didn’t try to fight Ignis again. It felt like a defeat, however. So Ignis tried his best to busy himself with work, which there was plenty of. Noct graduated and Ignis was trying to make a plan that could get him more time to figure himself out before he would start to shadow His Majesty and begin taking over his duties. Because Noctis wasn’t ready yet, Noctis needed time and Ignis was willing to give him that. Not just because of him one day becoming a king, but because for Noctis himself too. Ignis just wanted to see him happy, and it started to become a more difficult wish as time went by. As the war raged on. As His Majesty was slowly getting weaker.

One day, King Regis had called Ignis into his study. It wasn’t a rare thing for them to discuss some matters in such a way. King Regis seemed to trust him to provide Scientia intel and also, he more often than not asked about Noctis. This time too, Ignis did not think much of it. Though when he arrived to the study early morning, he found King Regis in a strange mood.

The king was sitting behind his desk, seemingly immersed in his thoughts. He looked far older than he supposed to be and that broke Ignis’ heart. In a way, the king was also like a father to him, and seeing him in such a shape was difficult.

“Good morning, Your Majesty,” Ignis called quietly as he walked up to the desk holding his notebook in his hands. “Shall I come back another time?” he offered when the king looked at him.

“Oh Ignis, no, there’s no better time than now,” he smiled, waving his hand as if he also would like to wave some dark thoughts. “Have a seat. How are you lately?”

“Thank you for asking, I’m doing well,” Ignis nodded with a small smile on his lips too,a s he found his seat in front of the king’s desk.

“I heard you still work late in your office, even if I told you to get some sleep already,” Regis raised a playful eyebrow at him.

“As long as there’s coffee, I’ll be fine.”

The king chuckled softly, if not tired as he turned his gaze toward the windows of his study. He let out a short sigh, as if he was preparing for something. Ignis couldn’t help to think that the issue he was trying to bring up may be a bit heavier than usual.

“I suppose you’ve heard about the prophecy, Ignis,” he started. “About the Chosen King.”

Ignis frowned, tilting his head to the side as he was sorting all the information he had about it.

“Yes,” he answered. The prophecy that said that one day a Chosen King will come to bring back the light. The Crystal was guarded by the Lucis family until that time would come. Noctis was only a few years old when the Crystal had chosen him as the King of Light, the one who will bring back the light. If Ignis was honest, he couldn’t exactly take all that seriously. There were no facts about it, the title meant nothing to him as far as his job was concerned. Yet, every time he had to pass the Hall of History and looked at the paintings there, he felt a strange kind of sadness in him. Something he could never explain.

“The Crystal has chosen Noctis,” King Regis said, with a sigh. “I suppose the ones who needed to know are already aware of that,” he added, probably mostly to himself. Ignis pursed his lips, listening intently. Why would King Regis bring this up suddenly? “However, what I’m going to tell you, Ignis, no one knows.”

“Your Majesty?” Ignis frowned, when the king once again fell silent.

“The Astrals have once again talked to me about the future, about the fate of Insomnia and with that, of Noctis’,” King Regis spoke in a heavy voice. “Soon Noctis won’t be safe here. He may have to leave, far beyond the Wall.”

The thought of Noctis being outside the Wall filled Ignis with a kind of dread he had never felt before. What did the Astrals tell the king that he thought that Noctis outside the wall would be safer? His grip on his notebook tightened, his eyes intense on his king, listening to his every word.

“The Chosen King is the True King, the King of Light… the Last King of the Lucii,” King Regis recited, and looked at Ignis at last. His expression changed from a sad father’s to a true king’s. “The Last King of the Lucii will be the vessel of the power granted to him by the Crystal and by the ring, to defeat darkness.”

“Your Majesty, I don’t…” Ignis started, wanting to say he doesn’t understand what it all means. He was working better with facts and not prophecies and fairy tales. Yet, there was his king, telling him about Noctis’ fate outside the Wall. Noctis, who was… the Last King of the Lucii.

The Last King. A vessel…

“Noctis has a fate nothing and no one can change, and I want you to know this, Ignis,” the king spoke once again. “There will be a time, very soon, when Noctis has to leave and he can’t be alone on his journey.”

“I understand,” Ignis nodded, his throat going dry as his heart was trying to run away. He wished all this mysterious talk would be just some kind of joke, or an exaggeration. He hated that there were no concrete facts about it, nothing he could grip at, only the words of His Majesty. Only belief.

“I wanted you to know this Ignis, before I ask you once again, to be by my son’s side,” His Majesty said. “Because I can’t put this on your shoulders without you knowing everything.”

“Your Majesty, with all due respect, I chose to stand by Noctis, no matter what,” Ignis retorted, his voice clear as day. More clear than he felt his mind. However, this was the only thing he knew for sure. “It doesn’t matter through what kind of fate, war, or prophecy, I chose him and I will be by his side for as long as I have blood in my body.”

“Thank you, Ignis, your devotion makes this burden on my soul just a bit lighter,” King Regis smiled, casting his gaze down. Once again, the lines of his face feepend, making him look wearier than before. And Ignis now could see why. If this was a secret he had to bear, there could be many others there and carrying them must have taken a toll on him too. Ignis couldn’t even imagine what it could be like being the King of Lucii, in the middle of a war, with a son that was chosen by the Astrals as the King of Light.

On his way back to his office, Ignis felt a little lightheaded, as if he was coming down with a cold. Without realizing he took his way toward the Hall of History, to look at that painting once again in a new light. Now that the prophecy wasn’t a fairy tale anymore, but a warning, it hit differently. Ignis stopped in the middle of the hall, looking up at the huge painting, and the more he looked, the more he wanted to burn it. The more he wanted to tear it down and call bullshit on all that he just heard.

The Last King of the Lucii? It can’t be right. It can’t be right…

The more Ignis thought about it, the worse it got. As if he was just slowly realizing what it could actually mean. He was trying to tell himself that it hadn’t happened yet, that it could be just some over exaggeration of the words. Or something. Anything. Though the next thing he knew that he was hurrying to find the nearest restroom, because his stomach literally couldn’t handle the thought of such things. The thought of Noctis being… No, he couldn’t even think about it.

Ignis took his fair time retching over a toilet bowl, as if his body physically was trying to get rid of all of what he had heard. But it wasn’t like bad food, he couldn’t just puke it out to get better. He had to live with this now. He chose to live with this, and chose to stand by Noctis’ side, even knowing his fate. Because he was the most precious to him. Noctis was the first who Ignis thought as family. Noctis was his first friend, and his only brother. In a way, Noctis made him what he was. Everything Ignis did in his life was for Noctis’ sake. And now they tell him that Noctis’ fate was to be  _ a vessel _ ?

In those novels Gladio sometimes lent him, or in those games Prompto and Noctis played they always told about sacrificing one’s self for the other people, to save lives, to ‘bring the light’ was presented as something noble, a kind of example for everyone to follow. Ignis always hated fiction, it didn’t make sense; the characters never made sense, they acted out of line and they… everything fell in place for them. Right now, he hated those stories even more. Because they were glazing over the fact that losing the most important person to him, no matter why, was painful. For other people? Screw those people… Screw the whole of Lucis. Fuck. Them. All.

Ignis’ head was in such a messy state that it was a miracle he heard the knock on the door of the stall.

“Occupied,” he croaked out, with his throat burning and eyes full with tears, still kneeling over the toilet.

“I know, I just wanted to know if you’re okay?”

Ignis frowned, raising his head to wipe his mouth, as he was slowly realizing who that voice belonged to.

“Nyx?”

“Good, so you’re still sane, I was worried for a moment there. Do you want some ginger ale or something? Had a hard night?” The Glaive’s light tone was like a balm to Ignis’ nerves. It put a tap on his destructive thoughts and let him breathe just a moment. He didn’t answer immediately, but let himself just rest a little.

“Something like that,” Ignis groaned at last, sitting back and pressing his back against the side of the stall. His mouth tasted like bile and he felt like he was just being buried alive. He truly didn’t want anyone to see him like this, but he knew he won’t get rid of Nyx that easily.

“Something happened?”

Not yet, Ignis wanted to say, but in the end just sighed and pushed himself up to stand. He stumbled out of the stall so badly that Nyx had to hold his elbow so he won’t fall.

“Work, I suppose,” Ignis answered as he was getting to the sinks with the help of the Glaive. “How come you’re here?”

“Had some business around, then next thing I see you bolt by me here and I got worried, Scientia,” Nyx huffed, leaning his hips against the counter. He was growing a lot these years as he was serving as a Glaive too. He had gotten taller, and stronger, Ignis noted. Such a fine first crush if he had to say so himself, and that’s why it hurt that Nyx was seeing him at an absolute low point in his life.

“I apologize, I didn’t see you there…” Ignis said, before he rinsed his mouth and washed his face.

“You’re trying to deal with something alone again, aren’t you?” Nyx asked in a snort. Ignis hated how the Glaive once again just went for the kill without holding back. So he didn’t answer. “Hey, I have a few hours to spare, how about we get some snacks from the kitchen and talk?”

“I can’t really talk about it…”

“There must be parts you can talk about,” Nyx shrugged. “You game?”

Ignis looked up at his reflection in the mirror, hating the sight of it. So in the end, he nodded. Though Nyx told him to wait for him in his office while he gets the snacks. Which was a blessing, because truly Ignis didn’t want to encounter more people while he looked like he was just raised from the dead. So he locked the door of his office once Nyx was back with ginger ale and biscuits. Not something Ignis would have chosen, but it will have to do now.

“Thank you Nyx,” Ignis couldn’t help to say, sitting on the couch of his office.

“Don’t mention it,” the Glaive waived. “So what’s up? Tell me everything you can, because I’ll be deployed again next week. I need all the fresh gossip to keep me going.”

“You’re being sent away more and more lately…” Ignis couldn’t help to remark.

“Well, the Nilfs are also acting up, so,” Nyx shrugged. “At least it makes me feel like I can do something, you know?”

Ignis knew. He wished he could do more, too. But he knew his place was here, by Noct’s side. Though, maybe not for long. Maybe he will have to go places where Nyx was before…

“Nyx, how can you go out there, again and again… knowing that some of you may not come back?”

“Huh,” Nyx chuckled, leaning back in his chair. He looked at the soda can he was holding, as if it just said a silly joke to him. “Right. That’s the question, isn’t it? It’s called duty, Scientia.”

“But that’s…” Ignis huffed, shaking his head.

“Bullshit, right?” Nyx laughed. “Well, it’s just the easiest to say, you see. Duty. But I guess it’s something more,” he sighed, taking a sip from his ginger ale. “You know, they call me ‘hero’ lately. Now, I’m not saying that to boast, but it’s pretty cool.”

Ignis couldn’t help to chuckle, looking at Nyx. He still couldn’t get it. This Glaive had seen what war truly was. He had lost comrades, friends, family… and yet, he was still going out there, he was still fighting. Ignis thought he could do that too. But now that Noctis was involved, he had to think about it again, and right now, he didn’t feel strength for it at all.

“They think I’m a hero, but I just do what I think is right. On the field, you don’t have time to think of yourself, you think about the others, about saving lives. I’m going into battle with the will to save lives, and I act like that too. Of course I want to beat the shit out of the Nilfs too, but that’s just a plus. It’s a part of my duty. The duty I set for myself.”

“But if you surely knew that in a battle, you’d lose someone, what would you do?” Ignis asked.

“All right, coming with the tricky questions, huh. Do I know who it's gonna be, or I don’t?” Nyx asked back, raising an eyebrow, treating this like a game.

“You know,” Ignis answered after a pause.

“Oh, that’s easier then,” the Glaive smiled happily. “I’d spend as much time with them as I can. I’d make as many happy memories as I can. Then I’d go into battle and try my everything to save them, because maybe there’s still a chance I could.”

“Even if their death is sure?”

“Even then, because why wouldn’t I try? What’s stopping me?”

Ignis stared at Nyx. How come he always had the most simple answers to every problem? And somehow, when Nyx said it, it made sense. Sense, which Ignis needed after all that prophecy bullshit.

“Nothing, nothing’s stopping you,” Ignis smiled a little. Nyx smiled at him too, maybe even relieved a little.

“Though, I’m not saying it’s easy,” the Glaive added. “It’s not. I know some of my buds don’t have it in them either. But that’s fine, you know. Not everyone has to be a hero, not everyone should. Otherwise, who would be left to care for the ones that were saved, huh?”

Ignis frowned, thinking about those words. Otherwise who would care about the ones who’re left behind?

“I heard some idiots say, that if you don’t die on the battlefield, you’re a coward,” Nyx huffed then, tapping his foot a bit angrily. “But we fight to come back from that battlefield, to the ones we love. Picking up the pieces, you see, that needs more bravery and devotion. Heros die, but the rest live, they are the ones who have to miss the heroes.” 

“So are you saying you’re just taking the easy way, by being reckless out there?” Ignis teased weakly, feeling overwhelmed by what he just heard.

“Yeah, could be,” Nyx chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. “I don’t even know what I’m saying half of the time, Scienta. I’m just an immigrant from Galahd.”

“Now now, don’t insult my gossip buddy here,” Ignis huffed. The Glaive just grinned at him, holding up his bottle in a cheer. “Thank you, Nyx, for the talk.”

“Don’t mention it.”

After Nyx had to leave, Ignis also decided that he would try to cut his day short. He called Noctis, asking him if he wanted anything for dinner, because how could he not? Gladio sometimes told him he was spoiling Noctis, which was so not true, really. Though maybe Ignis will start to spoil him just a little more… Because how could he not?

Noctis asked for pizza and Ignis accepted that request without argument. It was a nice, easy food to make. It would also give him time to try and have a shot at the dessert from Noct’s childhood. Since it had been a long time he presented him with any. He usually made them when Noctis was in a bad mood, but Ignis figured for once he could prepare them when he himself felt a little out of it too.

\--

Noctis was taking the dessert and took a bite, but Ignis knew he won’t find it the same as he had back in Tenebrae. But that was fine, the crust was good this time, but the filling had a different sweetness to it. It needed different fruit, then. It was something. At least Ignis could boil it down to that: the filling was always off lately. Maybe it had something they only had in Tenebrae?

As Ignis watched Noctis still munch on his food, he wondered about what he himself was thinking about being the Chosen King. He had known that ever since he was a child, told it to Ignis a few times too, but always with bitterness. Ignis never really asked him about it, because it wasn’t real to him. It was something his father scared Noctis with, and not something that actually mattered. Well, it happened it was the only thing that mattered, and Ignis couldn’t help to wonder what Noctis was thinking about it. If he knew his fate at all… 

Though, maybe Noctis wasn’t talking about it to Ignis, but to someone else definitely. To Lady Lunafreya for sure. Ignis never looked into that notebook, he felt like he had no right to, but sometimes Noctis told him what he wrote to Luna. Though there must have been so much more to it. Noctis was bad with words, but he was always soft for Luna and Ignis knew he tried for her. Ignis also hoped she was doing a better job maintaining Noctis’ fears about being Chosen than anyone in the Citadel. Maybe the only person who did, really.

“Would you like to stay tonight?” Noctis asked suddenly. Ignis set his glasses to try and get rid of the nervous tremor his hands had suddenly.

“I have work to do, maybe a few days later?” he asked. He would have loved nothing more to stay with Noctis, but he didn’t trust himself tonight. Nights were unpredictable and Ignis didn’t want to deal anything that would go down with Noctis so close. He didn’t want to worry him.

“Okay, but promise!” Noctis huffed, stuffing his mouth with food.

“Promise,” Ignis said softly.

Alright, maybe Noctis suspected something about his mood, because he was just looking at him over the coffee table where Ignis sat on the couch. He looked like he was about to say something, but he never did. And this time, Ignis was thankful for that.

Leaving Noctis’ apartment, Ignis felt a little calmer. Noctis was fine, he was still himself, he was still struggling to grow up, to take on the responsibilities his father and the nation put to him. Yet distracting himself with friends and silly mistakes and all in all just being alive. And he’ll live for as long as Ignis was there to make sure of it.

\--

The night indeed wasn’t going easy on Ignis. He planned to work, to write up some reports to catch up on some things, yet, he kept waking up from nightmares by his desk. No coffee helped. Vodka neither. Soon he couldn’t concentrate on reading anymore, and writing was even worse. After a while all he could do was to try and hold it together, sitting by his desk over his reports. He couldn’t stop thinking about Noctis, about him eating the dessert Ignis still couldn’t make him properly, about him playing video games with Prompto, talking about some movie that will be released soon. Or how Noctis always seemed to know when a storm was coming and demanded a three course meal on that day, that made Ignis work so long he had to stay the night in his apartment. All those things.

Sometime late in the night, or early in the morning, it wasn’t Noctis’ voice, but Nyx’s that Ignis heard.

_ “You’re trying to deal with something alone again, aren’t you?” _

Ignis couldn’t help to laugh at his own misery, because the Nyx in his memories was right. He once again was trying to deal with this alone. It never went well… did it? Right when he decided that he may need some help here, Ignis was reminded of another voice.

_ “Marry me, Ignis.” _

“At three in the morning?” Ignis asked out loud, rubbing his eyes. He felt his muscles heavy, his head was going thousand miles per hour and he just wanted to hang onto something so all this won’t make him collapse once again. And if that something was getting his phone and calling Gladio then let it be.

He won’t pick up at this time anyway…

“I thought you’d never call,” Gladio said without even greeting him. His voice sounded rough from sleep, but still, he was awake and this ungodly hour.

Ignis frowned heavily, because for a moment he didn’t even understand what Gladio was saying. He knew he’d call him?

“Nyx told me you were unwell today,” the Amicitia explained.

“Oh,” came the smart answer from Ignis’ lips. He’ll kick Nyx’s ass for gossiping about him with Gladio. How dared he.

“What’s wrong?”

“Gladio, do you still want to ask me?”

“... Yes. I want to ask you to marry me, still.”

The world will end soon. There will be darkness. Those things that were beyond the Wall will come to them. A different kind of war was ahead of them. And yet, all Ignis could think about that if he’ll be able to say yes to Gladio when he’d ask him again. If he’ll be able to tell him that his mind and body is Noctis’, but Gladio had his heart. 

“I’d like to see you,” Ignis heard himself say.

“‘I’ll come over, hang in there,” Gladio retorted, and Ignis could already hear some rustling noises.

“Wait, wait you don’t-” Ignis tried, but Gladio already cut the call. With a huff Ignis called him again.

“Listen, if you keep calling me I can’t get ready! I’ll be there whatever it takes, now let me get dressed. I won’t pick up from here, got it!?” Gladio yelled then hung up again.

“But-!” Ignis tried, but of course Gladio hung up, and didn’t pick up again, just like he said. Even if Ignis just wanted to ask him how did he know he’s at his apartment at all. Just to tease him.

It didn’t take much, and Gladio was indeed ringing his doorbell. It felt like a dream, still, one of those nightmares that would start good and end terribly. That’s why Ignis just stared at the big guy at his door, without even saying anything or inviting him in. Gladio was out of breath, holding a plastic bag in one hand, full with cup noodles. Probably the epitome of him trying to take care of someone.

“Can I come in?” he asked a little unsure, seeing Ignis being stunned at seeing him.

“Yes.”

Ignis’ voice was rough and he felt like he was swallowing burning stones as he took a step back to let Gladio in. Seeing him, and feeling his warmth so close, getting a whiff of the scent of his clean clothes… all so ordinary, yet it felt like it was something Ignis was looking for all his life.

“Hey, come ‘ere,” Gladio chuckled and the next thing Ignis knew that he put his arms around him and pulled him into a hug. “You look really miserable Iggy, I’m glad you called me.”

“How did you know I’d call?” Ignis couldn’t help asking.

“Yeah, that… When Nyx told me you were sick, I just knew. Cuz, whenever shit hits the fan, somehow we end up together. Like this. Did you notice?”

Did they, Ignis wondered. Maybe. It just came naturally. Because fights were not only happening in training rooms, or battlefields, but in meeting rooms, studies, and the hallways of the Citadel too. And they were partners, having each other’s back, no matter in what kind of fight.

“I… suppose,” Ignis swallowed, burying his face into Gladio’s chest, taking a deep breath. He’ll one day marry this man, he knew that. One day. One day Gladio will ask him, and he’ll say yes.

“Wanna talk?” Gladio asked as he pulled away, to reach for Ignis’ chin, making him look at him.

“No.”

Gladio must have known his answer, because Ignis couldn’t even finish the word there were lips on his. Hot and sweet lips, tasting like Gladio. Ignis’ eyes fluttered shut as he pressed into it, letting out a relieved sigh. It’s been a long time he kissed Gladio; the last time on the day he got his scar. It was a few weeks already… yet It felt like a lifetime. And Ignis realized he didn’t want to wait that long to kiss him again.

“Take me to bed,” Ignis whispered, just to meet with Gladio’s low huff of laughter.

“As you wish.” With that, he slid his hand down on Ignis’ body, and picked him up with his thighs around his waist. Ignis grabbed on his shoulders, pressing against him as he was kissing into his neck while Gladio carried him.

“I love it when you do this,” he breathed into Gladio’s skin, feeling his tired body being filled with warmth once again.

“Love to do it, too,” the other smirked, squeezing Ignis’ ass as he walked.

Once Ignis’ back hit his sheets, he reached for Gladio to drag his sweatshirt off of him, so he could run his fingers down his chest, feeling the softness of his skin. Even in the dim light, the part of his tattoo on his chest was visible, making Ignis remember the time he sat with him, watching it being made. All those things on Gladio, Ignis was there to watch them - his tattoo, his scar, the lines on his face. He watched Gladio grow up; grow to be a man and someone precious to Ignis. The feeling made him overwhelmed in a way he didn’t expect and reached out to press his hand over Gladio’s heart.

“You’re beautiful, Iggy,” the man whispered as he took that hand, to lift it to his lips, to kiss at his fingertips one by one, making Ignis just a little short on breath. Gladio didn’t stop by his fingers, but kissed a trail toward Ignis’ neck, unbuttoning his pajamas to reach more of his skin. The care and softness he handled Ignis’ body with was not unusual for him, but Ignis had to realize it’s been a long time since they were together. Too long.

“Gladio,” Ignis moaned when the man reached his navel, licking it to tease him. Ignis grabbed at his hair, just when Gladio hooked his fingers into his pajama bottoms and pulled them low on his thighs.

“Here… marks are good, right?” Gladio asked, and for a moment Ignis had no idea what he was actually asking. But then Gladio went to press his lips against his inner thigh, sucking. Ignis jumped from surprise and sudden pleasure, his moan breaking halfway out of him.

“Yeah- yeah there-” he tried to say, but failed as Gladio took his sweet time to lick and suck a mark right where only Ignis would see the next day. It made Ignis’ knees weak, it made his body ache for more and yet howling with pleasure.

“... so sensitive today…” Ignis heard Gladio mutter against his abused skin, right before he turned his head to lick at his most sensitive spot. “Make me wanna tease you so bad…” 

“Don’t you dare, don’t you dare…” Ignis begged, because he didn’t feel enough strength in him to be subjected to what Gladio called teasing. He was already too riled up and too sensitive for his own good. Every touch of the other was so good it almost hurt… His grip on Gladio’s hair tightened, partly to give emphasis to his words and partly because the man lapped at the tip of his cock.

Gladio’s tongue existed to torture him, Ignis was sure when he felt it press against his hardness and travel up all the way in a wet, velvet sensation that made Ignis almot lose all his sanity. His hands stroked Ignis’ thighs as his mouth worked to make him wet, just before slipping him past his lips to give a taste of what more he could offer. Ignis wasn’t ashamed to arch his back and moan loudly, there was no point keeping it low anymore. His body was trembling from need that Gladio only gave him in drops and he loved it. He wanted more. He wanted Gladio and his tongue, his hands and everything of his.

Ignis only got a moment of break when he felt his pants pulled off his legs, just so Gladio can find his way between them again, teasing his entrance with a wet finger.

“Holdin’ on?” Gladio asked, as he hovered over him, leaning in to kiss his lips.

“Barely,” Ignis admitted as he pulled him down for more kisses, licking into his mouth to try and seek more of that sweetness he gave him.

“Yeah, same…” Gladio groaned as he slid two of his fingers inside. “It’s been so long, Iggy. Astrals I was thinking of you a lot. I missed you, I missed this,” he rambled, his fingers slowly sliding deeper, just to pull back, preparing Ignis for himself. “I wanna have you so bad, Iggy, I’m losin’ my mind here.”

“Me too,” Ignis panted, shifting his hips to get more of Gladio’s fingers, his hands stroking down his shoulders. “I missed you holding me, missed your taste on my tongue,” he said just to lose his breath at a third finger. He felt his cheeks burn, his heart race, because the way Gladio looked at him was just too much. But Ignis knew he liked to see him, liked to look at him, to claim him and call him his… “I’m ready, I’m- I’m ready,” Ignis breathed when he felt Gladio press at his sweet spot, making his body shudder with a jolt of pleasure.

Before Gladio could say anything, Ignis pushed at him to roll them over, pulling Gladio’s sweats and underwear down all the way. His mouth watered at the sight, so he stopped for a moment to adore those strong thighs in the small light of the room. If he was beautiful by Gladio’s standards, then Gladio was flat out breathtaking without clothes on. Ignis felt mesmerized as he moved to straddle his hips, grabbing at his hard and leaking cock. He so wanted to have a taste, but all he did was rubbing his finger over the tip, smearing precum all over it, before bringing his fingers to his mouth to lick it.

“Fuck,” Gladio’s guttural moan worth it all, and how he pushed himself up to reach for Ignis, kissing his still wet lips. “I get it about the teasing, Iggy, I get it…” he begged, too. Ignis just huffed a laugh, kissing him back before reaching for the lube to pour a generous amount on Gladio’s dick, spreading it slowly and elaborately. Because yes, he was trembling to have him inside already, but still he couldn’t help to feel it under his palms too. Heavy and hot, ready to claim him and Ignis was loving it.

Once Gladio was wet enough, Ignis put a hand on his shoulder to steady him, then grabbed him to hold him as he slowly lowered himself. As he slowly sat down, he bit at his lower lip, his eyes fluttering shut as the burning pleasure stretched him the best way possible. Oh, Gladio was huge, and he pressed at all the right spots, as if he was just made for Ignis’ pleasure.

“Ignis, oh Six, you feel so fucking good,” Gladio moaned into his neck, his hand grabbing at his ass with trembling fingers. “Gonna ride me until you come, yeah?”

“You want that?” Ignis asked, still seated unmoving on Gladio’s lap, even if all his body screamed at him to move.

“I do. Wanna watch you feel good.”

All the Astrals, Ignis didn’t want anything else either. So he slowly lifted his hips up, his thighs burning to keep it slow, and moved back down. It hurt the best way possible, making his body feel like liquid butter and his restraints were slowly breaking too.

“Yeah, yeah that’s it, that’s it,” Gladio panted as he pulled back to watch him, his hand grabbing and guiding Ignis’ ass on his cock, while he paced himself on the bed with his other arm. “Iggy…” he moaned, his lips parted and full, swollen from kisses.

“Gladio,” Ignis breathed, baring his teeth as he felt pleasure lick up his spine, turning into bites and then into a brewing storm. He was hard and leaking and every time he moved he felt all of Gladio’s cock inside him, filling him up in all the most sinful ways. When he felt it all too much, Ignis grabbed his hardness to stroke himself, a pleasure pained moan breaking from his throat.

“Ignis-” Gladio gasped at the sight, straining probably to keep up with Ignis. His hand sliding between Ignis’ cheeks, so he can press his fingertips where they were connected. It was such a small movement, yet so intimate that Ignis felt it the more erotic of all.

“I love you,” Ignis stuttered suddenly, his eyes closed so hard they were filled with tears. He heard Gladio saying something, but at that moment, his peak crushed down on him, like a heavy wave, knocking all the air out of his lungs. All Ignis could do is slide low on Gladio’s dick and fuck into his hand, giving into his primal need of pleasure. He could barely catch his breath after a mind blowing orgasm, because Gladio cupped his head in both hands and pulled him into a set of sloppy kisses with ‘I love you too’ peppered between them.

Ignis could only moan helplessly as he was slowly pulled off Gladio’s still hard cock. His limbs felt like they were made of lead, yet he felt strangely light. He didn’t resist when Gladio rolled him on his stomach and pulled up his hips. Ignis spread his thighs for him, giving a high moan as he felt Gladio slide into him again, with a hint of urgency and an obscene, wet sound.

“.... you’re so perfect, you’re the only… the only one… I love you, I’ll make you the happiest, Ignis, I promise, I promise to ya…” Gladio rambled right into his ear as he grinded against him in small, but sharp circles, making Ignis veins burn with his pleasure still, even if he was spent. He felt Gladio’s hands over his waist, on his chest, pull him tight to his body, draping over his back as he fucked into him with increasing urgency. He came with a sharp thrust, sliding deep inside Ignis, his body trembling with a force that shook Ignis too. Gladio’s moans were muffled by Ignis’ nape, his lips pressed hard against his skin, absently kissing at him as he came in waves, holding onto Ignis for dear life. After that, neither of them could move for a while, but in the end Gladio slowly pulled out.

Ignis shivered as he felt warm cum drip down his inner thigh, his own cock jumping in tired interest. But all he could do was to collapse onto the bed, and right a moment later, Gladio followed too. His hand dropped on Ignis’ ass again, his fingers sliding between his cheeks to feel him wet and filled. Once again, something that felt more intimate to Ignis than half of what they were just doing.

“Let’s do it again,” Ignis mumbled half asleep already.

“Hate to be the voice of reason here, Iggy, but you need to sleep,” Gladio retorted, sounding just as exhausted.

“Do it in the shower, sleep, then do it again?”

“That’s… ah, fuck it,” Gladio huffed and leaned over to nuzzle at Ignis’ cheek. “Sure,” he smiled, kissing into his ear.

They slept until noon, but only because Gladio managed to turn off Ignis’ alarm before he woke up to it, facing the tired rage of the other when he did wake up hours later. But Ignis also admitted he needed some rest, so they decided to go all the way and take the day off.

“Can’t you put some clothes on? They dried already,” Ignis asked as he watched Gladio prepare their lunch, which would be cup noodles. Yes, he insisted on them, not wanting Ignis to have to cook anything, because that also counted as work.

“I didn’t bother you last night,” Gladio winked from the kitchen counter, wearing only a pair of boxers.

“It makes me want to eat something other than cup noodles, and I actually want some work done today,” Ignis huffed, hating how he blushed red as a Lucian tomato. Gladio just laughed at him as he put his cup in front of him. “Thank you,” Ignis sighed, reaching for his utensils. Gladio also found a seat by his small kitchen table, once again filling all that space in the place.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened?” Gladio asked then, carefully.

Ignis froze, staring into his cup. King Regis never forbade him to tell anyone what he heard, but Ignis thought it would be easier if he kept it a secret for now. It will be easier, it will be… manageable. For now, it was enough that Gladio knew that he was carrying yet another secret with him. It was enough...

“Yes, one day I will,” he decided, looking up at Gladio, to tell him without words that he wasn’t lying. “In the meantime, would you like me to propose a new training guide for us? I was also thinking about offering Prompto some Crownsguard training.”

Now it was Gladio’s turn to stare. 

“You think he can handle that?” he asked at last.

“We can let him decide,” Ignis stated.

“Why so suddenly?”

“He always wanted to do more for Noctis, maybe we could help him.” Ignis suspected Gladio probably didn’t only ask about why Prompto’s training would come up. But why would they change their training at all. But Gladio didn’t answer, just looked up at Ignis, as if he wanted to read his mind. And for a moment Ignis was afraid he could. That he would see all the secrets, all the things he wanted to tell him, but this was still not the right time for it.

“Good idea,” Gladio agreed quietly, with a small smile and Ignis’ heart once again fluttered in his chest like a trapped bird.


	23. Chapter 22

It was difficult to focus on the reports Ignis was reading, while the communication room around him resembled more to a beehive. It has been like that for a few weeks now and Ignis spent much of his time there too instead of his office. The reason for that was that they were rapidly losing agents outside the wall under mysterious circumstances. Information had become more scarce to come in and very difficult to provide outside. Ignis once again suspected someone inside the wall helping to generate this chaos, but he had no idea where to start looking. Every trait he followed went cold and lately he had no leads at all. Meanwhile he was also trying to help the ones that were still trapped outside and showed signs of life. The Scientias needed all hands on deck, and even with that, it wasn’t going well.

“We should have known about that daemon they used, we should have known about something that huge!” Master Promus hissed at the reports from next to Ignis at the table. He looked worse and worse each day, and Ignis swore that the grey streak in his hair widened over the last few weeks too. Though, Ignis couldn’t help to agree with his outburst. That daemon he was talking about was a weapon of mass destruction, and it was a disgrace they knew nothing about it.

Ignis always paid special attention to the reports that were written about the Glaives, especially if they involved Nyx’s squad. He couldn’t help it, Nyx was a dear friend of his and he liked to know if he was coming back. That’s why reading their latest defeat was especially painful. The number of casualties, injuries, and apparently Nyx was also removed from being deployed again for a while, due to disobeying direct orders. Captain Drautos suggested gate duty for him, which indeed was the worst kind of punishment to someone like Nyx. Ignis, however, made a note to scream the Glaive’s head off too about being a ‘hero’ once again, but he barely found the time to visit Noctis, let alone anyone else.

“If they decide to attack now, we’re gonna lose all the Glaives,” Master Promus said, slamming close the dossier. Ignis wished he would have the strength for such outbursts too, but he felt numb with uncertainty. These were times when the most important things for them was scarce: information. It was like cutting off someone’s life support and letting them die. They were slowly being drained and suffocated.

“They won’t,” Master Sulla said, just arriving at their table. “They retreated right after the Glaives did. We have no information about any of their units on the move.”

“As if that means anything!” Promus hissed.

“It does,” Master Sulla glared at him. “It means they have other plans. It means we’ll hear about them soon. The king, too, ordered to call back all the agents from outside.”

“What?” Ignis asked in union with Master Promus.

“He believes that they will be needed in Insomnia,” Master Sulla said as if she didn’t agree with that statement. If Ignis was honest, he didn’t either. Those people were more useful outside the wall and not inside. “I think he’s planning something he won’t share with us. He did that before. Did he tell anything to the Amicitias?” she asked, looking at Ignis this time.

Ignis raised an eyebrow at her. Ever since Gladio’s presence had become more frequent around him his masters couldn’t help probing him for information about the Amicitia family. Ignis and Gladio’s affair was a secret, but not from the Scientias. Ignis knew he could never keep it a secret, but he can resist their demands of information, showing the family that he would not betray Gladio either.

“I’m not aware of such,” Ignis said, pointedly. Master Sulla only huffed, closing her eyes for a moment.

“But I hope if you have any-”

“If I have any relevant information, I will act accordingly.”

Ignis knew that in that room the only person who maybe trusted his word was Master Sulla, and that was enough for them. He hoped he could calm her down at least for a little while. The truth was that Gladio and the Amicitias knew nothing more than the Scientias.

After the retreat that shook the Kingsglaive, and the whole of Lucis too, Niflheim finally made its move in the most confusing way possible. The Chancellor himself had visited Insomnia, without any kind of escort. Due to the fact that the Scientias were blind outside the wall, they had little idea how the Chancellor even got this far without protection.

Ignis was still having nightmares about a person from Niflheim being in the throne room, and walking up to King Regis while everyone watched in stunned silence. He himself wasn’t there, but reading the reports just made it look even worse. As they expected, Niflheim came with a condition and a peace treaty. The conditions were outrageous and surprising. They basically declared victory over Lucis, by demanding the outskirts, and chaining the bloodline to them with the wedding. It was a horrible butchering of the kingdom and Ignis felt sick to his stomach reading the contract the first time. There was no way King Regis would accept such conditions… right?

The day after Ardyn Izunia’s visit, however, he was called into the royal office once again, accompanied by Master Sulla. This time they were not the only ones there, but Sir Clarus Amicitia, with Gladio, the Marshal Cor Leonis and Captain Drautos was also present. Once they were all there, King Regis had stood from his chair and addressed them all.

“I believe you all read the offer Niflheim had presented to us,” he started with a heavy sigh. “The reason I called you all here, is to tell you what I decided.”

“Without talking to the Council, Your Majesty?” Sir Amicitia started, worried and a little angry maybe. Apparently, His Majesty didn’t even discuss it with him either. Ignis exchanged a look with Master Sulla.

“The matter is time sensitive, and I made my choice. The Council will be consulted with, of course, in due time. But first, the most important thing… Prince Noctis will be sent to Altissia for the wedding. I do not wish them to marry in Insomnia.”

Ignis frowned; if Noctis was about to marry, then would the rest of the conditions be approved also?

“Your Majesty,” Captain Drautos started slowly, carefully. As if he was afraid to ask his question. “What about the rest of the demands of the Empire?”

“We will accept those,” King Regis said.

“Regis!” the Marshal and Sir Amicitia whispered into the stunned silence. “You can’t actually let them take it all…” Clarus said.

“Those people out there trust us to protect them! Now, you want to throw them to the enemy for this so-called peace?” the Marshal asked, his voice dripping with anger. “Without even consulting any of us?”

King Regis didn’t answer, because his answer was obvious. Ignis’ heart sank in his chest, watching his king intently. Because  _ how could he _ ? Matrona’s home was out there, Nyx’s birthplace was out there… now they are all going to be lost to the Empire.

“I’ll call the Council together soon and discuss the decision with them,” Regis turned to Clarus. “Until then, I want Noctis to be prepared for his journey to Altissia and preferably on his way days before the treaty signing.”

It was all about Noctis, Ignis realized. King Regis was bargaining his whole kingdom away, only to try and save Noctis. Was the prophecy really worth that?

“I call back all the members of the Kingsglaive, I want them to be in Insomnia. The Crownsguard must prepare to give protection to the civilians, and Marshal I’d like to request your assistance in that matter. We’ll discuss the operations in detail later. Master Sulla, I also want all the agents to be on sight.”

It sounded like King Regis was preparing for a battle, and it didn’t put either of them in the room at ease. Ignis spotted Gladio looking at his father, worried and still confused.

“Ignis,” King Regis spoke then. “Prepare Noctis for departure and report to me personally when you’re ready. I trust you know what to do.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Ignis nodded.

Only Sir Amicitia has remained in King Regis’ study after this short meeting. The rest of them left with a heavy heart. Captain Drautos picked up his pace to basically run down the hallway, away from them as soon as possible. Ignis had the suspicion that he wasn’t entirely running to start acting as his king ordered him, it was more like to get rid of his anger. Because how could he not feel outraged when his own king just gave away his homeland?

Master Sulla also didn’t look happy either. This wasn’t the way Scientias were fighting and they were being at a disadvantage here. Ignis also had the slight suspicion that she may also worry for other people outside the wall. Though it wasn’t that they knew much about each other.

“I hope we’ll know what the fuck he’s thinking soon, or I’m gonna go fucking mad,” Gladio hissed as he fell back to walk with Ignis.

“I have a feeling it’s a futile thing to wish from King Regis at this point,” Ignis huffed. He felt Gladio’s gaze on him then, before he spoke softly.

“Gonna be alright telling Noct? Want me to go with you?”

“I’d rather go alone, I don’t want to overwhelm him too much,” Ignis sighed, rubbing his neck. He was already nervous thinking about presenting all this to Noctis.

“I could come over after if you want. Call me,” Gladio added quietly, brushing his hand against Ignis’ for a moment, before hurrying away.

Once Ignis was also back in his office and made sure the door was locked, he took his phone. This time his fingers didn’t hesitate over Matrona’s name as he called her. She had to be informed that soon her home will be taken away too, that she was in danger along with the rest of the people there… Just the thought sent a shiver down Ignis’ spine.

“Matrona,” Ignis stuttered once the phone was picked up and no one greeted him. Even at his greeting, she didn’t say anything. “The Chancellor of Niflheim was here, they gave Lucis a peace treaty offer. Soon all the territories outside Insomnia will be Empire property. You’ll need to leave.”

“Ah, so that was their game,” Matrona spoke in her hoarse, tired voice. “It was only a matter of time.”

Ignis wished he could make her understand that this was serious, but she always had a different opinion on priorities.

“I gave Lucis everything I had, Niflheim can’t take any more from me,” she added.

“You still have your life,” Ignis couldn’t help to say, hating how his words trembled as they dropped from his lips.

“Don’t you think I won’t defend it, my child,” she sounded like she was smiling and Ignis wanted to see her. He wanted to see her in one of her clear moments, when she was determined, just so he could feel it too. Just to know how it was to be Matrona Scientia for a moment. “You have so much more you can give. You won’t even be asked to give, but they’ll take it. They're gonna take it all, Ignis.”

“This isn’t about me-”

“It is. You’re a good child, you’re my child, they took you too, but you fought your way back.” Ignis had no idea why his throat tightened, along with his chest. He gripped his phone so tight his hand shivered. “You can fight your way back again.”

Why did it feel like a goodbye, Ignis wondered in a slight panic.

“Be there for the little prince, he’ll bring the light. The rest doesn’t matter.”

Somehow it was such a Scientia thing to say. Yet, it helped Ignis focus. Matrona won’t leave his home, but she won’t go down without a fight either. That’s all Ignis had to know, that’s all they both could hope for. He said a quiet thank you before they hung up. Yet, Ignis still decided to call Matrona daily, just to hear her voice, even if it was only for a greeting.

\--

Ignis stayed and read the report to Noctis, talking through it in detail. The best Ignis could do for him at this point is to tell him everything about the treaty and about his father’s wishes about him marrying Lady Lunafreya in Altissia. Noctis was silent for a long time after they were done with the review, sitting on his couch and staring at the files. Ignis knew that it was a lot to handle.

“So I can finally meet Luna again,” Noctis spoke, softly and almost happily.

“Most certainly,” Ignis assured him and reached to tidy the papers on the coffee table. He heard Noctis sigh, as if he wanted to say something, but in the end, he didn’t. So Ignis prompted: “Is there anything you’d like to discuss about your departure?”

“Will you come with me?” Noctis asked after a moment of pause.

“Naturally. Gladio too,” Ignis nodded. “We’ve been assigned to escort you after all.” And even if it wasn’t the case, Ignis would have gone with Noctis without a word.

“Do you think… I could ask Prompto to come?”

“I’ve been meaning to suggest that too, indeed.”

Noctis let out a short sigh, looking away in thought. Ignis wished he could see what he was thinking about. If he was happy for the wedding, or if he was afraid, or if he was angry at his father for sending him away.

“I wonder if I can fish in the sea,” Noctis mused quietly.

“You’ll know soon enough. In a few weeks,” Ignis told him, seeing Noctis’ frown deepen just a tad. “Are you alright, Noct?”

“I am,” Noctis said, just a bit too loudly.

Ignis wondered if he should press the matter, but decided not to. He wanted to give Noctis space to think about the news and about what he wanted to do. Even if there was not much Noctis could do at this point, but to oblige to his father’s wishes. The only thing he made clear was that Prompto should be included amongst his escorts, and that he will take the Regalia for the road. The one request that made Regis smile the saddest, saying that that car could use a much needed check-up and that he knew a person who could do that for them. Outside the wall.

\--

As Ignis started to prepare for the trip with Noctis and the others, he had to realize it won’t be a short one. But if everything goes according to plan they would be back before they realized. Or Ignis hoped. However, he wasn’t a Scientia if he didn’t suspect something strange about all this. About how the agents and Glaives were systematically called back, about how their king seemingly prepared for a war inside the wall. And that is why he would send his only son away.

Ignis wished it wasn’t true. That it was just his daemons telling him to prepare for the worst.

The day after King Regis told his decision, Master Sulla had requested to see Ignis, but not in the communication room. Ignis was called into the piano room.

As Ignis walked the corridor toward the piano room, he had to realize that he was holding a strange grudge against it. His limbs felt jittery, his mouth dry as he was eying the door as if a Behemot would break through it any time. To all that anxiety Ignis reacted with anger. Because how come he was called here? How come he had to go into this room once again, instead of burning it all? He was a spymaster, to none other than Prince Noctis, a master on his own. Maybe his masters were still thinking of him as someone they can control? Someone they tried so hard to fail?

Ignis closed his eyes once he reached the door, collecting himself. It won’t do him any good if he entered this room with this mess in his head. So he took a deep breath, prepared himself and grabbed the doorknob.

Master Sulla was standing by the piano, just like the first time Ignis had seen her, when he was asked the three questions. Where he said yes to a life of lies and torture and dedication to a family he barely knew. They both had many long years behind them, and it must have taken a toll on her just as much as on Ignis.

She waited for the door to be closed, then straightened her back, looking Ignis over. Ignis narrowed his eyes, trying to see what was so important that they had to have a meeting at this terrible room. Maybe she was trying to get him to spill about the Amicitias again? Maybe something else?

“You’re… so much like her,” Master Sulla started a little distracted, as she looked over the piano. “Matrona, you’re like her. You didn’t even greet me, just trying to see why I called you here.”

Ignis wondered if that was all that made her compare him to Matrona. But didn’t say anything. His Master also kept her words to herself as she walked to the piano to sit down. She didn’t order Ignis to join her, yet, as if a built in response, Ignis did.

They sat by the piano, and Ignis wondered if this time he was the one who should play a song. But before he could even move his hands, Master Sulla did. She played a melody Ignis heard only once before, and that time it was her who played it too. It was at the time when Ignis had recovered from his collapse at the Amicitia house, after he had decided he won’t let the family control him ever again. After he swore loyalty, but his own damn way… 

The melody was different from the ones Ignis had to learn. It was too frivolous, too opinionated, too playful. Something someone would play out of joy rather than a different purpose. When a false note was hit Master Sulla stopped playing. Her hands remained on the keys however, trembling in a way Ignis was terribly familiar with.

“Still can’t play it well,” Master Sulla whispered. Ignis didn’t say anything, just looked down at the keys in front of him. Waiting. “It was Matrona who taught it to me. This piece.” Her voice was low, almost melancholic as she spoke. Then she just went and seemingly pressed random keys on the piano, as if she was in deep thought. Ignis watched those trembling fingers, slide over black and white, stopping here and there. “You also taught me something, just like her.”

Ignis frowned lightly, because what could he possibly had taught his Master? To one of the leaders of the family who were not listening to anyone?

“If we had more time, I suppose I should’ve tried helping you and redone some of the family’s traditions. So that people won’t think we’re monsters, so that we aren’t the villains in every bedtime story around the Citadel. But I suppose that’s for another lifetime.”

“Master Sulla…” Ignis couldn’t hide the shock in his voice. Because did she really imply that they won’t meet again after this?

“You must also agree that even if you return from that trip to Altissia, Insomnia won’t be the same again. If it will still be here,” she said. “We are prepared as much as we can be right now, but with the King also working against us, and with the Empire having all the firepower… all we can do is hope.”

“But you don’t seem to have much hope,” Ignis pointed out.

“No, not anymore,” Master Sulla admitted. “So, let’s say goodbye here, for now.”

Ignis didn’t say anything, as his throat suddenly tightened.

“I don’t suppose you have many happy memories with us, and that’s fine. We’re not the one for laughs and happiness. I do wonder if we ever were, to be honest,” Master Sulla said, starting to play the song again, slower this time. “The Lucii always used us for all their dirty work. For the acts no one dared to commit, because it would dirty their hands. They used us, took from us, took everything from us… And I know you think low of the family and it’s members, but after being treated like that, we only just wanted to take something back. We just wanted to feel like it all has a purpose other than being a tool. That’s why we sometimes act out of selfish reasons. That’s why we wanted to have as much control as we could.”

Her words made Ignis remember the conversation he had with Matrona on the very day King Regis had told them their plans. In a way, Ignis agreed, Lucis took a lot from them… But it’s a different matter when he was the one giving it, right?

“You’re not unlike us, if anything you’re everything a Scientia should be. But you didn’t take back, you continue to give to Lucis,” Master Sulla echoed Ignis’s thoughts. “You’re just like Matrona.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Ignis couldn’t help to ask.

“Depends,” Master Sulla replied. “I could never have as much dedication as you, or her. Not as much devotion… I suppose I haven’t found my reason for it. I had my own… reasons. Lucis has my talent, my time, but… everything else was for myself. Unlike you. Your soul, and heart is with Lucis. With Prince Noctis.”

Ignis tilted his head to try and see her expression. Was it a bad thing, he wanted to ask, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer.

“This is a goodbye, and a warning,” Master Sulla continued, her voice low and strained. “Don’t be like her, don’t… give it all. Don’t let them take everything, otherwise what’s going to be left of you? You want to end up like her?”

If anything, his teacher’s words showed one thing: she was worried. Not about Lucis, nor Insomnia, but for Ignis.

“I… “ Ignis started hesitantly. He always swore that he wouldn't ever show weakness in front of his teachers, not anymore, but this time, he was just at a loss for words. “I can’t promise anything.”

“You never could, you always had your own way with you,” Master Sulla chuckled a little bitter. “Prince Noctis is truly lucky.”

Is he, Ignis wondered. But he said nothing, as his heart was heavy. If anything he trusted his family’s intuitions about great matters. And this was one. If his master told him Insomnia will change after this trip, then it most certainly will. But as Nyx told him: he can always try to change the flow of fate, couldn’t he?

“Thank you for everything, Master Sulla” Ignis said instead, his hand raised to play the piano too, the song he had just heard. Just like when he was coming here to learn. “I’ll make sure to fight with everything I have outside the wall too. Is there anyone I should give your greetings on the trip?”

Master Sulla let out a soft huff, playing the song along with Ignis.

“Let that be my business, Ignis,” she said at last.

\--

During his last few weeks in Insomnia, Ignis had become busy with gathering as much information about the road to Altissia and maybe possible threats along the way. He overlocked Prompto’s preparations, led by the Marshal. While Ignis suggested that they may focus on self-defense, in some  _ mysterious  _ ways, Prompto also got _ a gun  _ and apparently he was doing a very good job with it. Ignis felt disturbed thinking about the reason why that could be the case, but for now Prompto’s talent with firearms was a huge relief in regard to the balance of their team. It was good news for Noctis too, because it qualified Prompto to become an honorary Crownsguard and receive the uniform, thus he could accompany them to Altissia.

The trip to Altissia wasn’t supposed to be long, nor the ride back. Officially, after Noctis and Lady Lunafreya’s wedding they could move to the Citadel and Noctis could finally take over his father’s duties. Officially. Ignis wished he could be as stupid to believe that it will go smoothly. Nothing went smoothly whenever Niflheim was involved, especially when Noctis was in the play too. Ignis couldn’t help to remember the time when Noctis was attacked, and had to be taken to Tenebrae after. It still haunted him in ways Ignis knew only little about. But the scars were there, and that’s when Noctis’ smile got tinted with that strange sadness Ignis hated to see. This time too, Ignis wondered just what kind of smile Noctis will put on after this all.

“I wish this peace you bring you some rest too, Ignis,” his Uncle remarked as he put his coffee in front of him, before sitting by the kitchen table too. They were both busy lately, but when Uncle asked Ignis for coffee, he could never say no. This time too, Ignis had no idea when they could sit down again and talk, especially after he leaves.

“I’m sure I’m not the only one disturbed about it,” Ignis had to admit, reaching for his cup.

“You don’t know when you’ll be back?”

“I have highly inaccurate estimates.”

His Uncle chuckled, shaking his head, as if he would still talk to a few years old Ignis, saying something only an adult would.

“Well, I hope you’ll be back soon. Things will certainly get boring without you stirring things up. I’m also sure some sloppiness will also show,” Casamus said, smiling.

“I’m not entirely sure if that’s a compliment or not,” Ignis teased quietly, with a smile. He looked into his cup, into the perfectly brewed coffee he’ll also miss while he was away. Of course Master Sulla’s words loomed over him, that maybe all this will be gone… “I’m not sure if I ever thanked you for everything you did for me, Uncle,” he added quietly.

“You talk like you don’t intend to come back,” his Uncle answered, his tone low, but his lips smiling.

“I was never outside the wall that far.” Maybe Ignis admitted he was afraid, but he didn’t mind. Casamus was his Uncle, he trusted him with everything after all. Even with his fears.

“Ignis,” Casamus smiled. “If you could make it inside these walls,” he motioned around the servants’ kitchen. “Then you can make it anywhere. What are a few daemons compared to Sir Gravis’ ridiculous demands about the utensils? Or the screaming Lady Comtus sometimes does over the state of the tablecloths?”

Ignis couldn’t help to huff a laugh, because yes. The everyday lives of the servants, of the ones that weren’t Scientia, but some ordinary people working at the Citadel. He was one of them for a long time, and even if the memories were bittersweet he still treasured them.

“And I’m sure you’ve handled worse in the family, too,” Casamus added, and Ignis smiled a little wider. Because this is what he can thank his Uncle for; for always supporting him, even if he only knew just a little of what was going on with Ignis. He never gave up on a silent, stubborn little boy, not even now.

“Thank you, Uncle,” Ignis couldn’t help to say. He wished he could do more for this man, to somehow show him just how much his support meant to him. But he’d have to think about that once he was back. Because they will be back...

\--

The day before the departure had arrived too fast and too slow. Too fast, because Ignis felt like that there were still a million things to still take care of, and slow, because of the amount of work he had to do daily. As it was expected once King Regis had discussed the details with the Council things also sped up with Nifhleim. It took only a few days to talk about the details, though the exact date of the signing was still undecided. Yet, King Regis insisted on Noctis getting on his way to Altissia.

Ignis quickly emptied his office too, distributing some tasks and reports, and also brought some to the Scientia archives too. He last minute read up on some confidential information too, even if he had them all memorized already. But he couldn’t help being nervous. He also passed the cabinet Matrona’s personal file was several times, wondering if he should read into it. Somehow, it still felt too personal. Ignis was still afraid to do it. At one point he got as far as to open the drawer and take the file into his hand, but he was unable to open it. In the end, he put it back, and decided to look at it once he was back… Once all the storm has passed.

After he made his rounds to say goodbye to people, he could finally go to Noctis to help him pack up his apartment together with Gladio and Prompto and move everything back to the Citadel.

As Ignis passed through the entrance hall, he spotted Nyx walking toward him, seemingly in thought.

“Good afternoon, Nyx,” Ignis greeted him, stepping into his way to make him realize he was actually there.

“Right, afternoon, Scientia,” the Glaive blinked, rubbing his face, as if he just waked from a dream. He looked like that lately. As if he wasn’t entirely himself, as if he was defeated. And Ignis couldn’t blame him.

“I meant to call you later, to say goodbye.”

“Oh yeah, me too,” Nyx said. He looked over to the elevators before he turned to Ignis again. “I have these car keys I have to turn in, wanna walk with me a little?”

“Sure,” Ignis frowned a little and followed the Glaive to the elevators.

“I know you’re leaving,” Nyx started quietly. “But I don’t think I’ll be here when you’re back, you see.”

“What do you mean?” Ignis asked, with a slight unease in his stomach.

“I’m going back to Galahd. They need me there more than they need me here. I’ll stay until the treaty signing, but after that… I’ll quit all this and go back home.”

Ignis didn’t know what to say. Somehow, it made sense that Nyx wanted to fight for his home, and it was true that he couldn’t do that anymore in Insomnia. Yet, it made Ignis uneasy. Almost sad. The Glaives won’t be the same without Nyx in their ranks.

“Will you be alright?”

“I’ll be home, fighting for my people, that’s the most alright I could be,” Nyx said in a bitter laugh.

“Once I’m back, I’ll find ways to help you.” Ignis’ statement made Nyx look at him, just the same time as the elevator arrived.

“You’re serious, Scientia?”

“It may be hard, but not impossible,” Ignis nodded. “I can’t stop you from going back, but it’s the least I can do, after all you did for me in the past.”

Nyx eyed him, but not in suspicion. If anything, it was the softest expression Nyx ever showed him. His home was really important to him, if not the most important in his life.

“Thank you,” he whispered, softly. “Busy tonight?”

“I have to help Noct move, and still have some work to take care of,” Ignis sighed.

“Let’s drink, when you come to Galahd then,” Nyx grinned and stepped into the elevator. “Oh yeah, and good luck on your trip with the prince. Bring back a good princess to us!”

Ignis smiled waving goodbye to the Glaive as the elevator doors closed. He couldn’t help thinking that he was setting himself up for more work once he was back in the Crown City and if he was doing it on purpose. So that he had a reason to come back, so that they could come back safely… And that he can Prove Master Sulla wrong, that he can prove his whole family wrong.

Ignis, however, didn’t let himself think about such things while he went on his day. They helped Noctis move, and after that they all went to their separate ways to spend their last night in Insomnia. Ignis was working, and trying to get some news from the outside. He only caught a few hours of sleep before he arrived back to the Citadel terribly early in the morning, way before Gladio and Prompto, to prepare Noctis’ breakfast for when he wakes up.

After that, they had to go to the throne room, for the official ceremony of being sent on their way.

It felt like a dream of some kind. Standing in front of King Regis, with Noctis, Gladio and Prompto. Watching His Majesty actually struggle to let Noctis go made Ignis wonder if he wasn’t sure he could welcome them back either. It didn’t help Ignis’ own fears about this journey, but there was no way back now. Just as his Uncle said, he handled the daemons inside this wall, he’ll handle them outside too. And as Matrona told him, he fought his way back once, so Ignis was sure he’d do it once again. By Noctis’ side, always.


	24. Epilogue

Their fight was long and vicious and they had to have all their wits with them, from the moment they passed through Insomnia’s gates. As expected, nothing went smoothly. Nothing at all.

Only one thing, however, went according to plan. Or more like, according to prophecy.

Noctis had brought back the light, ending the ten years of darkness on Eos. Just as the prophecy said, his mortal body had perished with that sacrifice.

Ignis often asked Gladio and Prompto, if they also remembered that dream, where they were all together once again, at a campfire, because he was afraid they wouldn’t. That it was just his mind making things up. But every time they told him they remember and Ignis was calm for another few weeks. It was the only time he could see Noctis’ face all grown up. He could see him smile again, but he also could see him cry again. But finally, Noctis was calm, Noctis knew what his fate was. And he went on, alone, without them.

Without Ignis.

And Ignis carried on without Noctis.

It was the hardest thing to do, and on some days Ignis wasn’t sure he could do it another day. On those days he was the most thankful for the support he’d gotten from Prompto and Gladio.

Life slowly returned to the City, however scarce it was at first. The Kingdom of Lucis was no more, just like the Empire has also perished. New borders were established, new governments were starting to form with the help of the ones who survived. Gladio and Ignis were the members of the New Council that was established to help organize their lands once again. Prompto was an honorary member, however, he said he wasn’t cut for politics, he preferred to stay around Hammerhead.

Once they had a plan, and a future to look forward to, it started to get easier.

Until Prompto’s body started to collapse not only a year later after Noctis’ sacrifice.

It happened so fast, and so sudden that Ignis and Gladio could barely make it to him before he followed Noctis. The doctors said that it was also a miracle Prompto’s body made it for this long, considering it wasn’t made for living, but to be converted into a weapon. It wasn’t much of a comfort, however. Ignis barely remembered those days, other than screaming and crying all night. It felt like everything he ever accepted in regards to all of their fates all became undone. He remembered cursing everything in his panicked rages, holding onto Gladio with a deathgrip. It went on for days, until Ignis finally had no strength in him to cry and scream. Only then they held the funeral, burying Prompto Argentum in a royal tomb, next to Noctis.

After Ignis had recovered from his collapse, Gladio asked for his hand in marriage. He told him he wanted to live the rest of his life with him. And Ignis said yes, because he wanted to live the rest of his life with Gladio, too. With the man who saw him at his worst, and still, he slid a ring onto his finger.

They worked in the Citadel, side by side, married to each other for long years. Making sure that Noctis and Prompto will all be remembered, along the previously nameless heroes that helped along the way. Ignis was doing extra work to have a memorial built in the lands of Galahd, with the help of Libertus Ostium, for the Galahdians that fought in the war, with special attention to Nyx. As long as Ignis was in the New Council he made sure that New Galahd would never suffer shortness in anything and that Nyx’s legacy would carry on.

After the New Council was formed, it was also a matter of time to hear some voices from the old world whisper into their ears. A night when Ignis was alone in his office, someone went to see him, asking about the Scientia heritage. Of what would happen with the remaining members of the family. Ignis had a few that reported for service to him and he told them to keep standing by. Because he knew that the old world needed the Scientias, but he wondered if the new one also did too. He asked Gladio’s opinion about it, and of course the Amicitia didn’t support the idea of having once again someone like the Scientias around.

With Gladio’s opinion considered, Ignis still took a few agents, however he also built the family anew. He never wanted anyone to suffer as he did. He never wanted any of them to feel alone and die nameless. He also encouraged them to ask for help from others, too. He knew the plan had flaws, and that the few remaining older members would still try to plague it, yet, Ignis trusted in their future.

When they decided to retire, Gladio and Ignis had moved out of the City to near Galdin Quay. Not long after they moved into their house there, a small black cat also wandered into their household. Ignis took a liking to the small, scrawny thing, but Gladio claimed to hate it. They never named it, however.

Ignis remembered those days by the seaside a bliss. His days would be filled with garden work, listening to music, or listening to Gladio read to him… all those things that counted luxury back in their days. The nights, however, they tended to get ugly. There were numerous times Ignis found himself outside, with daggers in his hands, fighting an invisible enemy. Whenever Gladio came to bring him back to the house, Ignis remembered a childhood memory of his; of him watching a woman with messy, dark hair and crumpled and dirty nightclothes, holding a dagger and looking manic into the darkness. It reminded him he had never read Matrona’s files. But he did build a memorial hall for her, at the same place as her Passing House stood. She may not appreciate it, but it was the most Ignis could do for her memory.

Gladio followed Noctis at the end of a long, golden afternoon. Ignis didn’t scream at him this time, but told him he was mean for leaving him alone.

After he was widowed, Ignis still stayed in the house, visited by Iris and Talcott a lot, he had no time to feel alone. Though he was afraid of the nights, now that he had no one to anchor him, who would physically hold him back whenever he would go fight with his demons… But he managed. Even if some mornings he found himself collapsed in the garden, or by the shore, Ignis managed, just like he always did.

That morning too, he felt a cool breeze on his cheek and a fresh scent that was unlike his bedroom. With a sigh, Ignis rolled on his side, frowning as he saw something through his eyelids. It was light, stronger than he was used to. Instinctively, he opened his eyes, just to be blinded by the sun. With a groan, he pulled up his hand to shield his face from the rays of light for a second. But as he felt them warm his palm he had the irresistible urge to follow that warmth from the cold he was lying in. His limbs were stiff and sore, yet this time, he had no problem moving them to push himself up and walk toward the light. Quite the contrary, he felt light on his feet, just like he did when he was at his peak. Ignis thought the source of the light was further away, but suddenly he stumbled and the warmth engulfed him, as if he would have arrived into a spring morning.

“Took you long enough,” he heard a voice as someone was holding his forearm to steady him.

“Gladio?” Ignis stuttered, looking at the man. Only to realize he was really _ looking _at him. He saw him. Gladio was standing next to him, holding his arm and smiling that soft smile Ignis adored on him. He appeared young, terribly young, however, it felt like his features were changing from time to time, making him look older, younger, as if it was all of Gladio’s life in front of Ignis’ eyes. “Gladio,” Ignis sighed, not entirely sure if this was a dream, or another hallucination, but he didn’t mind. He felt light and happy. Happy in a way he probably never was in his life.

With a soft chuckle, Gladio pulled him in and Ignis went, kissing him on his warm lips, loving to have a taste of him again.

“I missed you,” Ignis said, expecting to feel that tremendous grief he had felt after Gladio’s passing. But all he felt was relief.

“Yeah, missed you too,” Gladio answered, kissing back. “The others will be here soon, you’re just in time.”

“The others?” Ignis blinked, just to have Gladio take his hand and lead him away from the tent he probably just came out of. He walked him through the campsite, to the edge of the cliff and pointed toward the huge lake nearby. Ignis felt like he had been to this place before, but he couldn’t point out when or what it was called. His gaze followed Gladio’s finger, through lush, green bushes and trees, just to spot two figures walking on the path leading up to them.

They were Noctis and Prompto. Looking young, yet just like Gladio, as if all their existence would walk in those bodies, rather than a moment of their lives.

Gladio yelled out to them, to catch their attention and suddenly Ignis felt nervous.

Both heads turned toward them, and Ignis saw Prompto’s jaw drop, before he would spring into a dash to run up the path. Only to basically tackle Ignis as he hugged him.

“Iggy! Good morning!” he laughed, bright and shiny and smelling like the sun itself. Ignis couldn’t help to put his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Good… morning?” he greeted, feeling tears in his eyes. They weren’t of grief or bittersweetness, but of happiness. Of relief. Of the smothering feeling of belonging to somewhere and being welcomed. Prompto then pulled back, smiling at him brighter than any sunny day in his life, his blue eyes filled with tears too, his freckles vivid through his red cheeks. “Let’s make tonnes of pictures later, okay?”

“Let’s,” Ignis nodded, petting his blonde hair with trembling fingers unable to look away from him, now that he could see him. Was he always so colorful?

“Can we have fish for breakfast?” Noctis asked suddenly. Prompto grinned and looked toward the voice. Together with him, Ignis did too.

There he was. Noctis. Standing just a few steps away. Young and eternal, just like all of them in this strange dream. That wasn’t a dream at all, Ignis realized.

Prompto let him go, and this time, it was Ignis who moved toward Noctis to put his arms around him. He felt just like he remembered. Warm and safe in his arms. Just like when he was holding onto him in a storm.

“Yes,” Ignis answered the question, weak and overwhelmed. He had no idea happiness could also hurt this much. He also had a question of his own. “This time, can I come with you?” he asked, quietly.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Noctis answered with a smile that Ignis felt more than saw. 

Once again, they were together to take the trip through nameless lands, until they reached their destination. But this time, Noctis was no prince, Prompto was no clone, Gladio wasn’t a Crownsguard heir and Ignis was not a dagger. They were just four brothers, taking on their last journey together through eternal summer.


End file.
